This is a print version of story A Brief Guide To BDSM By R. Rosethorn by thepaintedpagan from

A Brief Guide To BDSM By R. Rosethorn

Please note that I am also Randall Rosethorn... Dominus Randall Rosethorn, to be exact.

How to Play the Dom and Sub as a Sex Game

The BDSM lifestyle can be brought into the bedroom in small doses, even if you aren't into the whole scene. You can play the Dominant Master and Submissive Sex Slave theme privately, at home. It is crucial that both the "Dom" and "Sub" want to experiment with the lifestyle and that both parties agree to it. Mutual consent is very important whenever BDSM is an entertained concept of sexual expression. Also, you should both agree to some ground rules before you begin.

Things You'll Need: Use creative thinking as a lot of what you need can be found without having to shop online or by going to adult bookstores; although these things really create an overall air of excitement when both people are searching the net or cruising the adult novelty stores as a couple.

Flogging Tools: Whip, Riding Crop, Paddle or Cat O'Nine Tails. In a pinch you can achieve the same desired affect using the hand, a leather belt or a ruler. I prefer the light wooden ruler; the one with the brass strip running down one side as a straight edge. This works best for breast slapping and some light genital striking. The corner of the brass straight edge can be used to scratch the surface of the skin and really adds to the play! Another solution for a longer reach and a heavier-handed strike is to purchase three heavy-duty, wooden yard sticks. You will want to layer them one on top of the other and you will need to glue them together with wood glue. You should either apply wood clamps to them or some sort of direct, weighted pressure and then let them dry and allow the glue to harden for at least 48 hours. After that you should then bind them together with at least two rolls of black electrical tape. Another item that can be used is a wooden dowel, about as thick as the human thumb.

Blindfold: Again, this is an easy one and you can use just about anything. A store bought blindfold is not hard to come by. You can even use two of the cheap, black medical eye patches. They will work and so will bandannas or dark colored scarves. Sensory deprivation is one of the key ingredients to heightening your sub's arousal levels. When the vision is blocked it allows the mind to play tricks upon itself but at the same time it increases the overall stimulation created by hearing, touching and tasting.

Restraints: Silken or nylon rope, stainless steel chains and padlocks, handcuffs, bungee cords, neck ties or leather straps, etc. Once more it is something you can work out with your partner.

Ball Gag: This one can be easy to come by also. If you cannot obtain a professional quality ball gag you can make use of a golf ball tied securely within a bandanna, scarf or a clean pair of nylon pantyhose.

Erotic DVDs: Nothing gets a bound and blindfolded supplicant worked up easier than being made to lie helpless and prone while having to LISTEN to people having sex in the same room. The whole time not knowing if the Master or Mistress is actually in the room or not. At least until he or she is ready to reveal themselves.

Sex Toys: Vibrators, Massage Wands, Dildos, Anal Beads, Benwa Balls, etc. Again this list is self-explanatory.

Hot and Cold Implementable Sources: Candle wax, massage oils, baby oil, olive oil or even well-heated honey can be used. Buy one of those terracotta or clay Potpourri warmers to keep things like the honey or body oils hot. The key is to heat them on the stove top then transfer them to the Potpourri warmer so that they are a decent temperature when you are ready to use them.

Another, more advanced form of heat play is to use the ember of a cigar or cigarette. Either can be applied. And no I am not talking about pressing the cherry into the flesh to brand or anything fucked up like that. A skilled Dom with a steady hand and a fully trusting Sub will know what I am talking about here. You want to get close to the skin but do not touch it. Nor do you want to keep the ember in one place for too long. If you have no idea of what I am referring to here then it would be best advised for you to stay clear of the heat/hot play until you know what you are doing. A worthy Dom does not have to draw bl**d or leave third degree burns on their Sub(s).

Now, as pertaining to the cold play; go out and buy a few of those refillable water bottles with the long freezable inserts that are made to keep the water cold. Unless you want the mess then Popsicles or ice cubes are the name of the game. As a precursor to any of the play on heightened sensation I recommend running the air conditioning as cold as you can get it. There is something very erotic about a bound and blindfolded supplicant, restrained and shivering, fully nude in the middle of the bed with the room below 68 degrees that really sets off the his or her sense of feeling/touch. The Sub responds with much greater intensity this way, whether you are applying the hot or the cold play.

Tickle Tools: Feather Dusters or even things like Peacock feathers which you can find at Pier 1 Imports or World Bizarre.

Nipple/Genital Clamps; These can be purchased as professionally made items found online or at an adult novelty store. Or you can substitute them with wooden or plastic clothes line pins.

Set Ground Rules Between yourselves and agree upon them.

Remember this is not about just outright taking a person, tying them up and spanking the ever-living daylights out of them. Far from it. You want to take your partner to the edge of excitement and them bring them back again. Pleasure has to be used and the name of the game is to deny then fulfill and not always in that order. You have to mix it up. Use pleasure as the reward and controlled pain as the punishment but then in the next session you might try to turn it around and reward with pain then punish with pleasure. This makes it hard for the supplicant Sub to anticipate moods and attitudes in the powerful Dom.


If you do not know what this means then do everyone a favor and stick with normal foreplay leading into regular and sometimes dull coitus...

The Summary:

1. Choose a "safe word" before you begin playing. Memorize it and agree that if anyone says the safe word during play, the game stops immediately.

2. Playing Switch means you both choose who will be the master and who will be the slave.

3. Set some ground rules for the game according to your likes and dislikes; for example, no bl**d, no biting. The game is meant to be sexy, fun and exciting, not scary or hurtful in any way.

4. Have some fun with the game. The master can order the slave to perform sexual favors, or can perform sexual favors for the slave as a reward for good behavior.

In close I hope this will help people who are curious about the lifestyle. If this material offends you then you are obviously amongst the wrong gathering of people, in the wrong group and you have no doubt wasted your money on your AP status. I posted this to enlighten and to educate in hopes that it might bring a sense of excitement, (Or at least enlightenment.), to others. This material was written in my own words, based upon my own concepts and life experiences as a Dominant Master. Take it or leave it. Do what you will with the knowledge but always... ALWAYS, play it safe.

Thank You For Reading,

© 2000

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