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Sex Humor Porn Stories

Fifty Shades of Stockholm Syndrome Chapter 1

Sex Humor

Chapter 1 An introduction of sorts Julian Beige was the toast of the art world, everything he did was a hit from his seminal work “My favourite wank blanket” to “Hey dude where’s the toilet paper”. His fortune kept on rising he was the most bankable artist on the planet. But, Julian had a problem he had no one to fill the hole in his life. Of course Julian liked to fill holes from his “lying naked with lots of naked girls” in which he had to spend eight hours having to endure naked girls covered in baby oil from the ages of 18 to 23 rubbing themselves against him. He did mull about “lying na… Read more

Posted by coltheharve78 4 years ago 1 1,130

The name's James Hard-on. Part I

BDSMGay MaleSex Humor

In case you are wondering, this is a James Bond gay spoof. Riding in a personal e****t vehicle and in the back, I felt nice and cozy in my suit and white tie. I looked down as I sat in the large seat and could feel a nice poking in my black trousers. A nice tent rising up to meet me as I got comfy in my dress slacks. Damn it felt so good to be horny! The portable screen in front of me shut on and a white haired woman named B appeared. I almost closed my legs at the surprise. I was never used to that woman showing up unexpectedly. "James Hard-on." "That's my name." "Enough of your je… Read more

Posted by damlovmature 4 years ago 1 1,289 100%

Ex-girlfriend Sarah the exhibitionish, Story 5

Sex HumorVoyeur

My ex-girlfriend’s boyfriend is now really pi**ed off by this blog about her. Well, let me see if I can annoy him even more, by telling all you guys about how she flaunted her naked body to two guys. I used to be a keen amateur photographer and for my birthday, Sarah agreed to model for me at a photographic studio in the city of Bath, in the UK. She said ‘Let’s take a bottle of wine with us. I loose my inhibitions a lot more after a drink or two’. Oh boy, did she! We arrived at the studio and were greeted by the two guys who ran it, one old, one in his 20’s. They had set the photographic… Read more

Posted by KevinGraves2 4 years ago 1,076 100%

TOT Part 8 Spunky Socks

Gay MaleMasturbationSex Humor

The following weekend we headed down to the Caravan on the Thursday afternoon Mum, Dad, Me and Jamie. My oldest b*****r John was not interested in the caravan he wanted to stay home on his own, probably having wild parties. As soon as we arrived at the campsite I wanted to go straight to the shower room but of course I could not it would have looked very suspicious. I checked Barry’s caravan but no one was there, even the games room was very quite only two older guys playing pool were there, Me and Jamie wandered about the site but we never saw any of the crowd that had been there the w… Read more

Posted by talesofted 4 years ago 824 100%

The first time for a nerd like me

AnalFirst TimeSex Humor

Hello all. This is the funny, but sexy story of my very first time. before starting i'd like to let you all to know that i was 14 when i first lost my virginity. and prior to my first time i had next to no idea about sex. i was raised kinda proper and didn't have any real knowledge of sex outside of a very small amount of porn. that and i was 5'6 so kinda tall for my age. OK on with the show! It starts with around October. Heavily tired from both a long school day and long day of football practice i began to walk my way back home from the school. wearing the normal team jersey and some blac… Read more

Posted by overlorddlz 4 years ago 3 3,772 90%

My s****r friend.

MasturbationSex Humor

This is a short story about my first sexual experience. Happened when I was 15. My s****r was the year above me at school. She was one of the popular ones mainly because everyone wanted to fuck her, which most of my mates liked to remind me as often as they could. Didn't feel that way myself, but that did mean she had some hot mates. One of them was Susan, she had long brown hair, nice smile and hazel eyes that could gave a suggestive dirty wink. Susan and my s****r were working on a school assignment over a weekend. So it was agreed that Susan would stay the weekend. This was the fi… Read more

Posted by alleno1980 4 years ago 2 4,461 100%

How I control my Master...!

BDSMMasturbationSex Humor

He always calls right about now. Nighttime's darkest moment, when only the desperate are awake. Naked under the covers my body aches from use but hums with anticipation. Twenty-one years old, it’s never felt so alive. Like I knew it would, the phone rings, it’s him. He’s looking for a fix, a little naughtiness before sl**p. A thousand miles away, he breathes into my ear, the opening moments of a familiar ritual with a different twist every time. We met over the summer. Right after I broken up with my college boyfriend. I was inexperienced; he was not. Battered but handsome, he took my fres… Read more

Posted by pujaraje 4 years ago 5 1,179 100%

Caught FUCKING my Chinese Girlfriend in the backse

HardcoreInterracial SexSex Humor

This is a true story and I’ve accompanied it with some pictures in my gallery – so please take a look! LiuChen was one of my Chinese girlfriends. I was her first lover and I busted her virginity in the backseat of my Ford Expedition. It was quite hard laying atop her body and penetrating her on that stiff bench seat, but I managed. She and I didn’t live close together so I didn’t like having to take her to my house, fuck and then take her back home where her retired parents resided. Every now and then they’d leave on vacation or to f****y functions and I’d come over and wear LiuChen’s pu… Read more

Posted by violentwhiteman 4 years ago 3 3,398 74%

Me with Husband

MatureSex Humor

“Priya, Did you suck his cock?” my husband asked me as he pinned me to the bed. “No”, I answered truthfully. “Did you want to?” he questioned. I hesitated. I had wanted to suck that man’s cock with every fiber of my being. Kneeling in front of his naked body had taken me to the edge of self-control. But I, I was a good wife. A wife who was grateful for the gifts given to her. A wife who knew her place. “Yes Dear.” I answered, hoping that my response did not anger him. Instead of angering him, he seemed amused. He leaned over me, kissed the corners of my mouth, and whispered into… Read more

Posted by piyareddy 4 years ago 32 1,974 96%

Just a movie

Sex Humor

"... and a large buttered popcorn." He finishes ordering, turns to me and asks, "Anything else?" "Chocolate," I answer, pointing to the box of nonpareils in the glass case. "Little bedazzled nipples," I whisper in his ear. His snort of laughter startles the clerk who smiles nervously as she completes our order. Gathering up our snacks, we head to the corridor behind the concession stand, walk down the dark hall and find the door. "Here okay?" he asks, pausing at a short row of seats tucked away in the very back of the room. Judging from their boisterous behavior, the handful o… Read more

Posted by Chris_total 4 years ago 596 75%

First Time Interracial Guy Anal Painfully Short

AnalFirst TimeSex Humor

My asshole is still aching every time I need to take a shit and I hold it, and it feels shamefully good when I go as it slides out my destroyed gaping ass. My cock has been getting rock hard when I notice the pain in my ass as I’m sitting in my meeting trying to re-adjust my position. It’s the perverted disgusting little things that made getting ****d worth it, but I guess you can’t really call it that when you ignore every instinct and put yourself in a situation like that. I was feeling horny, desperate, working a lot and stressed out… for whatever reason searched and actually found a dec… Read more

Posted by letsnotell 4 years ago 2 1,440 100%

Why do so many people want me to friend them?

Sex Humor

Why is it so many people want to be my friend? I mean seriously. You don't have to be friends with somebody in order to be friends. Some of my best friends aren't my friends, but we're really, REALLY GOOD friends. Then on the other hand, some of my friends aren't friends at all. We're just friends, is all. It's a shame, but that the way it is sometimes. So why do you want to be my friend? We don't know each other. Out of the clear blue you swoop down and say, "HEY! You want to be friends?" --I don't know you! For all I know, you could be an axe murderer! Or worse, you co… Read more

Posted by George178 4 years ago 6 1,235 72%

Anastasia

HardcoreSex Humor

Saturday morning and my phone rings. I look over to see who it was and it’s my s****r Quisha most likely wanting me to do something. Last week it was fix her pipes, the week before that fix the TV, not to mention she had her fine ass friend Alexandria over. But she couldn’t fix her lips to help me out and put in a word with her. I, Ramon, the helpful big b*****r was to the rescue. This time I said to myself that I wasn’t about to do shit. I let the call go to voicemail the first time. Then her worrisome ass had the audacity to call again. My guess is that she wasn’t gonna let me sl**p until I… Read more

Posted by bigshack 4 years ago 3 3,457 71%

The best class session. (continue)

HardcoreSex HumorVoyeur

We couldn't wait for the class to end. Even after cumming boy was I still horny. I wanted Jane really bad. She wasn't particularly good looking but there was smth in her that made a guy crazy. Maybe the way that she handled herself, maybe her long lingering looks. I don't know, but she sure as hell made every guy fantasize about her. There were a few times where I remember picturing her naked while pleasuring myself. But even in my wildest dreams I had never imagined all this to happen. Finally the class ended and the professor decided to let us go. I immediately turned towards her and said:… Read more

Posted by kujdes_shishen 4 years ago 1 1,688 80%

Worming, or I like tribbing with my girlfriend

First TimeSex Humor

It just occurred to me why I like tribbing. Tribbing, for those of you who don't know, is when two girls do a scissor lock on each others naked pussies. They rub their pussies together, causing pressure and some friction. Their clits make contact and they start to get wet, and then they slip and slide against each others creamy, dewy pulsating pussies. Erotic as hell! I start sneezing whenever I see it! I'VE tribbed with a girl! Yes sir, I'm a 110% hetero male, but I tribbed with my girl friend way back when the earth was flat and young people felt not pain or knew what it was like… Read more

Posted by George178 4 years ago 1 1,094 67%

The awakening (chapter 1)

First TimeSex Humor

The Awakening: Chapter 1 There are three remarkable things about this story. The first is the awakening of manhood. How a boy, whose age we’ll keep under wraps just in case people with higher moral conscience come banging on my door, became a man. How human imagination can open floodgates of thoughts and these thoughts culminate into elaborate dreams. The second remarkable thing would be how this imagination has no bounds. How it opens the gates to such immense possibilities without us realizing that sometimes all it takes is just a push! Before we start with how events of this story unfol… Read more

Posted by the_speculum 4 years ago 2 2,143 83%

THE PICTURE MAN!

MatureSex HumorTaboo

Yes I was nick-named the picture man. I had this traveling sales job years ago where I set up in department stores and signed up people to come in and have f****y pictures made. It was around 7:30 pm when I seen this Gorgeous woman enter the store, well I seen long dirty blond hair and a body that was built like no other.. and in minutes while talking to other customers she was gone. but on my mind. then 15 minutes later there she was walking my way, she got right next to my display, I taped her arm and as she turned around she looked to be about 60/70 years old by her face! I said you know yo… Read more

Posted by mrdoou 4 years ago 1 1,459 50%

MY FIRST TIME SEEING THIS DURING SEX

MatureSex Humor

Fast foward this shit im fucking this woman in the edge on the bed position and she is just literally goin crazy with her arms clench up against her chest with the sexy moans ever.She has this look in her face as though shes about to expload or sumthin I dont know...maybe she was just really enjoying the sex,but anyway I got her ass hanging off the bed with me holding both her legs up in my arms and I am standing up goin in her pussy like im suppose to and she still moaning like crazy with her hands flying everywhere.So all of a sudden she pushes my stomach back does a roll up out the bed....(… Read more

Posted by ahaha 4 years ago 7 1,998 81%

More Confessions of the Locker Room

Group SexLesbian SexSex Humor

With my sky blue sports bag in hand, I travelled to my football team's training ground. I made sure to arrive just before half 8 in the morning, ready for our 9am departure time to take on our next opponents in a crucial league game. As I walked, I kept thinking about what had happened between me and Hannah in the showers yesterday evening. I was a little nervous about what we'll say when we see eachother. I walked through the small iron gates and headed into the lunchroom where most of my teammates were sat about, talking and joking. "Hey Sam." Hannah called, sitting on top of the… Read more

Posted by LittleMissFart 4 years ago 1 2,304 100%

my wife, the bar girl

AnalHardcoreSex Humor

My ex wife Sheree and I used to play a game called "Bar Girl" where Sheree would dress up like a working girl in a short tight skirt and often a very lowcut top and a push up bra. She would carry a little purse on a long strap with $200-$300 in cash and an assortment of condoms and a lipstick and some gum and nothing else. She would go to a hotel bar in an area near the airport. She would hang out at the bar and nurse a drink until I came up and asked her the cost of a date and what was available in earshot of other bar patrons and the bartender. Well, she went to the bar all dressed up… Read more

Posted by georgiaslavemaster 4 years ago 2 3,534 100%