Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 11

First Date

She was 35 and I was 42 but we were both in very good shape. Actually, she was beyond that term, way beyond. She had one of those naturally toned figures where every part is balanced just right. She was in the absolute prime of her life, that window of age some women attain when they reach a maturity that’s truly a perfection of human femininity. You don’t encounter such a woman very often, one that is not otherwise totally engaged. But when you do, you take notice because the feeling she embodies rushes at you and through you. It stops you in your tracks.
It is even more powerful ... Continue»
Posted by richardstands 8 months ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  

Some fucking little things about me

Let me fucking talk a little bit about me:

I am a young stud thinking about fuck all the time. I live among very beautiful hot fucking women, so I am surronded by them all day fucking long. I am good looking and I usually get a lot of attention from females. I keep getting approached by all kinds of women just for satifying each other`s fuck needs, like I am some kind of fem fuck toy, a fucking living vibrator. I sometimes feel like fucking hate women for that, they don`t think I fucking can do better than that, that`s why I like to fuck them, make them love my fuck, then fucking abandon th... Continue»
Posted by Mrsircumalot 8 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  

The day it rained

So, we'd been wed for more than a week now..the love was blossoming but we had not managed to get our inhibitions out of the way and get down to business if you know what I mean. Mr P and I had met online, and after a 5 month long-distance relationship I fell for his dry sense of humor and sexy deep voice. I am an attractive woman and my ladies are a 36 C and I haven't ever shied away from showing off my cleavage and watching men stare ;) ..
House was full of relatives post wedding meant we had not managed to get anywhere apart from me staring at his hard manhood poking through his jammies a... Continue»
Posted by p_wangdu 8 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  

Hypnotic goings on.

Life in the military can be quite boring at times so I got a book form the library entitled 'Teach Yourself Hypnotism' seemed a fun way to pass the time. Thinking it would be a waste of time I soon discovered that I could hypnotise some of my friends into doing things they would not normally contemplate, this caused much amusement in the barracks at night time. Eventually the novelty wore off and I didn't do it for a long time. Life was boring but about to change drastically, the Army was changing and we were about to have one of the first female Officers to command our Troop, some of the g... Continue»
Posted by Sapper0129 8 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  

Teachers Pet.

It was a young 15 year old lads dream come true, we had a new teacher, Miss Newton my raving hormones told me she was the best looking woman in the world, tall, blonde, slim figure, nice tits and if I knew what a good fuck was I'd have given her one.

I wasn't the brightest pupil in the class or the dumbest, somewhere in between, but I was guilty of daydreaming, I would often drift off into a world of my own for most of the lessons, even more so now we had a gorgeous teacher I could drift of with and think lewd thoughts about. God if she could have read my mind I'd never come out of prison,... Continue»
Posted by Sapper0129 8 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  

The Penis Wants a Raise

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labour.
I work at great depths.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends off or public holidays.
I work in a damp environment.
I don't get paid overtime.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.


Dear Penis:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work ... Continue»
Posted by XXXNoBounds 8 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  

Dr. Goo & the Dalicks

Dr. Goo had just picked up his companion Rosy Palm, a hot red head nympho from the planet Earth, and was operating the controls in his HARDIS, looking up from time to time to check her out. Rosy spoke up after taking in the awesome surrounding of the space ship they were flying in, “so, what exactly is this HARDIS?”
Dr. Goo said “it stands for Horny And Arousing Device for Interstellar Swinging.”
“So Cool, it’s bigger on the inside,” she giggled “almost like me, that night on earth after you rescued me from the Orgymen.”
“yes, that’s why I wanted to bring you along, your not like the o... Continue»
Posted by JimmyNJenny69 8 months ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
  |  2

Spray tanning

What This Spray Tanner REALLY Thinks of Her Clients
Amanda Adams, CPT

It was one of the best, yet saddest jobs I ever had.

In college, I worked at the only tanning salon in town. Confession: I loved it. However, there was one part of my job that I dreaded more than any other—giving spray tans. (But not for the reasons you might be thinking… keep reading. And if you've read this blog before, you need to read it again).

Since this was the only spray tanning place in town, I saw women of all ages, sizes, skin tones and height. ... Continue»
Posted by AndrewBonzua 8 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  

Horny men

Mike came in to my apartment yesterday afternoon looking pretty angry. When asked what his problem was, ‘his girl would not let him do her in the ass’ was the answer… I honestly laughed; this dude is 6’5-230lbs (I think, cause he is ripped) and his girl who is Spanish is about 5’2-160lbs (cute sexy chubby girl) and he can’t get her to take it in the ass, well after thinking about it, if he f***ed her that’s **** right there.

Mike sat down rubbing his crotch, “dude go relieve yourself in the bathroom if you need to” I said to him still smiling. “You don’t get it b*o… I came home horny as fu... Continue»
Posted by dlbiblkm 9 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
  |  6

My Prim and Proper Slut Queen

This story is for those who closet freaks that choose not to come out!! (And everyone else) ENJOY!!

I got invited to dinner at my girlfriend Adrienne parent's house one evening. I had met with them on our 1st official date several months back before when she was nothing more than a sweet, innocent 22 year old (yeah, right). Come to find out she was not as innocent as she tried to portray herself in public. Behind closed doors, she was a closet freak that loved sex, but also loved being in control. Adrienne always want sex on her terms. I would break her sometimes but it always ended with a ... Continue»
Posted by jucoxfer 9 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
  |  3

the freak n me

Hi I'm a freak ass man. that like to dress up in women pantie and play with my 2 dildo so one day I got on my computer and put a picture up in me in some sexy pantie and said LOOKING FOR SOME BIG DICK and as soon I post it I got 8 hits so I start to talk and telling the I need a the biggest dick on here so a white guy put up a picture of his dick and I was like WOW that big so I start to hook it up so I can have that he must b horny as me he give me his number so I can call him so I call him and give him the in for he needs so while I was waiting I did some couple line of coke and smoke some ... Continue»
Posted by SISAlando69 9 months ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
  |  2


I think ever since I can remember, I was the hopeless romantic. I would open doors, pull chairs, bring flowers, and offer my assistance if someone needed help. It seems like this art form is dying day by day right in front of our eyes. I can assure you, there is nothing romantic about what transpired in my first encounter that cold January night! I remember it like was yesterday, not in a good or bad way, just as one of the funniest sex stories I will write about of sexual encounters of my life. Hopefully if you guys like this one I will have many more to add to the list! I am a goof ball and ... Continue»
Posted by SANCHO----CLAUS 9 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
  |  1

Truths and Dares

How did I find myself here? Here being running down the side of the road completely naked. I suppose that is what happens when you mix some young adults with too much time and maybe too much alcohol. It was Memorial Day weekend, so naturally an excuse to have a party. It started off innocent enough, margaritas and hamburgers on the grill. The girls sunbathed in their bikinis while the menfolk prepared the fire cooked food. A few hours and six pitchers of margaritas later the sun was setting but things were only heating up for us. The five of us that were left were sitting around a fire pit mak... Continue»
Posted by rhyze 9 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
  |  1

Nakasanayang Pagta-talik

Nakasanayang Pagta-talik by:RIDGZ

Kagagaling lang ni Rina sa trabaho ng gabi na ng umuwi siya at marami siyang na download na porn sa laptop nya sa opisina kaya naman tig-libog ang pekpek nya ngayon. Agad niyang binuksan ang pinto at nakita nya na nagulat pa ang nakakadena pa ring si Josh. Dati itong janitor sa opisina na ngayon ay sex slave nya na.

Inalok nya ng malaking sahod ang macho at gwapong lalaki na hindi nito inakala na para maging sex slave pala. Maganda, maya... Continue»
Posted by ridgz 9 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  

My first black girl. Right place at the right time


I am going to tell you guys a little about myself! I grew up in a Catholic household! I am the SEVENTH SON of a big f****y! Big enough that we can play any sport out there and have replacements. I was a bright student growing up and always at the top of my class and that was the case until I got on involved with sports. To say that in my f****y we are super competitive is an understatement. I was the captain of our soccer team 3 years and 1 of the 4 captains in our football for 2 years. Sports were my life! They just came naturally! I also played baseball. I didn't tou... Continue»
Posted by SANCHO----CLAUS 9 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
  |  1

As wingman I had a better night than the dude for

Hey, how many of you have had similar experiences to this - you 'take one for the team' for your friend (guy or gal) and you end up having the far better session than your friend and the so-called better looking date. One occasion is still so vivid in my mind. I think it worked out this way because I would always have marathon hook-ups. 69 or fuck, rest, go again, and sometimes go for round three before the sun would come up. When I've taken one for the team, these women were no exception. In fact, it was more likely I'd cum 2-3 times in those situations.

This time I'm recollecting I was ... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 9 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
  |  3

Telling a Woman the Truth about her Vaginal Odor

When I was single and using aol to meet women I chatted with a self-proclaimed 'curvy' 24-year-old gal named Lisa. I didn't see any photo of her ahead of time (and this was before the days of built-in cameras/skyping) but she did tell me that she had red hair on top and on the bottom. I followed up by asking if she shaved or trimmed any of her pubic hair. Her response was music to my ears(or eyes since we were chatting): "No, but it's like in between strawberry blonde and red, so I always thought it was kind of pretty." Of course, anyone who knows me knows that I love pussy hair no matter ... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 9 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
  |  6

~HollyJully and Kookooakchu12's Cherry Poppin

Kooks was called to spend the night at Holly’s house, due to her Guardians are leaving her home alone for the weekend and believed to trust Kookoo to take care of her and respect their house rules. So he asked his older b*****r to drive him downtown to go to her house. After His b*****r dropped him off, Holly’s guardians came and hugged him and kissed him welcoming him to the home and explaining where the food is and where to hook up the PS4 to play Final Fantasy Type-0 and money for emergencies or for walking down the street to shop at a food mart and a restaurant. Holly was annoyed and kept... Continue»
Posted by Kookooakchu12 9 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
  |  5


Margarete Klier Teil 1 -
Verführung einer ahnungslosen Unbekannten und das Abrichten zur Internetsklavin

Wir hatten uns im Internet kennen gelernt. Oft haben wir uns durch schreiben, unsere fantasievollen Gedanken ausgetauscht.
Du wurdest immer neugieriger auf dem was ich Dir so erzählte.
An einem Abend hast Du geschrieben, es einmal selbst zu erleben und dass Du Lust hättest Dich einmal zu treffen. Gesagt getan.
Wir vereinbarten uns einen Zeitpunkt und wir trafen uns bei mir zu Hause.
Zur Sicherheit hatten wir uns ein Wort ausgemacht, um in bestimmten Situationen dem Anderen klar zu ... Continue»
Posted by heinz666666 9 months ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  

Mrs. Brooks

1. This almost true story happened long ago before a lot of you were even born. I was in high school, and I was one of the slow k**s and always had been. I don't know what it was, if I was just stupid or not applying myself or what. From an early age I wanted to work for the highway department and that's what I ended up doing when school was over. Everyone called me and still calls me highway.

2. I guess because I was one of the slow k**s I never got into girls much at all. I mean I thought they were pretty and smelled good but I never got horny or kissed or ran around trying to fuck the... Continue»
Posted by theduck1930 9 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
  |  4