This is a print version of story First Fuck Flop (Non-fiction) by femalesonly from

First Fuck Flop (Non-fiction)

Every word of the following first-hand account is true, as best I can remember:

It was the summer of '91, and I had recently moved to Lancaster, CA from Northern California. I was 16 years old, and horny as hell pretty much all the time. If you've read my other true story about my first orgasm, then you know that this story begins about two years after that.

I ran with some "interesting" people when I was younger...pretty much anyone I might meet at a party, at a dealer's house, perhaps at school when I wasn't ditching, etc...and even though I wasn't a bad looking guy, and hung out with progressively sluttier chicks who did all sorts of i*****l d**gs, I was also a bit shy when it came to actually getting my dick in ' I ended up with some heavy petting, make-out sessions, etc....until I met Vickie.

Vickie was a thick 16 year-old with milky white skin, a bleached platinum-blonde spiky hair-do, and enormous tits. One of the other main things I remember about her is that she was dumb as hell. I mean, I've fucked some vapid women, but I think Vickie has to be by far the dumbest. Not bimbo dumb, but white-trash dumb....but hey, beggars can't be choosers, right? :P

Anyway, I met her through a friend, who had been fucking Vickie's cousin Adam's former girlfriend. I know, I know: "huh?" At that time, practically everyone was fucking everyone else, or had been, or was trying to...anyway, it was through this mutual friend that I met a guy named Adam.

Adam was one of those guys you meet growing up who, the very first time you meet him, you're impressed by how fuckin' cool he is. This is a guy who just didn't give a fuck, a kind of latter-day "rebel without a cause" type....he was a year or two older than me, his favorite book was A Clockwork Orange, his favorite band was The Pogues, and his favorite past-time was fuckin' every hot chick in the neighborhood. While Adam and I were hanging out at his aunt's place one day, no doubt drinking, smoking, and listening to the Pogues (or Pistols), in walks Adam's lay of the day, Randi, followed closely by Vickie who was Adam's cousin and lived in the same house with Vickie's mother.

I didn't think Vickie was much to look at when I first laid eyes on her, and I still don't today. She would have been prettier if her hair had been longer, if she had dressed more femininely, or if she didn't talk like a piss-d***k long-haul trucker with an attitude problem. I barely gave her a second glance when I first saw her, and even then it was only to take a longer look at her massive chest, which had to be at least DD's, or even E's. She also had a piercing in her lip which made her talk kinda funny, and she usually sounded like she barely knew (or cared) what was coming out of her mouth.

After the girls arrived, and the light outside began waning, they started talking to Adam about our plans for getting fucked up that night. None of us had jobs at the time, and our parents were always broke as fuck, so it was common for us to find other means to "fund" our desire to get wasted. In this case, we decided we'd do a beer run at a local Alpha Beta (a grocery store) that was down the street. The four of us hopped into Vickie's mom's car, with Adam driving...the car was small, and it was a little cramped in the back, what with my already tall frame and Vickie's was alright with me, because while some indie / punk cassette played on the shitty stereo, Vickie and I had some incidental touching going on and I could already tell that she was a total slut....we'd barely spoken two words to each other, and here she was letting me get my "accidental" grope on in the backseat of her mom's little POS.

When we got back from stealing a case of Bud and two handles of Jack, the festivities kicked into high gear. It was dark outside, and almost as dark inside. The only light was from a few unscented candles that cast deep shadows into every corner...the dimness of the room meant you could do practically anything and someone on the other side of the room couldn't see shit. The air was thick with the smell of cigarettes and marijuana, and the copious amounts of alcohol we had procured meant we started not givin' a fuck pretty quick. There wasn't much talking going on, because the latest Pogues album "Hell's Ditch" was being blasted through the open door to Adam's room.

Since we weren't talking, Vickie (who had come over at some point to sit next to me on the couch) and I just started making out like crazy. Adam and Randi appeared to be doing something similar in the shadows across the room, but Vickie and I couldn't really see and didn't care anyway. I was so excited to be feeling on this little slut's titties through her shirt....they were the biggest tits I'd ever had the pleasure to squeeze, and I was lovin' it. I reached my hand up into her shirt, inside her bra, and started rubbing and tweaking her nipple. She moaned in response, and began to stroke my turgid cock through my Levis. After only a few minutes of this, Vickie whispered in my ear that we should go to Adam's room.

She didn't have to tell me twice, and so we quickly got up, with me leading her by the hand to Adam's room. The music was so fucking loud I could barely hear myself think, which was fine by me because I didn't need to think about what we were doing, and I damn sure didn't want to hear Vicki talking about whatever stupid shit might fly into her head and out her mouth. We left the door open, so we'd getjust a bit of light from the candles in the living room down the short hallway, because Adam's room was otherwise pitch dark. We sat on Adam's bed, and began to really feel each other up with some urgency....after what seemed like only a minute or two, Vicki pushed me back on the bed, straddled me, and began grinding her crotch on mine, which by this point was ready to burst right out of my jeans.

When she'd gotten herself good and soaked, right through the crotch of her own ripped and faded jeans, she got off me just long enough for us to pull our pants off and get back on the bed, with our lower halves naked while our torsos were still covered. She got on top of me, and began to grind her hot, sopping pussy on my eager erection. My first thought was "Wow, I can't believe I'm finally FUCKING for real!" My second thought was "Hmmm, this is a lot looser than my hand."

Now, while I hadn't fucked anyone up until that point, I've fucked my fair share of pussies after Vickie's, and I can honestly say I have never fucked a looser pussy. I don't have a small dick, and so every women I've ever fucked has felt pretty tight to me, sometimes too tight. But at the time, I didn't know what the hell was going on, only that it just didn't feel that great, because of the lack of friction between her pussy and my disappointed dong. After too long on my back, we flipped over and I started fucking her missionary with her legs up in the air. As you can imagine, the looseness only got worse, both because I had been fucking her for several minutes, and she now had her legs spread took what should have been a great first experience and quickly turned it from bad to worse. I'm not sure if it was because I was d***k, stoned, or just not that turned on by Vickie in the first place, but as I was plodding away, pumping Vickie's gaping hole like one of those Texas oil-drill's, I had a suddenly envisioned what it really felt like: stirring a paint bucket. Yup, my poor cock was a stir-stick, and I was slowly but surely mixing up a custom batch of white-trash primer in a 5 gallon-bucket.

To make matters worse, Vickie refused to take her bra off the entire time. Now, I never fucked her again (for obvious reasons) so I never found out if leaving her top on was a normal thing for her or not. I've speculated since then, that, since she was the kind of chick she was, maybe she had burn marks, cuts, or other damage to her tits or stomach area that she didn't want me to see. Who knows, all I know is not only am I fucking the Guinness Record holder for loosest 16 year-old vagina, but I'm being denied the one thing that MIGHT actually make the whole thing worth it.

From what I understand, it's common for a guy to ejaculate quickly (sometimes too quickly) during his first time. But, with all of this traumatic first-time letdown shit going on, I had to really focus and use my imagination to finally bust my nut. I couldn't tell you what I could have been trying to envision in my head, but I can guarantee you it wasn't Vickie's loose pussy or the titties being held hostage. When we were done, Vickie's idea of pillow talk (since the Pogue's CD was finished, it was now quiet) was rambling about her favorite Sepultura songs and what an asshole her 30 year-old ex-boyfriend Paul was.

We never fucked again, and I quickly grew tired of even hanging around with Adam because it seemed like Vickie was always there, and she annoyed the fuck outta me because not only was she dumb, not that pretty, but she ALSO had a loose pussy. I mean, off all the chicks to settle for in a cherry-bustin' moment, I went and nabbed myself a real winner.

Oh well...anyway, it makes for a good laugh now, and has for many years since it happened. My friends (and exes) have always gotten a kick out of the "paint bucket" analogy, and I hope you did too.

Vickie, wherever you suck! ;)

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