This is a print version of story The Monster the words create and the Demon filled by omalover from xHamster.com
The Monster the words create and the Demon filled
The demon winds whispers are my friends.
the madness.... my own.
The lies....my own.
Its loneliness...my own.
The whispers of hate and rage and insanity......my own..........
Upon going to the doctor and finally taking my new medication I was having a hard time writing but really needing to. I was struggling to find my minds voice again. In my struggle I was having a hard time as my fingers have never been without my words. My writing has always come easy. I have been without my external voice when I would shut down to the external world. During this time I would live on autopilot living day to day in a fog, all the days blending into one another till I couldn't define myself or my place in life any longer. Struggling to see myself and find myself I would change the world as I knew it, changing jobs too many times for any bad or nonexistent reasons that my demons could justify. Lashing out at the ones that loved me even though i couldn't feel it. Causing pain to the very people who were trying to relieve mine. This next part is that struggle to define myself with the new challenge.................
Wait... who is this new demon?
Why cant i hear my friends....My demons...My Fears.
Why has my insanity retreated into the shadows of fear....Why am i only left with rage?
Did you ever have the demons trust? He wondered with reckless confusion. Did he reach out to nothingness when he thought the winds cried warmth but only screamed cold lies of betrayal..........
The fog lifts to reveal hell.
As the demons screams fills the air the b**st stare into the abyss searching for the faint hint of a familiar trust searching for sanity, searching and reaching for honer and loyalty........
But only finding mistrust and betrayal and more hell.........the world he knows so well.
Do the winds offer you a friendship of trust and loyalty as they sharpen their claws on your rage with promises of betrayal.
I live my life of tormented hell forever running from the insanity and confusion of the demons whispers as they preach sermons of hate and rage, Pounding the pulpit to whispers of trust and love.
Fearful of loosing the faith, of loosing control, of the monster the words create and the Demon filled with hate.
Why?......Whispered the wind as the words lofted on the morning breeze.
Why cant you hear me?
Why cant my words reach home?
Why cant I feel you?
Where does my rage come from?
Why must the dogs of war bring forth that wich I have forsaken so long ago?
Have I finally earned my rightful place at the table of madness?
He rides with the wind, mind numb, breathing relaxed, the only feeling is the sound filtering through the solitude.
With every beat of the heart the b**st grows calmer and with every mile more human.
He rides to be, he rides to breath, he rides to live, he rides to be alive.......he rides so he dont run.....
The demons sl**p while the monster breathes.
The whispers are there.....in the shadows chanting, talking whispering words of pain, words of embrace, words of a new life.
Of loves lost, loves given to the wind and loves painfully sharp embrace.
Loves that cant have us and Loves we cant have.
The whispers mark time as the demons count the hours and the b**st forgets the days..........
as the angels embrace marks the solstice of end days...
and the minions count the seconds........
The gears move the mood as the wheels move the soul.
The wind breathes the fibers that hold the dream as it becomes the roads desire when the heart beats with the miles embracing the elegance of the winds secrets.
Beholden to the demons desires.
The marionettes dance a health dance without regard to the dance floor or the monsters they have picked for judges, dancing free unaware of the virus of damnation they are set to unleash on the land as the puppet master drinks from the alter of satin......
It sat...waiting, calling, beckoning, pulling my lust into the realm of reality as the heart beat calling out to the Demons harnessing the b**st of nature craving the ribbon of love riding the zipper of lust fire bellowing behind jumping, arching, leaping forward with the life bl**d of dreams free to outrun the monsters whispers...............
Do your words ring true........Is your heart true....Does your love fly true?
Do you share your whispers with the demons?
Do you seek that which you cannot have.
Do you seek to satisfy the shadows rage?
Is my love a games pawn?
Is my pain the bishop, strangled by direction?
Am I worthy of loves embrace..............Is this real.....
Story URL: http://xhamster.com/user/omalover/posts/13850.html