This is a print version of story ABOUT FEMALE DOMINATION by redz245 from xHamster.com
ABOUT FEMALE DOMINATION
So what is Female Domination? The entire term seems to be a contradiction to our male dominated society. Female Domination (or FemDom as some refer to it) did not originate from dominant women or feminists. It was men who coined the phrase Female Domination to categorize their sexual and social desires to submit themselves to the female gender. So is Female Domination merely a sexual fantasy that some men harbor or is it a reflection of a societal evolution?
Based on my years of study, observation and participation, I have learned that there are sexual and social reasons why men have submissive desires toward women. I have discovered that a person’s core nature expresses itself in the sexual realm through different sexual desires. To the novice, a man that desires to be on the bottom during intercourse is normal but a man who desires to be spanked or whipped by a woman is perverted. However, I have come to understand that both of these fore mentioned desires stem from the same core desire. That desire is to be sexually dominated by a woman. It is expressed differently but it is the same deep-rooted motivation. Not only that, but this deep-rooted nature can evolve.
As a woman who was raised in a so-called male dominant traditional f****y, it was a revelation to me to discover the natural dominance and supremacy of the female gender over the male gender. This revelation became the key to unlocking and understanding all submissive desires within men. It matters not how these desires are expressed through different fantasies. The root and the core of these are all the same. Namely, the desire of the male gender is to be dominated and ruled by the female gender. Therefore, no expression of this submissive nature surprises me or shocks me. I have heard it all from the males I have interviewed and counseled and I have seen it all through my own participation in the Female Domination lifestyle.
Men desire corporal punishment (being spanked or whipped by a woman), f***ed feminization (being emasculated by a woman), humiliation, strap-on sex (being the receiver of a woman’s rubber phallus), water sports (such as f***ed enemas or golden showers), and other D&S activities. Men want to worship the female by tending to her physical and sexual needs (body worship) and men want to be made into a domesticated servant to their wives. But the common thread to all these sexual and submissive desires is the longing for loving female authority. To me, that is the true definition of Female Domination. Female Domination is Loving Female Authority. That is what most men are seeking from the female gender. All of these specific fetishes or desires are the outward expressions of a man’s need and hunger for loving female authority.
There is a natural born desire within men that causes them to desire to be dominated by a woman. I believe that males are born with this desire and I also believe that this desire is enhanced through a man’s c***dhood experiences with his female authority figures. A male is carried in the womb of a woman, he is birthed into this world by a woman, he is nurtured at the breasts of a woman, he is disciplined by the loving hands of a woman, and he is loved and comforted by a woman. There is a special bond between a young boy and his mother or female guardian. Part of this is sexual. Most of the time, a young boy is bathed, caressed, nurtured and spanked by adult female authority figures and this stirs submissive desires within young boys. When they reach adolescence, a lot of boys begin to experiment with their sexuality, as they are curious and drawn to the female, her beauty and her mysterious ways.
There is usually a form of the desire to submit mixed in with the sexuality. A young boy grows accustomed to being bossed around and dominated by the adult female authority figures in his life. Then when he begins to enter puberty, his sexual fantasies often involve being the helpless sexual victim to one of his adult female authority figures like a teacher or a babysitter. I believe that is when B&D (Bondage and Domination) desires are birthed within men. Not all boys start out their sexual exploration with these types of fantasies but many boys do.
When these boys grow up to be men with submissive desires, they often still maintain the fantasy of being an innocent and helpless boy that is being dominated by an adult female authority figure. They recall that their first submissive desires were toward their teacher, babysitter or even their Mother and they remember how pleasurable and exciting it was to have these desires. Usually as they happen upon Adult magazines or videos, the stories and scenes where a woman dominates a male are what causes them the most intense sexual arousal.
It is a very natural thing for a man to desire to be punished and disciplined by a woman. His mind reverts back to his c***dhood when the women that he loved the most (namely his Mother, Aunt, or an older s****r) would punish and discipline him. He knew that these women loved him because they punished and disciplined him. An adult male still longs for the feeling of his c***dhood where his Mother or female guardian punished him but then afterwards the male c***d would be hugged and nurtured by the same woman who punished him. Punishment and love go hand and hand. That is what loving female authority is all about.
As men become adults in this society that expects men to be the dominant gender, most men try to suppress their desire to submit to women. Some are successful at this but many are not. Therefore, the profession of being a Dominant Female was born and it thrives in our current society. The Dominatrix has never been more in demand. One just needs to search the Internet to see the thousands of women who offer professional Female Domination. Supply is becoming plentiful because the demand was always there.
Where did the Dominatrix come from? Females have always been smart businesswomen. In the old days, there were not too many professions that society would allow women to be employed in. Prostitution is said to be the world’s oldest profession and some women chose this guaranteed profit maker due to a lack of career choices. What many ladies of the evening discovered was that when they asked a potential male client what it was he desired sexually, many would say that they wanted to be dominated. Men would ask to be spanked or tied up and whipped. It didn’t take the smart business-minded woman long to figure out that she could make more money and have less wear and tear on her body if she would offer men domination instead of sex. Before long, the professional Dominatrix was born.
Today, the majority of professional Dominant Women have never been employed as prostitutes. Dominant women have come to realize that the male urge to submit to a dominant woman is so strong that some men are willing to pay handsomely to be dominated by a woman. Some men are afraid to admit their submissive desires to their wives or girlfriends because they fear they will be rejected or called a pervert. So they seek out submissive fulfillment with a professional Dominatrix. The fascinating thing is that only a true dominant woman can satisfy a man’s submissive nature. Today, a prostitute with a whip, who has not discovered her dominant nature, will not satisfy a submissive man. He is looking for a true dominant woman who has the attitude that she is indeed superior to him. Twenty years ago, that was hard to find. Today, however, there are thousands of professional dominant women who are educated and who truly believe that women are the superior gender. Men have never had so many choices when it comes to the professional dominant woman. Supply is starting to satisfy the demand.
A societal evolution is happening when it comes to the roles of the sexes. This bodes well for men because more women are starting to embrace their dominant natures. Women are beginning to desire to dominate men. Many males are finding out that they need not visit a professional Dominatrix to be dominated by a woman. I find it interesting that the number of men who desire to be dominated by women seems to be increasing at a time when women are becoming more liberated. Even though we still live in a so-called male dominated society, there seems to be a societal evolution that is taking place.
Of course we must not k** ourselves. Wives have dominated husbands behind closed doors since the beginning of human history. Single males have teased married men for centuries about being hen-pecked and pussy whipped by their wives. Men have always known deep inside that once they become married, the wife will run the show. But today’s modern women are taking that domination a step further. What is different today is that women are not content with being the strong, hidden f***e behind their men. Women are starting to become dominant outside the home as they are flexing their superiority in college campuses all across our society. In the spring of 2002, fifty-seven percent of all college degrees were earned by women and this f******n point gap (57-43 percent) is expected to grow more lopsided with each passing year. This dominance in the classroom is starting to translate to dominance in the workf***e, in business and in politics.
As women start to excel and become dominant in the workplace and in the business world, this is causing women to exert even more dominance within their personal relationships with men. Whereas wives have always dominated their husbands behind closed doors in a subtle manner, now they are dominating their husbands more openly. They are taking charge of the bedroom, as they are becoming the initiators of sex. They are taking charge of the finances and they are taking charge of the decision-making within the marriage. As women are exerting dominance in these areas, men’s submissive natures are stirring and men are desiring to be dominated in all areas of their lives by the female gender.
Some women are still restrained by traditions and societal expectations. Women naturally dominate men within the marriage relationship but not many women like to acknowledge that fact for fear of being a societal outcast. Some women still allow their husbands to appear as the in charge and dominant partner in order to conform to the model of what they witnessed from their parents. The female dominant nature still lies dormant in many women and it takes a male’s submissive nature to draw it out. But as women become more successful and more aggressive in the classroom and in the business world, women will more readily embrace their dominant persona and will gladly accept and even demand their male partner’s submission. In my opinion, the couples that practice Female Domination today are in front of the societal curve. Female Domination and male submission will be the foremost sexuality of the future. I believe that a majority of women will embrace it in the not too distant future. What some women still consider kinky and unusual today, these same women will embrace it in the future. Furthermore, their daughters will be stretching the limits and boundaries of female domination in areas that we cannot imagine today.
I am impressed with how confident and aggressive the younger women are today compared to when I was in college. The ladies are more intelligent and are out performing the males in the classroom. From talking to teachers and professors, this is happening in almost every area. I see a real occurrence happening in our society. One hundred years ago women could not even vote and very few were being educated. I suspect that in the future, women will be running our society. The societal evolution that is taking place cannot be stopped. Men are sensing this change and this is causing them to become more submissive toward women.
Of course the desire for Female Domination is nothing new. The book “Venus in Furs” by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch was written over 130 years ago. It is about a man with strong masochistic and submissive fantasies. He worships the Goddess Venus and he pursues his fantasies when he meets a wealthy woman named Wanda, with whom he starts a romance. He tells her of his masochism and his desire to be her slave. She agrees to indulge his fantasy out of her love for him but ends up loving being a dominant and sadistic woman and exceeds his wildest expectations. It is a very common story that has been played out in real life by couples over and over again. The man introduces the wife or girlfriend to his submissive fantasies and desires. The wife indulges the husband or boyfriend purely out of her love for him, but the woman grows to love her newly discovered power and dominant nature. Thus, she ends up taking her man deeper into submission to her than he ever dared fantasized about.
In this book, Wanda whips the male character Severin while wearing furs (at his request). This book was written in 1869 and to the author, fur was that day’s leather. It was a common European male’s fetish for the same reason leather is today. It was the power clothing of its day. Fur represented man’s natural conquest through the hunting and dominating of the a****l kingdom. When a woman wore fur and disciplined a man, it represented the female conquering and dominating the male. That is what leather represents today. It is the hide of an a****l made into a smooth and sexy material. When a woman is adorned in leather, it sends off psychological and subliminal messages to the submissive male. Fur was the leather of the nineteenth-century, Venus is a Goddess, thus the title “Venus in Furs”. If the book were written today it would probably be called, “Goddess in Leather”.
Not only did Leopold von Sacher-Masoch write books about his desires to be dominated by a woman, he actually pursued these desires in his real life. His first wife actually changed her name to Wanda (after the female character in “Venus in Furs”) and she whipped Leopold while wearing furs. Leopold even signed a contract surrendering his life over to his wife, much like the contract the character Wanda drew up in “Venus in Furs”. The German neurologist Richard von Krafft-Ebing coined the word “Masochist” from the sexual desires of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch.
So is Female Domination really S&M? Hardly! Female Domination is a broad umbrella with many forms and expressions. The desires of Sacher-Masoch are rather common within some men but they are only but one expression of the overall desire to be dominated by a woman. Many submissive men have explored the world of S&M because that is where they were hoping to meet a lifestyle dominant woman. Most of these men are not masochists but merely submissive. Likewise, most of the women who join these groups are not sadistic but merely outgoing and dominant. Therefore, these groups are now considered D&S groups that cater to a wide range of alternative lifestyles. Some call them D&S groups, some call them BDSM groups (putting the emphasis on the Domination) and some call them Fetish groups.
One must understand the submissive male to understand how the female domination lifestyle is fulfilling to him. Not every female domination relationship is the same. Some are more advanced than others based on the desires of the individuals involved. Some couples keep it confined to the bedroom and female domination is a way to spice up their sex lives. Others take it outside the bedroom and into their everyday life. To these couples, female domination is more of a lifestyle and a belief system. Regardless of the degree of the female domination activities, I have found that a majority of the couples who practice female domination claim to have better marriages and relationships than they did prior to practicing female domination. They claim to enjoy deeper intimacy and more fulfilling sex lives.
This makes perfect sense because a female domination relationship requires trust and honesty. When a man trusts his wife enough to open up to her about his deepest, most hidden desires, this sets the stage for intimacy on a more meaningful level. How sad that so many men must keep hidden their innermost being from the woman they have chosen to share their life with. But for those couples who dare to be uninhibited about their desires, they open themselves up to a special kind of intimacy. The man who trusts his wife enough to submit his entire being to her will, bonds with his wife on a level that few husbands have experienced. Likewise, when the wife is trustworthy enough to rule her husband in love, this causes them to bond together in a way that most traditional marriages cannot offer. To these couples, Female Domination is more than sexual. It is also social, emotional and spiritual.
I believe that society is evolving into a female dominant society. Women are starting to take charge. Hollywood and Madison Avenue are capitalizing on the ever-growing male submissive nature as movies, television, and advertising are celebrating the powerful woman. Although the real strength of woman is in her intellectual, social and sexual power, it is easier to show female power via the physical realm. Thus, shows such as “Xena: Warrior Princess”, “Dark Angel” and “Alias” have emerged. Men are yielding to the intellectual, social and sexual power in women and this is causing them to desire to be defeated in the physical by the female as well. That is where a lot of the female wresting fantasies within men are originating. That is also why Hollywood and television are celebrating the strong female.
It is hard for men to express and explain the inner power of women so they express it by showing them with physical power. When a woman kicks a man around on television or in the movies, chances are the male viewers are sexually turned on. This is because this act represents the power of the female and men want to submit to it. Just look at the movies that played in the summer of 2003 at your local theater. “Charlie’s Angels”, Terminator 3”, “The Matrix Reloaded”, “Daredevil” and “Lara Croft, Tomb Raider”. All of these films had strong, leather wearing female characters with scenes where they physically beat up men. Men know that the real power of women is sexual and intellectual but movies and television simplify it into the physical.
The one movie that truly displayed the sexual power of a woman was “Basic Instinct”. The Sharon Stone character, Catherine Tramell, dominated the so-called intelligent men in the movie by using her sexual power combined with her sharp intellect. The director, Paul Verhoeven, was successful in showing the sexual power of women over men through the Sharon Stone character. Remove the psychotic and Hitchcock-like thriller aspects and “Basic Instinct” is a movie about a dominant woman who has her way with the weaker male gender.
Unfortunately, Hollywood rarely takes the time to develop this aspect of a woman’s nature and will instead revert to only the physical when they want to show a powerful woman. In the movie “Batman Returns”, a number of men went to see the leather wearing, whip wielding Michelle Pfifer as Catwoman. Too bad this film reverted to physical fighting instead of developing Catwoman’s sexual power and obvious D&S interests.
Much like the book “Venus in Furs” in the late 1860’s, the Catwoman character in the 1960’s “Batman” television program played an important role in taking Female Domination and Fetishism into the mainstream. Catwoman was a major influence in igniting the submissive nature within boys as well as within grown men. When I counsel or interview men, it never ceases to amaze me how many of them will point to two female television characters from the 1960’s when describing their earliest recollection of having submissive desires. They point to Julie Newmar as Catwoman and Diana Rigg as the leather wearing Emma Peel of “The Avengers”. Both of these women were dominant, they wore leather or fetish clothing, and they radiated with a D&S sexuality. Catwoman left a lasting impression on the sexuality of many men, as they would watch Batman or better yet, boyish Robin, being tied up and teased by the fetish clad and sexy female. The psychological and sociological symbolism of such a scene was very profound as it portrayed how a powerful woman renders men weak and helpless. It was fantasy but the males could identify with it because such scenes stirred their submissive nature.
The male desire for Female Domination is evident throughout Pop Culture and the smart female knows how to capitalize. Madonna has been able to combine music, sexuality and female power into a Pop Culture empire. Her popularity and fan following rivals that of the Beatles and Elvis. Madonna’s music and music videos portray an aggressive, sexual and strong woman. Much like Pop Culture itself, Madonna has evolved from being suggestive about Female Dominance (Blonde Ambition) to openly portraying D&S in her music and videos (Erotica).
Shania Twain is another Pop Culture Diva who has successfully combined her music with a public image that depicts female dominance and power. Although her music is of the traditionally more conservative Country variety, Shania is not unaccustomed to posing in fetish clothing in her videos or while on stage (including in front of a worldwide audience during Super Bowl XXXVII) and many of her songs celebrate the strong woman. The music of Shania appeals to a totally different audience than that of Madonna, but both of these women have ascended to the top of their extremely competitive industry by appealing to man’s desire for female dominance. While both women are very talented from an artistic standpoint, what has brought them success beyond imagination is the dominant and sexual aura they portray. The sexual, powerful female captivates men and Pop Culture in the new Millennium is not shy about promoting the dominant female or capitalizing on the submissive nature of man.
Here in the new Millennium, the battle of the sexes is over but women never viewed it as a battle. Women are no longer deceived into being submissive. Women are assuming their true natures and men cannot overcome dominant women. The submissive nature within men yields to the power of the female. In fact, men desire to submit to the female. The battle of the sexes is reduced to an internal battle within each male, as he tries to come to terms with his submissive desires in a society that expects him to be dominant. Some men take out that inner turmoil on women but it is a losing battle. The Genie is out of her bottle and women are liberated, educated and assuming their true, dominant natures.
Female Domination is still a minority lifestyle between couples. The professional Dominatrix thrives in our society because the majority of submissive men still must seek out Female Domination outside his home. Many men are eager to surrender themselves over to their wives but they hesitate because they fear their wives might reject them. The biggest obstacle to a female domination relationship is still the reluctance of the female. This just goes to show how successful our male dominated society has been in making women feel inferior to men. As women, we have been programmed since c***dhood that the man should be the dominant partner in a relationship or marriage. It is never easy to overcome our upbringing and our traditions. Women still struggle with thoughts that Female Domination is “abnormal”. This is especially true if they were raised in a strict religious upbringing. Women struggle with the guilt that they may be going against what God has designed.
The first time I was exposed to this lifestyle, I thought it to be strange and perverted. I attended a D&S support group with the preconceived notion that these people were sexually dysfunctional. However, I soon learned that most of these people were healthy and normal. There were people from all walks of life, religious backgrounds, and professions that were members of the D&S group I attended. Now I will confess that there are extremes that people go to with D&S that is not healthy but that is the same with all things. Eating is not a negative habit but taken to extremes, it can be unhealthy. The same goes for a person’s sexuality. From my years of studying and living this lifestyle, I can tell you that the desire of a man to submit to a woman is not perverted. As a matter of fact, it is very common among men. I believe it is the number one sexual desire among men living in our society. Perversion is defined as that which is outside the sexual normal. Domination and submission is very much within the normal of people’s sexual desires.
What women must keep in mind about Female Domination is the fact that men need it. It is almost always the man who will introduce the female domination lifestyle to the woman. A courageous man with submissive desires introduces female domination to his female partner. Why do men do this? It’s because men desire and need to be in submission to women. No matter how hard society or religion tries to tell men differently, something deep inside of them yearns to surrender to a powerful woman. These desires grow stronger with age and men will spend countless hours dreaming and fantasizing about Female Domination. Men will pursue these desires and struggle with these desires trying to come to terms with them.
The other side of this dynamic is that women who embrace the dominant role and who allow their dominant nature to come out, end up absolutely loving this lifestyle. It never ceases to amaze me how many women who once were real hesitant about being dominant, end up loving it so much that they later say that they would never go back to being in submission to a man or only having vanilla sex (intercourse) with a man. This lifestyle is liberating to women.
The number of couples who practice the Female Domination lifestyle has exploded over the past twenty years. Most of these couples keep it private but I can testify from the number of letters I receive that Female Domination is on the rise in our society. It may not enjoy a plurality yet but one only needs to look at the trends and the societal evolution that is taking place to see what is transpiring. As women continue to become dominant in college, in business and in politics, more women will naturally take the dominant role in their marriages and relationships. This is great news for the submissive male.
I like to equate D&S as a dance. The man seduces the female’s dominant nature with his submissive nature. She then begins to draw out more of his submissive nature with her dominant nature, which draws out even more of her dominance, which draws out more of his submission, and so on and so on. D&S works much like a magnetic f***e, with two opposites attracting. The Female’s dominance feeds off of the man’s submission and his submission feeds off of her dominance. The one needs the other to thrive and to grow. It is similar to how the plant world and the a****l world function with the plants giving us the oxygen we need and we in return give the plants the carbon dioxide they need. As we breathe in their gift we give them our gift as we exhale. So goes it with Dominance and submission. The female gives the male what he needs by dominating him and the male gives her his gift by submitting to her and treating her like his Queen.
The Female Domination lifestyle is a large umbrella that encompasses a wide variety of lifestyles and D&S activities. The common denominator is that the woman is the dominant partner. Female Domination is important because while it is a desire that primarily expresses itself in a man’s sexuality, it reflects the core desire within the male gender. It is that male desire for loving female authority that ultimately empowers women, one relationship at a time.
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