Kinky_Mushroom's Blog

Watch This Space!

Another fucking rainy day. I have to go to work shortly so really looking forward to cycling in this. Still, I’ll think of the money. Though I’m still actually thinking about this morning’s bit of hanky-spanky when we woke up about eight o’cock… I mean eight o’clock this morning. Yeah, usual routine: scratching, smacking, tickling, frigging & fucking. But it’s what we love. It feels intense & very gratifying so we ain’t going to change the routine. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

However we are going to try something additional stuff soon: candles, wax & bondage. Also some more beatings com... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 10 days ago  |  5

A Fantastic Day at Work!

1153: I’m already bored with just over five & a half hours to go. 1156: A guy walks past with arms as hairy as a gorilla’s. I wonder why men are hairier than women. 1202: Nobody here for a moment. Great. I hate people; most people. 1228: Joint in my groin clicks as I walk down stairs. 1231: A young blonde woman walks past me. She is pretty but not beautiful. Quite slim & dressed in a long grey short sleeved dress. Her arms are tanned & golden. I wonder what her face looks likes when she orgasms. 1232: A woman walks past in her seventies. For a second I wonder what her face looks like wh... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 10 days ago  |  1

Beat, Kink & Be Merry...

for tomorrow you may die.

Just a thought.
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 11 days ago

We Pursue That Which Retreats From Us

Lazy day planned. Missus is in the bedroom watching Jeremy Kyle & I’m in the lounge on the sofa (which will be paid off in December) with the laptop on my lap top. It’s a grey day & raining too – I can hear the light patter of the rain drops on the patio windows. I’m still thinking about last night’s frig & fuck as it was pretty intense because the missus had just finished her period. But more about that later.

Anyway, yesterday, as I was day off, we decided to go for a drive though we first had to drop off some stuff at the charity shop. Once we’d done that we had a pleasant little jaunt e... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 12 days ago  |  3

Memories of a Rainy Day

Just woken from a kip. Feel better. Refreshed. Sat on the sofa by the patio doors which are a little open. It’s been raining and I can feel a cool draught. Feels nice. There are raindrops on the glass and the seagulls are still squawking. They never shut up. But I don’t really care anymore.

I’ve a mug of tea by my side and it’s the mug that’s got a photo of me and the missus on it. The photo is of us on the Volk’s Electric Railway at Brighton – we are sitting in one of the carriages. The photo was taken by a friend. A very good friend. It was a rainy day too but we had a great time. Happy m... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 15 days ago  |  3

Just Had a Wank!

Yeah, missus didn't want sex (there's a very good reason for that) so she agreed to assist me with a wank. Bit of cuddling, rubbing my cock against her leg, face slapped, balls slapped, nipples rubbed (depraved fantasy) & finally an orgasm. It was filmed too.
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 16 days ago  |  5

Just Been Flogged

Not a bad day: Swim in the sea; tea at our favourite café watching the boats go by; pizza each; an episode of Midsomer Murders and a beating. 100 hard lashes of the flogger across my bare back and buttocks. Yes, it hurt, really stung. Yes, I’m still sweating after it. Yes, my back and bum are still rather warm. Yes, I needed it. Yes, we filmed it.
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 18 days ago  |  4

The Last Chapter?

It’s strange the things that come into your head. Or rather my head. Fantasies of a sexual nature. Fantasies of power and ego. Speculations about ‘life, the universe and everything’. Fragments of dreams from the night before. Memories of events you thought you’d forgotten. Memories of events you wish you had forgotten. In fact it can be safe to say in my case that I think of everything except things that could be useful or beneficial to my life like how to make more money or how to make life easier and/or more fulfilling.

Yesterday was no different.

So, I was there at work ... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 20 days ago  |  5

An Act of Casual Kindness

The sun is shining strongly through the window & I’m squinting my eyes. The seagulls are screeching as per normal & I’m sitting on the sofa which won’t be fully paid off till December. I’ve got a mug of coffee, Fairtrade Decaffeinated, on the little table by my side to the left of me. I feel good & in a few minutes I’ll be getting ready for work. The missus is having a lay in. She’s on holiday at the mo.

It’s funny really cos at work yesterday there were two things that I mainly remember. One, was that an elderly guy said to me: ‘I hope you don’t think I’m rude but you do really look just l... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 25 days ago  |  2

Sluts Anonymous - Part 2

In my last blog I left you hanging on when my ex Glacier Heart had texted me the day after I’d dumped both Millie & Lulu. I’ll be honest when I’d received a text from her my heart had skipped a beat. It always did with her. I don’t think it would now though.

The thing was I’d loved Glacier Heart & had almost been obsessed with her after we’d gone out shortly after I’d finally split from Moody. I did everything I could to keep her as long as I could though I knew at the time she would eventually dump me. You see, in a way, she had the attitude of one of those ‘lifestyle sluts’ though not the... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 1 month ago  |  5

The Snow Snake

I have stepped into an oil painting of an old ruined castle. Snow is drifting in & through the stone battlements. I catch hold of Juki’s hand & caution her to watch where she is stepping. As we gingerly move forward I espy movement on the ground. It is a snow snake & its long orange & grey mottled body is flat against the granite slabs. The snow snake’s tongue flicks out & for a moment it casts its evil looking reptilian eyes in our direction.

‘Do you think it saw us?’ the missus asks nervously.

‘No. It would have killed us if it had,’ I reply.

The missus shivers & we watch the ghastl... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 1 month ago

Sluts Anonymous

The seagulls are quiet this morning. I wonder what the fuckers are up to. Probably perched quietly on the roof tops to await my reaction when I go out & discover that the car is ‘iced’ like a wedding cake with their shit – I can imagine Jonathan turning to Livingstone & the rest of flock hiding just below the eaves & motioning for them to keep the squawking down. But they’ll have a long wait as I’m in blogging mode & already ensconced on the sofa (when the fuck will we have it finally paid off?) with the foot rest out & mug of tea by my side. The missus is to the right of me & I can hea... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 1 month ago  |  5

If You Weren't You Who Would You Like to Be?

Friday went to a party. It was a sixtieth birthday party for a work colleague. I was flattered we were asked. He didn’t invite everyone.

It was a fairly low key affair & I/we mingled & chatted with the other guests most of whom I knew already. I have to confess that underneath I’m an individual who is fairly introverted but who over the years has developed a false personality in order to survive in this world – I’m actually quite content with my own fantasies & speculations. Occasionally I’ll observe the clouds passing overhead too. The problem, however, with creating a false persona is tha... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 1 month ago  |  3

A Rant About Seagulls

Sitting on the sofa (the one we’re still paying for) with the footrest up. Sun shining through the patio doors, laptop on my laptop. In a bit I have to get ready for work.

How many times have I started my blogs this way? It’s always the same as I start off by describing where I am & what I’m doing. What I’m going to do. I’m becoming predictable. Boring. More boring. It’s becoming a kind of a ‘Groundhog Day’ type of blog.

Of course, there’s no such thing as a ‘Groundhog Day’ (except as a film) because every day is different. Actually what I want to say is that everything th... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 1 month ago  |  2

The Cruel Bitch Who Never Gave a Damn

It was just as I’d turn right into the top of the road that I’d seen her running across the street for a bus. Well, not so much running as cantering. It took me a second to realise that in all the time I’d known her I’d only ever seen her walk. To anyone else this probably wouldn’t be noteworthy but for me it was kind of significant. Why?

Well, if someone’s running for a bus it hints that that individual isn’t fully in control of their life because they’re not as organised as they should be: they can’t plan how much time a task will take; they haven’t made allowances for unexpected events -... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 1 month ago

Being a Cunt. Again.

Another hot day looms. I’m at work shortly & day off tomorrow. Maybe. Anyway, yesterday at work during a brief quiet spell I recounted an incident in which I was a bit of a cunt. Possibly a lot of a cunt. You see, even though I’m a pretty nice person (yeah, self-praise is no praise) once in a while people piss me off & when they do I can be a cunt. Without further ado here is the tale:

It was a couple of years back & I was walking up the high street with the missus minding my business when I spotted a group of people walking down in T-shirts holding forms. They were targeting individuals wh... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 1 month ago  |  4

Missus's Latest Fantasy

Foot rest up. PC on my lap. Sun shining through the upper frosted pane of the patio doors. Clear blue sky. Coffee down by my side on the floor. Yep, I’ve got a day off & the missus is currently doing an exam. She has aspirations. Her husband on the other hand is a dreamer & fantasist who never quite gets his arse into gear. The husband c’est moi. As if you haven’t guessed.

Anyway, I’ve got a few things to do later like get the push bike sorted as the front forks are making a rather unhealthy ‘graunching’ sound every time I turn. Not good. Possibly dangerous. I’ve also got to check the bank ... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 1 month ago  |  3

When You Least Expect It!

When you least expect it. Death that is. I don’t about others but I often wonder how I will die & what it will be like. Will I know what’s happening to me? Will it be agony? Will I be fighting it to the last? Will I passively accept it? Will the ‘beginning of the end’ start with a doctor or specialist saying to me: ‘The results have come back & I’m afraid it’s not good news…’

Who knows?

But there are a couple of other scenarios (is that the right term?) one of which is that you can, for instance, be walking along a road minding one’s business when a meteor lands on you or you get hit by ... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 1 month ago  |  5


So I’m talking to a fella at work the other day & he says: ‘Fred is a right womaniser. All the women here think he’s really slimy.’

Womaniser. Strange word that. Been labelled a womaniser myself in the past. Not now. I’m happily married. Settled.

Womaniser. Strange word like I said. Reminds me of breathalyser.

‘Would you mind just stepping to one side, sir,’ the constable orders.

‘What have I done?’ I reply innocently.

‘Just a routine check, sir. As you’re well aware having a woman now & again is no problem – we all do that. But if you have more than is good for you, then your j... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 2 months ago

I Can Read People's Minds

This guy comes up to me the other day whilst I’m at work. He’s shortish, bald & wearing a Superman T-shirt. He’s accompanied by another fellow. I say ‘hello’ to him & he says: ‘I’m psychic & can detect things that other people can’t.’ He then proudly & self-importantly gets out a crystal on the end of a silver looking chain & shows that to me. I nod politely but underneath think: ‘Twat.’ He then adds: ‘I can also read people’s minds too. I think: ‘Even bigger twat!’ ‘I reckon it’s time to go,’ he says to his mate. Hmmm.
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 2 months ago  |  2