Sex Humor Porn Stories
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Canoeing on holiday in Sweden.

Canoeing on holiday in Sweden.


In my mid-twenties I enjoyed wilderness canoeing in Scandinavia. I endeavour to have some me time, as I work surrounded by people 24/7.


At the end of my ninth day I drag my canoe up to one of Sweden’s camping areas. These are just wooden lean-tos and an area to make a fire; if you’re lucky an earth toilet. If I’d found anyone at the site I would have camped a little ways on, happily it’s deserted. The weather is fine and warm so I layout just a sl**ping mat and roll the canoe over for a shelter, just in case the wind gets up.
Being British I make a ... Continue»
Posted by CanoePirate 2 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Dive Bar Dorita Two

Late Saturday night I headed out for the Ironbound. Middle of that week I had a public quickie with an off duty go go girl named Dorita. I was trying to find her, and take her for a proper fucking. She was in her normal haunt, not the other bar where we had our fling. Dark skinned and sexy, if not at all beautiful. Dorita was drinking Heineken with the pool players when I got there. Wearing a yellow, string bikini top and daisy dukes. Her plump ass cheeks almost bare.

Even though it was close to closing the place was pretty full. I fed the dollar parade at the bar, desperate for their last... Continue»
Posted by Frank-o 2 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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MILF B and B (Spanked with a Friend)




You can read the earlier stories but it’s not that important. Jill is the B and B Milf I’ve had the great fortune to have been making love to for around six months. She’s six years older than me, I’m 44.

When I’m up for the week I have to work, so I have little time for imaginative sex. Come Friday night and I’ve finished my work, it’s time to play. Sunday I go home but not before Jill has ridden me to exhaustion. Fridays night/Saturday she wants to play and this weekend I’m taking charge. This stories starts on Friday night when Jill wants to play submissive.

The twenty something... Continue»
Posted by CanoePirate 2 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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If Only, Part 2

OK, quick recap to our story before I go on:
*went to bed after watching Weird Science on TV (glad to know someone else knows what it was), and you have to admit, some of us single guys and girls have always wanted to have a woman like that at one time or another
*woke up next morning to find this beautiful redhead Irish girl waking me up
*”accidentally” spilled water on the front of her nightgown ;)
*watched her, in secret, shower and lusted to myself over her naked body
*finally made up my mind over her name, Kerry, after a little “buttering up”. If you didn't get the name reference rig... Continue»
Posted by redbeardsley 2 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Showing a Woman her First Cumshot

When I was a freshman in college in Wisconsin back in 1995 that winter break a female platonic friend of mine, Katie, fixed me up with a friend of hers. Her friend, Amy, grew up in a devout Lutheran household. Amy was my age but very inexperienced. My friend thought I would be a gentleman but also someone with whom Amy could experiment and learn about sex in a non-threatening environment. I think this was due to the several stories I'd told Kelly over the course of our first semester in which I ended up 'hooking up' with certain coeds who wanted to take it slow. Katie was intrigued by my ... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 2 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Dreaming of her (my co-worker MILF)

So there is a female I work with, we've known each other for almost a full decade, going back to the first restaurant we worked at. We went a few years apart after I was let go because business was slow. Last year she got a job at my current employer. I was always shy around her at the old job so I decided I'd talk to her more now. She's petite hot Mexican MILF, she goes to the gym often so she has a nice tight body. Her tits are fuller since she had a baby between the time we were apart and she leaves the buttons of her shirt open just enough to look down her cleavage. With that and her pant... Continue»
Posted by dropsoflotion 2 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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MILF B and B (Naked in the Forest)

MILF B and B (Naked in the Forest)

For those who have read MILF B and B this is my first return after meeting Jill. For those who haven’t read my earlier escapade, Jill is in her late forties with a mature body kept fit by hard work. Her boobs are warm and squidgy with a forest for a bush, mounted below a trim waist and between two firm thighs.

I arrive for a weeks work. Normally I would be away for five days and travel back Friday evening. However, Jill’s ‘going home’ sex had me eager to return and stay longer. So I have arrived on a sunny Sunday afternoon and I return next Sunday; some... Continue»
Posted by CanoePirate 2 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Our Honeymoon, Every Woman Should Have – Part 1






I am Garima. I am going to narrate my honeymoon experience with you.Even if I say that it is true, most of you will not believe. So it does not matter.

I am youngest of three siblings. The eldest one is s****r and there is one b*****r Rahul between two s****rs. Our f****y was / is very rich.

Though my father was a reputed successful real estate developer and builder he was very conservative.

... Continue»
Posted by deepa256 2 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Private Parking (Nooph part one)

I'm a conductor on a commuter railroad in North Jersey. You get to meet a lot of people. Some of them young ladies. I met a real winner years ago from Bangladesh. Spoke with a slight, almost English sounding accent. In that brash, English girl who swears a lot way. She went by the name Nooph. Regular rider from out in Hackensack. She was flirty with me. Still I was a little surprised when she slipped me her phone number. It was printed out on register tape. I knew from chatting with her that she was going to collage and helping out at her uncle's f****y store. What I didn't know was that she w... Continue»
Posted by Frank-o 2 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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When no better word than profane language applies

When I was 22 and a senior in college I had the great fortune to go out with an 18 year old named high school senior named Julie. Julie was tall, 5'7', and buxom. She had at least C-cup breasts with a nice, curvy ass in perfect proportion. The most memorable thing about Julie, however, was not her height, age, or Amazonian build, but her labia minora. I have always avoided the use of this term as it is really too profane for polite company, but here on xhamster, I will tell you that these were THE definition of 'cunt flaps.' Of course, I had heard this term before and I always chalked it up to... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 2 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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If Only, If Only

Another night, another wasted load of sperm, I thought to myself. This is bullshit. I shut my laptop off and switched on the television, finding a movie on TV about these two teens who create the perfect woman from scratch. Lucky bastards. The woman was so sexy and had a sultry English accent. I think, at one time too, she was also married to Steven Seagal, who could probably crush my nuts into oblivion if he wanted to and leave no trace of his existence behind. “So what would you little maniacs like to do first?” She seemed to whisper in her English accent.
You, of course, duh. I felt my dic... Continue»
Posted by redbeardsley 2 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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When no better word than profane language applies

When I was 22 and a senior in college I had the great fortune to go out with an 18 year old named high school senior named Julie. Julie was tall, 5'7', and buxom. She had at least C-cup breasts with a nice, curvy ass in perfect proportion. The most memorable thing about Julie, however, was not her height, age, or Amazonian build, but her labia minora. I have always avoided the use of this term as it is really too profane for polite company, but here on xhamster, I will tell you that these were THE definition of 'cunt flaps.' Of course, I had heard this term before and I always chalked it ... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 2 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Finding a Roommate

The year after I finished college, I took a job as a junior management trainee in a stock market firm. I hated everything about the job, but it paid my share of the rent while I got my screwed up brain together.

One Saturday, a female showed at our door, asking if we would consider a girl for the roommate opening we had posted. She looked presentable, and I invited her in to meet Sean, my one remaining roommate. The lease was in my name, and it wasn't a good time of the year for finding someone, so I was feeling ambivalent. Women roommates were a curse, my friends had told me, running down... Continue»
Posted by sexykamel 2 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Slutty Sarah wins a wet t-shirt competition. She w

She’s back, boys, and sluttier than ever. In this true story she tells me how she took part in a wet t-shirt contest, won it and got herself fucked afterwards.

I saw her in a bar a few days ago and we started talking. Her friend had to leave, so Sarah and I sat with a drink or two. I asked her what she had been doing recently. I won’t bore you with the other things, so let’s get down to the wet t-skirt contest she entered.

She’d been on holiday to America, around Spring Break time and seen an advert for a wet t-shirt competition. She told me ‘I’ve always wished I’d had the courag... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 3 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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MILF B and B


MILF B and B

This is a true story and I’ve changed the name and not fixed the location to protect a lady.


I travel throughout Britain and carry out land inspections. It’s very weather dependant. If it rains I can’t work. I travel to this part of Britain many times a year. I’m going further north than usual so I decide to book a hotel as close as possible to my projects. I didn’t like the hotel and so after a couple of days I asked the barmaid if she knew of a B and B she could recommend. She said no but if I could give her 15 minutes she may be able to fix me up with a widow who coul... Continue»
Posted by CanoePirate 3 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Survey about porn

I hope you can answer to my questions. I want to know something about your life with PORN.
If you want to answer my questions please send me a private message with your answers.

1) What kind of porn do you watch? (examples: BDSM; Softcore; Fetish)
2) How often do you watch porn?
3) Why do you watch porn?
4) Do you masturbate to porn movies? If yes, how often?
5) What´s your favourite movie? (name or link)
6) What´s your favourite pornstar?
7) What´s your favourite porn-website?
8) Do you watch it alone or with someone?
9) What do you like the most? Movies or Clips?
10) Would you e... Continue»
Posted by Lance_0815 3 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Lovely Shy Wife To High End e****t



I am software engineer and my husband is a sales director in a reputed mnc. Before marriage I use to work in pune and I got many proposals from the boys but I turned them off….. I mostly use wear a salwar and rarely jeans. Girls around me says that I have very shinning skin and good body shape, even they use to encourage to make friends with the boys and enjoy the life… I turned them all as I believed that any advances (even a kiss) before marriage is sin.

I was v
... Continue»
Posted by bargavi21 3 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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From A Married Woman To A Sexy Whore




Hi

My name is Malvika Joshi age 25 years married to Manish 01 year back an NRI who works on a ship, his age is 27 years energetic and active in sex, my stats are 36-30-36 fair and short just like Vidya Balan. I am working as a college teacher, many students, and my colleagues get crazy with my looks and figure. Normally, I wear sarees and salwars but during Saturdays some times jeans with tight tops and kurtas.

So coming to story, this is my real incident whi
... Continue»
Posted by bargavi21 3 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Fucking my girlfriend's mother Sanjana

Hi.. i am from bangalore. this is a story a year ago. my friend who is also my neighbuor lives with his mom and his father who is a railway engineer. my friend sachin is fond of movies. and his father is always busy on his work..sachin’s mother name is sanjana.she is almost 37.. i am 18.my mom who used to go to work and comes back only at 6.i used to go to sachin’s house everyday.
when sachin had gone out. i used to sit and chat with sanjana for sometime. she was a good friend of my mother.Our f****y was very close and we used to visit each other for social gathering. I think she was in her l... Continue»
Posted by Sherthi 3 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Sybian and Venus Racing –4 Couples and The Bet.

Sybian and Venus Racing –4 Couples and The Bet.

I fancy a chance of fucking any of my mate’s wives. All six are sexy in different ways. So after a d***ken night out we boys all agreed to find a way to swap partners for a night…….. but how?

I told my wife about our d***ken agreement while I was in the bath the following day. Not to my surprise she said that she was up for it. She moves close to the bath and places my hand on her pussy and as I slip a finger in its obvious that she’s highly aroused. She smiles innocently, steps back, turns and bends over. As her pussy comes into view she s... Continue»
Posted by CanoePirate 3 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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