Billy is gone. The few months he lived with me were crazy and passionate, but he left to live with an new friend he met in another city, full of enthusiasm for making some real money from his art, leaving me with sadness and memories.
The memories will fade in time, I suppose, but now I just wait for a phone call, a text message, anything to feel his presence again..
In the frantic goodbye days before he left I promised to visit as soon as I could get away from work. But when he called me it always became a conversation late at night with him talking around my plans to fly up. It was never the right time because of how busy he was with all the plans for his own show in an art gallery where his friend worked.
The only thing left in my apartment are some books he no longer wanted and some underwear I found mixed with mine in the dryer. I press his undershirt to my face, wishing they hadn't been through the wash, trying to find traces of his scent through the chemical freshness of frabric softener.
I watch the sun set in a blaze of colors from my window, then strip and lay on my bed in the darkening room, touching myself. I want one of those rolling orgasms he used to give me by masturbating me while he licked my pussy. One that goes on and on until my whole body is just shaking like a leaf in a storm, and I don't want it to stop but I hear myself crying out because it is too intense and I feel like I am going to scream. I lose myself in the fantasy and rub my clitoris frantically as ecstasy engulfs me. I moan aloud as contractions curl me up, my eyes shut tight, stars dazzling me until i am finally quiet and shivvering, a little cold, alone, watching my breathing become gentle again.... still missing Billy.
Like this:
http://xhamster.com/movies/552193/shake.html
