Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 79
Sunny Brown’s wife Valerie, a hospital senior dietician, had gone to Sydney for an advanced hospital nutrition and food services management course for a month and Sunny's missing her and missing connecting with her vagina. Equally distressing he was missing her superior cooking compared to his best endeavours and generally most restaurant meals he’d had didn’t measure up either.
But he survived without complaint and cooked some of his dinners, mainly sticking with chicken fried rice or mince on toast or a roast. Two bright spots were invitations on week one and week two from two friends, we... Continue»
Kelly Pimps Out Chrissie (a Chrissie Conway story)
When I think back on all the years that I spent almost every day with Kelly I can't help but think that she
just may be a big part of the reason I'm a high paid "tranny whore" today. Kelly never missed on opportunity to
"pimp me out" whenever she got the chance, especially if it would benefit her in some way. Today Kelly is a
detective with the County Sheriff's Department. Going from a lesbian "pimp" to a lesbian cop just may be one of
the stranger lifestyle changes you'll see. OK so she wasn't a real '"Superfly" pimp or Manhat... Continue»
On the Friday of Faye's third week of absence from the lab, our boss sent me round to check on her. There's only so long you can play the "bit of a bug" card before it becomes taking the piss.
When I rang her bell and waited, I didn't think she was going to answer. It even crossed my mind that she might have bagged a sneaky last-minute flight to somewhere decidedly warmer than dreary old Scotland and had been phoning in her "still not better, I'm afraids" from a poolside somewhere gloriously hot. If I hadn't already been pissed off at her for making me cover her workload, that thought pushe... Continue»
This is Ian, and I have an interesting experience to share:
I was inside the Rio Casino in Vegas two days ago at around 1 am, wearing one of my numerous kilts as usual. Now.....
A group of 6 or 7 drop-dead gorgeous Asian girls were walking toward me, noticed my kilt, started exclaiming (something or other), and when they got to me, started taking turns lifting my kilt! Well, I let them do this for a few minutes, then it hit me: There's cameras in these casinos! So regrettably, I shooed them away. Well, a couple guys were watching the whole scene, and afterward, they came up to ... Continue»
In october 2008 I had just got out of jail after about six months,and was released on probation.I obviously was in hunt mode for some tail after being stuck with a bunch of dudes in limbo waitng to get out,Sigh...So anyhow i was out for about two weeks and my buddy dustin asked me if i wanted to go up to mt lemmon here in tucson to this girl mollies cabin that she was house sitting with him,my boy trevor and dustin's cousin derick."I'm like hell yeah a cabin in the woods(I love mt lemmon and would've been happy jus going up there)with girls and drinks"So we end up meeting up with this girl del... Continue»
lilbigal 2 minutes ago.
She is a 22 years old single, bisexual female
I was at this club the other night and I noticed this guy staring at me. He was very cute but with another girl. Everytime she wasn't looking at him he would look over at me and give me the lets fuck look. I was sitting at a table where he could see me spreading and then closing my legs wide for him. I love teasing guys and girls. When his gf got up to go do something he looked over and I spread my legs and ran my middle finger up and down a few times on my blue jeaned slit, and then licked my f... Continue»
This incident happened with me on my journey from New Delhi to Mumbai via Rajdhani Express 2 months back,I was travelling alone by IInd A/c and it was just 5 minutes for the train to leave and still in my cabin (which had 3 other seats vaccant) no other passenger had come and i had almost thought that I would be all alone in the cabin till Mumbai and got engrossed in reading a magazine and just as the train was to depart a sweet voice called out her seat number and was trying to locate it by inquiring from the attendant present in the coach, lucky me it was in my cabin and i did become a littl... Continue»
I am a 61 year old man living in Florida who has always been healthy and rarely ever sees a doctor. However, about 6 months ago I had an auto accident that caused an injury to my neck. After my surgery, part of my recovery included physical therapy and massage therapy. I found a good physical ther****t and worked out diligently 3 times per week. After a week of working out and feeling a bit tight I remembered the massage script and checked the phone book and one ad caught my eye. There was a ther****t not even 5 miles from my home so I called and made my first massage appointment. However, the... Continue»
That happened to me when I studied at the University. I didn’t live with my parents because in this city we didn’t have a house or some relatives or even friends. I was late to get my name on the list to the college hostel, so I had to rent accommodation just a few blocks from the campus. There were 2 of us, 2 girls who rented one apartment, because it was a bit cheaper for us both to share accommodation fees.
I walked in to the apartment I shared with another girl named Lucy. It was late Friday night. I had been in the library, preparing for my exams on the next Monday. The living room was i... Continue»
This is not exaggeration, this is based on my story of 1993. I feel
ashamed, cause she my cousin s****r. I shouldn't have done this to
her. I am from South Tamil Nadu.
It was in my semester vacation of my first year, and she was studying
Ninth Std. It all started from this point, in the night before my
s****r's marriage, she looked as if an angel. She is a medium
complexion, but...but really beautiful mean it. She was wearing silk
blow and the bottom (pattu pavadai). I was instructed to look after
the k**s who were playing on the Marriage's hall terrace. I saw my
cousin s****r playing... Continue»
Nicole stared out the window, her smiling reflection staring back. The Sun had just gone behind the buildings, but had not yet set. That wouldn't be for another hour. The anticipation for the evening had been growing in her for almost a week, when she found out that the bistro would be hosting a very private party, and that she had been specifically requested to serve the party. The guests would be arriving soon.
The table that had been requested was a small two-top near the centre of the small 15 table room. Nicole wondered why one of the more private booths near the rear of the bistro had... Continue»
The idea of Soul Mates started with Greek Philosopher Plato. He proposed that long ago Humans were giants with two heads, four arms and four legs. But Zeus King of the Gods feared their power and split everyone apart. It is that drive to complete ourselves that fuels the search for the Soul Mate.
I was never one to believe in such nonsense, then I met Erin. There was just something about her that resonated with me. Where most people could see her tough angry shell I saw the scared and vulnerable girl within.
And so it was that a Month later I announced my epic plan.
"I'm gonna make... Continue»
I told you of a bet my wife and I made a while back and she won that one. Well I got her on another bet that I won. She was a gracious looser and said what do you have in mind? I said well I am feeling kinky tonight and I'll think of something, but while I am you go get showered and shave your pussy and ass hole bald. ( she keeps them shaved anyway ). She was off to the shower. I went in our room and started digging for something for her to wear. Since it was a warm evening I picked out her gray Elizabeth and James Mara tank dress , it comes about seven inches above her knee. no bra and her bl... Continue»
It happened a long time ago when I was studying in university. I was a freshman there in the university. I had my first ever row of exams I was really freaked out to take. I had only a few days to prepare for my exams and I hadn’t had anything in my empty head. I didn’t study any of the English and I had to do that exam in order to pass to the next semester.
Professor told me to come and see her on January, 3rd. I had no time to prepare for the exam because there was too much partying and I was still a bit hangover. I had no desire to prepare myself but I still had to go and at least show up.... Continue»
Introduction: This one's pretty long, but in my opinion its well worth the read once you get to the end.
Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "Cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of Cybersex. Then again, maybe he does....
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high h... Continue»
Introduction: As always your comments, ratings, and jokes are greatly appreciated
It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men, beer and pussy...
A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Pussy does not.
If you get a hair in your teeth
consuming pussy,... Continue»
Introduction: Quick little jokes/comebacks.
As confused as a infant in a titty bar.
As confused as a blind lesbian in a fish market.
Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Q. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?
A. A navel.
Q. What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
A. You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won't call you a week later.
Q. Why did god create Adam before he created eve?
A. Because he didn't want anyone tellin... Continue»
Introduction: A joke for the ppl who never heard it before.
Bob works hard and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Bob! How ya doin?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Bob. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How... Continue»
One evening, Mike went over to his friend's house to play cards with Terry and some other friends. Mike sat directly across from Terry's wife Susan.
When Mike dropped a playing card on the floor and bent down to pick it up, he looked across underneath the table and saw that Terry's wife had her legs wide open with no panties on. Mike then sat up and tried hiding the fact that he was flushed.
When Mike went into the kitchen to get a drink of water, to his surprise, Susan had followed him into the kitchen and said in a sultry voice, "Did you like what you saw?"
Mike replied with enthusi... Continue»
I'm sure that upon reading this, you'll nod your head in agreement as you will all have experienced most, if not all of the scenarios listed. If you haven't you need more fiber.....
The Perfect Dump
Every once in a while everyone experiences the perfect dump. It's rare but a real thing of beauty. You sit down expecting the worse, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fart-less masterpiece that breaks the water with the splash-less grace of an Olympic high-diving champion. You use the toilet tissue to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right in the world a... Continue»