Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 110

Some things I 'Do' Like

Cum drops on noses and stories well written
Sensual kisses will have me quite smitten
Hard bulging packages, fun with no strings
These are a few of my favourite things

Creamy filled pussies and tongues in my anus
Light hearted spanking as long as it's painless
Fun with my toy and the joy that it brings
These are a few of my favourite things

Girls in tight dresses with sexy eye lashes
But NO fakes or skinny rakes or vulgar pumped gashes
Beds with 4 posters and reinf***ed springs
These are a few of my favourite things

Concealed love bites......
Sexy playfights....
When I'm f... Continue»
Posted by oh_so_horny 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Something happened on the way to Santa Fe Springs

One day in 1991, my girlfriend asked me to take a short cut on the way back to her apartment. She asked me to turn left at the next street, so I did. A little ways up the street, she asked me to pull over, which I also did. She said, "We're here."

I said, "Where are we?"

She replied, "At a restaurant. I'd like you to try something. It's called calamari."

We went inside and I noticed something odd. There were lots of tables, with absolutely nothing on them, and only two chairs with one against a wall and the other at the same table but facing oppositely. No one else was there, e... Continue»
Posted by Whoregasm4u 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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"I think I can" and I did....

_I didn't see niche for this kind of topic so I'll let you know that it is mind control and humor. Thank you for reading_


I'm a pretty impressive guy, 5 feet 10 inches tall, mocha skin color, big biceps and a six pack the ladies love. Were it all falls off is my pick up game, I suck at hitting on the girls. My one liner cliches are gut wrenching. "Hey baby want me to google your twitter?" seriously i'm probably the only man in extistance that has used that crap. So while i'm sitting at the bar nursing a double rum and coke, thinking naughty thoughts about the blonde two seats down. In my ... Continue»
Posted by dbam69 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Favorite Fantasies #3



The scene is a one-room schoolhouse, somewhere out West.
The teacher is about my age, thirty-five, or even older. But she is
a virgin, a frustrated old maid. She has kept one of the pupils
after school, a strong, six-foot-tall boy who isn’t too bright. She
goes through a stern lecture with him about how he’s not been
paying attention during class, etc. She asks him two or three
tough questions, and when he can’t answer says she’s going to
have to punish him. She tells him to take down his pants; he’s
embarrassed but ... Continue»
Posted by hard_for_yu 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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A little addition to In the Beginning

In 1974, Harry Chapin wrote a poem about an accident with a truck in Scranton, Pennsylvania. The truck was carrying a load of bananas and crashed. Chapin developed the incident into a kind of cult song that he would play at his live concerts. The song had an original ending that had no audience pull. He tried to amend it and make it more popular. After his first attempt, he played the song for his group and received the following reaction: "Harry, it sucks!" So, as Harry relates in the song, he went back to his lonely writers garret and tried out a new ending. So here I am, in my lonely writer... Continue»
Posted by bbbooom 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Interview with Caroline Laurence, translated, on h

Interview with Caroline Laurence on filming "La Vénus á Lulu" - 1991 Dir: D. Losset
Interview with Michel Legrand - "Le Filme" magazine... August 1992.


ML: How did you get the role as Venus in this film?

CL: My agent phoned me & said there was a role in a TV film calling for a slim Nordic-looking girl.... BUT...........I'd have to be naked through most of it & have to act with little boys, no sexual bits, very tasteful & directed by Daniel Losset as a 'Jacques Tati-style' comedy, just be naked for most of the scenes, although discretely filmed & covered by scener... Continue»
Posted by septictone 5 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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In the Beginning

I read a book by Nick Hornby called "High Fidelity". A friend of mine suggested it to me as he thought that I would like the music that was mentioned in the book. The main character of the book tells about the development (if one could call it that....) of his music appreciation as it related to his advances and rejections on the social front. He started when he was a teenager and the book progresses to age 35 or so. It made me think and remember.....

I finally figured out why I am so obsessed with sex. I started too young! Reading the book "High Fidelity" made me think about all those won... Continue»
Posted by bbbooom 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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My Massage from Stacey

Stacey had needed a part time job and started to take classes on massage therapy. I used to mess with her and ask about "happy endings", and she would shake her head and call me an idiot. I guess she really was learning the real massage therapy stuff.
One day I had to help move some stuff at Staceys and after a while felt something wrong with my shoulder. It got real stiff and had a little pain. She offered to look at it, but not taking massage too seriously, I laughed it off. Seeing how much pain I was in at dinner, my wife (Stacey's s****r) told me not to be stupid and to let her look at i... Continue»
Posted by blsbls123 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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FANICY WORLD

2 put a guy like me 2work n a invioment were there r thousons of beautiful woman is HEAVEN-i hate d work im doing but OOoooohhhh how i enjoy d senusious viewing pleasures i get 2 c woman of all shapes n sizes some so young i only dare look,some so old yet still maintaining there sexual glow,some so sexy thy make your dick automaticly start to grow;-))mmmmmm,n i most tell u ladies those white shorts r killing all d rest d way thy show off your ass n pussies d best i thought once it was a test;-)) shit aint no way all u sexy MF cum out here like that some body trying to teamp me n i cant got d s... Continue»
Posted by mrsoulman69 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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today horny?

a hot sommerday again and i also hot :
today i`m realy horny again ,
several times can feel my fat cock between my soft hairy legs ,
terribly hungry to make love , passionated long and deep with
a nice sexy and hairy natural woman , there gets wet and horny , like me .
there like to do it several times - in the morning , outdoor , when take shower or where ever we like it to do .
hungry to feel the mans hard dick and happy to feel his hotcum deep inside.....

where are you , the naughy , nyphomanic woman ,
to h... Continue»
Posted by alfisexy 5 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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When She became He

A Good Friends Advice




"You need a good massage"


You know how it is, when everything is going so well, the only way to go................, is down. Let me explain. It started when I just knew I had to dump my boyfriend, even that was a loose term. The first part was true, in two ways, he had a cock, therefore a boy and he was a boy, not a man and, He, was no longer my friend. He had to go. Then, I had been thinking about how to dump him when I walked into my boss. And knocked him over.........., I was in a hurry. Staying late to get told off made me miss my bus and train connectio... Continue»
Posted by chchboy 5 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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Thank you to slavegirl87 who gave me the idea to w

Thank you to slavegirl87 who gave me the idea to w
While I was reading her I was thinking about a story that happened to me with an ex girlfriend.

Here is my story. Kiss

My girlfriend didn’t know Paris and one day, on a whim, we decided to go for the week-end to Paris. We took the train a Wednesday to spend 3 days alone together in a tiny hotel. I know quite well Paris, I visited dozens of times. But it was the first time I went with a girlfriend. 3 days is too short to see everything and because she loved the movie “Moulin rouge” we went to the Sacré Coeur and to Pigalle. Suddenly she... Continue»
Posted by fredorson 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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1

we are at the summer house of us... near to beach, but far fromother ppl's eyes. no more house near to us... That is our secret place, no one knows, but us. we are swimming after midday.kissing eachother between the rocks... no one can hear our laughs...

then taking you on the sands, in my arms. you need to get oiled your delicious and salty skin. i am ready to help here :). you are laying down , and i am taking some oil in my hands. start to massage to your body.... to your muscles... you are getting relax under my touch. to your neck... to your back... to your waist(with a kiss)... to... Continue»
Posted by warcry01 5 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Happy days ..

So it was way back when the old mid-summer hippy festival used to happen in the fields adjacent to Stonehenge on Salisbury Plain ( that's in England - for our overseas readers ! ) . The current fairy had persuaded me to go to the festival with her and her ex, strange maybe but he had a car .......
We got there and pitched the tents, grabbed a beer and proceeded to skin-up and get nice and mellow. All was going well and she asked me to go for a wander about the site to see what was happening. I don't know if you ever went there, but it was a bit anarchic and a 'no-go-area' for the police. Y... Continue»
Posted by thakery59 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Bursting for a piss !!

So it was Friday afternoon and i get a phone call from my wife " babe shall we go fishing tonight?". I was a little shocked as the weather was so bad but i hadn't been out on the lake for a while so i said yeah, as soon as i finish work, ill pack the truck up and we will head down the lake.

We got there and there was a dry spell, so i quickly threw the Bivvi up and set up the camp beds, and she climbed inside. I was outside setting the rods and baiting up when she called for me to turn around. I looked round and the mrs was wearing stockings and suspenders under her jeans, and she pulled ou... Continue»
Posted by himNher 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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The Absent-Minded Commuter

The Absent-Minded Traveller
I am a terribly forgetful person - let me give you an example. Yesterday I went to visit a friend - a beautiful friend, slim, yet with curves in all the right places - and we flirt, though nothing has happened between us … yet. I wanted her to notice how good I looked, so I made a special effort before I set off for her place. I put on a rather short, floral dress, and high heeled, strappy sandals. Then I sat in front of the mirror and watched myself as I pumped my clit hood till it was huge - all swollen and soft - rubbing against my thighs. To get to my friend’... Continue»
Posted by pinkpumper 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Don't Drink Alcohol

The art of making love is supposedly one of the most beautiful and enjoyable acts someone can perform. It gives incredible pleasure and is a wonderful feeling of closeness between two people. We've all seen the movies that set the standard for how we should behave. You all know the scene: the man gently eases his partner down while looking at her fondly. He then confidently and calmly guides her through the processes. He is a confident lover, someone whom she can really lose herself to. It's almost picture perfect, with the small beads of sweat, mood lighting and music. Yes, you would almost b... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Monsoon Masti With Bank Loan Girl


I'm clear about one thing – I belive in love, but even sex is important. And variety in sex is good! I've been fantasizing about sex since my teenage. And its gotten stronger with age! I've had good time with my maid, some aunties, and girls in bangalore. When I was in college, I used to take “tips" from seniors on how to go about these things. I wish we had more stories like desitales then for the lessons!! Anyway, let me tell you about one incident that happened just before my marriage. I used to think about having sex as many times as possible before marriage. One day in office, I got ca... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Bad-Girl Sex Tricks (For Girls Only)

Bad girls are legendary - a guy who’s been with one practically passes out from bliss when he talks about his experience. You might be thinking, “Who, me? Be a bad girl?” But any woman who wants to can wake up her hibernating vixen...and have a damn good time doing it!

See, bed-devil status is about a fearless attitude, not how much sexual experience you have or whether you wear leather. “Guys dig when women are unbridled and uninhibited, push their own boundaries, break the rules, and ask for what they want,” says Barbara Keesling, PhD, author of The Good Girl’s Guide to Bad Girl Sex. So ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Seduction Of Young Nurse


My duty is to look after her husband while she is out most of time shopping or with her friends. I often give sedatives to Mr Sharma so that he can have a peaceful sl**p. I once saw a collection of porn movies in their closet and began to watch them when the wife was away and husband was sl**ping. I would put the volume low and watch porn and then put the movie back. I would sit on the sofa and rub my pussy and cum by fingering myself. Porn collection was very hot. I would dress more casually in skirts and loose tops as I became more comfortable with the couple and they loved me. I am avera... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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