Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 14

Friends with benefits, part ONE (Edith)

This is a fictional story.

My cell rang with a familiar melody, I picked it up and looked at the screen. It was my friend Edith. I answer it and her voice on the other end said, "do yo want pizza and a fuck?"

I just giggle, "damn woman...." Then she interrupted me... "what don't you like pizza???" She cracked up...

"Hey I am in the neighborhood, mind if I stop by?" Edith said.

"No worries, bring some beer, real beer, no Coronas."

"Ok, will be there in a few."

This woman has been my friend ... Continue»
Posted by ilialenyc 11 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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Office Environment and Fast Anal Sex

Call me a modern girl, I like sex, teasing, drinking, sex, men, more sex, and of course those facials, the dirty kind I blogged about earlier.

In the office the other day, I was greeted with a glass of champagne instead of my Espresso.

Dave, the copier guy snucked a bottle in, and as we stood in the small coffee room and poured me a second glass, he admitted he thought about me, behind his wife's back.

That should have sent my feminine alarm bells ringing, but strangely it made my morning pussy twitch, something most husbands know that females are partial to a morning shagging, 'I hop... Continue»
Posted by Fridagirl 11 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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A Shortie for Susan - Part 2

Andy was in the shower stroking his cock, remembering the amazing fuck with his Math Tutor Bendy Bindi yesterday afternoon. In his imagination he could still feel her hot thighs pressing into his arse and her hands pinning back his ankles as she took him in the Amazon position. Just when he couldn’t imagine it getting any hotter, Susan his step-mum appeared in the shower, standing behind him, pressing her tits into his back and gripping his slippery cock.

“What are we going to do with you, you naughty boy? I bet you’re thinking about fucking that Indian slut Bindi again. Well ... Continue»
Posted by dasx2 11 months ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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That's What He Said

I saw a brown man sitting on the back step of a lorry in the drizzle of an English music festival. It was Thursday morning, the 27th of August 2015.

''Would you like some rum?” were the first words he said to me. A lot more words followed over the course of a very d***ken weekend.

“I have a girlfriend. She's called Scarlett... I love her, I think. I mean, she's really hot. She's an 18-year-old online stripper you see... bit of a nightmare though, she's really c***dish.”

“What do you expect from an 18-year-old?” I laughed. “How old are you?”

“32. I was born on Christmas Day 1982. I ... Continue»
Posted by GeorgiaSalim 11 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  

All These Years!

We finally talked 15 years after the divorce.

Much of what is here is fiction. It is set in an alternate universe where the laws are slightly different. If any of you is a lawyer and would like to correct on legal facts, please go ahead. Just remember, this story is not about reality. This story is for the enjoyment to those who have been duped and plundered by cheating bitches and honorable courts.

She got down from her car and walked towards the house. She is not as beautiful as she was once. She is not as young as she was once either. She, however, is still the same bitch who p... Continue»
Posted by magas911 11 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  

Thanks to a First Aid Course and the Twins

My thanks to a First Aid Course and the Twins (full story)

For those who don’t like long stories, I’m sorry but I hope you all enjoy.

Chapter 1

We’ve just finished an excellent meal at our favourite restaurant. My wife is sliding out of her chair as I pay the bill. Sam has a great body, even at 45. Tonight her dress is a striking little red number. The length is respectable but the cleavage displayed is outrageous. Her exposed bosom guaranteed us excellent service. I complement her once more for her stunning outfit. I can’t wait to get her home and her out of it – that’s another sto... Continue»
Posted by CanoePirate 11 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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just something everyone should know

'Revenge porn' i*****l under new UK law
13 October 2014
From the section Technology
Revenge porn concept imageImage copyrightPA
Image caption
The distribution of images and videos can be reported directly to the police
People who post so-called "revenge porn" pictures and videos on the internet could face two years in jail under a new law.
The new Criminal Justice and Courts Bill will have an amendment dealing specifically with the practice.
"We want those who fall victim to this type of disgusting behaviour to know that we are on their side," said Justice Secretary Chris Grayling.
P... Continue»
Posted by jenni_serves 11 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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"A Dream I Had"

"A Dream I Had"

"Just had a dream last night that felt like the most wonderful feeling I have ever felt. Have you ever dreamed & wished that you would never want to wake up? I did. I didn't want to wake up at all. The dream was about myself of course & a person, which I will not name at this point. But the dream s... Continue»
Posted by dateman303 11 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  

A Shortie for Susan

Susan arrived home late from a hard day at the office – well her boss had been hard most of the morning, staring down the top of her dress.

Susan expected Andy – her 16-year old step-son to be studying hard for his maths exam next week.

Susan didn’t expect to see Andy with his hand down the front of the pale blue jeans of a very attractive 20-something Indian beauty. She was his maths tutor – she had short-cropped black hair, sensuous brown skin and a wicked smile. Her tight white jumper, pulled up over her small breasts exposed a swathe of flat brown abdomen leading the eyes down to a d... Continue»
Posted by dasx2 12 months ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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A Girl alone in Rome, with 4 large cocks.

A little message to you the readers.

I am a girl, a female, I have tits and a pussy, and I love porn. OK we have that tiny piece of gender out of the way. I like to try to please, and to those men I shall never meet, I want to seduce you with my words and dirty thoughts, just to show you we girls like a bit of fun too.

Admittedly we are the receivers, we let you put your cocks inside us and thrill to feel your seed try to impregnate us, it's a big gamble but it's a big part of the dominance theme, to allow a man to 'Bareback' you, and walk home feeling his semen run out of ... Continue»
Posted by Fridagirl 12 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Seduced by My Ex-Girlfriend's Mom

My name is John. I have always been a fairly well-balanced, healthy, and All-American boy. Six-two, 185 pounds, athletic body, blond hair, blue eyes. Good f****y, normal relationships, all that jazz. When I was 27 years old I met and became involved with a girl named Jen. She was 22 at the time. The relationship started off with a bang and was balls to walls all the way. She was a piece of work. After about a year the ride got a little too wild and I jumped off. I broke up with her. But things got even wilder after that.

Jen was very attractive. Maybe 5-6, thin frame, sexy long legs, good r... Continue»
Posted by Itheswag 12 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Sex in the Car and Getting Caught!

This actually happened and is 100% real! The location is Ontario Airport in Ontario CA.

I had just come home from a business trip and after a week was hornier than hell. This was in 2000, I was 42 at that time so was my wife. I had to travel maybe 4-6 times a year and really did not like it.
We had a little phone sex while I was gone and she always knew each time I traveled that I wanted her to "dress up" in some new sexy lingerie to meet me at the airport. I was always excited to see what new "uniform" or outfit she would be wearing, plus it added to our already large sexy lingerie coll... Continue»
Posted by coolboomer 12 months ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Read on for 50 witty, poignant, and just plain fam

1. “I don’t know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”
― Woody Allen
2. “Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.”
― Oscar Wilde
3. “Good sex is like good bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”
― Mae West
MORE: The Beginner’s Guide to Kinky Sex
4. “If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.”
― Frank Zappa
5. “It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.”
― Jarod Kintz, $3.33
6. “Sex is the most fun you can have without ... Continue»
Posted by AntGeisha 12 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  

Summer Lawns chapter 6

Chapter 6

Charles was far from happy with the situation. Should he just take off and start a new life, outside the area, where no one could catch him? He quickly realized that was not on the cards, as this was the only life he had right now. After all, what else would he do? Charles was pleased he had kept his nerve and stayed. For on her return Sandra announced they were going on holiday.

“Just the two of us, we can stay on our yacht in the South of France.”

“I haven’t got a passport!” insisted Charles with a start.

“I knew,” laughed Sandra, “that you would thi... Continue»
Posted by zeff999 12 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  

A poetic story and a joke.

I have been going through a terrible time for so many years.
I can't go into details about what happened to me, because I'm not supposed to.
One day I will tell my wives about it. One day we will all lie in bed together and talk of the things I suffered.
But allow me to describe those many sexual events in a poetic way.
It was like being in a plane piloted by a fool. A girl. He parents are the best of their generation. I was still a baby when they were making history.
They could not accept that history is not exclusive to their generation.
They thought that if they were uncivilized it wo... Continue»
Posted by Satan_Quin 12 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  

Me And Bhabhi Four Times Lovely Sex

one day it was raining very heavily and I was in my room and my bhabhi came fully wet from outside and knocked the main door and when I opened I saw my bhabhi’s sexy and hot curves, she had wore red sari and blouse and from there I had dream to have her sexy body in my arms. I had scanned her from top to bottom and I think she had noticed me staring her.

After seeing her in this situation I had masturbate in my room. In lunch period she called me to have lunch and she had told me my b*****r has gone for some office tour for 10 days. As I heard this something happened to me and started think... Continue»
Posted by fukkerguy 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  

I Almost Got KILLED For Sex !!

-So a few years ago i knew a girl , let's call her "Y" and she was very attractive the kind that make men turn their heads on the street BUT she was filthy too , and i don't mean that in a bad way , i mean she used to say the dirtiest things you can imagine , stuff that makes men blush and feel like little girls , for example the first time i ever met here outside the school we both went to was on the beach in a place called "6th October City" here in Alexandria, Egypt, So i barely knew her, me her and a couple of friends, we were laughing and joking around and all of a sudden she tells me in ... Continue»
Posted by joe4ueg 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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I hope I get it right this time. My politics are not for my entertainment. Still I'm not very good at being truthful about how I see the things going on in this world. I have been exposed to pornography in the past but I thought that my interest in it was only temporary, like the appearance of smoke from someone smoking a cigarette.
The smoke disappears from sight. That is how I dealt with pornography. I watched it and then threw it into the garbage. I exposed myself to it and then banished it from sight. I did not believe that I had a permanent interest in sexual hedonism, I told myself that... Continue»
Posted by Satan_Quin 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Summer Lawns Chapter 5

Chapter 5

As the grass grew that summer he came to terms with her complex moods, and gained her trust, something her husband had never done. They never actually became lovers, but Sandra never seemed to mind his dog-like devotion, and for Charles it was better than nothing.

Of course all this sex and gardening had filled Charlie’s head so much, he was oblivious to the rest of the world. It was almost like waking from a dream the day he went back into the village pub. He had even moved into the rooms above the old stables, which cut him off from the rest of the world. Sudd... Continue»
Posted by zeff999 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  

Elevator Roulette

As we entered our hotel I whispered 'Do you want to play elevator roulette?' into the ear of Joanne my sexy milf lady friend. 'What's that?' she asked.

We were returning from a hot night at a club. Joanne's only clothing was a short red dress that only reached to the top of her thighs was cut low at the front and was fastened only by a zipper that ran down the front from the V of her cleavage to the hem. The toggle on the zipper had been on the move all night. Once, when we were dancing close I moved it all the way down to her waist so as we danced, cheek to cheek, I could feel her hard nip... Continue»
Posted by PeterPiper65 1 year ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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