Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 2

a night away

I was on secondment to a local authority for 12 months and the team I was working with had a conference someone had to attend providing a promotion stand. For various reasons none of the permanent staff were able to attend as it meant an overnight stay, so Sarah my boss and I were the delegates.

We arrived at the hotel late afternoon, went to our rooms to clean up and agreed to meet in the bar for a pre-dinner drink.

Showered & changed, at about 5, I wandered down, Sarah arrived only a couple of minutes later.
“I feel better for getting the days grime off” she declared, as she sat down.... Continue»
Posted by qudduse 20 days ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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New UPS Man

As usual Calvin our UPS man made his last delivery of the day to the Doctors office I worked at. Actually, it was two deliveries, a package for the doctor and about an ounce of semen for me. I have been fucking Calvin for months now. As a previously sex starved forty-three year old divorcee I was one happy MILF. As Calvin left he said “I got bad news for you baby, my route has been changed, but you’ll like this new k** “Arnold”.

Well Wednesday came and we were scheduled for a “late delivery”. The UPS truck pulled up and I looked at the driver when he got out of the cab and thought Oh my God... Continue»
Posted by captjim51 22 days ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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At work

So I was at work the other day,My boring office job.We all had to stay after an extra 30 minutes.I was to make up for this error one of the three much higher ups had made the week before.So while everyone was obviously upset as was I we stayed late to clear up their mistake.

I was quickly appointed rush down to storage and fetch one of the storage files.It was a wild shot that the box,If it even was down there,Would contain this folder.(It didn't) .So I took the elevator down and began what I already knew to be a wild goose chase.The storage room was just shelves of boxes and was under gr... Continue»
Posted by NikkiBell 23 days ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Handjob only on first date

I thought I'd recount an amusing story from my first 'hook up' my freshman year of college in 1995. I met a nice and very cute red-headed girl named Erin in my dorm. Sure enough one night after smoking a good amount of marijuana out of her bong we started making out. Kissing Erin was very nice and happily our respective shirts (and her bra) came off rather quickly. I rubbed her pussy over her jeans. It was steamy and she didn't object. She got a little skittish when I tried to slide my finger down her pants. "Woah, easy tiger," was her witty old-fashioned defense. Of course I complied,... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 23 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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138. A favour for Misty

138. A favour for Misty
She is 70 now stands 5feet 7” has a body well overweight, a pretty face, nice personality, fantastic cook and a caring wonderful mum. A neighbour of mine for some years and a good one at that, she was never the sort of soul that a man had fantasies about being not what a chap would call attractive. However in view of the sexual desert in my house this last year, I must admit to feelings of any port in a storm and even the old bird on the school crossing get`s a second look with me of late.
She had been a widow for some years, the love of her life having passed ... Continue»
Posted by alibodge 26 days ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Glamour model has her tits felt by security guys

The true story here was sent to me by a friend about British glamour model Susanna Francessca.

“I wanted some nice pictures of Susanna getting naked, but not just in her studio. We agreed to go to a multi-story car park early one Sunday morning, when it would be quiet. We got there, in my car, at about 9am and noticed that there were two security guards in the cabin at the entrance to the place. They didn’t even glance at us as we drove in. There were a few cars on the lower floors, so I drove us up to the seventh floor, where I thought we wouldn’t be disturbed. Susanna changed into the bla... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 26 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  

My Regular Masseuse, Shi Shi

I could tell pretty quickly after the flip during the table shower, that this massage girl was going to be my regular. Those dainty yet curiously strong Asian fingers soaping up every inch of my body, always a treat, but a given. Trick is seeming to be into in. Shi Shi, seemed into it. She really made me believe that she wanted to coax my cock to it's hardest with that slippery grip. Any playfulness, let alone teasing, not a given. Other girl's table shower techniques can be mechanical, just washing off the stink and checking for active herpes. Most girls soap up and quickly rinse the butt cra... Continue»
Posted by Frank-o 29 days ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  

Dive Bar Dorita

Years ago I frequented a dive go go bar called the Ironbound. In the Portuguese and Brazilian part of Newark. This was kind of the last stop for these girls on the way to the go go retirement home. Some of these girls may be pushing 60, but most of them, despite the mileage still have killer tits and asses. They dance twenty minuets or so then get twenty or so off. During the off time, if you buy them a drink they'll sit with you, tip them singles for gropes, or for a twenty they'll jerk you off right there at the bar.

The first time I experienced that was with a Dominican MILF named Ellie... Continue»
Posted by Frank-o 29 days ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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A model shows more than she intended to.

This is a true story sent to me about a photo-shoot with model Susanna Francessca that someone called George did, along with Jake, a friend of his. He sent this to me and it’s a lovely, sexy story.

“I’d found an advert for Susanna Francessca and her studio in the back of a photography magazine, Practical Photography, I think. Her studio was in Warwick (UK), not too far away. The problem was that I’d been banned from driving, so I had to ask a friend, Jake, to drive me there. I phoned Susanna and made a booking for a few days later, for her to pose men’s magazine style. That’s where a girl w... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 1 month ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  

horny and itching to make you wet

Apologies for the long wait for a new post - a combination of a very busy week followed by a grubby dose of flu. You'll be pleased to hear that Paris resumes with Chapter Two in the next post (prepare yourself for delightful fun between myself, the delicious girl on the train, and my new maid, the story spread, as ever, across a few shorter segments - I think you'll like it ;)

For now, however - lay back on the bed and relax - you've been patient and waited for me all this time, and I think you deserve a little special attention...

I look at you laying on the bed, naked, soft, already ar... Continue»
Posted by hornydevil86 1 month ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  

COACH LAURIE (Femdom, CFNM, etc)

Shrieks of feminine laughter and excitement emanated from the girl's locker rooms as the six male pledges ran through them wearing only their jockstraps and a mask covering their faces.

Nick (wearing a classic Nixon mask) was trailing behind the other pledges and, being self-conscious about his nudity (especially with his obvious speedo tan lines – he was on the swim team), just wanted this day to be over.

No such luck.

Looking back to make sure no one was chasing him, Nick turned and was face to face (or rather face-to-breasts) with Coach Laurie.

Coach Laurie was an imposing figur... Continue»
Posted by Dracon6217 1 month ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Queen Shagger

Right after university I found it difficult to get work in my chosen field without having significant work experience - the classic graduate Catch-22. I returned to my home town, and found myself with a big student overdraft to pay off and ended up working two jobs, one a crappy full time admin job and a weekend evenings job doing bar work in the local nightclub/meatmarket. After a while, the crappy data entry job - sitting at an office desk typing handwritten credit card applications into a computer from nine to five along with a couple of hundred drones doing exactly the same thing as me, ov... Continue»
Posted by mkmcr85 1 month ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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The Dating Game – Part 3 – The art of teasing a wo

Hey, y`all, what`s up?... :)
It`s been a long time since I last wrote y`all something about the Game, so… here it is, another blog post about the topic, which means one step forward for you to start learning how to approach and date women the right way.

This time, we`ll cut straight to the chase, I mean, no more introductory, bla bla stuff. ;)

In one of my last blog posts I`ve been recommending you to meet and hang, as much as possible, around the right people, which consists of, among others, the guys that are already successful with women. Naturals, if possible. I wrote more about thi... Continue»
Posted by roadrigusantus 1 month ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  

The Start of It

The events in this story are partly true. Descriptions of the places and even some of the girls are certainly accurate, which is why there are no names. I have exaggerated some events and others are pure fantasy. I will leave it you your imagination to work out which parts of the story are which, but hope you enjoy all parts the same.....

I went to a large, English public school (which for the non-English means a fee paying private school, the differences between Private and Public schools in England are subtle and varied, but all the better schools are called Public schools). There were ... Continue»
Posted by mallenwc 1 month ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Blowing And A Blowjob

I belong to a Wednesday night mixed bowling league of both women and men most of who are over fifty. Being 63, I am one of the “old guys” in the league. Well one of my team mates broke his leg and volunteered to have his s****r Renee be a substitute. The first night I met Renee she did really well (185) and shouted after the tenth frame “fuck yea, way to go girl”. The next game she had a few bad frames which was always followed by a “fuck man, I suck bigtime” or “fuck me man”. She was pretty tough and a little raunchy which I liked in a woman.

After bowling we had a few drinks at the bar... Continue»
Posted by captjim51 1 month ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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I Became a b**st to My Maid (SG)

As I walked into the maid agency, I noticed immediately a group of about six to seven Filipinos sitting together talking to each other. I was there to pick up my maid, which the agency had arranged for me. My wife had recently given birth. As with most Singaporean families, that meant getting a maid to see to the housework as well as take care of the baby because most of us could not do without the additional income that the wife can bring home.

I scanned the faces of the future maids and could not see any worth bonking. Well, they were here to serve as domestic help and not to serve the ne... Continue»
Posted by Labouroflove 1 month ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  
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Woman Finding out how she tasted

When I was a second semester freshman in college I got lucky at a fraternity party. I met this other freshman gal named Carrie. Carrie was a cute BBW with chestnut brown hair. We danced (if you could call it that). Back in '96, we called it "bump 'n grind." We started kissing on the dance floor and Carrie came back to my dorm room. I had already popped my BBW cherry first semester with a gal named Angie. So I knew I liked their figures and that I could have a lot of fun with them.

Carrie was no exception! I remember we did a lot more kissing on my bed before we disrobed. She seem... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 1 month ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Projects (2)

This is part 2. Please read previous parts first.

Brigitte grabs my hand and whispers in my ear.

“Your team is really attached to you. Georgina tries to hook us up.”

“And she is not very subtle about it. And by the way: she is just my colleague but she seems to be YOUR friend. So surely that makes you more responsible than me”.

“Ah! You are trying to pay me back now”. She laughs. “Shall we play along?” She looked at the dance floor where a few people have already started throwing shapes.

We joined in and started to move to the music. The longer we danced the more ridicu... Continue»
Posted by grgmatk 1 month ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  

Don’t read no sex in here!

The day began slow and early for me lots of unimportant deadlines to get done, and it was on auto drive mode, in set time frames of 10.00am then 11.45am nearly lunch time. Hopefully I can finish by 12.00PM and relax till 3.00pm when the US wakes up to spur me on for another onslaught.
I sat quietly at ST. Pauls looking over the common grass areas where a daily ritual of drone workers sat with rolled up skirts or trousers to get some well deserved vitamin C for pale skin. My Espresso arrives in the tiniest cup which makes the coffee stronger to my liking. I sat thinking GOD its Friday will th... Continue»
Posted by unseen69 1 month ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  

The Audition

The Agency

Julie Taylor was not normally a shy girl, nor for
that matter a timid girl in any sense of the word. At
nineteen she had lost her school-girlish outlook on
the world and those about her, as long as she was mix-
ing with her own age group.

When a perfectly normal, healthy girl as attractive
as Julie looks at an older person...well, she couldn't
help thinking that anyone over thirty is middle-aged,
and over thirty-five they must be well past it!

It was perhaps this normal attitude towards older
folk that made her just a little tremulous
... Continue»
Posted by Enteme 1 month ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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