Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 76

My Stranger Fantasy

I'm watching you swim in the lake as I sip my drink. You don't know that I've been watching you every evening since you moved in. I don't even know your name, but it doesn't matter. I watch the muscles ripple across your chest and down your arms as you stroke over and over again swimming in the lake.

It makes my pussy clench just thinking of those muscles rippling as you thrust into me. As you swim back to shore and walk up to the towel you left with your clothes, I think of walking up to you and stripping out of my skirt and blouse. I watch in hunger as you dry off every inch of your body... Continue»
Posted by kap007 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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The Baby Sitter

Alissa has been babysitting for the Ross f****y for about a year. She is a senior in college, and babysits to earn extra money for books and other things she needed.

She is a very attractive 23 year old, with sexy blue eyes and short blonde hair. Mrs. Ross, and her husband Tom had called Alissa to babysit for them Saturday night.

She told Alissa she could use the guest bedroom, because they probably wouldn't be home until the wee hours of the morning. Alissa told her,

"No problem...have fun."

At around eleven Alissa grew tired of studying and watching TV. Rather than sit up and do... Continue»
Posted by kap007 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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You can call me DAD

Jack Barker watched his girlfriend's son go into the garage, and after making sure that his soon-to-be wife was in the bathroom, went out the back door and toward the garage. Jack had just moved into the modest old farmhouse a couple of days ago, although he had spent a lot of time there in the year he had been courting Alice Randolph.

Jack liked Alice Randolph a lot, but he also had another interest with the same last name, first name Patrick, and he had a sneaking suspicion that the skinny little lad had more than a little interest in him too.

Alice didn't know that her son was gay, mu... Continue»
Posted by kap007 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Ex-girlfriend Sarah the exhibitionist - true story

Okay new-boyfriend Chris, this is yet another true story about your new slutty girlfriend, Sarah. I hear you are still together. Good luck with thinking about her as a respectable young lady, once you’ve read this.

Sarah and I were on holiday, somewhere in The Canary Islands. We were in a hotel and the room was on the ground floor, with doors that led out to some grassed area, which we could walk through to get to the beach.

We had arrived on an early morning flight and once we got to the room and unpacked, Sarah said that she wanted to go to sl**p for a while. The room was hot an... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Tom's accident

“Comfortable, Dad?” Karen asked as her father eased himself as best he could with both arms and a leg in plaster and a a face that looked like it had gone ten rounds with Audley Harrison.

“Yes, love,” Tom said. “Sorry to be dumped on you like this.”

“It’s not a problem, Honestly! If I can’t look after my old dad in his hour of need, what kind of a daughter am I?”

“A good one. You always have been. Especially when your mother went. I don’t know how I’d have coped.”

Karen bent over and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

“Well, you just take it easy and I’ll make you a coffee.”
... Continue»
Posted by samvimes 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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truth or dare

I am not sure who suggested truth or dare but we all seemed up for it.

There were 6 of us all together you me and two other couples.
It started pretty tame, truths about hoe many people we had slept with, telling fantasies ect .....
I think everyone was getting a bit horny from listening to all this talk if sex and with quite a few drinks down our necks we were all up for some dare's!
One of the girls seemed a bit apprehensive when you asked her to show how she gives head on a banana so we came to an agreement that we would have teams. Boys against girls.
We all did the dare, i showed ... Continue»
Posted by nicecock23 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Real MILF I fucked in back of Walmart Parking lot

****This is my first story please check out the video that accompanies this story. I appologive for the video quality but read the story below and you will understand why.****

This is a real story that happened to me Saturday August 10 in Houston. I was at the Walmart in Sugarland picking up some plumbing supplies. I was alone in the aisle looking at supplies and my dick gets stuck in my boxer short opening while im bending over looking at products. I spend a second readjusting like all guys do and continue my shopping. A minute later I feel uncomfortable again so I loosen my belt reach... Continue»
Posted by dblacknhou 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Ex-girlfriend Sarah – exhibitionist story 7

Well, it’s time to really annoy my ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend, Chris, again, with even more evidence of what an exhibitionist slut she really is.

Sarah and I used to live together in the city of Bath (UK). Some Saturdays we would go to a café for morning coffee, in the city, to read the morning papers. One time we went there, Sarah was wearing a fairly short skirt, certainly above knee-length, which had a bit of a split up one side. We went into an open courtyard of the café, walking down some open, iron steps, almost like a fire escape to get to the tables. At the bottom was a ta... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Fifty shades of Stolkholm syndrome chapter 2 - Th


Helen got home and ran up the drive way excited, to see her parents. Her father sat in his chair pipe in hand and cloth cap looking grimly at her with a large black pudding in his hands,
“Eee by Gum a what news have you today?” he said in the least convincing Lancashire accent since Wallace and Gromit got lost there and tried not to stand out.
“Oh dad stop trying to be Northern” Helen said
“What but our roots are ‘up north we have worked for generations as …”
“As chartered accountants, face it we are as Southern as we can get with out being French Daddy and I wish you would stop it”
“... Continue»
Posted by coltheharve78 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Anna: Show And Don't Tell

-------- Anna Show And Don't Tell --------

During a morning coffee visit with my daughter-in-law Anna, she seemed a little sad. She finally admitted she was unhappy with her current life, the way she felt about herself. Her husband wasn't paying much attention to her, she was feeling old and unattractive.

I told her this isn't uncommon (avoiding the catch phrase "for women your age"), and I had a suggestion on how to change that. Interested, she listened as I explained.

"I've learned from other women her age and even older that the best way to feel attractive is to know a man wants... Continue»
Posted by cptfritz 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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MY first sex

This is my first blog and this story about having sex with my neighborhood girl in water when we had gone for a f****y trip. Myself Sam age 23 this happened to me this June She is my neighbor girl and she got married recently, I did sex with her when she came home for my s****r’s marriage. I obviously masturbated by thinking about her in my younger days. She is really hot with cute lips I always stare at and 36 size boobs and great navel point which I see through her saree. I longed for this day to touch her boobs and to taste her pussy and thighs. It was during the July month we arranged ... Continue»
Posted by sam90bond90 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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The names James Hard-on--Part III

It was just Willy and I. The so-called "Knob-Job" and I as we were about to have my biggest challenge yet. Changing a strict "straight-ey."

The man that sat in front of me giving me an arrogant stare was still handsome in my opinion. $0-ish male, very rude to the ladies, I wouldn't dare call him a "gentleman..." a pig maybe.

I used to hate that nickname but it fit this man nicely.

He had a disappointed tone in his voice. "So . . . what did you come here for?" I was a man not a "chick."

"First off I am surprised you didn't offer me a drink."

"I didn't think I had to seein... Continue»
Posted by damlovmature 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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me and [user]isabella28[/user]

just by watching your pics, you made me so horny and my immagination just came to life :P so here it cumms :P:)

"Damn, could it get any hotter?" Going for a walk seemed a good idea, but we underestimated the temperature and were melted. "I'm going to just fall in the pool," I said. "I'll grab something cold for us and meet you," you said, and ran into the house. You turned the yard lights off on the way in; the moon was bright enough to swim by. I stripped my sweaty clothes off and dove into the water.

As I floated around the pool I could see you in the kitchen, getting something from ... Continue»
Posted by henryp84 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  
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'I - I didn't - er - it wasn't me -

‘MARK! – come here!’ barks my wife Mandy.

I holler back ‘What is it now? – for God’s sake – I’m trying to get some work done here!’ (neglecting to state that the work I was engaged upon was trying to hack into my wife’s email account to spy on her extra-marital activities). I shuffle into the back garden from where Mandy was calling me.

‘Look at this – when you’ve finished playing with my underwear, please have the decency to clear up behind yourself! What would happen if my daughters were to come around the back of the house and find themselves confronted by the sight of your cum, splat... Continue»
Posted by phantompantywanker 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Volunteering Reward, Part 1

Was having a rough week at work when I received the corporate email that a volunteer opportunity was being offered to anyone who was willing to give a few hours of time on Thursday evening. Well with the week I was having and it only being Tuesday I thought why not, would help me appreciate more what I had compared to others in society.

So the day came and I arrived at the soup kitchen to help serve the hungry patrons a nutritious meal. Before we got started there was a brief meeting where we were given name badges to wear and briefly introduced our selves to the other volunteers.

We wer... Continue»
Posted by weskm 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Ex-girlfriend Sarah, exhibitionist, story 6

Now her new boyfriend is really, really annoyed about this blog about Sarah, my ex-girlfriend, so lets’ keep it going by another story about the horny bitch.

We were on holiday, somewhere on the Canary Islands. Lanzarote, I think. Two things happened on the holiday that her new boyfriend will hate to read about. I got a bit sunburnt one day, so the next day I couldn’t stay out in the sun too much. We were in a hotel room that overlooked some gardens with a lot of grassy areas and a few ponds. We had gone out to sunbath in the area of the gardens we could see from our room and after S... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The name's James Hard-on. Part II

This is a James Bond Gay spoof.

I answered it. "Hard-on here."

The boss B spoke. "Did you manage to find any evidence of Wadd?"

I smirked and pulled out the closed container of his white fluid. "Oh affirmative. I definitely 'managed' to pull it out of him. 3 pints of it possibly from my gues."

"Hard-on. You didn't."

"Well you wanted DNA, didn't you?"

"Yes but a simple skin sample would have sufficed."

"Yeah but what fun would that have done..." and I made a little titter. "Noblofeld is heading to Switzerland for some reason and I have to find out where exactly in or... Continue»
Posted by damlovmature 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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The Fishing Trip

Was a nice fall day so I went fishing at my favorite spot.

A secluded Stream with a waterfall that provided soothing sounds and nice pools of small deep holes where fish lurked
waiting for a worm to be dangled in front of them as a tempting morsel to satisfy there cravings.

I had been there for about an hour when a lady appeared, around 30 with shoulder length vibrant red hai

She greeted me with a Hello, Catching anything?

I said a few nibbles but no strikes.

What I was using for bait? ,She asked, Worms I replied, her reply, Worms are an enticing bait.

Do you mind if... Continue»
Posted by weskm 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Fifty Shades of Stockholm Syndrome Chapter 1

Chapter 1 An introduction of sorts
Julian Beige was the toast of the art world, everything he did was a hit from his seminal work “My favourite wank blanket” to “Hey dude where’s the toilet paper”. His fortune kept on rising he was the most bankable artist on the planet. But, Julian had a problem he had no one to fill the hole in his life. Of course Julian liked to fill holes from his “lying naked with lots of naked girls” in which he had to spend eight hours having to endure naked girls covered in baby oil from the ages of 18 to 23 rubbing themselves against him. He did mull about “lying na... Continue»
Posted by coltheharve78 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The name's James Hard-on. Part I

In case you are wondering, this is a James Bond gay spoof.

Riding in a personal e****t vehicle and in the back, I felt nice and cozy in my suit and white tie. I looked down as I sat in the large seat and could feel a nice poking in my black trousers. A nice tent rising up to meet me as I got comfy in my dress slacks. Damn it felt so good to be horny!

The portable screen in front of me shut on and a white haired woman named B appeared. I almost closed my legs at the surprise. I was never used to that woman showing up unexpectedly.

"James Hard-on."
"That's my name."
"Enough of your je... Continue»
Posted by damlovmature 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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