Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 70

The Layover

Stephen Brooks, a rather average sort of fella on the wrong side of 30 slowly opened the door of his Towncar and ducked out into the muggy afternoon air of Dallas Texas. Before him was the Airport and annoyingly beyond that a five hour plane flight back to New York.

As he grabbed his bags from the trunk it dawned on him that he had in all likelihood spent more time in the air in the past month then birds do in their entire lives.
Stephen was in Dallas overseeing the construction of a new Distribution hub for his Company and at the end of the week would fly back home to New York to give in... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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The 'Dog' - Memoir

'You're a good kisser… but there's a strange taste in your mouth…what have you been eating?' she says just prior to flicking her tongue round her lips.

'That'll be the pickled onions I had earlier.' I slur and congratulate myself for quick thinking in spite of the ten or so pints I had consumed during the course of the evening.

In actual fact I had just puked up a beef burger and a quantity of aforesaid lager behind the back of the garage in Brading Road – I'd told her to wait round the front whilst I went for a piss - right next door to La Babalu nightclub where I had been boozing half ... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Just Another Slut on a Saturday Night - Memoir

'If you promise to stay the night, Jules, then I'll let you sl**p with me.'

'Yeah… okay then,' I respond flatly – I'm not that fussed either way but since I'm here…

Her little plain face lights up, like a punter pulling three cherries on a fruit machine, and says, all excitedly: 'I'll go and set up the camp bed then.'

'Why do you need to do that?'

'There's only one bedroom and one double bed here which I share with my s****r… she won't want to come home and find you in bed with me.' She giggles in a silly and irritating way as though she was seven rather than s*******n; and a year... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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When Teasing Takes a Turn

I sit straddling his hips, laughing as I swat him around the head with a cushion. He laughs back at me, tryng to fend off my pathetic blows. Looking down at him sheepishly, moving my hands to his ribs ready to tickle him. His mood changes, his chocolate brown eyes seeming to grow deeper as he gazes up at my downturned face.

“Are you sure you want to do that honey?” he’s challenging me, I know how much he hates to be tickled. “Why wouldn’t I want to?” I shoot back at him, eyebrows raised grinning wildly.

He lifts his hips up to meet mine, the seam of his jeans pressing into my crotch. H... Continue»
Posted by Elizabethann 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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My first time :) The s****r3some

I still remember this as if it was yesterday.

Walking up the stairs going into my 8th grade free period class. I turn the corner and I see the Martinez s****rs standing at the end of the hallway. Turning into the classroom, nobody was there. They come into the doorway and sayy hey! come here. I go and they bring me to the janitor's closet and tell me to get the box off the shelf. As i reach up and I touch the box, I feel a hand grab my cock from in between my legs. I then fling the box further on the shelf and fall face down on the stool below me. Then I feel somebody sit on my back and bi... Continue»
Posted by andreu20 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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MY VIRGINITY LOST IN THE STORM

MY VIRGINITY LOST IN THE STORM
By : VoyeurKing




NOTE : This story is entirely true and was experienced first hand by yours truly. This is the tale of how I lost my virginity, and might give you some insight on the feeling of magic, excitement, and sexual hunger and desire of my youth. The names of the characters have been changed to protect their identities, and the dialogue isn’t verbatim (it was almost 9 years ago) - I have not made any additional editing to spice it up – This is how I lost my V-card.




As I woke up, the sun beamed light through the tiny slits of the blinds... Continue»
Posted by VOYEURKING 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Teen sex story... :)

The girlfriend who has her friend hang around.

I was the teen boyfriend to two girls, Lisa the girl next door and Bonnie the girl down the street.
For years we were on and off BF / GF and took turns between them. One understood that the other was the one for this time period.
Little background, Lisa had been with one guy and thats me. I introduced her to sex a few years back. She listened to me with her mom and wanted to try it. Her mom was not so understanding. I was her sex toy in my very early teens and did not think this teaching was for her daughter from me.
Bonnie was the same,... Continue»
Posted by kenzee500 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Rally Virgin! Utter humiliation!

. Rally Virgin utter humiliation!



This happened in the mid-90's, when I was going out with a very beautiful little Goth chick. I was only just getting into the biker scene, and I was a bit young and naive, I suppose.

My girlfriend of the time, Nici, was already a longtime rocker, into the rally scene too, and had friends in many clubs. I loved her madly; she was a part time model, and was really sexy and petite, with long dark hair and the prettiest face imaginable, plus perfect little round boobs and a girlish, slim figure. She had a harder edge to her, though; she was quite outg... Continue»
Posted by naughtyboy200 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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A naughty fairytale

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess.
Long golden hair, features the finest in the kingdom.
Skin like porcelain and a body so perfect in proportion grown men would weep at her beauty.
Her name was Eleanor.
Eleanor had a twin s****r named Esmerelda
Esmerelda was also quite beautiful but didn't quite compare to Eleanor's beauty.
Esmerelda had a slightly larger frame but smaller breasts, she didn't have that perfect waist and hips of Eleanor,
Her nose was slightly larger, her hair rather than golden was a dirty blonde.
Although the s****rs were the same height Esmerelda ... Continue»
Posted by Penelope22 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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A Day on the Farm

Doug had brought his girlfriend Montana to his uncle’s farm for a day. He knew that she loved horsed and his uncle had a bunch of them. Doug had planned a whole picnic out by the pond as well.

They drove down the dirty road to the farm house and Montana looked out the window as they drove past the cows and horses. He couldn’t help to smile as they got to the farm house. He pulled up by the barn and he got out and walked to the other side of the truck and help Montana get out as well.

At 5’3” she was much shorter than his 6’ but he loved it and she had blonde highlighted hair that came to... Continue»
Posted by AndrewBonzua 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Omegle Roleplay: Random day at the office

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You both like roleplay.

You: Its 3pm, you get to your desk and on your computer you get an anonymous message: “You look great in that skirt today!”
Stranger: I'm kinda startled, but, after a second, answer anyway. "Thanks, I guess... Who is this?"
You: I chuckle and respond: "Well that would spoil the fun, if i told you, wouldn't it?"
Stranger: "How do you even know I'm wearing a skirt? I don't have a webcam..." I start feeling a little uncomfortable.
You: "You passed right by me today" (you work in a big office with lots of desks)
S... Continue»
Posted by mayhem13 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Aishas Exercise pt1

(Rewrite of a story I made a long time ago)*

"Dick, you must find a way to help me," complained Sarah to her husband. She felt she was fat and needed help to shape up.

Dick was happy his plan was working. He had deliberately made comments to give her that impression, that she was fat and needed to exercise to reduce her weight.

"You are not really that fat," said her husband, deliberately sounding unconvincing.

"Oh yes, I am! You yourself have said that many times," insisted Sarah. "I weigh 150 lbs! And my breast are so big!"

"But you are... well, perhaps a bit stout, but you ha... Continue»
Posted by aishagrey 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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my british slutty girlfriend msn chat history, nau

Time From To Message
30/10/2012 22:48:54 Mark and Gem u know who im on msn come say hello
30/10/2012 22:49:04 Mark and Gem u know who hey
30/10/2012 22:49:09 u know who Mark and Gem hey
30/10/2012 22:49:11 Mark and Gem u know who nice
30/10/2012 22:50:14 u know Mark and Gem that u?
30/10/2012 22:50:18 Mark and Gem u know yes
30/10/2012 22:50:21 u know Mark and Gem wow
30/10/2012 22:50:27 u know Mark and Gem very cute hun
30/10/2012 22:50:30 Mark and Gem u know thank u lol
30/10/2012 22:50:41 u know Mark and Gem me not so much
30/... Continue»
Posted by longone23456 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Story of my LIFE

Hey Y'all. I'm Raissa the hot-girl-next-door type. I've been a sexual person since I lost my virginity at 15.
It might sound tacky but I love having my pussy touched and played with all the time.
I don't know what it is but none of my girlfriends seem to be the same way. I can't get enough sex and that's just it so I end up masturbating a lot. The photographer was funny because he seemed to make funny faces when I was masturbating.
I couldn't tell if he was enjoying it or confused by it all. I haven't left my town since I was twelve.
When I was boarding through the security checkpoint plac... Continue»
Posted by RaissaSQUIRT 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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enjoying the bride of another.

Passed a young girl who looked lost. I circled the block and picked her up. She tells me she ran away from home. Dad and mom would not let her be free. She just wanted out. I ask where she was going now? She had no idea. I took her to my house. I parked and got out, She looked at me.
Come with me, its ok. She walks in my home and looks worried. I look at her, I will fuck you but not by f***e. You will give it up freely or not at all. She smiled and started eating my cookies. I had her a soda and opened the frig. Eat what you like. She acted like a starved dog as my bar.
Where you from, n... Continue»
Posted by hardnutjr 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Waxing with Marguerite

I sent Marguerite an SMS to say we were on our way, and that these boys were big if she could kindly waive the supplement for extra large cocks. She replied, “Don't worry lol”.

Adrian was wearing his jeans and no underwear. It looked as if he had some hosepipe down them. George was also wearing jeans but was wearing a thong underneath into which he had packed his magnificent equipment, so there was a very visible bulge. In fact, it seemed he was carrying his lunch down there.

When we arrived at the salon, Marguerite and the owner, Anne, were waiting in reception. Marguerite was look... Continue»
Posted by suaveliso 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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That’s what friends are for!

Just Being Neighborly

I first had a chance to meet our new neighbor when we were both getting our mail out of our adjoined mailboxes one day around noon. Looking her over she had a bit of a very tired look on her face but from the neck down she was hot. She was wearing sandals, really short shorts and a pullover white shirt cut at the waist and the neckline was torn down rather low. Allowing her to be the first one to get the mail I watched as she stooped over to grab hers. I got a pretty clear look down that the neckline of that torn shirt and saw nothing but cleavage. No bra and no tan l... Continue»
Posted by bigsoftee 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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godess sarita 10 (stress releave)

after goddess had her promotion she stays a lot busy with work now a days and I had to do the regular hose work and carried out whatever goddess asked to do like a good sissy maid..
it was wensday evening goddess came home all tired and stressed I kneeled infront of her and removed her shoes den liked her sweaty feets dry it was a regular day job .. she got up and went to room after a while when I finished serving dinner I was called to her room goddess was doing some papper work and was worried..
she asked me to strip she didn't even look at me I stood all naked my pubic hair wasn't shaved ... Continue»
Posted by mashroorr 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Doctor Patient

Here is the biggest mistake I made in my life. I slept with a patient. That is due to the second biggest mistake in my life. I am a doctor.

Of course, there is a story involved. Here goes.

As a k**, I wanted to be a doctor. But not to people. I wanted to be a vet. That didn't work out. My old man pointed at medical school. I loved my dog, and my dog died, and soon, I found my dream dead. I was a people doctor. I studied my ass off, read as much as I could and finally made it to medical school. On merit, by the way. Its been an interesting journey since then.

Six months ago, I graduate... Continue»
Posted by sidhuputt 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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I Fucked my neighbor ;)

Ok so today I had a really good day I'm driving from work and I see my neighbor smoking a cigarette outside I parked my car in the drive got out and waved at her across the street.Now this woman is in her early 40's shes in the thick side wearing track short with a white see through tanktop she looked alright with no makeup and her hair down I give her a 7 outta 10 which is still fuckable I walk to her asking how you doing Mrs.Diaz she says good I guess.I noticed something was bothering her and I asked if anything was wrong she said that her husband of 19 years spilt that after living with ea... Continue»
Posted by Guts3177 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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