Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 67
Beth smirked at her friend across the room and quickly sipped from her mid afternoon glass of Chablis in an attempt to stop herself from giggling. Jenna, her friend since school, wasn't fairing quite so well in stifling her own fit of girlish giggles. As her shoulders began to silently shake, Beth knew it was only a matter of time before her friend would let out her customary bizarre high pitched whine, which always preceded the inevitable complete break down into hysterics for both women.
Beth had been here many times before. Like the time, many years ago at a party, where Beth awoke to th... Continue»
I made a sponge cake the other day. Unfortunately we ran out of icing sugar so it was a bit plain. We sat down to eat it when I said to my boyfriend "It's a bit dry without icing"
"I could help with that if you like" he replied with a cheeky wink.
"Go on then" I said. He looked a bit shocked. I was serious.
"You really want me to? It might taste a bit funny" He said with a smile on his face.
"Come here and unload over my slice. I want you to ice it for me. Do it." A stern look on my face.
Immediately he got up and came over unzipping his jeans and pulled out his cock. I wat... Continue»
Just for fun, an interesting analysis of data from the Internet Adult Film Data Base of some 7000 females and 3000 males.
Data is US-centric and percentage discussions are of women unless otherwise noted.
Weight is the biggest distinction between porn stars and the general population.
Porn stars are quite a bit lighter. At 117 lbs, the average female performer is a considerable 48 lbs under the national average for women, and the average male, at 167.5 lbs, weighs 27 lbs less than the national average for men.
The average male and female performer are the same height as the average... Continue»
What kind of panties do I wear? Well there are three types really. The type I normally wear under my jeans or the white cotton hipsters that I wear a lot are just an ordinary T bone thong. Most of them are white although I do have some that are different shades of red, from pink upwards, most are transparent and some of them have ribbons attached.
They have a small triangular piece of material in the front, which gets narrower as it reaches my slit. Most just cover the slit and then there is a cord that disappears up my crack and when it comes out the top, it attaches to the cord c... Continue»
I woke up this morning all in disarray...my heart was beating ten to the dozen..my massive bosoms were heaving..my skin was all clammy!! I knew it was not true...
You see...I had this dream...an amazing dream that sent me into another world..I was walking along the forest..near our farm..just silly lonely aul me..and I felt I was being watched...the hairs on my arm and the nape of my neck stood on edge...I quickened my pace but ears all a-listening...As I got to the clearing..he was standing there...waiting..looking at me...no words spoken..just this cheeky grin on his rugged face...The day w... Continue»
Around 3 weeks ago in September I caught a serious illness by unknown reasons. Due to that, I stayed out of school for two days (Thursday and Friday.) On that Thursday there was a test being administered by Ms. Smith , my art teacher. The Monday after my two-day absence I was planning or more so of debating whether or not I should make up my test that I missed. I knew I had a test but I just didn’t tell my mother because knowing her she may have sent me to school. Two weeks later however which would be today (Monday) during my 7th period which would also be her class, she told me that I have... Continue»
My first Blowjob
was with 45+ aged man and its was f***eful against my wish. That was first time I touched PENIS
and after that incident was feeling so sinful, which made me to watch PORN
in my free time and been to xHamster
After being here got a desire to catch thick white man's penis, so was searching for safe man locally and got one Australian
, who use to stay in India working as Network engineer. He dint knew that I was 18
and used to send lots of erected penis snaps to me, and its was really thick white one.
A day... Continue»
Hope all of you are enjoying them :)
P.S. Did not write this people!
Day 5 – Sunday
Warren woke up to the sound of someone yelling. Just waking up, he couldn't make out what was said, but it was more than enough to wake him up. Looking over at his clock, Warren saw that it was just before noon. He pulled himself up into a sitting position and dropped his head to his hands, his head pulsing from having drank the night before. For awhile Warren just sat there. Then his head shot up as he remembered having woken up to the sound of yelling, which had to be his s****r, who h... Continue»
Theatrical………30, the conclusion,
Del turned but it was too late for her as well as another guy behind us picked her up and took her into the stall, there was one other guy with him and they took her close to the wall, tied her hands then hooked her to a hanging block and tackle, one of the guys pulled on the rope and her arms were lifted over her head,
one of the guys knelt down in front of her and pulled down her shorts, she seemed to be struggling but I noticed that as he got her shorts to her feet she lifted her leg voluntarily so that he could get them off, he put his hands round her... Continue»
Gerald was doing his lengths and I saw the troop of the princess and her maidens walk along the side of the pool and organise some beds, the princess looked around, possibly to see if anyone was watching her, I was tucked away at the end of the balcony and the handrail obscured me from being seen while my view was perfect, the princess walked to the edge of the pool and sat down,
dangling her feet in the water, one of her maids came beside her and handed her a jar, she began to rub some kind of cream onto her arms, “just get a nostril full of that Gerald and you will be up... Continue»
Come Saturday and I left her in charge of Andrew while I met up with Gerald and we spent the night at the hotel, I had never really figured out why we just didn’t go back to his place, I had a slight inclination where he lived but not certain, all I knew was that it would be a nice house because of the district it was in, but then when I thought about it, the hotel better suited our needs, especially mine with my wayward tendencies, but this weekend I had to talk with him about his long term plans because the wedding in America loomed on the horizon and I wanted to go as much... Continue»
Friday was upon us and it was a bank holiday, Julia had arrived home late the previous night and was sl**ping it off, Andrew had his friend Chris over and Roy had said he had to go into work to complete an order, the only order he had to complete was the order from Leslie to get her knickers down, I went upstairs to see if Julia was awake, I approached her door and it was slightly ajar,
I peeped in and was still asl**p but she must have been warm during the night because her sheets and blankets were on the floor and her nightdress was up round her waist exposing her pussy... Continue»
Day 4 – Saturday
The sound of the front door slamming woke Warren up. He looked over at his alarm clock. It was 6:43 A.M. – on a Saturday. Why was he awake? His mom never came home this early after her nights out.
Warren jerked his head towards his door as he heard the sound of the toilet from the bathroom he shares with his s****r flushing.
Then the night before suddenly rushed back into his mind, and what he had set up between Joe and his s****r. The sound of the door slamming must have been Joe leaving, not his mother getting home. He smiled as he thought about the night before, an... Continue»
I woke the next morning about 8.30, I blinked, Del was still asl**p in front of me and I glanced over her, the bed was empty, had he gone back to her, was he satisfying her lust again, I slipped out of bed and put on my gown, then I went into the lounge, Gerald was sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in front of him and some empty cups laid on it, the bedroom doors were all open and no sign of anyone, “where are they all?” I asked, “they’ve gone he said looking up at me,
I sat down opposite to him watching him, “gone where?” I persisted, “Samuel has taken them to the ai... Continue»
This is my take on the classic Janet and John stories, with apologies to Mabel O'Donnell.
Janet and John have the same birthday.
Janet and John are twins.
They live in a big house in the country with their Mummy and Daddy.
After school they love to take off all their clothes and run around the big garden.
John runs fast.
Janet loves to watch John’s little willie bounce around as he runs.
Janet runs faster than John.
John can only see her back and bottom as she runs away.
Janet doesn’t have a willie, she has a little slit.
Sometimes Janet hides behind a tree and lets John find her... Continue»
Touched 40 now but still remember the incident which happened when I was still a teen. It was a normal summer day in Ahmedabad. After a hard day at school I threw my bag at the bed and headed towards bathroom. It was a bright sunny day and I just stepped into nearest bathroom. I heard water and then as my eyes adjusted to the inside dimness, I saw my aunt staring at me, as she stood naked and soapy under the shower. She gasped in shock. I stared at her and felt my shorts tent as I saw her large breasts and bushy pussy... She burst out laughing as I turned around and ran out. It was the first t... Continue»
The table had been fairly quiet up till then and afterwards the conversation started, most of it was about energy matters and from ear wigging some of the conversation’s I gathered that Gerald had been given a standing ovation for his talk that afternoon, no wonder the company wanted to award him, then I began to panic, what was I supposed to do if he was called to accept this award, should I go with him, should I remain seated, what?,
I couldn’t ask him, it was all meant to be a surprise, “oh fuck, what was the protocol in these circumstances, I looked at Del, I had to st... Continue»
It's another long read but I hope all of you are enjoying it as much as I did.
P.S. I did not write this story
Day 3 – Friday
Warren was fucking Ms. Burkhart. It was in her empty classroom, her hands were on the board, he was thrusting into her from behind, both were moaning in pleasure.
Then it all disappeared as Warren's alarm went off. Warren slammed his fist into the side of his bed, pissed that his dream had been cut off mid-fuck. But only a moment after that, Warren smiled, thinking about how he could make that dream actually happen in a couple hours.
would u like to sit down on the bed and spread ur legs open... close ur eyes and lay back... i kneel infront of you and place my hands on ur boobs
i squeez your boobs softly and slowly move my hand n pull ur nipples gently
i then lift my self up to ur boobs
and i start with soft kisses on ur left breat and then i move back to the right breat
i slowly and softly kiss around your nipples while every few kisses i flick my tongue on ur nipple
and i start to suck the right nipples softly and gently while flick my tongue on ur nipples
first i do it slow n then little bit faster and i mov... Continue»
I woke the next morning and went into the shower, Gerald had risen early and gone out, I came out of the shower and put on my bath robe, I was planning in my mind how to tackle his instruction, I went into the lounge and Del was sitting on the couch with papers spread out on the coffee table, she looked up at me, “hi!, how are you, did you sl**p ok?” she asked cheerfully, “yes, like a log, I was ready for my bed last night” I said, “yes, me too, he can be quite exhausting” she said, I sat down beside her, “Del, I hope you won’t take offence but you make it sound like he fuck... Continue»