Best telly sales call ever

So the phone rings, Its a silly number. Sometimes I don't pick it up sometimes I do for a giggle. So I picked it up. Hello they said. I say are you going to ask me any questions. They say no. Ok so what it about. He then said would you like to buy a condom? Err well with the callers hard to understand accent, I thought they might have said would you like to buy a condo. So I say what did you say. He then said would you like to buy a condom a strawberry flavor one? LOL so I say no! BUZZZZZZZZZZ end of phone call.… Read more

Posted by pimpledik 7 years ago 3

Up for

My mrs comes down stairs wet and naked and says are you in the mood for a. I think a fuck oh yes. A cup a tea she says, Bugger and I got to make the cupa as well.… Read more

Posted by pimpledik 7 years ago 3

Need help.

I only buy stuff that makes me go ooooooo. But a pair of thigh high boots have been on my need list for a long time the problem is I not seen any with the oooooooo factor. Please post pics' of a pair you like to help me get closer to getting a pair. XX… Read more

Posted by pimpledik 7 years ago 8

My mrs secret love.

My mrs drives to work and if she gets to a roundabout at the right time she meets this fella in a van. She says that he always stares at her if there sat next to each other at the traffic lights. They then go there separate ways. This morning she said that she was a bit late and the man in a van was just in front of her, the lights were green and the man in a van stopped at the green lights just so my mrs could pull along side. Happy in the knowledge that he had just seen the sexyest woman he could.… Read more

Posted by pimpledik 7 years ago 6

My lucky find

It was meant to be. I was looking at vid's on xham. I saw this vid of someone cumming on heels. What a sexy pair of heel they were. I'll go look on ebay to see if I can find anything similar. There they were the exact same heels, my size finishing in 2 hours, no bids. 99p + £4 post. Guess what there mine. XX… Read more

Posted by pimpledik 7 years ago 5

Planet rock radio

When listening to Darren Redick on the radio at work. He said we should text our other 1/2 or say the line feel like making love to see what reply we got. Some of the replies were great, 1 was he got a slap. 2 was text his best mate by mistake uups! 3 was just result. So I did and I did not get a reply. Sad face! But when my mrs came home she had that naughty look on her face. Top idea Mr Redick.… Read more

Posted by pimpledik 8 years ago 1

The other thing apart from AC/DC.

So we got to kings x ok, then on the under ground to our hotel. 10 mins walk sorted. Spots full of old rockers like us, there must be a DC concert or something going on. Got into room, ya feet up for a bit. I was lying on the bed then the next thing I know is mrs unzips me. OOO this could be promising. Skinny jeans pulled off. She undresses then starts to kiss my body. Yer I like that in a tickly way. She the wraps her boobs around my cock. It didn't need much persuasion to come to life. Oh yes I do love her big boobs rubbing up n down my cock, gets me all wet. My mrs love to squezz my juice o… Read more

Posted by pimpledik 8 years ago 6

big tits or big ass

Its a tough one as I like both. But a few words of wisdom. You can walk behind a big ass n hopefully not get into too much trouble. But gawping at big titty's may end with a slap. Any more thoughts?… Read more

Posted by pimpledik 8 years ago 5

The secret to wearing high heels without any pain?

I get an email from a heel shop every month. Its my heel porn monthly, and they recommend this in this month edition. XX happy hobbling or not. If you’ve ever hobbled home after a long day or night in heels, this tip is for you. Tape your third and fourth toes (counting from the big toe) together—we recommend nude medical tape for a low-profile look, but Scotch tape works in a pinch—to alleviate pain in the ball of your foot. Sounds crazy? Here’s the reasoning: there’s a nerve that splits between those two toes, which causes pain when pressure is put upon it (a.k.a. when you wear hee… Read more

Posted by pimpledik 9 years ago 6

What songs can you change the title to be naughty

OK It popped into my head and here's a few examples of what I mean. Add as many as you can think of. XX For those about to fuck we salute you. AC/DC With ass wide open. Creed Wank me off b4 you go go. Wham (Oer not my kinda music but it made me giggle)… Read more

Posted by pimpledik 9 years ago 17

Simple or is it?

Big ass or big tits? leave ya thoughts… Read more

Posted by pimpledik 9 years ago 8

Few

Those that know what im on about. when I say it shot out like a bullet. XX… Read more

Posted by pimpledik 9 years ago 2

my shed has gone.

Not a lot to say but I been knocking down a shed in my garden. In skinny jeans 'n' pink panties. My mrs came out n told me that she can see my gurly panties. Ups that means so can both neighbours. LOL naughty gurl. XX… Read more

Posted by pimpledik 9 years ago 10

OUps

So there i was cracking one of to a sexy chik getting it big time vid. I was about to blow my load. It was feeling gorgeous. Big throbbing hard on n a sticky wet head. Bugger the bloody mrs walking up stairs. I can not hold it any more. What to do. Man I came all over the inside of my dressing gown 'n' it was running down my leg. LOL yes dear yes dear. Hoping I not leak on the floor. But she went to the bath room. So did I after to wipe up.… Read more

Posted by pimpledik 9 years ago 9

xham

Ok guys this site seems to be having a big problem were's cams gone, no user list. Getting silly. So if this site goes tits up I'll give you my email so if you want to you can keep in touch. [email protected]. Also I'm of on holiday for a week. I just hope there is a site to come back to. PD… Read more

Posted by pimpledik 10 years ago 4