Bratty Cover-up: I Pinned You Down and Filled You up

You saw my interview and you heard my innocent little alibi. Now you get to see the uncut, restricted footage of what actually happened when we were alone. You were being completely useless helping me set up for the party, so I decided to hook the industrial helium tank nozzle right up to you. The warning label said it had a massive PSI output and instant airflow, but oops, my hand slipped. The valve magically jammed and I just stood there watching you fill up with so much intense pressure. Your clothes stretched, the seams popped, and you turned into a giant, perfectly round sphere right in the middle of my living room. I absolutely loved watching you get so full and light that you lifted right off your feet and got trapped hovering against my roof. I had total control over you. And the best part is that tomorrow, when the police ask me what happened, I will just tell them the wind caught you and you floated right out into the night sky. Nobody is going to believe the truth anyway.