Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 69

In Hell 6

Jennie awoke some time later and instinctively sought the toilet. She did so in the dark, without feeling the need to reminisce the night before. Why bother? It was a bit sparkly and spacious for her usual fare.
"Hehhehheh, I scored us a pretty sweet room." She proudly chuckled, smiling from ear to ear. "Must have been on fire yesterday."
Of particular interest.was the window, which showed a soothing white landscape. A white, silent night, with slow but steady snowfall covering the dirty cities with purity itself. The kind of night that soothes the soul and heralds Christmas. Jennie couldn't... Continue»
Posted by lady-jen 1 month ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  

What the Hell

Well Came home from work early the other day and caught my bitch cheating for the second time.. And this time with her Uncle.. No shit well he was married to her aunt at one time no bl**d there but still nasty as fuck if you ask me.. But thru it all I kept a level head cause we have a 1yr girl together...and Was not about to ruin me being in her life because her mother is a stupid whore.. My first thought was to snap and kill them to be honest.. But That would serve no purpose.. I instead did the right thing and was very polite and killed them with kindness.. They did me a favoe if tyou ask me... Continue»
Posted by steven6977 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Excited wet dream.

I went to see my male physiologist to talk about the wet dream I were having. Here, how I had explained the dream: 'I was playing a role as a sexy housewife to my husband, wearing nothing underneath my bathrobe. I’ve just finish taking a hot bubble bath, my pussy was still soaking and wet, and, my husband is lying on the bed watching TV with his dick stand out of his underpants. I took off my bathrobe, walk over to my husband, begin to suck on his hard rock dick, I suck his dick like a lollipop; I can feel his dickhead going toward my deep throat. Slurping, and licking on his dick nice and fas... Continue»
Posted by Darkpussy 5 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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atlantic city sex show

i was born in new jersey, grown up in new jersey and never ever ever left new jersey. why you ask. don't drive and no one drive me. trenton is where i am and will be always. at 67 old i want go to atlantic city. my landlord say's dudley, you want to go for ride to casinos and i want. so it happened. he drive and i so happy and tell him i got no money. he know because he get my disability check for rent. he say dudley, no worry, i help you but you have to pay back. i say i no want gamble, i want pussy. after long drive in middle i got go pp. we stop and i go pee. then i hungry and want burger a... Continue»
Posted by Dudley_Flem_Fartner 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Supersex with co- worker

One Friday after work, we were all from the office and had a single beer. As people disappeared, only Suzanne and me back.

My name is Torben and late thirties and Susan are a couple of years younger. We are both married and have c***dren, but there has always been a little electricity between us.

It has never translated into anything, but as we got a few beers, I could see that Suzanne became more and more unrestrained.

At one point she comes little dancing over to me and lose completely random balance, so she has to sit on my lap. I put my arms around her waist and hold on tight so s... Continue»
Posted by Rumleskaft1984 5 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  

The Affairs

Introduction: not so sexy

> The 1st Affair
> A married man was having an affair
> with his secretary.
> One day they went to her place
> and made love all afternoon.
> Exhausted, they fell asl**p
> and woke up at 8 PM ..
> The man hurriedly dressed
> and told his lover to take his shoes
> outside and rub! them in the grass and dirt.
> He put on his shoes and drove home.
> "Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
> "I can't lie to you," he replied,
> "I'm having an affair with my secretary.
> We had sex all afternoon."
> She looked down at his shoes and said:
> ... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Put Your Muffin Where Your Mouth is, Mandy

Put Your Muffin Where Your Mouth is, Mandy
Written by irish4skin
Mandy Muffin as herself
Josephine James as herself T-Girl Candy Surprise as herself
MILF Delilah as Linda Herrin T-Girl Carla Novaes as herself
Corina Curves as Dr. Carolyn Dick T-Girl Elisangel as herself
Donita Dunes as herself Sasha Grey as herself
T-Girl Adriana Rodriguez as Salina T-Girl Mariana Cordoba as Sama... Continue»
Posted by icemanrisen 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  

Camp Dsvid

Camp David

I met him on a train. I was working on my laptop, and he walked past. He was incredibly fashionable and everything he had on looked like it had come out of the pack moments before. He had rather a sharp nose which was the only masculine thing that stood out. stood out through his hair. He wore very tight narrow legged black trousers, very highly polished pointy shoes, and a short tweed coat with sleeves so narrow you would have to have pipe cleaner arms to get it on. The coat was open at the neck, exposing a bright green/blue jumper, and beneath that a bare and hairless ... Continue»
Posted by lyn_hornygirl 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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b*****r of my late grandfather had a house at the seaside. I’ve bee spending free summer vacations there since I was k**. He and his wife were retired and had a nice house in a quiet neighborhood of the town. I would spend whole day at he beach, hanging with local k**s and exploring the nature and landscapes.
I was having another beautiful month of a summer holydays there. Unfortunately, my grandmother (wife of my grandfather’s b*****r; I called them ’grandpa’ and ’grandma’) started to have a hard time with her rheumatism and arthritis, so her daughter found her a parlormaid. The maid was ki... Continue»
Posted by JohnDough11111 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  

Temp Job (You'll like's the best

Temp job as limo driver has definite benefits...a celebrity story...

Temp Job (You'll like's the best)

I have a confession to make. They say confession is good for the soul, so here I am. Now that I am this hot sex fantasy writer on this sex fantasy website, people have been expecting me to keep coming up with hot stories. But the truth of the matter is, my sex life has not really been all that exciting. If I had to write the Kama Sutra it would only be one page. In 48 years on the planet, I really have not had that many exciting sexual experiences. I already told y... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 5 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor  |  
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College seems GREAT!

So it goes like this, I was in my gf's s****rs house. Shes a college student and so shares it with three other girls. Well it was one night upon which we decided to vist her and go out with them all. We were told to use her s****rs room to change and so we did, my gf showered first and as she did, I started being nosey and looking through her s****rs things, but guess what, I found nothing worth noting (was looking to see if she had a dildo etc....) This was shocking as I presumed she would have had one, suddenly I heard my gf coming across the landing floor so i jumped onto the bed and lay do... Continue»
Posted by aaronlikesit 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  

Lady Luck - A Somewhat True Story

Couldn't believe my luck tonight....after a long day of masturbating, and flirting or sexting with random women on either Facebook, xHamster, or Yahoo, I went to my local liquor store to pick up some rum and Coke at 10 o'clock's in a strip mall, and as I was winding my way through the convoluted parking lot to get to the liquor store at the end of the complex, I passed a petite white girl, looked to be in her mid-20's. It's cold here this time of year, so I couldn't see a whole lot of her figure, but I could tell she had some curves under her peacoat and faded jeans. I only caugh... Continue»
Posted by femalesonly 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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The Layover

Stephen Brooks, a rather average sort of fella on the wrong side of 30 slowly opened the door of his Towncar and ducked out into the muggy afternoon air of Dallas Texas. Before him was the Airport and annoyingly beyond that a five hour plane flight back to New York.

As he grabbed his bags from the trunk it dawned on him that he had in all likelihood spent more time in the air in the past month then birds do in their entire lives.
Stephen was in Dallas overseeing the construction of a new Distribution hub for his Company and at the end of the week would fly back home to New York to give in... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  

The Anniversary

Nicole stared out the window, her smiling reflection staring back. The Sun had just gone behind the buildings, but had not yet set. That wouldn't be for another hour. The anticipation for the evening had been growing in her for almost a week, when she found out that the bistro would be hosting a very private party, and that she had been specifically requested to serve the party. The guests would be arriving soon.

The table that had been requested was a small two-top near the centre of the small 15 table room. Nicole wondered why one of the more private booths near the rear of the bistro had... Continue»
Posted by mustbtuesday 4 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Dennis The Menace: - Alice, The Mardi Gras Gang-b

Dennis The Menace: - Alice, The Mardi Gras Gang-bang Whore
by Sniper32

At a collage in California, three sorority s****rs were sitting around in
there bedroom talking. "Finals are done, so where are we going to go for
Spring Break this year?" Blondie asked.

"Well there's Tijuana or Cancun" Rita said.

"How about skiing in Aspen, that would be fun, or we could go to Ft.
Lauderdale, but that's a pretty wild place" Alice said shyly.

"We've been to Tijuana dozens of times, Cancun was fun until we drank the
water and all got sick, and Ft. Lauderdale was a blast last year, but ... Continue»
Posted by sniper32 4 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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I bet he won't do this again

lilbigal 2 minutes ago.


She is a 22 years old single, bisexual female

I was at this club the other night and I noticed this guy staring at me. He was very cute but with another girl. Everytime she wasn't looking at him he would look over at me and give me the lets fuck look. I was sitting at a table where he could see me spreading and then closing my legs wide for him. I love teasing guys and girls. When his gf got up to go do something he looked over and I spread my legs and ran my middle finger up and down a few times on my blue jeaned slit, and then licked my f... Continue»
Posted by lilbigal 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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the funniest conversation during sex ever

ok backround i was in a car with this guy in high school. his name was ryan. we were 17 he was like 5'4" or somthing (he was short) cute like irish/itailian boy.
red hair freckles goofy smile thick cock. any way he just came after like 2 minutes and we were talking. he was still in me lying on top of me.

him: "fuck.... im so sorry but you cant blame me the blowjob eirlier got me really... ready."

me: "yeah i guess but really like two minutes." i said sadly

him: "im sorry can we do this again sometime though"

me: "well you still have the condom on, and ur still hard and in me. can'... Continue»
Posted by Michele1234 4 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Penile implant sex

This is a true story

I hope that men with erectile dysfunction take this information to heart.
Well let me start by saying I'm a 44 year old man that's been dealing with the fallout of a couple heart attacks and as a aside effect of my various medications that I'm on my Dick at first would work but I noticed that I could fuck for as long as I used to before my heart issues. I tried the pills, the pump, the muse system, all with no solid maintainable erection, so things with my wife were starting to get strained, and my confidence was shot. I told my doctor about my home issues with the wif... Continue»
Posted by Taboo69 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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More Confessions of the Locker Room

With my sky blue sports bag in hand, I travelled to my football team's training ground. I made sure to arrive just before half 8 in the morning, ready for our 9am departure time to take on our next opponents in a crucial league game. As I walked, I kept thinking about what had happened between me and Hannah in the showers yesterday evening. I was a little nervous about what we'll say when we see

I walked through the small iron gates and headed into the lunchroom where most of my
teammates were sat about, talking and joking.

"Hey Sam." Hannah called, sitting on top of the... Continue»
Posted by LittleMissFart 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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first online hookup (crazy fun)

As I log on to my social network of choice, I put down my bottle of cola for a moment to input the password. As the page loads up I taste the sugary drink. In the corner of the screen there is 1 new friend request. "Maria" 20.

I remember working with Maria a few years before that, she was about 3 years younger then me but she was pretty open about what she wanted, even when she was 15. I accept, thinking to myself "worth a shot now".

A few moments later an IM bubble pops up " hey stranger, how you doing ? :)". Great I responded. Over the next hour or so we ... Continue»
Posted by thekp 6 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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