tim1936's Blog

Facts. Porn v Reality


REAL SEX V PORN SEX.
Internet facts of interest.

1 Average penis is 5-7 inch. Porn site penis is 6-9 inch.
2 Only 65% of woman and 85% of men actually shave their genital region.
3 Porn stars are instantly aroused. Real couples take 10-12 minutes.
4 Average male intercourse time is 3 minutes. Porn stars can go for days.
5 Only 11.5% of women have actually had a same sex experience.
6 Only 40% of women have actually indulged in anal sex.
7 Only 22% of women will really take a load on the face.
8 And only 6% of women actually swallow said load.
9 Only 18% of women actually admit to... Continue»
Posted by tim1936 5 days ago  |  21

Difficult Sex QUIZ with a PRIZE

THE SEX QUIZ (Or certain meanings of words that you would rather not explain to a c***d)
1. Second brass instrument, the tart.
2. Sounded as if IV had IC in a race?
3. Sake regularly went about a play on words.
4. Piano, say, but not a vertical tart. (2words)
5. The thrill of a nettle sting!!!!!!
6. Cueist bags potter to hide a tender bit. (2words)
7. Matisse painted her in red trousers.
8. Record of events lost original notes.
9. Lakeland hill at moon?
10. Fender to Fender? (3words)
11. And Typhoo thought it was for keeping leaves in!
12. Branched crys... Continue»
Posted by tim1936 22 days ago  |  18

Proverbs up dated for the sexually active

PROVERBS, SAYINGS and LAWS

“Illegitimi non carborundum”
Rewritten for the modern sexual world by Tim

1. Absence makes the testicles grow larger.
2. Law of mechanical repair: When your hands are covered in black greasy gunk you will see something that makes you want to wank.
3. Better cumming late than never.
4. What is cum for the gander is cum for the goose!
5. A pussy in the hand is worth two in the bush.
6. You don’t get pussy for nothing.
7. Too many cocks spoil the orgy.
8. A pussy shared is a pussy halved.
9. We must eat a peck of pussy before we die.
10. Law of gravity:... Continue»
Posted by tim1936 8 months ago  |  33

Plagiarising thieves

Unfortunately another plagiarising thief has appeared "Ripper88". If something is not done to stop these thieves, then I shall simply stop posting and delete my site. All I ask is that people play cricket and ask for permission, give accreditation - or is it too much to expect common decency from one's fellow man!
Posted by tim1936 9 months ago  |  17

HEALTH AND SAFETY DIRECTIVE RE: SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS


HEALTH AND SAFETY DIRECTIVE RE SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS.

Please note that, any person whatsoever, having any form of sexual activity whilst NOT being the named holder of a certificate showing completion of the “Health and Safety course Ref:2014/B/1AC/SEX” as amended by section 24(ii) of the Local and Behavioural Acts 2014, shall be deemed to be committing a criminal offence against one or more of the following: The Town Police Clauses Act 1847 (as amended by S2(ib) of the Sexual offences Act 2013, Local Bye Laws, Commiting acts of a lewd and dangerous nature so as to offend common sensibility un... Continue»
Posted by tim1936 10 months ago  |  24

[Story] The Interrogation of Alfredbjunk's wife

THE INTERROGATION OF ALFREDBJUNK’S WIFE BY TIM1936.

“She is so fucked and abused by over sized insertions, electricity, Ghost Pepper oil and criminal fucking that there is very little semblance of a female young sexy wife left. Hope you like extreme, because that is what prewar Russian OGPU deliver to nubile couriers that they catch carrying sensitive material out of Russia.”


CAPTURED AND INTERROGATED

I awoke in a brightly lit environment, I could not focus for the fierceness of the lights and my reeling head would not instantly bring to mind where I was. There was pain from all ove... Continue»
Posted by tim1936 1 year ago  |  10

Our rules for BDSM in a loving relationship

OUR RULES FOR BDSM IN A LOVING RELATIONSHIP

1. You must enter into the bdsm relationship by mutual consent - it must be a loving agreement or it merely becomes domination and sadism.
2. You must both agree what it is you are going to get out of the bdsm relationship. You, the man, is going to have the thrill of doing what he wants to a woman (your wildest fantasies can now be played out). She must be rewarded by the thrill of the unknown, the relaxation of abnegating responsibility for the sex session, AND she must be rewarded with her orgasmic pleasure - she will also get pleasure from kn... Continue»
Posted by tim1936 1 year ago  |  29

Deciding on what to use in a sex session using a d

SLAVE GAME SESSION

Rules for selective enjoyment of slave in game session
1. Penile penetration of bum/pussy/mouth may be at any time at master’s discretion.
2. Slave not to orgasm without permission.
3. Slave to pee or not pee on command.
4. Breach of rules = pussy smacking (no of strokes at masters discretion)
5. Dice to be thrown by slave for each category before session starts.
6. Activities are not mutually exclusive and may overlap at master’s discretion
7. Clothing at Master’s discretion
8. Emergency get out/stop password for slave in pain only “Cabbages”
9. Pussy to be shav... Continue»
Posted by tim1936 1 year ago  |  13

Mild sex game for Master and Sub

MASTER + SUB - LIGHT BONDAGE GAME
Game starts with Master in own dress code. Sub in mini skirt with wreckable nickers and bra only. Sub stands legs apart, hands behind back of head and confesses to being a sex slave sent for serious training in the art of controlling own orgasm and bladder.

As a sex slave she does what she is told exactly, she does not have an orgasm without asking for and receiving permission. All breaches receive punishment by way of smacks to an exposed cunt, and are to be doubled if Sub moves and has to be restrained – card drawn for number of smacks (AKQJ = 10)

Gam... Continue»
Posted by tim1936 1 year ago  |  10

[Story] The Sexual Frustration Act - "Liza - diary of

LIZA – STORY OF A SEX SLAVE

Ch.1. THE SCENE IS SET:

My name is Liza and I am a sex slave, I am nineteen years old and I have been with the Master for two years. It is actually a very good life style once one comes to terms with the Master’s exacting predilections. I am the newest recruit to the Master’s stable, he has two other girls and we all live in a big house within a high walled park.
I come from a mining village, and left school at twelve years of age to go and work as a bal maiden at the local wheal. It was hard noisy back breaking work, standing beside the stamps sorting crushe... Continue»
Posted by tim1936 2 years ago  |  7

[Story] Sexual Frustration Act 1768 - Punishment of a Kink

A CAUTIONARY TALE – THE PUNISHMENT OF A KINKYBITCH.

It seemed like a slow motion film, being frog-marched up the steps of the local office for the Ministry of Sexual Affairs, wearing only knickers and a pair of handcuffs, her attendant male had finally got her onto the second floor, where the Judges Chambers are situated.
There was a green light over one of the chambers and they had gone straight in. From the adjacent chamber, she could hear the dull thwacks of a cane being administered to bare flesh, followed by the moans of the recipient.
She now found herself in a small reception room ... Continue»
Posted by tim1936 2 years ago  |  2

[Story] Sexual Frustration Act 1768 - Melanie applies for

MELANIE – THE NYMPHOMANIAC

Today was Melanie’s big day, she had looked forward to it all year, it was her s*******nth birthday, and she had timed it just right that today was the day she would present herself before the Examining Magistrates as required in her application for a nymphomania licence.
She had wanted to apply for such a licence on her sixteenth birthday, i.e., as soon as she was sexually of a legal age to consent, however, being under eighteen she needed her father’s permission, and this had not been forth-coming until she had proved, after a year, that she still wanted a nymp... Continue»
Posted by tim1936 2 years ago  |  3

[Story] sexual frustration act 1768 - The Prologue

THE PROLOGUE

England mid 18th century was a lawless place, marauding bands of demobbed troops roamed the streets fighting all and sundry. Women were out of control, many spending time in the branks, which did not seem to deter their offensive behaviour. Pub fights were routine and **** a common offence. No one appeared happy and all appeared irritable.

This was not the sort of England that Farmer George wanted to reign over. Thomas Hobbes’s works on the social contract had been studied, as had Rene Descartes’s and Immanuel Kant’s. But they did not contain the answer, something was inhere... Continue»
Posted by tim1936 2 years ago  |  2

[Story] the sexual frustration act 1768

THE SEXUAL FRUSTRATION ACT 1768
THE PROLOGUE

England mid 18th century was a lawless place, marauding bands of demobbed troops roamed the streets fighting all and sundry. Women were out of control, many spending time in the branks, which did not seem to deter their offensive behaviour. Pub fights were routine and **** a common offence. No one appeared happy and all appeared irritable.

This was not the sort of England that Farmer George wanted to reign over. Thomas Hobbes’s works on the social contract had been studied, as had Rene Descartes’s and Immanuel Kant’s. But they did not contain... Continue»
Posted by tim1936 2 years ago  |  1

the sexual frustration act 1768

Posted by tim1936 2 years ago
1