September 30, 2010, 9:09 pm
Billy is gone. The few months he lived with me were crazy and passionate, but he left to live with an new friend he met in another city, full of enthusiasm for making some real money from his art, leaving me with sadness and memories.
The memories will fade in time, I suppose, but now I just wait for a phone call, a text message, anything to feel his presence again..
In the frantic goodbye days before he left I promised to visit as soon as I could get away from work. But when he called me it always became a conversation late at night with him talking around my plans to fly up. It was never the right time because of how busy he was with all the plans for his own show in an art gallery where his friend worked.
The only thing left in my apartment are some books he no longer wanted and some underwear I found mixed with mine in the dryer. I press his undershirt to my face, wishing they hadn't been through the wash, trying to find traces of his scent through the chemical freshness of frabric softener.
I watch the sun set in a blaze of colors from my window, then strip and lay on my bed in the darkening room, touching myself. I want one of those rolling orgasms he used to give me by masturbating me while he licked my pussy. One that goes on and on until my whole body is just shaking like a leaf in a storm, and I don't want it to stop but I hear myself crying out because it is too intense and I feel like I am going to scream. I lose myself in the fantasy and rub my clitoris frantically as ecstasy engulfs me. I moan aloud as contractions curl me up, my eyes shut tight, stars dazzling me until i am finally quiet and shivvering, a little cold, alone, watching my breathing become gentle again.... still missing Billy.
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February 5, 2010, 12:08 am
I've told this story somewhere else, but I will tell it again here.
A long while ago my boy friend at the time and I went to the beach for spring break. He wanted to go to a nude beach and asked around till he found out where one was. I said I would go with him as long as he agreed I wouldn't go nude unless I was comfortable. He loved it and took his bathing suit off as soon as we got there and found a spot for a blanket. I was a little nervous and wouldn't take off my bottoms and just took off my top to fit in a little and lay face down on the blanket, people watching.
He tried to pester me to go completely nude, which I wasn't ready to do, and he got up and went off for a walk on the beach by himself, probably to ogle the other women. I really didn't care about that and just wanted him to stop pestering me until I was more comfortable, so I told him fine, I was just going to stay put. He left a little annoyed at me, but he missed the best part of the experience.
After he left I noticed there was a young couple on a blanket not too far from us. She was stunning which is probably why my boy friend picked that spot to put our blanket down, barely out of her teens if even that. They both were incredibly fit with slim athletic bodies, and very tan. I couldn't stop looking up from my magazine and staring at them, and remember thinking they were probably locals not tourists.
She was sexy in a way that I admired without feeling jealous. A long mane of gold hair fell to about the middle of her back, and she had long legs, a tight bottom and small, firm breasts. I am attracted to girls as well as boys and I couldn't take my eyes off her. A short while after my boy friend was off on his walk they got up and went for a short swim. When they came back they dried themselves off and he lay on his back on the the blanket. She sat next to him, cross-legged, and began putting suntan lotion on him, rubbing it over his face, chest and legs.
I couldn't help but keep staring when she dribbled a little lotion onto his penis and began massaging it in. He lay perfectly still while she did this, but it wasn't very long before she had coaxed him into a full erection. It didn't bother either of them that they were on a public beach with people nearby watching them. She even waved at a another couple that walked by that she apparently knew. His eyes were closed and he lay perfectly still.
The girl was obviously in tune with her lover's body, and she was totally absorbed in keeping him erect without making him ejaculate. She grasped the base of his penis in the palm of one hand and slid it up in a long slow stroke to the the tip, lingering and carressing it for just a second or two before starting another stroke up with her other hand. Occasionally she would stop stroking him and just tease the tip of his penis with her fingernails or slide his foreskin up and down over the tip with the fingers of both hands before continuing to stroke him again.
After what seemed like forever, but was probably only 5 minutes or so his hips began move in rhythm with her carresses. I could tell he was about to cum and held my breath and stared straight at them, no longer even pretending to care about my magazine. She leaned over and whispered something to him and he nodded his head. I couldn't hear what she said, but his voice carried better. He was begging her to make him cum, but she just laughed and continued to tease him. After a minute or so of teasing, she began rubbing the tip of his penis in short, rapid little strokes with the thumbs of both hands until his hips began shuddering. I heard him moan and a huge spurt of semen shot up onto his chest and then kept cumming in shorter spurts. She continued stroking him very gently until semen covered her hand. When he began losing his erection, she rubbed the sperm into his chest and groin, mixing it with the suntan lotion into a white cream. When his penis was finally soft she lay down beside him and they kissed.
I was in total shock but I was so horny after that I took my bottoms off and went for a swim. I never said anything to my boy friend when he came back from his walk because I knew if I did he would want me to do the same thing to him right there on the beach. But I couldn't stop thinking about it and that night at the hotel I masturbated him and tried all the little tricks I had seen. The next morning we made very passionate love again.
February 4, 2010, 9:50 pm
He's been away over a week and I am in bed alone again. I miss him making love to me. I miss teasing his penis, feeling it hard and throbbing in my hand and hearing his little sigh as I take it in my mouth.
I am naked, on my sofa, the lights low, touching myself while I imagine him saying things to me as I tease and lick him, making him wet, like..."mmmmm, suck it baby, suck it, ohhh it feels eel so good". I imagine him nearing his orgasm, the swelling of his shaft, the way his balls tuck up inside him just before he cums. When I finally take the soft pink tip of his penis in my mouth and make him orgasm he cries out something silly like "ooooo I'm cumming now baby, I'm cumming, oh please don't stop!"
I long for the taste of his orgasm pumping his sperm into my mouth.
But he's not here..... he's been away so long .....
I need a good orgasm to end the lonely night......... I content myself with masturbating. I like to masturbate in many ways, using my fingers, a vibrator, and by rubbing my pussy against my pillow.
One of my favorite ways is to start in the shower. I spread my legs, let the water beat down on my back and shoulders and rub my clit. My legs soon get very weak, so I dry off and finish in bed. I spread my legs wide open and use the thumb and fingers of one hand to separate my pussy lips and the other hand to stroke and massage my clitoris. I like to put one or two fingers in my vagina while I rub my clitoris with my other hand. It feels delicious to wet one hand with my saliva and then squeeze and rub my clitoris with my thumb and fingers.
When my juices are flowing and fingers are wet I like to stop for a while then start again. I try to build up slowly by bringing myself almost there, almost there, and then stop and start again. I fantasize while doing this, somethimes about my lover and and how I love sucking his penis, remembering the taste of his semen when I make him cum.
Sometimes, though, I find myself dreaming about another woman, someone I see occasionally, a friend with deep blue eyes, gorgeous long sandy hair, thinking of all the things I could do to her, and she would do to me.
My orgasms are very intense, my eyes roll back and my hips come off the bed. I tingle all over, legs weak, breathing heavy, heart pounding, my whole body shaking ....... I drift to sl**p slowly .... soon my boy friend will be back. I want want him to awaken me in the morning by rubbing his beautiful penis over my lips, pressing the tip, soft as a rose petal, gently against them, urging my lips to part so that he can slip the tip into my mouth and let me suck it, gently, then urgently, like a hungry baby on her mother's breast.
January 30, 2010, 5:57 pm
I want to tell about my first time to make love with another girl. I haven't been with her for years but maybe she will see this. I still think about her from time to time......
I was sl**ping over at my best friend's house one summer night. School was out and her parents had already gone to bed. It was after midnight and we we were up late in pajamas talking in her bedroom. I don't remember exactly how old we were, but I remember I had just gotten my first period a few months earlier.
She was a couple of years older, with lovely long blonde hair and a budding figure that drove boys in school crazy and made me secretly jealous. All the boys (and some of the girls) in school were either shy and nervous around her or always trying to hook up with her. I pretended to see her instead of my own image every time I looked in the mirror. I was short and very skinny made myself up to look and act as much like her as I could.
She was telling me all about her new boyfriend, who was even older than her and had his own car. She told me that night that she would never make let him put his penis inside her and have intercourse no matter how much he teased her or how horny he made her feel. She loved him but was afraid of getting pregnant. She was afraid she would give in because he kept trying to every time they made out in his car and it was so hard to stop. One night he got her jeans and panties off and he was masturbating her. She said it made her so hot she was almost ready to let him enter her, but she decided to give him a blow job to see if it would make him stop pestering her.
This made me curious and I started asking her a lot of questions about what it was like to have a boy put his penis in your mouth. It sounded really gross, because she said she let him ejaculate in her mouth. All of a sudden I was really curious what that felt like and how sperm tasted.
She asked me if I wanted her to show me how good it felt when a boy kissed her and how it made you melt and want to make him feel good too. I said I did becaause I had never been kissed on my mouth by a boy ever and I wanted to know how it could make her want to let him do that to her.
She started kissing me gently but it felt strange and made me giggle. I was scrunching up my lips together and offering them to her with my eyes closed really tight. She told me to relax and open my mouth so our tongues could touch. She kissed me passionately and I caught my breath and stopped giggling when her tongue softly probed my open mouth. After a few minutes she stopped and asked me if I liked it. I felt strange and wasn't sure what I was feeling but I didn't want her to stop so I said yes maybe I did like it.
She pressed up against me and kissed my neck and then her breath was hot in my ear. She whispered that if I really wanted to know how it felt with a boy I had to take my pajamas off. I didn't know what to say and held my breath because I didn't want her to see me naked. I was ashamed because my breasts were so tiny. I just had little puffy areas around my nipples and hers were already so much bigger than mine. It was too late to stop though, because she was already pulling my top over my head. She took her pajamas off too and made me lie down on the bed and I let her slip my bottoms off. She lay down on her side next to me and started kissing me again, both of us naked in the dark.
I was nervous and started to squirm away when she squeezed my little nipples between her fingers. It hurt a little and I must have winced. She whispered
"It is OK, just shush and close your eyes."
I squeezed my eyes tight and her lips were soft and her breath warm when her mouth found my nipples. I felt a thrill as she kissed them and brushed her open hand lightly over my pussy. My pubic hair was beginning to come in and I hadn't started shaving yet. Her touch felt good and somehow I let her gently spread my legs apart. She put her fingers in her mouth to moisten them and I moaned when she began slowly rubbing my vagina lips. It felt so good that now I didn't want her to stop.
Soon her open mouth was on mine again. Her lips felt hot and I put my tongue in her mouth to show her I was learning. The wetness of my pussy juice was spreading as her fingers carressed my pussy and sucked on my npples. My legs were like rubber and I offered no resistance when she spread them apart and climbed on top of me. She began licking and kissing me down my chest and tummy. Her tongue lingered around my vagina and then she opened me gently and began sucking my clit.
No one had ever kissed me down there or even touched me, and at first I was afraid and wanted her to stop. I thought I might smell bad, and tried to close my legs and push her head away. But she kept licking and sucking. It started to feel really good as she rolled my wet clitoris between her fingers and then slid just the tip of a finger inside me. Oh, god, it felt so good and I started pushing back against her and made her finger go a little deeper. I began to moan and she kept fingering me very gently as she kissed her way up my body until her lips were hot against mine. I could smell the musty scent of my own vagina on her face when she kissed me. I was surprised I liked the smell and how it made me feel sexy that she seemed to like it too.
The pleasure I was feeling seemed so naughty but it was sexy and good at the same time. I was breathing hard and must have cried out again because she told me to put the pillow over my mouth. Her long hair brushed my belly as she licked her way slowly from my lips to linger on my nipples again and then back to my vagina. This time I grabbed her head in both hands and pulled her mouth down onto me. She took my clit in her mouth and I could hear myself moaning again as I pushed against her and she sucked harder and harder.
I held my breath. My eyes were squeezed so tight I saw pinpoints of colored stars I couldn't stop myself from moaning into the pillow. My whole body shook from the pleasure sweeping from my vagina to my toes and up to the top of my head. I heard myself begging her in a loud whisper not to stop and began quivering and shaking uncontrollably. When I finally stopped shaking it seemed I had just awakened from a dream. We were holding hands in a silence that was deliciously intimate and awkward at the same time.
After what seemed an eternity lying naked with her, she kissed me gently on my lips and whispered she loved me. She asked if I loved her and I hugged her tight and said yes I did and kissed her again.
She stroked my face and asked would I do to her what she had done to me. I was nervous and afraid to say yes so I whispered something that didn't make any sense.
She said it was OK if I didn't and I could just hold her while she made herself come. She had me lay back against the headboard of the bed and nestled her bottom between my legs, leaning her back against my breasts. She began masturbating herself very quietly at first and then more frantically until I felt her shuddering against me. I felt so close to her as I held her tight against me and thought yes, I did love her. I pulled her hair back and kissed the back of her neck while she brought herself to another climax.
After we kissed again, she got up to get a bible out of a bookshelf. She made me swear on it never to tell anyone what we had done. I did and then went to sl**p in her arms but I woke up groggily about five in the morning to go to the bathroom to tinkle. I put my nightie back on when I came back to the bedroom. She stirred as I slipped back into the bed and snuggled up against her.
I watched her breasts rise and fall with her breathing for a while before pulling the covers up back to her chin. It was just in time because her mom got up early and looked in on us a few minutes later. I pretended to be asl**p and was glad she hadn't caught us naked together.
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