(7 months ago)
Signed up:1379 days ago
Last Activity:54 days ago
Profile Viewed:149,693 times
I'm:Catherine, 36
From:Los Angeles, California, United States
Languages:English, German
Personal Information
Kids:No, but want some
Occupation:Snow Bunny
Education:Current grad school student
Star sign:Libra
Physical Information
Body type:Athletic
Height:5 ft 6 in (168 cm)
Hair length:Medium
Hair color:Brown
Eye color:Blue
About Me

Proud Devil Bitch

This page was created with the intention
of helping me understand my fractured
and slightly disturbed mind, a condition
caused by encountering and embracing my alter-ego,
Lilith, last year.

Lilith is that side of me that was always repressed
during my career and out in society in general. She
is the woman I always was but never could be because
I had a particular role to fill and a certain job to perform,
both to which Lilith represented a major hinderance.

Over the past decade, as Lilith remained locked in my
mind, she grew more restless, naughty, frustrated, and
undeniable. She vied for power with my dominant
self, as I waged a losing battle to keep her
under control and out of my life. As I considered Lilith
to be contrary to my values, I fought that battle with
everything that I had.

But no matter the scenario into which she presented
herself, Lilith always triumphed over me in my mind.
Over and over again, Lilith arose and overtook me.
Sometimes I pictured her destroying my career and my
relationships, while others I watched as she lured me
into corruption and immorality. Always, I felt as though
I had plummeted from some great height afterward, normally
feeling spent, bloodied, and overpowered at the bottom as
I welcomed a restful death away from Lilith's spirit.

Yet a little over a year ago I decided to stop denying
Lilith her right to live and allowed her a place in my heart
and life. Like being swept up by a whirlwind Lilith took
control of my mind; she rose to the fore even as I sunk
into the background. As if I was possessed, I watched
as Lilith lived out her every desire through me, using my
body, my mind, my assets, everything, to satiate the
hunger I produced by repressing her for so long.

And she was a very, very hungry girl!

I will get into more detail later, though suffice it to say
for now, the blog I wrote concerning my gang bang last
August was only one way in which Lilith has used our
time together. She and I have done quite a few other
unlady-like things since last year, so much so that I am
now in therapy. I might write about some of those
adventures also, if I feel I can do so with anonymity.

At the moment I am quite happy with my decision to
allow Lilith into my life. In fact, all of the experiences she
and I have shared have allowed me to grow as a person
and gain wisdom. More importantly, I feel that Lilith has
offered me salvation by freeing my mind from religious
and societal dogma through the fulfillment of her desires
which many of us call "sin." In this sense, I consider Lilith
my Christ, for she has set my mind and conscious free.

My page is a brief metaphor for the journey Lilith took me
on over the past year. It begins with her arrival and
becoming inside me in which I relinquished to her command
of my life. It continues on through various aspects of myself
which I came to accept and like, or at least that I did not
continue to repress. Ultimately it shows my trip into Lilith's
playground, ending with what I hope will be the stable and
happy return of control of my life to me, Catherine, as Lilith
and I learn to coexist.

Below each picture is a link to a song that I think fits that
particular moment or aspect of my life.

Lastly, cum grano salis all of this is very real, but I take none
of it to be too serious. To do so would just be fucking crazy.


Lilith Awaits:

Die Sonne Satan - "The Venerable"


Attention on Deck!

Lilith approaches:

Nine Inch Nails - "Reptile"


Change of Command

Lilith becomes:

Marilyn Manson - "Apple of Sodom"


In Moonlit Whispers

I like to fuck myself to this:

TOOL - "Reflection"


When Dominating

I like to fuck to this:

God Module - "The Ones We Love"


Whilst On My Knees

I like to get fucked to this:

Velvet Acid Christ - "Slut"


Breaking Boundaries

I like fucking to this:

Puscifer - "The Undertaker (Renholder Remix)"



I like to make love to this:

A Perfect Circle - "The Hollow (Acoustic Sessions)"


When Whorish

I like getting goddamned naughty to this:

Melleefresh and Deadmau5 - "Hey Baby"


Goin' Up

I like to roll to this:

Perish Studio 69 - Goddesses and Warriors Rave @ Vanguard Hollywood (2011)


Goin' More Up

I like to pretend I can dance to this:

Chemical Brothers - "Don't Think" (Black Swan Soundtrack)


The Sky's the Limit

I like to lose control to this:

Bluescreens - "Assault"


Sailing High Over Manic Seas at Twilight, and the Stars. Are.
............ S s S c C CR EEee E A a eamM iN INNGGG! ! ..!!!

I like to trip out to this:

Case & Point - "Upgrade"


Can You Stand On Your Head???

I like to freak out to this:

The Fish House - "Stripped"


Attention on Deck!

Lilith departs:

Ayria - "Counterblow"


[Thank you Jedermann for the outstanding picture.]


Ravaged in Lilith's wake:

Hungry Lucy - "A Girl Alone"


Forgive Me

Searching for Salvation:

Type O Negative - "Christian Woman"



Accepting Lilith:

Flyleaf - "All Around Me"



Catherine resumes command:

Katy Perry - "Part of Me"

Last comments for lilith10
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7 days ago
9 days ago
It's the time to rebuild the profile.
13 days ago
Thinking of you as always when I'm on xham. Hope your well. :)
21 days ago
miss you every time im on this site Kate!!!!! :) I hope your New Years was amazing as long as I'm around and this profile is around I will continue to leave you messages.
21 days ago
heyyy. im chus. , nice to meet you ! could be friends ?
25 days ago
Happy 2015, Kate! Be safe & have fun : )
26 days ago
Have a great new year sweet heart! :)
27 days ago
that is an awesome profile!
1 month ago
I can't forget my popess today!
Have spicy holidays Kate!
1 month ago
1 month ago
Hey Kate,

Hope your having a great December. Christmas is just right around the corner.
1 month ago
1 month ago
Just thinking of you Kate. :)
1 month ago
Hey came to see if you are around... God it's been ages since I've heard from you!
2 months ago
Happy Thanksgiving, Kate! missing you plenty x
2 months ago
Yes, I'm glad you were among us for a while.
I wish you a wonderful thanksgiving.
2 months ago
Hey you were online three days ago. :D Hope your well.
2 months ago
welcome back Catherine ;)
2 months ago
I was only thinking last night that the level of intellectual discourse has gone down hill with you gone.What a coincidence to see you here now :)
2 months ago
Hope you're back!
2 months ago
I saw a nun outfit in a store tonight!! Yes even after halloween and I giggled a little bit. It made me think of you. Hope your hanging there Kate miss you.
2 months ago
Happy Halloween, Kate...I'm sure you'll be out doing something very bad in the midnight hour x
2 months ago
You are interesting...very
2 months ago
Time to leave XHam due to my marriage. This is not worth any break up if she finds this here. Good luck and nice chatting!
2 months ago
Missed,a lot.
3 months ago
Kate!!!!!!!! Just thinking of you.:)
3 months ago
Hellooo Kate! I hope you're well & enjoying your days, a bunch of us still keep you in our thoughts : )
4 months ago
Just popping by again...hoping you're doing well wherever you are x
4 months ago
Missing you Kate,

Here's the revamped invite. Please send to all your female friends and a few select males. We need more boobies! Lol.


The party is on October 17, 2014. It will begin 8 pm Central Standard USA time

It is an online party. Just log in and go to xhamster.com/user/PartyPlayHouse

ATTENDANCE IS BY INVITATION ONLY so send your request to attend the party to SassyBri at xhamster.com/user/SassyBri or to Leaflee at xhamster.com/user/Leaflee. Please send your request for an invitation by October 10, 2014 so we have time to review your profile. We’re not snobs. We just want to try and ensure our guests are compatible!!
If you are accepted, we will send you a Friend Request to the PartyPlayHouse profile. It helps if you already know someone on the Friends list of PPH so please reference them when you send your request. We will do our best to review late invitation requests but cannot promise a response as we’ll be busy preparing for the party.

It's really very simple. You just jump in and start making comments on the profile wall or in the various specialty blog “rooms” and chat with other partiers! It’s a porn site so believe me there will be some very special room blogs!! Leaflee (Leslee) and I will host the party so ask us any questions before or during the party.

You may if you'd like. Send the link to your favorite internet image or one of your own making to the PartyPlayHouse PM box. SassyBri will add the image to a blog room specifically showcasing the member's that choose to have costumed representatives. Other's will be represented by their profile page avatar.

Trolls will not be tolerated. There will be a blog room dedicated to REPORTING TROLLS. Attacks will be cut short, and Trolls will be immediately BLOCKED.

Just contact SassyBri at xhamster.com/user/SassyBri or Leaflee at xhamster.com/user/Leaflee
They will answer your questions on their profile pages.


EXPERIENCE the PartyPlayHouse
4 months ago
Totally stalking someone that is not here. Every time I log into xham I think you. I don't know if you realize what you did for me. There was a subject matter I couldn't just talk to anyone about. You were open and honest and helped me very much. I value you stuff like that. I will never forget it. Thank you so much for helping me understand the thoughts I was having and feelings on it. Your a wonderful person and I hope you're well.

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