Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 8
Mike came in to my apartment yesterday afternoon looking pretty angry. When asked what his problem was, ‘his girl would not let him do her in the ass’ was the answer… I honestly laughed; this dude is 6’5-230lbs (I think, cause he is ripped) and his girl who is Spanish is about 5’2-160lbs (cute sexy chubby girl) and he can’t get her to take it in the ass, well after thinking about it, if he f***ed her that’s **** right there.
Mike sat down rubbing his crotch, “dude go relieve yourself in the bathroom if you need to” I said to him still smiling. “You don’t get it b*o… I came home horny as fu... Continue»
This story is for those who closet freaks that choose not to come out!! (And everyone else) ENJOY!!
I got invited to dinner at my girlfriend Adrienne parent's house one evening. I had met with them on our 1st official date several months back before when she was nothing more than a sweet, innocent 22 year old (yeah, right). Come to find out she was not as innocent as she tried to portray herself in public. Behind closed doors, she was a closet freak that loved sex, but also loved being in control. Adrienne always want sex on her terms. I would break her sometimes but it always ended with a ... Continue»
Hi I'm a freak ass man. that like to dress up in women pantie and play with my 2 dildo so one day I got on my computer and put a picture up in me in some sexy pantie and said LOOKING FOR SOME BIG DICK and as soon I post it I got 8 hits so I start to talk and telling the I need a the biggest dick on here so a white guy put up a picture of his dick and I was like WOW that big so I start to hook it up so I can have that he must b horny as me he give me his number so I can call him so I call him and give him the in for he needs so while I was waiting I did some couple line of coke and smoke some ... Continue»
I think ever since I can remember, I was the hopeless romantic. I would open doors, pull chairs, bring flowers, and offer my assistance if someone needed help. It seems like this art form is dying day by day right in front of our eyes. I can assure you, there is nothing romantic about what transpired in my first encounter that cold January night! I remember it like was yesterday, not in a good or bad way, just as one of the funniest sex stories I will write about of sexual encounters of my life. Hopefully if you guys like this one I will have many more to add to the list! I am a goof ball and ... Continue»
How did I find myself here? Here being running down the side of the road completely naked. I suppose that is what happens when you mix some young adults with too much time and maybe too much alcohol. It was Memorial Day weekend, so naturally an excuse to have a party. It started off innocent enough, margaritas and hamburgers on the grill. The girls sunbathed in their bikinis while the menfolk prepared the fire cooked food. A few hours and six pitchers of margaritas later the sun was setting but things were only heating up for us. The five of us that were left were sitting around a fire pit mak... Continue»
Nakasanayang Pagta-talik by:RIDGZ
Kagagaling lang ni Rina sa trabaho ng gabi na ng umuwi siya at marami siyang na download na porn sa laptop nya sa opisina kaya naman tig-libog ang pekpek nya ngayon. Agad niyang binuksan ang pinto at nakita nya na nagulat pa ang nakakadena pa ring si Josh. Dati itong janitor sa opisina na ngayon ay sex slave nya na.
Inalok nya ng malaking sahod ang macho at gwapong lalaki na hindi nito inakala na para maging sex slave pala. Maganda, maya... Continue»
1. Have you ever had intercourse? Yes
2. Oral sex? Yes
3. Licked an ass? Yes
4. Had your ass licked? Yes
5. Stuck your tongue in their ass? Yes
6. Swallowed cum? Nope
7. Practiced bondage or BDSM? Experimented a little
8. Had anal sex? No
9. Had an orgasm from anal sex? Nope
10. Ever squirted or made someone squirt? Yes, dated a squirted for a while
11. Had sex with someone of the same sex? Nope
12. Did a threesome? Yes MMF
13. Did a foursome? Nope
14. Been in an orgy? Nope
15. Been in a gangbang? Nope
16. Had sex in public? Yes, good ole
MY FIRST BLACK GIRL!!
I am going to tell you guys a little about myself! I grew up in a Catholic household! I am the SEVENTH SON of a big f****y! Big enough that we can play any sport out there and have replacements. I was a bright student growing up and always at the top of my class and that was the case until I got on involved with sports. To say that in my f****y we are super competitive is an understatement. I was the captain of our soccer team 3 years and 1 of the 4 captains in our football for 2 years. Sports were my life! They just came naturally! I also played baseball. I didn't tou... Continue»
Hey, how many of you have had similar experiences to this - you 'take one for the team' for your friend (guy or gal) and you end up having the far better session than your friend and the so-called better looking date. One occasion is still so vivid in my mind. I think it worked out this way because I would always have marathon hook-ups. 69 or fuck, rest, go again, and sometimes go for round three before the sun would come up. When I've taken one for the team, these women were no exception. In fact, it was more likely I'd cum 2-3 times in those situations.
This time I'm recollecting I was ... Continue»
When I was single and using aol to meet women I chatted with a self-proclaimed 'curvy' 24-year-old gal named Lisa. I didn't see any photo of her ahead of time (and this was before the days of built-in cameras/skyping) but she did tell me that she had red hair on top and on the bottom. I followed up by asking if she shaved or trimmed any of her pubic hair. Her response was music to my ears(or eyes since we were chatting): "No, but it's like in between strawberry blonde and red, so I always thought it was kind of pretty." Of course, anyone who knows me knows that I love pussy hair no matter ... Continue»
Kooks was called to spend the night at Holly’s house, due to her Guardians are leaving her home alone for the weekend and believed to trust Kookoo to take care of her and respect their house rules. So he asked his older b*****r to drive him downtown to go to her house. After His b*****r dropped him off, Holly’s guardians came and hugged him and kissed him welcoming him to the home and explaining where the food is and where to hook up the PS4 to play Final Fantasy Type-0 and money for emergencies or for walking down the street to shop at a food mart and a restaurant. Holly was annoyed and kept... Continue»
Margarete Klier Teil 1 -
Verführung einer ahnungslosen Unbekannten und das Abrichten zur Internetsklavin
Wir hatten uns im Internet kennen gelernt. Oft haben wir uns durch schreiben, unsere fantasievollen Gedanken ausgetauscht.
Du wurdest immer neugieriger auf dem was ich Dir so erzählte.
An einem Abend hast Du geschrieben, es einmal selbst zu erleben und dass Du Lust hättest Dich einmal zu treffen. Gesagt getan.
Wir vereinbarten uns einen Zeitpunkt und wir trafen uns bei mir zu Hause.
Zur Sicherheit hatten wir uns ein Wort ausgemacht, um in bestimmten Situationen dem Anderen klar zu ... Continue»
1. This almost true story happened long ago before a lot of you were even born. I was in high school, and I was one of the slow k**s and always had been. I don't know what it was, if I was just stupid or not applying myself or what. From an early age I wanted to work for the highway department and that's what I ended up doing when school was over. Everyone called me and still calls me highway.
2. I guess because I was one of the slow k**s I never got into girls much at all. I mean I thought they were pretty and smelled good but I never got horny or kissed or ran around trying to fuck the... Continue»
My Surprise Birthday Treat at the Stables Pt 2 – Two Weeks Later.
I’ve been asked by several Xhamster readers what happens next. So here it is. Enjoy.
To know the characters you will have to read ‘My Surprise Birthday Treat at the Stables’. I’m Jack, my wife Sam has two stable girls and I was lucky enough to enjoy them on my birthday. Mary didn’t get pregnant so I expect I shall get to fuck her again. Hopefully Kumi will join us. S.he has the tightest non-virgin pussy I’ve ever had the good fortune to enter.
Sam has teased me daily since my birthday on how well I managed to please t... Continue»
We are an “ah hoc” team thrown together for this development project. I am Robbie, and I am a contract engineer specializing in electronic sensors. There is our resident geek, Markie who handles the electronics end of things. Mr. Cho stops by from time to time as he is the representative of the company who actually manufactures the product. Marlene, the designer is in charge of making sure that everything is tasteful and attractive. And there is “J” who is our intern and general good sport about things.
What is that we are developing? Well, I thought it was a tasteless joke when I was told ... Continue»
My Surprise Birthday Treat at the Stables
I’m Jack and on my 40th birthday my wife Sam went to the stables as usual. Not even a Birthday ‘playing with’ or even a kiss. So I plan to ravish her upon her return regardless of her wishes. I reframe from watching Xhamster vids and pleasuring myself so I can deposit a full load into my wife’s welcoming pussy. After a leisurely shower and a birthday fry up, I am set for the day ahead.
9.30 I receive a text that says ‘burst pipe please come immediately and bring your toolbox’. Shit! That’s buggered my day! Throwing my tool box in the truck I was... Continue»
This is the first part of my second novel. See my profile for details.
I: THE METAMORPHOSIS
My name is Shawna. At least, according to my driver’s license it is. I used to be Shawn Milner, a relatively successful businessman with a bit of a drinking habit. I had lived as Shawn for twenty-seven very satisfied years, taking what I wanted from life and giving it my charming company in return. Even when that company was unwanted.
I was handsome, bold, strong… I really had it all. Not that I didn’t work hard at some of it; it takes more than wishful thinking and good genes to earn a squa... Continue»
THEADVENTURES OF HARRY CHAPTER SIX
You’d think I could get the chapter headings consistent and then of course there is the out order issue. Maybe someday I’ll go back and rearrange them. But I digress. It’s time we met Barbara.
I mentioned before that we worked for the same company but in different departments. We met when my group decided to go out for happy hour one Friday. Someone knew people in sales and invited them. Barbara was in sales and she came along. We hit it off pretty well, but made no plans or anything like that. I had a steady girl at the time and her status wasn’t discussed... Continue»
Early summer, I clot from everyday life and I realized that is Saturday morning that I have no obligations.
Oops I'm thinking, I will go to the sea. I make a couple of phone calls to some girlfriends, but naught.
Checking forecast, fickle weather.
Fuck the weather I say, I am loading the necessaries for a nudist beach with free camping and I depart.
Noon'm there. Loaded tents, mattresses, food, etc., descend the cliff of about 150 meters to get to the shore and ... there I am.
On another planet, the secluded beach with woods behind, right and left large rocks in front of me the light blue... Continue»
They are kind of rare these days but this was an actual cocktail party given by the professional association to which I belong. So being work related I had no choice but to be there. This one was easy as it was held in a restaurant’s bar and I was going to meet friends afterward.
I was standing in line waiting to get a drink when a very lovely woman got in line behind me. When I looked to see who it was thinking perhaps it might be a colleague, she gave me a welcoming smile so I said, “Can I buy you a drink?
” “Well since they are courtesy of the association I guess you can!” she ... Continue»