Feedback
Old xHamster
Welcome to New xHamster!
We've redesigned your favorite tube site. But you still can switch to the old version using this button if you like.

Sex Humor Porn Stories

Post to a depressed mate

First TimeSex Humor

This is what I posted to a mate has issues attracting a female. He is disabled, yet all parts work. This site has many people, some of whom are real and caring. Maybe someone there can also advise him. He is a human being and though I've never been in his situation, could use some positive words. G'day. Sir, Stop believing no woman will want you. Make them want you. They want a nice guy but select bad boys because they don't know what to expect from nice guys. I lost a soulmate as she was afraid my commitment was real and I also didn't want to change her sexually. Go to my page… Read more

Posted by asianflyer 4 years ago 1 499 67%

Find your black man/white woman/white man match at

FetishInterracial SexSex Humor

OK, this was a "project" given to me by a good friend, thought I'd share it here! FOR THE RECORD: I have never actively participated in the "cuckold" lifestyle, although I am intrigued by it...probably my biggest fantasy (outside of being the towel-girl for the Kenyan jr college basketball team) has always been: having a white guy watching me have sex with a black guy...enjoy! CUCKMATCH.COM! Helping White Men to Learn Their Place! Hello (new member)! You have a new message from: Mandi Lou at Cuckmatch.com!… Read more

Posted by mandilou0303 4 years ago 22 2,808 85%

Beautiful Nightmare Part 2 (Dawn of the Dildos)

FetishSex Humor

The purple desert landscape gave way to distant hills with strange phallic bushes, some red some black some yellow,like spikeless cactus actually reminded me of double headed rubber dildos or is that a lezzy fantasy in the making, guess beside the hunger pains I was feeling lonely, as the marble tiles gave way to a gravel terrain, my mind went to my fuck me pumps, they are getting ruined, at this point I stopped retrieved the odd remote gizmo from my bag. The symbols meant nothing to me so I went random pushing away a strange hologram appeared before me , brill a guide to the planet! The hol… Read more

Posted by DiamondLife 4 years ago 857 100%

The first day to school, part 1.

First TimeLesbian SexSex Humor

The first day to school, where I really do not feel like after that wonderful weeks on vacation in Rome. I really reluctantly went to school and then I had to also introduce my self to all the new people. Phew! I pulled me nothing and looked around to find. Place a free Back I saw an empty seat and I walked past the other students back to the table at the back of the room, where I then took place. I looked a bit around me and saw people chatting with each other, it was mainly girls I saw sitting. Completely in the other corner of the room I saw a girl like me who, it seemed, no one kne… Read more

Posted by soesar 4 years ago 1,135 75%

Beautiful Nightmare(ORGASMUS AND BEYOND)

FetishSex Humor

After my re-occurring dream I want to tell all about my Beautiful Nightmare! It starts quite innocently enough all alone in a bar with a cellar an eerie blue glow appears under the gap of the door, your beloved barmaid in her tight leather skirt and flouncy blouse with her black lace corset and stockings underneath teeters over on her five inch fuck me pumps. Curiosity killed the cat... The blue light begins to pulsate. "What the Fuck is going on" I thought as I grasped the porcelain door knob and opened the door, a dryness in my throat was it fear or excitement my heart beat faster as I d… Read more

Posted by DiamondLife 4 years ago 430

Cathy,s Thong lacy underwear !!

MatureSex Humor

Hi all this is my first story so please leave comments. First of all this is and 100% true story as all of mine will be. This all started to give you some back ground in and place called Ocean City Maryland. I was on vacation with my mother at the beach on 32nd street right ocean front with and great balcony view of the girls sun bathing ahhh yes. At this time I am and teenager myself and so is the young lady in this story. I met some other guys the same age as me and we all had and laugh looking at the bades sunning with there sun tanned perfect shaped tans. One of the guys said to… Read more

Posted by newz777 4 years ago 4 3,660 88%

Zhaan

Sex Humor

I slumped wearily down in the bus seat and quietly dreaed the lengthy walk from the bus stop to my apartment....and dreaded more that my girlfriend Neela would be waiting there to resume the discussion we started earlier in the day and one that was becoming more contentious. Marriage was the topic. I have been dting Neela for over a year now, six months of that we have been living together despite the fact that her parents were more than a little angry with her that she had not found a good Indian man to become invovlved with. She made those sacrifices for me so why was I dragging my feet abou… Read more

Posted by slappywag64 4 years ago 527 100%

Dogging Mistress from out of space !

Group SexLesbian SexSex Humor

I'd never held with all that conspiracy theory; sure I'd watched star trek, sure I could do the Vulcan sign, and if Captain kirk pyjamas make me a geek, then I'm a geek. But I'd never really believed it was true; all the flying saucer and alien a*****ion brigade, screwballs and fruitcakes..... or that's what I thought, but not now, not after what happened last night, not anymore, now I'm a believer b*****rs and s****rs. Because last night my girlfriend fucked and an alien, and I think I may have sucked its cock. Picture the scene if you will; it's an overcast muggy, sweaty night at our loca… Read more

Posted by FannyandNobby 4 years ago 1,098 30%

My Weekend With My Step-s****r

Sex HumorTabooVoyeur

As a youngster I had 2 b*****rs, one a year older and one a year younger. And until I entered puberty I thought that was enough. But when my body started acting differently I knew I wanted more. Thankfully when I was a late adolescent my mother remarried and I earned a step-b*****r and a steps****r. At first they were kind of standoffish but soon we all began to get along great. And thankfully my step-s****r and I seemed to hit it off the best. I think the main reason for that was her b*****r was a lot older than her and treated her like a little k**. However, my step-s****r was the same age a… Read more

Posted by bigsoftee 4 years ago 9 7,685 90%

He knew that I once dreamed of a trio

First TimeGroup SexSex Humor

I was very nervous, did not know why I had come, but I am someone who is looking for excitement, so I went for it. He lives in a nice house, I called and he answered. Wow still the same as I could imagine, long wide his head shaved and that allowed him horny. Once inside, he looked at me, took my hand and took me upstairs. He was very busy so directly. Once upstairs he kissed me, just turned around, took something and turned back to me, he kissed me again and as he did that I was handcuffed. The tingling ran through my body, he ran his fingers over my legs, moaned that when he felt the sle… Read more

Posted by soesar 4 years ago 1,468 100%

Happy Ending from a Girl on Backpage.com

FetishSex HumorTaboo

I found an ad in Backpage.com for a gal who gives a nice massage with a Happy Ending; and she does them in her own home. The best part is the regular massage for 60 minutes was only $40 and the 90 minute Happy Ending massage was only an extra $40. Not a bad deal at all. But, I've never had one at a gal’s home before; they have always been in some “massage parlor” shop. I wasn't too sure about getting a Happy Ending massage if there might be someone in the house who might be listening or watching, especially since I don't know if they might the local LEO's hiding. Well, my fears were wasted. Sh… Read more

Posted by bigsoftee 4 years ago 17 4,509 100%

Flashing the Maid During Her Interview

MasturbationSex HumorVoyeur

Though I am retired and stay at home all day my wife and I discussed hiring a maid. We had wanted to hire one that was somewhat young, strong, and most of all quick to do her work as long as she was also efficient; not some old lady who would take all day long to do one room. I had already seen 4 or 5 other girls but didn't hire like any of them. Being an exhibitionist I was having fun and flashed the gals to see how uninhibited they might be. A few of them immediately avoided looking at my crotch again while a couple actually looked a few times but never took the situation any further.… Read more

Posted by bigsoftee 4 years ago 6 2,569 100%

My audacious girl friend

First TimeSex HumorTaboo

I had this girlfriend once upon a time, who loved to tease me and who loved to do crazy dangerous things that could get us caught. I guess the getting caught part just added spice to our sex, but she often would do crazy things with her own f****y nearby! It wasn't long after we first met. I guess we hadn't been on more than four or five dates. We'd gotten past the huggy bear, kissy face stage, and I was beginning to get more bold, but she wouldn't let me go any farther than feeling her up. Almost anything would be good except undressing her. We were starting to be a couple. W… Read more

Posted by George178 4 years ago 7 2,546 100%

cyber sex

Sex Humor

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like? Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like? Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me? Wellhung: OK Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stere… Read more

Posted by musclecock 4 years ago 2 661 50%

First time cheating and getting deep-throated

First TimeSex Humor

My names james, im in my early twenties and i figured id tell contribute a story of mine =) This story is TRUE I was 17 year old. I had been with a few girls, and gotten my share of blowjobs from the girls at the catholic school i attended. One of the last girls i had been with my junior year, this girl christina, her mother had gotten remarried at the beginning of the school year, and her new father and steps****rs would be moving in and starting at our school. Christina was a total babe in highschool. Petite latina girl with long brown hair, about 5'4" 125 athletic bui… Read more

Posted by jedimindtrickery 4 years ago 1 3,783 86%

Worth continuing? let me know and i'll write

MatureSex HumorVoyeur

My neighbour Karen is 59 years i think, a real nice lady, good looking, always tanned and make up that makes her look slutty but in a nice way, always has her long chestnut waist length hair nicely trimmed and i thought it was probably dyed, but found out last week that her hair is still naturally chestnut, i'll come to how i found that out in a little while, this was a day i shall never forget, and i am having to stop every once in a while whilst writing this pop my nose over the hedge to see if she is out by the pool again today, but while i am hoping for he to show, i shall tell you all abo… Read more

Posted by 1peace 4 years ago 2 2,061 57%

One Knight Stand

AnalSex HumorTaboo

A couple of years ago, I was at a high level meeting. I'd come up with a business idea, I'm not going to tell you what it is because it would make me too easy to find, and as it's made me £488,000 GBP so far I am not LIKELY to tell you AM ?!! Big boss was most impressed, and asked me to stay after to discuss it. He's a sir. I don't mean we call him sir, but he IS a sir. A proper knighted knight. I shall call him Sir Robert. We sat alone in his inner office, going over the idea over and over, googling it, had anyone else got it, they must have ! But they didn't seem to.… Read more

Posted by lyn_hornygirl 4 years ago 6 1,831 100%

First Time

First TimeSex HumorTaboo

FIRST TIME I couldn’t believe I said yes to this and I actually went through with it. I laid naked on the bed, covering my breasts with one hand and the other covering my pussy. He wasn’t a bad looking guy but I couldn’t bring myself to having sex with someone else, I’ve only had my husband in me and I was afraid. “Is this your first time?” he asks caressing my right hand which is over my breasts. I shook my head up and down “well don’t worry honey, we don’t have to if you don’t want to” those words made me feel a bit more at ease, he gently remove my right hand above my breasts and place i… Read more

Posted by dlbiblkm 4 years ago 3 3,259 80%

Freewill 504: Part 8 Campus Slut

BDSMSex Humor

Freewill 504: Part 8 Campus Slut (By Chris A) Disclaimer: If you are u******e and/or easily offended by stories of an adult nature, then you should probably go away. This story and characters are purely fictitious, and any similarity to persons living or dead is purely coincedental. Any one who believes they should try and recreate these situations and events in a real life situation needs to get serious help. With that said: enjoy! It was a warm spring evening as I walked across the center of the campus toward my final evening class. I don't know what possessed me to take a 7:30 class t… Read more

Posted by tzrlvr 4 years ago 1,044 70%

Freewill 504: Part 9 Brenda's Back

BDSMSex Humor

Freewill 504: Part 9 Brenda's Back (By Chris A) Disclaimer: If you are u******e and/or easily offended by stories of an adult nature, then you should probably go away. This story and characters are purely fictitious, and any similarity to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Any one who believes they should try and recreate these situations and events in a real life situation needs to get serious help. With that said: enjoy! It had been two weeks since the night that Laura and Jamie had sent me off slutting through the campus and in those two weeks my anger had continued to gro… Read more

Posted by tzrlvr 4 years ago 870 60%