Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 109
WARNING: This story is entirely fictional but does contain dark themes and elements.
This is not for the feint of heart! Don't say I didn't warn you hehe
In a small run-down building in a run-down part of town, the wrestler and former champion known as Sammy Bunns
was about to enter a very murky world. She looked different out of her usual wrestling attire, less glamorously sport... Continue»
As I sit in the waiting lobby of a beautiful marbled complex, I look at the women around me.
I'm surrounded by beauties of all shapes, colours and sizes.
I know I look good, but these girls ranging between the ages of 18 - late 40s are all so beautiful.
There's a beautiful marble fountain in the middle of the room emanating a calm soothing sound of flowing water, like a steady stream.
It's intricately decorated with statues of Rubenesque women sitting on the faces of smaller men and women.
Each statue is made up of platinum and silver and gold and other precious metals.
The centrep... Continue»
Hi like to tell you about the other day.
First thing first
I have type 2 diabetes so getting hard on is hit or miss, so an month ago me & my wife went got our self’s a harnesses for us, when we got it does come with a dildo 5” with diameter of 1.25” as well of bullet (small vibrate) . At first the dildo looks a bit small & thin but soon as you gets it in that harnesses & get bit K.Y. on it wow.
My wife is bit big sizes 22 in clothes it’s her tummy & has great pair of tits 40E & nice pussy to lick out.
My wife & I like go have a bath & shave her pussy bold then get on the bed have a play w... Continue»
I have been talking with men, and, most men say 'They like to fuck a smelling foul pussy!' because, it give them pleasure during sex, and, like the smell of sex in the room, more like a workout.
My quesion is, What do you prefer, a smelling foul pussy? or, a pussy don't have no scent at all?
PS. If wondering about my pussy, my pussy don't have no scent.... Continue»
My duty is to look after her husband while she is out most of time shopping or with her friends. I often give sedatives to Mr Sharma so that he can have a peaceful sl**p. I once saw a collection of porn movies in their closet and began to watch them when the wife was away and husband was sl**ping. I would put the volume low and watch porn and then put the movie back. I would sit on the sofa and rub my pussy and cum by fingering myself. Porn collection was very hot. I would dress more casually in skirts and loose tops as I became more comfortable with the couple and they loved me. I am avera... Continue»
ok so my team makes it to a basketball tournament in humbotlt california, i think i was about 16 or 17 then. i never heard of that city before, but everyone was telling me its very boring, and old fashioned up there. there is nothing to do but smoke weed. i wasn't looking forward to it but i still wanted to win the whole tournament at all costs. when my team arrives to the the city, it was just how everyone said. the small town was so much in the woods there was only 1 hotel. since it was a 25 team tournament it was filled. so a lot of teams stayed with families that had the biggest house... Continue»
It was around 11:00pm on May 10th 2012; also known as the kick-off of a all-time fantasy.
I was on Facebook and I recently got a message from a older friend of mine.
Her name was Mary(Not Using Real Names)and she said "Hey long time no talk." I replied saying
"Yeah I know right, what are you up to." "Not a damn thing," she said "I saw you were online and
wanted to see how have you been." At this point I had visions of her and her ass all of sudden.
I quickly had to adjust myself as my pants were becoming tighter. The conversation went on for about three hours, but within those three ho... Continue»
A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning:
"Ohh, I need a bike! Ahh, I need a bike!"
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1- So if you get one, be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.
4. Extension to rule #3- No I DON'T have to swallow.
5. My ears are NOT handles.
6. Extension to rule#5- do not push on the top of my head, do you really WANT
puke on your dick?
7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get' it is NEVER OK to fart.
8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head- I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don... Continue»
101. Assphilia:- The desire to put your Toungue on an ass Image.
100. Pyrophilia:- The burning desire to have sex with a partner who is on fire. Tip: lighter fluid works well and doesn't smell as bad as petrol.
99.5. Pyrocoprophilia:- The desire to take a shit on your partner and set the shit on fire.
99. Cropohilia:- Liking for rumpy pumpy in a field of corn.
98. Frodorism:- Lusting after a small person's ring.
97. Dwarfism:- Dressing up in silly pointed hats and wanking over a sl**ping person of the female type gender.
96. Autoerotisism:- Cars, lots and lots... Continue»
it was a mild summer night as i held the one i loved in my arms. i held her close against me as i kissed her neck. as i started to nibble on her ear she tugged and pulled at my jeans as if to slowly claw them off me. passion was taking over and she was ready to go. i reclined my trucks seat as she saddled me and bit into my neck. it was somthing that just drove me nuts. her nibbling on my neck slowly moving down my collar bone, while slowly pulling my shirt off as i unsnapped her bra she tugged at my belt, begging for me to fuck her. i layed her down on the seat and undid her belt and pants wi... Continue»
Are you gay?
For the record, I’m not. If I was, I’m not sure that I would admit it, but I like to think I would.
The point is, I’m not, but I get accused of being gay all the time.
Most of it is either just jealousy from weak-minded guys, or wishful thinking from gay dudes, but it does come up.
The funniest example so far is this email I got the other day.
What’s really funny to me is when guys say that they KNOW I’m gay.
Now, I’ve met some gay dudes that were in the closet, and I actually know at least one right now. I guess if you live in a real conservative pla... Continue»
Her name was Meredith. She was as plump as a little partridge. Thick muscular legs, toned. Her ass defied gravity.
We would get together in my room and play guitar and sing songs. We would do Cash and Carter's "Jackson". We were pretty good too. She could harmonize well.
One night we were at a bar here in Down Town. She sat in the stool next to me. She wore a short skirt. She had soft blond hair on her thighs, very light, barely visible.
Her tits were small and pert. She had big gorgeous brown eyes. And behind her pouting lips were a set of big white teeth, the top row of which protru... Continue»
Well guys, slutty Sarah is back. We met up last week and after a meal, I took her back to my place. Throughout the meal, she kept telling me she had something she wanted to tell me later.
Eventually she got around to it. She said “You know Julia got married a couple of days ago, well, he night before she had a party in some big hall. There were about 20 of us there, all girls. I didn’t know beforehand, but some of the girls had arranged for male strippers to show up and strip for us.
Well, it was the first time I’d seen male strippers. Seriously, there bodies were amazing. There were fo... Continue»
so your laying down on the beach, letting the sun burn your back you silly girl
suddenly you feel the cold drip of lotion on your back , quickly followed by warm hands massaging into your shoulders and down your back
you hear a voice saying"don"t look round", you decide not to as the rubbing feels so good and you needed lotion on your back anyway
the hands move slowly up and down your back, the fingers every now and then brushing against your breasts as you lay on your front, the hands slowly move lower on your back until they reach the top of your bum,
they slide beneath yo... Continue»
A BIG SUBPRIZE FOR US
here is a store for you and you all, all ways have a great day...
mmmmmm OH Honey, you make my dick so hard just thing of kissing your beautiful lips with our tongues which are touching and mangling together like to lovers all wrapped together with our hands, arms, legs holding and rubbing each others naked bodies. We are as one person, a body of warm heated love mass. When all in a split secant my dog jumps up on to our bed. He pushes his noise in between our bodes, touch our breast and nipples, rubbing your hard nipples between my fing... Continue»
As anyone who commutes too, from and within a large city will tell you rush hour is somethig everyone wishes they could avoid. Whether it be the long drive home where the only thing touching medal is the brake pedal or weathering the upstream effect as you walk the crowded sidewalks to and from the office. As a new yorker I take the subway to and from work so you can imagine my pain. The situation in question happened a few months ago on a Thursday evening. It had been a long day and grimaced at the thought of the crowded subway cars and bustling underground hikes as a would have to make 2 tra... Continue»
I HAVE TO THANK RETROLOVER, as a result of talking with him, my memory was set back to Christmas DAy morning 1980 at 0134 me and Two Work Mates who i will call "TOM and DICK" were waiting for the Staff Coach to take us home, these coaches were either 24 or 82 seter jobs normaly. TOM says "Hay whats this coming our way" Dick "no Can`t be for us shorly" along came the usual coach driver exept hes driving my boy hood dream car the E-Type Jaguar Sports Car, For those who don`t know it, a two seater, the driver had not checked-in to see if there was anyone who needed it, he was aparently just passi... Continue»
Doug had brought his girlfriend Montana to his uncle’s farm for a day. He knew that she loved horsed and his uncle had a bunch of them. Doug had planned a whole picnic out by the pond as well.
They drove down the dirty road to the farm house and Montana looked out the window as they drove past the cows and horses. He couldn’t help to smile as they got to the farm house. He pulled up by the barn and he got out and walked to the other side of the truck and help Montana get out as well.
At 5’3” she was much shorter than his 6’ but he loved it and she had blonde highlighted hair that came to... Continue»
I had to write this because men get a bad rap that we dont eat enough pussy so i had to break it down so that it was forever and correctly BROKE. Men love eating pussy ive seen men in strip clubs eating stripper pussy (nasty). First lets talk about the pussy. It is nasty as hell and you should that the heavens men even want to put their mouth down there. Yall pee thru it fuck with it men cum (big loads) inside of it, Babies come out of it, discharges, yeast infections, bladder infections, yall bleed stinky bl**d for a week an get mad at who wont eat it? Then some of yall dont know how to ke