Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 63

Phobebe & rachel lesbian fling-(friends sitcom

Phoebe couldn’t stand it. Rachel had been talking all
night. That wouldn’t have been so bad, she enjoyed an
all-girl bull session, but Rachel kept turning the
conversation back to sex. She was a little d***k. They
both were. They’d been to a party near Phoebe’s
apartment, had a lot of sangria, and Rachel asked if
she could crash with Phoebe.

She’d said yes but now, lying in bed next to her in big
t-shirts and panties, she was regretting it. Rachel had
broken up with Tag six weeks ago, and she’d not slept
with anyone since. Phoebe could sympathize...it had
actually been ... Continue»
Posted by griffen1 3 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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my horny dick needs...

Where can I start ladies I've been on ere for sum time now and each and every one one u are very hot lush and a lot ov yas are dirty minded and I love that use are love all the pics dirty the better for me I'll very mucky dirty naughty minded as ul ever meet or cum acress pure filth not in a weird way I love wankin over ever one ov yas pics video wow my gos I didn't think sum woman didn't av it in them wrong get in love it proper dirty horny wonman I love the tease woman wsat cock tease play cum and dick tease me like never have u befor with ne one else be my dirty cum sluts tel me wat use wud... Continue»
Posted by massivedickgirls 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Strange things you think of

With the heat of this summer I have been finding it difficult to sl**p and strange things come into my mind like
Why did Daphne always disappear with Freddy in Scobby Doo, they were useless though Daphne certainly had a wiggle that even now I think is pretty hot.
Velma - how dirty would she be, I have been with nerdy girls and well they are very naughty to say the least.
Shaggy ... I am still in shock during an episode with Scrappy Doo he was riding a Llama trying to escape a Vampire. Did the cartoon company ever figure out that Llamas were never really ridden. Well logic and cartoons are r... Continue»
Posted by coltheharve78 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Domestic

People rarely think of the home as a particularly glamorous place for sex. And mostly they are right. But its still the place that 90% of our best sex occurs. Anything that happens in a kitchen is almost certainly unplanned and that just makes it even better. I walked into mine one day to find you stood at the sink washing up from lunch. Its been a gorgeous summer day so far so you are wearing a loose strappy top and a long light skirt. I can see little glimpses of your breasts every time you lean over or twist to put something aside. I cant help staring. Eventually you notice my attention bu... Continue»
Posted by 337lee 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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NEALING IN THE DARK DAMP CHAMBER.

STORY BY THE FORBIDDENMAN
A gift to his 1000th day on xhamster!

Part 1 to 5:

WITH THE STRONG SMELL OF FILTH FILLING YOUR NOSE, AND BEING CARRIED OVER THE SHOULDER OF A MAN WHO YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF, TO FINALY BEING DUMPT ONTO THE HARD WET FLOOR, ALL ALONE IN THE DARK, AND UNABLE TO MOVE YOUR LEGS BECAUSE THEY WERE TIED TOGETHER EARLIER, ALONG WITH YOUR WRISTS, YOUR f***eD TO NEAL AND WAIT, YOU GLANCE ROUND BUT CANT SEE ANYTHING CLEARLY, ALL YOU ARE AWARE OF IS THE SOUND OF DRIPPING WATER AND YOU CAN SEE A RED GLOW, OF SOMEONE SMOKING A CIGARETTE NEAR BY, YOUR ALSO AW... Continue»
Posted by gs4love 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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A Day in the Witch's Underwear


"Where do you think you're going in them?!" My mean young ex-girlfriend yells at me, catching me 'borrowing' her black silk-laced underwear.

"Oh sh..." I softly sigh, my cheeks turning a little red.

"When we agreed to end our relationship and just be roommates, I thought I made it very clear that you are no longer welcome to taking my underwear." She scolds me.

"I'm sorry Kayley, all my knickers are in the wash-" I began to explain.

"Tough shit, bitch, you're just jealous 'cos my knickers are sexier than yours, even though I thought sluts like you don't even wear any underwear," ... Continue»
Posted by LittleMissFart 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Sexy story to Armoprince66@yahoo mountain dew

Now for your listening pleasure i made up a song for you all...a NEW SONG FOR U SING ALONG NOW EVERYBODY....IF YOU ARE HORNY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS ...IF YOU ARE HORNY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS ....IF YOUR HORNY AND YOU KNOW IT THEN YOUR FACE WILL SURELY SHOW IT...IF YOUR HORNY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS..CLAP CLAP THANK YOU, THANK YOU... HAHAHA... LOL... FUNNY SH-T FOR SURE... CAN YOU SEE THAT BEING PLAYED WITH THE HOKIE POKIE AT THE SKATING RING HAHAHAHA HOW WAS THAT BOYS AND GIRLS HEHEHEHAHAHAHA!!!! Full service provider no greek IN THE GRECIAN LANGUAGE OF REDBOOK THAT M... Continue»
Posted by notreasonusa 3 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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one hot wet night

Driving down a long dusty country road with the tunes blaring, we spend a quiet afternoon. The music is lightening our spirits and I reach over a stroke the inside of your leg. Rubbing it in small circles, up the inside of your thigh and then back down to your knee. I lean over and tell you I love you and am enjoying this time together.

Along the way we find a small secluded grove of ancient oaks, beckoning us to pull up and stop... to commune with nature. You can't fight the f***e that beckons you and pull into the cool green canopy. We get out of the truck and I walk over and take your h... Continue»
Posted by sherrlicious 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The naughty neighbor affair

The Naughty neighbor affair...

The apartment was all quiet ,I was home all alone for the day.. I was wandering what
I could do to keep my self entertained? Hmmm I thought "Booty call" I decided
to text my neighbor since he was off work and see if he was tied up with the wife
or see if he had some free time for some fun... fingers crossed.. he was was free
and he could stop by ... my body began to tingle with anticipating his reply ,
than my phone buzzed and he said yeah he was free he stop by after lunch
which certainly put a smile on my face, so I went up and ... Continue»
Posted by sherrlicious 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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cleaning and benefits.

after marriage ended I moved into 2nd floor apartment. One of the 1st floor neighbors did cleaning. She introduced her self and offered a free cleaning. few weeks later I accepted and offered her the key.
Mr bill I have one already.

I work night shift and wake up at 10 or so. In my underwear my sl**p stif cock I walk to the bathroom. as I turn the corner and women is wrapped around the toilet.
I saw you sl**ping mr bill and just started cleaning. come on in here, I did and while I empty the tank she stands there looking.
That's a big one mr bill. I smile and finish. put it away and p... Continue»
Posted by hardnutjr 3 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The naughty neighbor affair.... story i wrote ...

The Naughty neighbor affair...

The apartment was all quiet ,I was home all alone for the day.. I was wandering what
I could do to keep my self entertained? Hmmm I thought "Booty call" I decided
to text my neighbor since he was off work and see if he was tied up with the wife
or see if he had some free time for some fun... fingers crossed.. he was was free
and he could stop by ... my body began to tingle with anticipating his reply ,
than my phone buzzed and he said yeah he was free he stop by after lunch
which certainly put a smile on my face, so I went up and ... Continue»
Posted by sherrlicious 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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SPENT

Time to head to the gym. Shay and I work out regularly (of course you know this if you follow her hot blog. www.thegirlform.com ) It's about a 30 min drive and we don't always get to go together.
Today was one of those days. Every morning I wake up with the Hardest Cock ever. I mean what do you expect I sl**p next to the Shay Every night. I generally rub up on her pretty good and if she feels like giving me a treat she will FUCK me right then and there. Today was not one of those days, so I left the house with a raging hard on. She Loves this! and she knows she wields the power to ma... Continue»
Posted by peanutj 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Two’s Company

She lies on her belly. Her legs are long, like two-thirds the length of the couch. Jesus, what legs. They start perfectly at her white anklets and then rise and rise and just artfullyassemble themselves into a perfectfucking ass. She has the kind of ass that’s bulbous without being a bulb. It’s a half-an-apple ass, a narrow-but-squeezable, humpty-buttock, soft and girly ass. She crosses her ankles and bends her knees so her feet drop almost down to the scallop, the cut-off in the faded frazzle-legged denim that rides up higher than her panty lines….

“Gloria,” I sa... Continue»
Posted by Julian_LoveYou 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Dirty Dawg: Confessions of an Irredeemable BASTERD



Chapter 1: The Indian Intern


I had been working this shit job at a downtown law firm for quite some time had been considering quitting due to a wealth of “Busy Work” and my asshole of a supervisor Mr. Kumar. He was this Indian fuck who had started out six months ago in a satellite firm overseas and transferred into a management position. He was a big fan of cramming as much shit into an eight hour work period as humanly possible. He would watch ... Continue»
Posted by mondotoken 3 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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After I Die I Want to Come Back as a Lesbian - May

After I Die I Want to Come Back as A Lesbian - Maybe

I love pussy! It's my favorite food! I don't just LOVE pussy; I ADORE it! I even love the WORD "pussy!" I love to look at it; I love to think about it; I love to touch it and to feel it and to kiss it and lick it and rub my nose in it. Anyone who has one is my kind of person! This is why I once had the thought that after I die I would LOVE to come back in my next life as a lesbian!

Lesbians seem to have SOOOOO much fun with each other. They can do most of the things that guys can do for them, and they can do them BETTER because... Continue»
Posted by George178 3 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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the apartment: warm welcome

I've been living for some years now in the apartmentbuilding where I live, a nice duplex apartment where I live alone. When I bought it I first had to do a lot of work on it, painting, a bit of remodeling and that all took longer then planned, because of the delay I couldn't celebrate my birthday in my new home. Luckily a move is always a good moment to have a housewarming party, so when all the work was done and I had moved in for the most part I had a double party. I invited all my friends and direct neighbours (so they couldn't complain about the noise), bought booze, bought food and arrang... Continue»
Posted by volleballen77 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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My slut wife..from Sri Lanka

hi im gayan aged 27 yrs living in moratuwa, Sri lanka..the story i'm going to narrate you is about the real incidents happened during past few months about my young and horny wife Taniya..actually its about how i found my wife is a horny slut with her collegue. my wife is 25 years old and we were married for the last 6 months. As both of us are working for same bank in Sri lanka we dint get a chance to work together and i was transferred to System Department where you get 7*24*365 work in shift basis. The very next month my wife got promoted to next level and we overjoyed as it was a gift for ... Continue»
Posted by milankoluwa 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Blow Job Etiquette (By A Woman)

1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1- So if you get one, be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.
4. Extension to rule #3- No I DON'T have to swallow.
5. My ears are NOT handles.
6. Extension to rule#5- do not push on the top of my head, do you really WANT
puke on your dick?
7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get' it is NEVER OK to fart.
8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head- I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don... Continue»
Posted by Jim-Nice-But-Dim 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Beautiful Nightmare (Palace of the Damned)

I had only been waking a little way now the terrain was slabbed with burning torches, I was so close to the palace of Emperor Longdong, in fact I could see up ahead to shadowy figures coming towards me, more Penis Warriors well I had nothing to fear might as well check out the cocks.
"Hello Gents" As well as being naked except for me bag and shoes, reckoned that would get their attention, it did they stood either side of me and spoke in their growly tongue "You are the one everyone has been looking for" the one on the left spoke.
"Am I Big boy, well now you found me, reaching my hand inside ... Continue»
Posted by DiamondLife 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Post to a depressed mate

This is what I posted to a mate has issues attracting a female. He is disabled, yet all parts work. This site has many people, some of whom are real and caring. Maybe someone there can also advise him. He is a human being and though I've never been in his situation, could use some positive words. G'day.

Sir,
Stop believing no woman will want you.
Make them want you.
They want a nice guy but select bad boys because they don't know what to expect from nice guys.
I lost a soulmate as she was afraid my commitment was real and I also didn't want to change her sexually.

Go to my page ... Continue»
Posted by asianflyer 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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