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Sex Humor Porn Stories

Unknown visitor

MatureSex Humor

I was waking from a deep slumber from a nice sensation. Not completely concious yet, almost as if still in a dream. The sensation was amazing, like a blowjob almost, a warm wet tightly wrapped around circle. I kept my eyes closed, hoping not to lose this if it happened to be a very nice trick by my subconcious. It was so real i could even hear the slurping noise. I decided to enjoy it to the fullest so I let my hands go down and push the head down. Feel the throat tighten around my cock as it goes down her throat. Then there was a gagging noise and it bit me. Jolted awake instantly I in… Read more

Posted by albert_whiskers 5 years ago 2 1,478 80%

Blondie/Dennis The Menace: The New Babysitter

CelebritiesSex HumorTaboo

Blondie/Dennis The Menace: The New Babysitter (Or When Dennis Meets Blondie) by Sniper32 One Friday night Dennis was introduced to his new babysitter, a nice young lady named Blondie Bumsted. She was a 35 years old friend of his mother, she was a stunning 5'9, slimmed hipped, long legs, a nice ass and a perfect set of 38c breasts. Denise's parents Henry and Alice were going out for dinner and dancing for their anniversary and would be gone most of the night. Now as everybody knows Dennis is a handful to say the least, and as boys tend to be when there parents are way, get into th… Read more

Posted by sniper32 5 years ago 16 7,741 95%

Dennis The Menace: Part 3 - Joey's Mom

CelebritiesSex HumorTaboo

Dennis The Menace: Part 3 - Joey's Mom by Sniper32 One morning at Dennis's friend Joey's house, Joey woke up and went down stairs to make some breakfast for himself. He then went into the living room to watch his Saturday morning cartoons and to eat his cereal. He found his mother Rita passed out on the couch. This was quite common as Rita was the neighborhood d***k. Joey found her passed out some where in the house 2-3 times a week, so this did not surprise him. What did surprise him was this morning she was past out wearing nothing but her bathrobe, which had fallen open duri… Read more

Posted by sniper32 5 years ago 11 7,109 98%

Dennis The Menace: Part 2 - A Mother's Love

CelebritiesSex HumorTaboo

Dennis The Menace: Part 2 - A Mother's Love by Sniper32 A couple of days after Dennis and his mother had sex for the first time, Alice was laying in her bed pondering her current situation. She couldn't believe what was happening between her and her son. She could not get the picture of her son with his huge cock plunging in and out of her or the thought of her on her knees with his cock lodged down her throat shooting loads of his hot warm jism in her mouth. "God this is turning me on," she said to herself as she started playing with her breasts, massaging them, caressing her n… Read more

Posted by sniper32 5 years ago 11 7,326 97%

Love of food

MasturbationMatureSex Humor

*Another food play: this is a fantasy...* I love food. Now don't get me wrong everyone loves food but I found my love of food through cooking class. Now I know the intro part is going to be mundane... Hi my name is Melody but I like being called Mel for short. I'm 5, 3 with long curly red hair and green eyes. I have a bad temper...I have a curvy figure. There now that's settled let's go on with the story.   I was sitting in my room one warm Saturday evening eating strawberries with chocolate cream. There was other stuff laid out like berries and whipped cream along with other exotic frui… Read more

Posted by ForeverGold101 5 years ago 473 40%

Dennis The Menace: Part 1 - A Mother's Love

CelebritiesSex HumorTaboo

the characters in this story are copyrighted but the story is mine. depending on the responce to this story i have 5 more parts i will post. Dennis The Menace: Part 1 - A Mother's Love by Sniper32 Dennis was in his bedroom one afternoon, doing what young men do, when his mother Alice stuck her head in and told him that she was going to the store and would be back in about an hour. Now Dennis was home alone and being the curious type decided to snoop around in his mom and dads room and see what he could find. So he went down the hallway and into his folks room, first he looked unde… Read more

Posted by sniper32 5 years ago 16 8,397 96%

tell me if you like this joke

Sex HumorTaboo

Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation. The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said >> " So why are you here ? " The yellow Lab replied, " I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the k**s. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed." The black Lab said, " So what?s the vet going to do ? " " Gonna cut my nuts off " came the reply from the yellow Lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down." The Yellow Lab then turned to the Black Lab and asked " why ar… Read more

Posted by happyhead 5 years ago 13 3,004 97%

Red Lace Panties

Sex Humor

Standing only in my red lace panties, brushing my teeth, I wipe the fog from the bathroom mirror. Looking into the mirror, I see you step from the shower, give me a smile and a wink, then turn away from me to reach for a towel. I can’t help but notice your sexy physique and your sweet tight buns. I swiftly turn and give your ass cheek a hard slap. Your hips thrust forward as your shoulders push back. You whirl around, with a scowl on your face. Still brushing my teeth, I innocently tilt my head from side to side and shrug my shoulder a little as if to say “what?” Without sa… Read more

Posted by vividtease 5 years ago 6 927 93%

Food play

FetishSex Humor

 I slowly walk towards you in my Lacey black thong and bra I smile seductively as I lean forward and tie you to the bedpost. I blind fold you , making sure that you won't see anything. I climb on top of you and grind my hips slowly against your cock as you groan out loud. You're hard and ready as I climb off and unzip your pants and out pops your beautiful pogo stick.  I take the whip cream that I set out and rub it on you. You shiver as I lower my mouth to your throbbing cock. I hear you gasp as I start licking you up and down, moaning in the process. I feel myself getting wetter and I stop… Read more

Posted by ForeverGold101 5 years ago 1 440

New Rain

Sex Humor

I said something wrong, you’re angry. Pacing back and forth you pause and look over at me. You turn away, reach for your keys and head for the door. “No” I cry out as I run to you “don’t go.” You are already out the door headed to your truck, when you reach the tailgate to close it you feel my hands grab your arm. As you turn your head in the darkness you see me. My hair already drenched from the rain, my tender eyes pleading with you to stay, to love me, my flowered sundress soaked and clinging to the sexy curves of my body. You turn your body towards mine. I can see your d… Read more

Posted by vividtease 5 years ago 4 797 100%

My sph fetish comes true!!!

FetishMatureSex Humor

After a yr of being with my wife I confessed to her about my sph, she actually took to it very well and was glad I brought it up as she has always thought it was tiny and didn't know how to tell me, we often talk about it and situations where I would be stood naked in front of a bunch of her friends with them all pointing and laughing at my small c*ck on one of her girly nights, we would try and plan a night where that would happen but always chicken out. I also wanted her to tell her friends and female relatives but she was too embarrassed about being with a guy with a small c*ck BUT when sh… Read more

Posted by ilovemysmallcock 5 years ago 2 1,439 80%

THE ITALIAN WEDDING

Sex Humor

THE ITALIAN WEDDING I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year. So we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me.. It was her beautiful younger s****r, Sofia. My prospective s****r-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was Bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me. I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. She never did it around anyone else. One day she called me and asked me to come over. 'To check my s****r's wedding- invitatio… Read more

Posted by tetamata 5 years ago 2 1,510 92%

My sph fetish comes true!!!

FetishMatureSex Humor

Another story I found and loved... After a yr of being with my wife I confessed to her about my sph, she actually took to it very well and was glad I brought it up as she has always thought it was tiny and didn't know how to tell me, we often talk about it and situations where I would be stood naked in front of a bunch of her friends with them all pointing and laughing at my small cock on one of her girly nights, we would try and plan a night where that would happen but always chicken out. I also wanted her to tell her friends and female relatives but she was too embarrassed about being w… Read more

Posted by ilovemysmallcock 5 years ago 3 809 80%

the bus stops here

Interracial SexSex HumorVoyeur

I remember one nite i went to go meet a guy off the chat line and i got lost so i stopped to use the pay phone . while getting directions from him a bus on the other side of the street stopped and was waveing me over . so once i hung the phone up i went across the street and got on the bus,it was nite time , he just pulled his dick out while standing up and i went to my knees and sucked his dick off. this was the second bus driver i had sex with. the other one fucked me on the back of the bus in the parking lot of the mall. i went on to suck the guys dick off the partyline. it was good

Posted by DEE-LICIOUSxxx 5 years ago 14 1,315 99%

Step-b*****r's Torture

FetishSex HumorTaboo

This story is heavily based on true events that's happened in my life. \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ It all started on a sunny afternoon, I was 18 years old still living at home with my mum, my little step-b*****r was staying over with us for the week. His name's Charlie, 16 years old and he's not related to me by bl**d, just by marriage. I knew he had the hots for me, well who could blame him! We only knew eachother for a few years, and he really thought I was into him, of course being a lesbian I was certainly NOT interested in him, but that… Read more

Posted by LittleMissFart 5 years ago 7 4,113 71%

The Voyers That Got Away...

Sex HumorVoyeur

After graduating HS I became the girl that the guys I went to school with were curious about. 1 of them was 1 of my biggest crushes. He was twin and I was so into this weird little dude. We crossed paths again while I was out 1 day and attending an event wit my s****r and we exchanged numbers. The look he gave me let me know why he wanted to exchange numbers. He wanted to fuck me. He knew it, I knew it & it was damn sure gonna happen! The first time we got together he was shy,but so ready. He picked me up and we grabbed a bite to eat and I was just having a nite out with nothing in mind… Read more

Posted by PeircedPlumpPleasure 5 years ago 18 804 95%

F-a-c-k

Sex Humor

"Fack" Ah ah ah ahhh Oh god damn I'm gonna facckin cum Oh shit, oh yeah Fack fack faaaack Fuck I am I am, I'm going to cum I'm cumming I never seen no shit like this This bitch can twist like a damn contortionist Condom on my dick Of course it is This bitch don't know what abortion is So I can't cum in her Fucks like a porn star Looks like jenna Fuck I'm gonna Cum I think my rubbers coming off But oh it's so fuckin wet and soft Fuck I'm gonna start letting off I'm squirting and she's not getting off And she's on top I'm gonna fucking, oh… Read more

Posted by braindamage123 5 years ago 384 70%

College seems GREAT!

First TimeSex HumorVoyeur

So it goes like this, I was in my gf's s****rs house. Shes a college student and so shares it with three other girls. Well it was one night upon which we decided to vist her and go out with them all. We were told to use her s****rs room to change and so we did, my gf showered first and as she did, I started being nosey and looking through her s****rs things, but guess what, I found nothing worth noting (was looking to see if she had a dildo etc....) This was shocking as I presumed she would have had one, suddenly I heard my gf coming across the landing floor so i jumped onto the bed and lay do… Read more

Posted by aaronlikesit 5 years ago 1,076 77%

Fun During Gym Part 1 <3

First TimeHardcoreSex Humor

I stand in front of the mirror with my popular group of friends which stand beside me, making sure their tits are plunged out for the boys and makeup/ hair is perfect. I'm the leader of the popular possy because I'd been friends with them all the time. Sydney, the sexy latina with a curved ass, Meghan, the hot blonde with the smooth stomach, Hailey, the perfect blue eyed sex goddess with the huge tits, and me, Taylor, the beautiful long blonde hair, perfect curved ass and huge sexy tities. (The word "tities" makes me laugh all the time XD). My best friend Sydney comes from behind me after chan… Read more

Posted by milli214 5 years ago 5 2,445 88%

The Adventures of Teri Sue

HardcoreSex HumorVoyeur

Teri Sue walked down the yellow brick-road wearing her trademark red-riding hood and carrying a basket with cake and wine for her grand-aunt. She was in a rather good mood as the sun shone on her smiling face with its rosy cheeks. The weather was perfect for the delighting trip she had been looking forward to for so long. Her shoes, also the same color red as her hood, clapped on the yellow bricks in an upbeat rhythm and you could tell how full of energy she was having just started on her trip. She felt like singing and started humming a melody that she made up as she went along. Her a****l c… Read more

Posted by ButtyBratToughL 5 years ago 2 1,329 89%