Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 3
So I was talking with some friends the other day, and the subject (as usual) turned to sex. That is what happens when you add alcohol and a group of adults who are finally away from their k**s for a few hours LOL! And somehow we got to relating some of the worst sex stories we'd ever heard and some of our own worst sex stories!!
You know, guys who claim to have huge dicks, and when they get naked you need a magnifying glass to find it. Women who say they love giving head but stop after less than 2 minutes. Things like that. Most of the stories were pretty tame.
One friend was with a gu... Continue»
My Climbing Buddies s****r.
A true event with just the names changed to protect the not so innocent!
I’m Dave, 35 and I’m an above average climber; muscular, sun tanned and quite good looking, if I say so myself. Joe my climbing buddy is similar in build but has to fight the ladies off. Lucky chap. I taught him to climb when quite young and he has become a very good climber. We have climbed for over 7 years throughout the country and abroad. Over this time we have become firm buddies – drinking, fast cars, off-road driving, climbing, diving, and sailing - anything that you need a buddy t... Continue»
As a rule, there was a 9 in 10 chance that if I ate a woman's pussy on a first date/first encounter, it would lead to fucking. The ironic thing was, often on a first date/encounter, the farthest I'd 'planned' to go was oral because I thought it wise not to go 'all the way' on the first date. I still recall some disappointed females who really wanted to fuck after I ate them out for what they thought extended well past the point of foreplay. As prude as that sounds of me, while I may not have always been willing to fuck on the first date, I can remember precious few dates/encounters that ended ... Continue»
Another day travelling through Europe, another astounding city and the end of an amazing day taking pictures and meeting new people …the waterways, the elevated gardens… the architecture…the understated majesty of the buildings.
Oh and the ladies…oh my goodness…what can we do about those…amazing works of art far better than any museum viewing…I’m twisting and turning my head as I walk along just trying to keep up with it all. Do you know those jokes about European women and flat booties? Well times have changed…lol
Tired of stuck up bitches that want gifts, dinners, money all of your fuckin' time and attention? Did you ever want to just find a little SUBMISSIVE fuck toy and fill her full of your man seed? At Creampie Thais, I do just that. I pick up hot Thai whores off the streets of Thailand. In beer bars, discos, and from the aGoGos, I wreck their young slick pussies and fill them full of my spunk. After I have these whores suck my cock and dump my sperm into their receptive cunts, I throw them back to the world to fend for themselves. These girls are willing to do anything to receive my spunk inside t... Continue»
I've noticed recently that my dick doesn't get fully hard 100% of the time anymore. Just the other day I was fucking a sex buddy and my dick was only half hard. She still enjoyed it and I came but I wasn't destroying her pussy like I usually do. The weird thing is she came harder then when I pound her so I was like ok maybe its just in my mind. Then on Saturday I ran into a ex girlfriend when I was out. We both got fucked up and was about to fuck her when she had to suck me for 10 min to get me hard. Once again I was hard for only like 10min then back to 3/4 hard. Strange thing she lov... Continue»
Part 5 of a series. The order is at the end of this story.
I had been sl**ping with my partners mother for a few months and I was loving sex with both. Adam had a big cock, and his mam Eve could lick me to orgasm better than any man I had ever slept with. And she also had a good collection of toys when either of us wanted penetration.I had recently found out that Eve had started sl**ping with her ex husband Joe. She said he could give her something I couldn't. I bet that something was between his legs.
Eve and I had been taking part in a local production of a play, and we had become the star... Continue»
119. ITS BEEN A FUNNY SORT OF WEEK
WELL, what happened was that I like a huge number of others like to watch porn, logically the follow on from that is to watch it for real and that can mean cuckold if you’re a married man like me.
Now cuckold to some means having a large black screwing the good lady. Now I am not racist, you sir could be black brown yellow red or white and it don’t bother me a jot; to screw my misses you just need a dick and a sense of humour cos though I wish to watch, I don’t expect to be treated like I am some sort of week or wobbly Nancy boy, I don’t cross dress, o... Continue»
Jay and I were back in the states in Seattle Washington giving our friends and f****y a surprise visit. Jay, All the AOM boys and I were at this sports bar in his hometown. Jay was never a big drinker so he quickly got a buzz after 2 drinks. But however his buddies encouraged him to drink more, which then made Jay’s Face become slightly pink in the cheeks and made him a lot more louder.
“Guys, Guys wanna hear somethin’?” he asked with a goofy smile.
“What’s that?” asked one of his friends.
“If Alcohol makes you an alcoholic what does Fanta ma... Continue»
This is Chapter two of a story about Wendell, a recently divorced middle aged man who becomes the neighbor of a trio of exciting young college girls in an apartment complex named Thessaly Springs. In this chapter, Wendell does a little on line research about Ashley, the new object of his affections, and begins to plot her seduction.
This is a work of fiction. All rights are reserved.
. . . . . . . . . . .
I woke around mid morning with a raging hard on and a mild headache. Sun poured through the curtains covering the sliding glass door that led to the patio. I looked at the clock and... Continue»
Jennie's naked body was covered from head to toe with a tattoo of a flowery vine. It did not cover all of Jennie's skin, but it was wrapped around her arms and legs, two flowers even covering her temples. It was steadily fading into invisibility, but even so, Catherine could feel its raw power. This was no ink - it was pure lust wrapped around her friend's body. Jennie's right hand seemed powerless to resist caressing the flower blooming on her right breast, or even to breathe without pushing her chest forward.
The most dramatic change, however, was Jennie's expression. The bold and confide... Continue»
Step-s****r's Spring Break Visit
Earlier this year my step s****r came to stay with the f****y for spring break. Consisted of my mom and step-dad. They were pretty nice to not kick me out while I stayed in state to attend college. My step s****r on the other hand decided to go to SDSU. I mean that's not too far away considering we were just a city away. I'm pretty sure Stacy, my step-s****r just wanted to get away from the memories. Unfortunately her boyfriend who she was deeply in love with passed away. It was very short and unexpected. Til this day she posts on social media pictures of t... Continue»
Hey, y'all, what's up?... :)
I promised y'all something, and a promise is a promise, so...welcome to the first (and most important) part of my "program" of the dating game, meaning how you can date and have as many women as you want, as well as any woman you want. Also, a deal is a deal so, although I'll share to you information worth 1 billion dollars, I'll do it for you totally free. ;)
Now, let's get it started...
Have you ever wondered why women react differently while getting approached by different men? I mean, why she says "no" to a guy that`s așking for her contact details or fo... Continue»
Hey, y'all, what's up?... :)
First of all, since this is the introduction of some incredible stuff I want to share to you...let me introduce myself:
- I'm 31 yo;
- I live in Europe;
- I'm really into my job;
- I love sports;
- I lllllove women. :)
I was thinking this days...which would be the secret of happiness for a man? That 1 billion dollars question, whose answer would REALLY make a guy happy?...
Would that be...
how can I be rich?
how can I get a nice car?
how can I eat without getting fat? - this just might be the 1 billion dollars question for a woman...:)) but, altho... Continue»
I hadn’t realized I was speeding until I saw red and blue flashing lights in my rearview mirror. Fuck, I thought to myself, I don’t need this right now. I need to get home to my bathtub and that book I just started reading. I pulled over, grabbed my registration from my glove compartment, rolled down my window and waited.
“Miss, do you realize how fast you were going?”
I turned my head to answer and was greeted by the most gorgeous police officer I had ever seen in my life. Although it was dark, I could see that his eyes were blue. Piercing blue. His hair was dark and slightly wavy, ... Continue»
Jennie was moaning.
She was in the dark, chained to a demonic machine, phantom hands all over her naked form. Over her perky little breasts, between her quivering thighs, along her belly. She felt warm, loved... terrified.
Whatever resolve led her to sacrifice herself for Catherine was gone. She wanted out. She wanted out now, before the hands get bolder and start playing with her nipples and her clitoris. She wanted to struggle, break out, kick that demonic asshole in the dick, confront the Lord of Hell that doomed her to a helpless slut's fate. Climb out of Hell if she had to, even cas... Continue»
This happened over thirty years ago. My father in law died my wife and I helped her all we could, doing things for her, staying a nights we her, things like that. 8 months later we planned a trip to Florida, and my wife asked if she could ask her mother to go with us. I really didn't won't to but what can you say. I knew fucking would be out on this trip. We arrived later in the day and checked in, I decided to take a dip before eating. Dot asked Hilda her mom if she wanted to swim, she said later. We got in our clothes I wear shorts instead of a swim suit because my cock shows too much. While... Continue»
I sat on the edge of the bed, biting my nail and ruining the smooth polish I had applied earlier. The red of the digital clock illuminated the dark room and my lashes fluttered as the clock display switched to 10:38. On February 14th at 10:38, I finally admitted to myself that I would spend the entire day alone.
I should just go to bed.
I thought of the last time we had been together as I pulled open the drawer to the nightstand. I thought of how he had slowly stripped my clothes off, how his hands had felt on my body, and how he had fucked my brains out on this very bed.
My hand... Continue»
This is the newest installment in a series of stories collectively titled "Loving Lizvette." They are the recollections of a middle-aged man who found himself falling in love with his teenaged daughter's young friend, who calls him "Daddy" partly because she is carrying his baby. At this point in their romance, they have not been alone together for several weeks and have arranged to play hooky from school and work to enjoy their first Valentine's Day as lovers, alone on a boat at a nearby lake. It was a day they would both remember.
The story is told in nine scenes.
This is a work of fi... Continue»
6. In A Haze
As Lizvette cradled my head at her breasts, letting me drift in and out of my lover's haze, her eyes explored the boat. After several minutes of silence, she said quietly. "It would be fun to have a boat like this, daddy. Are they very expensive?" I opened my eyes and lifted my face from between her pillowy, expectant mother's breasts and looked at her. "You know I have a baby on the way, right? I really don't have money for a cabin cruiser right now. I have to start another college fund."
"Poor daddy. I bet you didn't know how expensive I was going to be, did you!" She thou... Continue»