Kinky_Mushroom's Blog

The Real Reason People Don't Like 50 Shades I

purely & simply - jealously.

The detractors of it are just pissed off that someone has come along & written a bestseller when underneath they wish they had.

Just a thought.

Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 9 days ago  |  4

Malignant Melanoma?

Okay, a strange little tale about my little toe! About 3-4 weeks ago I noticed this black spot on the little toe of my right foot. I hadn't seen it before & because I rarely look at my feet I had then wondered how long it had been there. At this point being a drama queen I had immediately thought: malignant melanoma. Anyway, Ju had taken a look & she had said, 'I don't think it is a melanoma but prob best to see the doc.' The next day I had phoned for an appointment which was scheduled for a couple of weeks later (tomorrow in fact). I then logged onto the net to research malignant melanoma. Af... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 11 days ago

Every Fucking Decision I've Made Has Been the

‘Every decision I have made in life has been the wrong decision.’

That’s what a former colleague of mine once said to me.

Naturally as it’s a good line I started using it myself from time to time.

‘Every fucking decision I have ever fucking made has been the wrong fucking decision,’ I would say on occasions to select people in my life.

I liked the line but the truth was that it wasn’t a 100% true. Maybe 90%.

Anyway (another word I use far too much) it’s been a stressful couple of days. Let me enlighten you. Or rather en-darken you.

Okay, over the years I’ve suffered fr... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 11 days ago


The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;...
T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread.

In her left hand she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 11 days ago

Fifty Shades of.....

Deep Heat!

That's all I could smell last night whilst I smacked her with a sandal prior to frigging & fucking her.

The missus has got a tender shoulder so every night before bed I rub Deep Heat into it. I also, being a bit sadistic, the other night rubbed some on to her nipple which she kind of enjoyed too, but then forgot & handled 'Richard' who then went rather warm. Karma, I guess.

Talking of FSOG we've booked tickets & very much looking forward to it though I half expect to be disappointed. I often am with hyped up films.

Anyway, I've never read it but the missus reckoned it wa... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 11 days ago

A Masochist Isn't.....

someone who likes pain, they're someone who needs pain; a special type of pain.

Just a thought.
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 11 days ago

The Vampire - Flash Fiction

I awake and roll out of bed. I slip my dressing gown on & prepare to go downstairs for breakfast.

The light is somewhat 'pearly' & I know that I am still dreaming; a dream within a dream.

I sense that The Vampire is close; he has been stalking me for a while now.

I get back into bed & swiftly fall asl**p again.

I rise refreshed & the light is natural. I will have no trouble with The Vampire now.
Once again I slip my robe on. No. For the first time, for it was only a dream before.

I am looking forward to breakfast; I can almost smell the sizzling bacon. The birds are beginning t... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 11 days ago

The Valley of the Shadow of Death


I have thrown myself from the pa****t of a church that no longer stands in the other world & I do not feel fear.

Yea, though I walk through the shadow of valley of death, I will fear no evil.....

I am accelerating at the rate of 32 feet per second per second. I will not attain terminal velocity though the velocity is terminal.

& why am I thinking of O'level physics?

Did not Nietzsche say: Of what use is the knowledge of the chemical composition of water to a drowning man?

Soon I will be free. Very soon.

I feel tranquil. There will be no pain.

Y... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 11 days ago

Suicide - Emotional Tale

Roger stood in plain view of himself in front of the large mirror in the sitting room - he wanted to see himself die.

There was nothing for him to live for: his wife had left him & his career was going nowhere fast; nothing excited him anymore. He had nothing to look forward to. He was permanently tired with hypertension & cholesterol. It would only be a matter of time before a fatal heart attack anyway. Nobody would miss him; perhaps his income but that would be compensated by insurances. Nobody listened to him; his opinions & interests counted for nothing. His wife had only been intereste... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 11 days ago

[Story] Breezy Beach Rendezvous - Weird Tale

He found himself standing on the beach. He was naked yet curiously he experienced no shame or embarrassment.

He was at the shore's edge impassively observing the wavelets break relentlessly upon the rippled sand.

The sea was green, the sky was blue & the sand yellow. It was like a c***d's crayon drawing: primary colours in a primary world.

He had alternately swum & sun bathed here many times in the past; it was his home town, the town of his birth & c***dhood.

Something came to mind that he thought he had long forgotten:

He was f******n again & lying on a towel spread over the p... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 25 days ago

Apologies & Thanks

First of all, many thanks & an apology to ALL of you who have responded to yesterday’s blog & video. I/we are VERY touched.

But, I also want to say: what a difference a day makes. You see, this morning, everything is just fine & hunk dory. Just fine. The reason?

Well, after I had composed yesterday’s blog (written when I was feeling a little down) we got on with other aspects of our lives: the missus popping over to the ‘big town’ have her hair done & also to meet up with her s****r whilst I did a few chores which included cleaning the bathroom thoroughly in the nud... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 1 month ago  |  3

Wondering Whether to Stop Uploading Our Vids Anymo

In a funny mood today as feel old & a little down. Beginning to think that maybe it’s all down-hill from now on in.

I don’t know.

Anyway, last night I recorded one of the missus’s favourite fantasies to the PC with the idea that I would play it whilst licking her off; & something I was looking forward to doing very much. So, we went to bed & I commenced to massage her with some body cream that was probably past its sell-by date (like me I beginning to suspect). I hasten to add that I filmed it too because I’m still just getting a buzz out of it. Just.

Yeah, as I’ve said I continued t... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 1 month ago  |  6

[Story] A Kiss of the Slipper

I received a phone call yesterday. It was from Susan. Susan is the wife of The Miscreant.

"Hi Susan, nice to hear from you, how's things?"

"Hi Ima, I take it you are okay….. but this isn't a social call. I know that you correct females on a regular basis but I was wondering if you could correct my husband again. Just recently he's slipped into bad habits: he's become lazy, slovenly and started flirting with other women. I work long and hard to keep the home together and he's just….. beginning to take the piss!"

"He's basically a nice bloke but he needs a gentle reminder once in... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 1 month ago

Transcending the Transcendence - One of My Weird P

I am beyond life


Not dead.

I am beyond death


Not corporeal.

I do not breathe;

I do not hunger;

I do not thirst


I cannot touch


I can see







The Transcendence:

The curved is straight; the straight is curved.

Substance is void; void is substance.

The end is the beginning; the beginning is the end.

Being is life and not-life.

Five dimensions:

Up and Down;

Left and Right;

In and Out;

Relative time


Absolute time.

The dreamed, dreams; the known, knows.

Throug... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 1 month ago  |  2

Last Night's Beating & This Morning'

Well, a rather kinky & horny start to the New Year. Last night at about 10 o’clock (or should that be o’cock) I submitted (okay, requested) to a rather hard beating.

After having stripped off I then lay face up on the bed with the missus rubbing my nipples to get me erect. Having achieved that she then gave me 7 hard lashes across my penis. It was as you would expect quite painful with 2 of the strokes really agonizing. But at the same time it was incredibly exhilarating. Such is the paradox of sadomasochism.

The first stage of my punishment complete ‘we’ then moved into stage 2 - my flo... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 1 month ago

The Day My Mum Died

It was Tuesday 22nd November 1988, when Mum died - it was also the twenty-fifth anniversary of the day JFK was assassinated though I didn’t realize that till sometime after. I was 31 years of age & a bus driver for the local bus company, The Green & White Bus Company, & on that fateful morning just after 11 o’clock I had driven into Pier Town Bus Station to be greeted by the tall, dark & rather imposing form of Lynch, the duty inspector. My first thoughts were that an irate motorist or passenger had phoned in to complain about me & that the inspector had come out to grill me about whatever it... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 2 months ago  |  2

Video of Me Slippering the Missus OTK in 2012

Back in 2012 I gave the missus a good OTK spanking with a plimsoll. I uploaded the vid to Spanking Tube but then lost the clip after the computer crashed. Here's a link to it - if you're interested.
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 2 months ago  |  2

Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 3 months ago

I Think You Will Like Our Next Vid...

as this time I made sure the battery was fully charged!

Anyway, this morning we were both feeling rather fruity so I set up the camera & got on with the action: scratching her freckly back really hard with my nails; smacking her bum with my hand & the sandal; tickling her under the arms; squeezing her nipples till she shrieked! Once she was really wet I then handcuffed her to the headboard stretching her sexy arms behind her head. I then put my right hand between her legs, found her clit & commenced to finger & frig her. With my left hand I rubbed & kneaded her left nipple. Once settled & i... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 4 months ago  |  2

You Won't Like Our Next Vid!

Not certain you’ll like our next vid as things didn’t quite work out as intended – does anything?

Anyway, last night the missus fancied a bit of action & I’d said: ‘Shall we film it?’

‘Yeah, go on then,’ she had replied.

So, whilst she’d gone to the bathroom, I’d set up the tripod in the bedroom. I’d then got the camcorder out & positioned it ready. Next, I’d tried to switch it on with no response - the battery was dead & I mustn’t have charged it. Now, I had a spare battery but it’s coming to the end of its life & won’t hold much charge. But seeing as there was no other option I th... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 4 months ago  |  6