One day Lois came home from the store,Peter was still at work,Chris and Meg were still at school and Stewie was fast asl**p in his bedroom.She called out for Brian I got some of your favorite treats at the store Brian!Come sit on my lap Brian,she petted him and brushed his fur,say Brian how would you like to use that long K9 tongue on my hungry red bush?"Would I Lois",I thought you'd never ask!Lois slid her pants off and tossed her panties on the floor.Ooh I'm getting so wet thinking about your tongue on my pussy Brian leaned in tasting the musky damp wetness between Lois's thighs,he began to ... Continue»
Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 107
The Italian Job 8
The second part of this tale involves the interpreter “I know, I know” I can hear you all saying “Oh not another fucking interpreter” but hear me out and draw your own conclusions after.
Mrs Chikolova was supposed to be our interpreter for the duration of the job but it turned out that she could hardly speak any English although she could read it but no one else could speak any English so no one knew she couldn’t, to look at her you would have thought she was a middle aged spinster but she was indeed married, she was in the habit of wearing dark blue dresses that had small ... Continue»
lol when i first lost my virginity it was so cool. my cousin and b*o set it up all for me. it was one night in oshkosh wisconsin i went up to my cousin apartment and we were all chillin smoking and drinking and it was this thick redbone from millwakue wisconsin- boi was she thick. anyway everybody leave the room and we're talking.
She say, "let's see what you tawking about" and im like, "aight" so she say, "let's go in the room" and im like, "ight" so knwing us we go in the room and start kissing. im tipsy off the Amsterdam and her tongue all on my mine while were kissing and shit. lol ... Continue»
i will tell u my story! Sex with friends s****r
when i was 13 my friend's s****r is 8 year elder to me and him and her boobs is round and sexy, her armpits is very smelly and hairy. I often go his house to meet him but side-by-side I want to see his s****r. One day I had gone to his house and his s*s is sl**ping in pajama and her pajama (nightwear) is torn from her panty side and her panty is clearly visible. but i do nothing. After one week i go to his house nd that time he is not in house only his elder s****r is in house lonely in cut sleeves Kurti(top)nd in pajama(bottom wear) she say ... Continue»
Apart from this, the perfect girlfriend is a career-minded woman who earns more than their partner but at the same time wants to stay at home and bring up the c***dren.
The clue to these seemingly contradictory demands lies in the men polled, 3,000 bachelors.
Near the top of their girlfriend checklist is the requirement that she should have a "pert bottom" – which may explain why they are still single.
And while three-quarters of the men polled said their ideal woman would keep her weight in check, 89 per cent also wanted her to tuck into a big meal without worrying. These perfect ... Continue»
Want to perk up your love life? Well, then start from the kitchen with food that will give you the oomph factor, says an expert.
Hormone and anti-ageing specialist Cecilia Tregear says that sex plays an important role in making people look and feel younger.
Tregear, who is based at the Wimpole Skin Clinic in Harley Street, London, has worked with hundreds of couples over the course of her 25-year career.
"The couples who were having lots of regular sex almost always looked younger than those who weren't. They were also slimmer, fitter, healthier and happier. Sexual activity, in my vie... Continue»
A lot of women love have their pussy licked as much as or even more than having a cock fill their cunt. And if you have a man who loves to go downtown every chance he can get, great! But what do you do if your man either won't do it, won't do it right or long enough or if he treats pussylicking as something obligatory and a mere prelude to sticking his cock up your twat? Well, don't just complain. As a guy who LOVES to give head, here's some advice about what you can do to get your man to adore eating you for as long as you can stand! First of all,
1. Initiate Sex:
Are you horny? Do ... Continue»
well let me tell you about lee my uncles ex and the mother of cindy his daughter wich sort of makes her my aunt but they didn't get married.
were talking 5ft6" brunnete large brown eye"s cant describe them as tit's
more like humongous boobs we are past dd i think they were at least f cups a
genuine bbw just awsome.
well lets start the story.
well im asl**p well sort of hafway to waking up.
ah yes the usual morning hardon the painfull morning missile.
i release the bastard from my jocks ah thats better but not quite.
i chuck the covers of yes much better give the bugger a couple of s... Continue»
When i was 15 i was going through the womanly changes in life that all of my friends have gone through. I was the only one with the tits of a 12 year old and who has yet to get their period. (i know its odd but still) I wanted to belong it was like a club that i NEEDED to be a memeber of. Late one fall evening i came home from school with an itch that needed to be sctratched.
I waited until my parents were asl**p. I lay in my bedroom and get into my bed, still horny my fingers did their walking down my left thigh and my right snaked its way up the right. All i did ... Continue»
Right i thought, ill get this last job sorted then race home and have the house to myself for an hour or so before the wife gets in. Both the k**s are away so i thought ill enjoy some sexy time alone. I rushed home and swung the van into the first space i could find. When i jumped out my freshly shaven cock was already starting to pulsate as i thought about my beautiful wives sexy panties in the wash basket just waiting to be explored.
I kicked of my shoes and dropped my trousers releasing my massive hard throbbing cock, and went upstairs. I reached into the wash basket and found 3 pairs o... Continue»
One night I was home alone with my wife's mother Regina. She had flown out to visit us from back east for a few weeks. On this perticular night Tammy was at a Bikram Yoga class and her mother was alone at our house. I was supposed to be working late at the office preparing for a merger our company was soon to undergo but some complications came to light and things were going to be delayed so I was able to leave early.
Regina thought she was going to have the place to herself, was in our living room, drinking champagne, snorting lines of cocaine, watching porn and preparing to fuck herself w... Continue»
SALLLLL! , IMMM HOOMEEEE!" the loud shrieking voice shattered the silence of quiet Saturday afternoon. Meg slammed the door and trotted across the living room in her open toe high heels, unloading an assortment of expensive looking shopping bags. "Thats funny... heyyyy! is anyone home?" her voice boomed up the stairs into the second floor rooms disrupting her 16 year old son from his daily masturbation rituals. He lay naked on his bed trying to block out her loud cries stroking his young cock. ( shut up.. will ya) he thought starting to get frustrated with her questions interrupting his tango ... Continue»
The Italian Job 7
Earlier in the story I told you about my visit to Czechoslovakia and the fact that the people were so curious well! I am going to put this story in here as I have already mentioned it and it is a bit lighter than the last one and may I hope go some way to helping you to forgive me if I have offended any of you.
It was still Czechoslovakia in those days and the company I was working for as a commissioning engineer had sold some equipment to an industry there, everything came under the banner of Skoda Industries, and I had to go there because the engineer who had started the ... Continue»
1. You have a lawnmower repair company on speed dial.
2. Double #1 if they offer 24 hour emergency service.
3. There is a sudden drop in the local sheep population and you can't seem to explain all the bl**dy wool in the house.
4. You go to the local dog park to get dates. And maybe meet some people, too.
5. Oil trucks make weekly deliveries to your home, even though you have gas heat.
6. Hardware store clerks know better than to ask "What sort of project is this for?"
7. You browse through small appliances looking for "inspiration."
8. You have a lifetime ban from dog sho... Continue»
The Italian Job 6
This story contains some reference to what can only be described as c***d abuse so if you are of a nervous disposition or hate anything of this nature then close it now but as it is a part of the overall tale then I must tell it, I apologise in advance if I offend anyone, it is not intentional.
I returned to the village and as suspected faced an inquisition from Maria, she wanted to know all about my weekend with Rosanna, what was her house like?, did she really live alone?, was it wild sex?, was anyone else there?, and last but not least did I prefer Roseanna to Maria or ... Continue»
It was early in the morning when we heard the sound of doors opening and shutting. It was our new neighbors,moving in the house next door. Behind the van was a car that had a f****y of three.There was a tall man,well tanned and well groomed. Beside him stood a very sexy woman. She looked as if she was bi-racial. She had shoulder length hair and full healthy looking breast. They also had a small c***d,about the age of five.
"Look hun. The new neighbors are here." I said. Mike just moaned and rolled back over.When he finally decided to get up,he walked over to the window. He could see the mover... Continue»
She stirred and pressed the bell beside her bed, the maid came in carrying a bottle of water and a bottle of wine with glasses, she set them down on the coffee table and left snatching a brief glance in my direction, I moved to the bed and poured some water for both of us then handed Roseanna a glass she was quieter now and more settled, I put the sheet over her, leaned down and kissed her, she opened her eyes, they were glazed, she turned her face up to me and I kissed her on the mouth as her tongue came out seeking mine, my cock lurched and we were up and running again.
OK!!!!!, OK I’ll t... Continue»
When I was in grade 11 in high school I went for a holiday to Krom River with a few friends of mine. We were three boys and four girls. During the day we would water ski and have drinks on the boat. As we became d***k we all became horny and would fuck around on the boat. Helen was into blowjobs and she would suck one of us off, while Tiekie was madly into anal. One of us would oblige and fuck her ass, she always had lube with her. Greta was bi and she would let one of us fuck Karen, while Greta sat on her face or licked Karen's asshole.
At night we made a fire and had a braai, drinking aga... Continue»
After getting some pizza and soda, I headed back home to think this over. If my thoughts were really controlling people then I have 3 basic questions. 1) How far can I push my ability? 2) How many people can I control at one time? And 3) How far can I push them? I wanted to bug the girl next door again, but she had something important in the morning. As I was walking into my apartment a very busty, full figured redhead steamed out of the front door. She nearly knocked me over in her haste and haughtily apologized. "Hold on beautiful. whats the rush?" She rolled her beautiful green eyes and sa... Continue»
A few weeks ago Wifey came home from work she announced to me that she was feeling as horny as hell!. Due to a being downed with a huge dose of the 'flu from hell' I'd been neglecting her for a couple of weeks or three, consequently she was now feeling pretty much deranged with sexual need. Thinking about sex all day while she was at work she'd decided to run the gauntlet of catching the last dregs of my flu by shamelessly seducing me when she came home .
Seemingly unsure of how to proceed she finally threw caution to the wind and came to sit close by me as I sat on the sette... Continue»