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2 days on xHamster
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Personal information
About me
My personality was sneezed out by a giant pink elephant a hundred years ago and kept in a box under a train station. It was found there and injected into me after a terrifying helicopter accident which left me without the concept of jealousy.
Because it couldn’t possibly get any worse, I’ve become a subject of the internet whirlpool so that my head barely pierces the surface. Sometimes I stop typing long enough to realise the world around me is on fire. Then, without acknowledging this failing, I go back into the darkness of the dungeon taking the pressure with me. And the skittles.
I do write. I like chocolate, systems analysis, the concept of a multi-planetary human species and the colour red. On Thursdays I search for lost animals with names that begin with the letter P. My favourite zombies carry flowers and wear hats. Ultimately, I’ll retire to the number 42 and live out the rest of my days with a small group of female vegetarian plumbers who all come from Swindon.
Because it couldn’t possibly get any worse, I’ve become a subject of the internet whirlpool so that my head barely pierces the surface. Sometimes I stop typing long enough to realise the world around me is on fire. Then, without acknowledging this failing, I go back into the darkness of the dungeon taking the pressure with me. And the skittles.
I do write. I like chocolate, systems analysis, the concept of a multi-planetary human species and the colour red. On Thursdays I search for lost animals with names that begin with the letter P. My favourite zombies carry flowers and wear hats. Ultimately, I’ll retire to the number 42 and live out the rest of my days with a small group of female vegetarian plumbers who all come from Swindon.
