Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 9
Hot Tub Time Machine: Beauty and the Butch
Starring: Racquel Darrian and Lily Cade
Lily lay in bed trying to sl**p. She tossed and turned restlessly, wearing only a pair of white briefs. The traffic outside her window was louder than usual. The freeway construction was making life pretty unbearable. It sounded like two freeways were merging because that’s pretty much what was happening.
She gave up, stacked her pillow against the bed’s backboard and had a smoke. Lily had been watching the comedy Hot Tub Time Machine that evening and now wondered what mischief she could get hers... Continue»
18 Year old Sharon Montgomery was soon to leave School- with her final exams about to come up,then,one very hot saturday night she entered a competion-'win a free 8-week holiday to Swaziland!'-a company was offering an all expenses paid trip for a maximum of three people to the little African country-it sounded wonderful!she typed in a random question-not seriously expecting to win!ten to her utter amazement she found by e-mail she had won!the delighted Sharon shows both her parents!'are you forgetting something young lady?' her dad said,as he reads the date they must be at the airport 'and fo... Continue»
Parents evening at my local Primary school is boring but educational and lets me find out how my sibling is doing. This particular evening my wife couldnt make it as she was working late so it was just me, I dropped my sibling off at a friends and I walked to school.
There was a few parents still around but i was the last one , No messing about with times. I know what time i have to be there and just wait for the last parent to leave.
Waited 20 minutes and had to go to the mens room. I was gone about 15 minutes to the other side of school. I finished and hurried out over the playground and ... Continue»
St Paddy's School for the Scandal – The Head Girl does her Oral Examination
First – this is a naughty schoolgirl bondage fantasy for adults – it is not intended to imply any u******e or other practices!! Think St Trinians!
In the wilds of the countryside there exists a School. It has large lush grounds, playing fields and woods. The main school building is probably Victorian in era. One can never be quite certain about these things, but it is a large gray stone building with fake Gothic arches and spires and it has ivy growing over it. The main building houses the teacher’s offices an... Continue»
When I was in college in the late 1990's, pussy shaving, at least as far as I had noticed, had first become an 'in' thing for females to do. I had hooked up with some of these 'pioneers,' and while I never preferred them to their full bushed counterparts, I was able to perform. My junior year I lived at a popular college apartment building. Kind of like Melrose Place, where the guys and gals all got to know one another and there was a lot of messing around. One night, I got together with a gal on my floor, Carrie. She was cute and though she was technically older than me by about 4 month... Continue»
It was two years ago when I started chatting with my favorite pornstar, she is a bbw and 16 years older, she engaged somewhat by following me on IG but I later hit her up from time to time on Facebook. I soon saw that she and a few other girls were on a US tour performing at different clubs and I had never gone to something like this before but I decided that I was going to buy a ticket.
Just before the date of the event she emailed me stating that the show was canceled in my city but If I liked we could meet one on one at her hotel, the hotel just happened to be a few miles away from my ... Continue»
We had been chatting back and forth for a few weeks and up until then our subject of conversation was mainly work, as we worked together. Late one Friday night though, I received a very unexpected photo of her in nothing but her bra and panties with a message that read 'bring your big cock to me now and make my little pussy cum'. Now, if the message had read 'bring your little skinny cock to me now so I can watch you prematurely ejaculate over my pussy before you get it in', that would have been much closer to what I had to offer. I'm not one to turn down a chance to fuck a pretty girl thou... Continue»
A canoeing day that went wrong/right.
The events that got me into this position are unimportant. What is important is that I’ve been backed into a blind date, so my canoe buddy can get into a perfect 10 blonde’s pants. He has covered for me in the past. So fairs, fair. The 20 something brunette in the front of my canoe has a pain face and has dressed in clothes that do not show her figure at all. The only thing in her favour is that she hardly says a word and obviously knows how to paddle. I can’t wait to get this ‘date’ over!
The trip went without event until the last weir. John and ... Continue»
Spencer woke from his sl**p naked with the scent of alcohol and pussy on his lips. He wondered if last night's activities were a dream. Spencer grumbled, turned over of his right side, and was about to fade back into dreamland when he felt his bed shift and a woman moaned right next to him. He slowly turned over to his left and saw what he thought he had dreamed. Sasha, a 5'6" black goddess that made guys drool at work. With her 35D breasts, slim 24 inch waist, and 36 inch hips and ass combo, she was a brickhouse. How she got into Spencer's bed was another story.
Sasha, still asl**p, turne... Continue»
Hi. My name is Chastity. Yeah, it made it a little harder to get dates in high school, but fortunately most of the guys didn't know what it means lol.
I'm 32 years old, 5'1" tall, and weigh about 110. I have brown eyes, plain brown hair, and average features. I never attracted much attention in high school. I've been married for 13 years. My husband is only the second guy I ever let in, and I've been faithful to him ever since. We have 2 k**s -- a daughter 12 and a son 9. I work as a waitress at the local truck stop. The truck stop provides a "uniform" of sorts -- a t-shirt with t... Continue»
Hot Caramel by Dscurve
I’ve never been to one of these places. Nervously I walk up to the Plantation style hostel. A light drizzle has coated the steps so cautiously I walk up them in my long black dress. I’m thankful there’s a deep V slit right up front; makes it much easier for me as I pull it higher exposing more of my thigh, slowly I climb the steps shivering as the cold rain droplets land on my open back. I pause a moment at the top and adjust the two narrow pieces of material that are barely wide enough to cover my areolas. My nipples strain against the threads as a cool wind b... Continue»
She was 35 and I was 42 but we were both in very good shape. Actually, she was beyond that term, way beyond. She had one of those naturally toned figures where every part is balanced just right. She was in the absolute prime of her life, that window of age some women attain when they reach a maturity that’s truly a perfection of human femininity. You don’t encounter such a woman very often, one that is not otherwise totally engaged. But when you do, you take notice because the feeling she embodies rushes at you and through you. It stops you in your tracks.
It is even more powerful ... Continue»
Let me fucking talk a little bit about me:
I am a young stud thinking about fuck all the time. I live among very beautiful hot fucking women, so I am surronded by them all day fucking long. I am good looking and I usually get a lot of attention from females. I keep getting approached by all kinds of women just for satifying each other`s fuck needs, like I am some kind of fem fuck toy, a fucking living vibrator. I sometimes feel like fucking hate women for that, they don`t think I fucking can do better than that, that`s why I like to fuck them, make them love my fuck, then fucking abandon th... Continue»
So, we'd been wed for more than a week now..the love was blossoming but we had not managed to get our inhibitions out of the way and get down to business if you know what I mean. Mr P and I had met online, and after a 5 month long-distance relationship I fell for his dry sense of humor and sexy deep voice. I am an attractive woman and my ladies are a 36 C and I haven't ever shied away from showing off my cleavage and watching men stare ;) ..
House was full of relatives post wedding meant we had not managed to get anywhere apart from me staring at his hard manhood poking through his jammies a... Continue»
Life in the military can be quite boring at times so I got a book form the library entitled 'Teach Yourself Hypnotism' seemed a fun way to pass the time. Thinking it would be a waste of time I soon discovered that I could hypnotise some of my friends into doing things they would not normally contemplate, this caused much amusement in the barracks at night time. Eventually the novelty wore off and I didn't do it for a long time. Life was boring but about to change drastically, the Army was changing and we were about to have one of the first female Officers to command our Troop, some of the g... Continue»
It was a young 15 year old lads dream come true, we had a new teacher, Miss Newton my raving hormones told me she was the best looking woman in the world, tall, blonde, slim figure, nice tits and if I knew what a good fuck was I'd have given her one.
I wasn't the brightest pupil in the class or the dumbest, somewhere in between, but I was guilty of daydreaming, I would often drift off into a world of my own for most of the lessons, even more so now we had a gorgeous teacher I could drift of with and think lewd thoughts about. God if she could have read my mind I'd never come out of prison,... Continue»
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labour.
I work at great depths.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends off or public holidays.
I work in a damp environment.
I don't get paid overtime.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work ... Continue»
Dr. Goo had just picked up his companion Rosy Palm, a hot red head nympho from the planet Earth, and was operating the controls in his HARDIS, looking up from time to time to check her out. Rosy spoke up after taking in the awesome surrounding of the space ship they were flying in, “so, what exactly is this HARDIS?”
Dr. Goo said “it stands for Horny And Arousing Device for Interstellar Swinging.”
“So Cool, it’s bigger on the inside,” she giggled “almost like me, that night on earth after you rescued me from the Orgymen.”
“yes, that’s why I wanted to bring you along, your not like the o... Continue»
HOT & HEALTHY HABITS
What This Spray Tanner REALLY Thinks of Her Clients
Amanda Adams, CPT
It was one of the best, yet saddest jobs I ever had.
In college, I worked at the only tanning salon in town. Confession: I loved it. However, there was one part of my job that I dreaded more than any other—giving spray tans. (But not for the reasons you might be thinking… keep reading. And if you've read this blog before, you need to read it again).
Since this was the only spray tanning place in town, I saw women of all ages, sizes, skin tones and height. ... Continue»
Mike came in to my apartment yesterday afternoon looking pretty angry. When asked what his problem was, ‘his girl would not let him do her in the ass’ was the answer… I honestly laughed; this dude is 6’5-230lbs (I think, cause he is ripped) and his girl who is Spanish is about 5’2-160lbs (cute sexy chubby girl) and he can’t get her to take it in the ass, well after thinking about it, if he f***ed her that’s **** right there.
Mike sat down rubbing his crotch, “dude go relieve yourself in the bathroom if you need to” I said to him still smiling. “You don’t get it b*o… I came home horny as fu... Continue»