"But I will not take your collar this time."
The Man - You do not know whether to be angry, sad, scared or happy as you sit in the car on your way to the airport. The words made so much sense last night, when he explained this. When he explained he wanted to give you a chance to go to your limits. To travel down roads you may only get to see once in your life. To explore what can only be explored very rarely and under very specific circumstances. You even felt pain in your heart for him when he told you the two of you would have to part, maybe for a longer period of time and that he would be willing to do so for you, for your benefit.
Now that the time is really there it feels different. You have doubts, you are nervous. Especially about the fact that there is very little explanation. Hardly anything actually. Accept for the plane ticket to Europe and the reassurance that you will be guided and taken care of. You have to pull all your strength together to believe him, to follow his guidelines, go through customs instead of running back and board the plane. Has he planned to be late, making sure you didn't have to wait? Your name is already called and you hurry to the gate. What is this?
The long flight and the transfer with a little plane to this small airstrip have exhausted you. Too many mixed emotions, too many confusing thoughts. And now there is this chauffeur in his grey uniform. So very continental, yet so understanding, although firm. Who is he?
"Welcome Madame," he says as he gently but firmly takes your arm and leads you to the huge limousine. The windows are blinded and your heart misses a few beats as you hear the doors locking. In panic you grab the handle and try to open the doors. It's no use. The blinded glass shield between your compartment and the chauffeur's doesn't allow you to see anything, but you scream anyway. There is no response. The car starts and drives off, you still pulling the door handle, desperately.
"Relax Madame," you hear the loudspeaker say. "Your resistance is useless. Your aeroplane ticket is one way. You can not return. Neither can you leave this car unless I want you to and I have very specific instructions. Nothing you do or say will make me do anything else but follow these." With a click the speaker is switched off and you are left speechless, breathing heavily, trying to understand your situation."
After a short drive the car stops and the door is opened. Uncertain you get out. You are in the middle of the woods. You want get back in the car, but too late. The door is shut.
"My bag ..." you yell. "My things." But it doesn't help. Already the car is driving off, taking your bag, your passport, your money, everything with it. You run a few steps, but it is no use. You yell out. It doesn't help.
Just as you are at the verge of breaking down in sheer panic a strong hand grabs your neck and keeps it still in an iron grip.
"You have been told to relax, Teresa. Now why don't you just do that," a dark voice says. You can not turn your head. The grip is too tight and too painful. It makes your knees weak. Another hand swiftly rips your dress apart and soon you are completely naked, in the middle of the woods, held firmly by the hand of a strange man.
"Now listen carefully, Teresa. There is a relatively easy way to go about this and there is a hard way. You can have it either way. I don't care. It is totally up to you. You can either obey or resist. Resistance will only get you into more trouble and will prolong your stay here. Probably considerably."
I pull up on your toes. "Lay your hands on your back."
The grip on your neck hurts. Hurts very much. There is little else you can do. Reluctantly you do as you are told and you feel cold steel lock around your wrists. The cuffs are harsh and painful. Even the slightest movement makes the steel cut painfully into your flesh. The grip on your neck is released. You feel your eyes being covered with a silk blindfold. The softness and gentleness seems to contradict totally with the pain and the harshness of the cuffs. A rough rope is tied loosely around your neck. Not tight, but tight enough to make it impossible for you to pull your head out. Roughness following on softness again. What is this. You feel the rope being pulled.
"Follow me Teresa," you hear me say.
"What do think I am? A mule?" you shout.
"Even worse," I say. "A mule won't bite the hand that feeds it. Now follow me and shut up. Or do I need to drag you?"
A sharp pull f***es you to start walking. Tears come to your eyes. You don't want to cry. You don't want to show your panic, your uncertainty. Yet you can not stop it. I seem to show very little understanding for the fact that you are blindfolded and keep up a quick pace. You stumble behind me, half walking, half being pulled forward by the rope that cuts into your neck. It hurts. It is a long walk and you are exhausted when you finally feel you are brought into a house. You feel cold stone tiles under your bare feet. They hurt. The cold is good.
You are positioned, standing upright. The rope is taken from your neck and my hands grab your shoulders. Gentleness and softness again.
"Relax Teresa. Relax." You hear me say. "One more thing and then you will be taken care of."
Still blindfolded you feel me kneeling in front of you. A piece of rough rope is being tied around your left ankle. Tied to nothing else. Just around one ankle. Just ordinary rope. Nothing fancy. Then I get up and take your head in my hands.
"Now listen good Teresa. That piece of rope will stay there for as long as I want it to. No matter how much you will hate it, no matter how much it will irritate you or burn on your skin, you will leave it there."
I do not expect any answer. Instead I lead you through the room. When the blindfold is taken of and the cuffs are unlocked it takes you a while to adjust to the light. Before you do you hear a sharp click and footsteps walking away. When you finally look around you are alone. Alone in a luxurious bedroom. There is bed, a small but comfortable coach, a private bathroom, a small bar and anything you might need. All your own brands or better. Even some things you would never expect. But there is also something else. There is no door. Instead, there is a gate, which is very much locked ......
Teresa - My eyes lowering to the floor and that is when I again take note of the course length of rope that is tied around my left ankle I kept my eyes fastened on the gate as I listened to the sound of footsteps echoing down the hall. I could not believe what was happening to me. How could he do this to me? I trusted him. I gave him my love and this is what I get for it? A room with a gate instead of a door. My mind is ablaze with thoughts and I feel myself on the verge of a panic attack and I quickly give myself a rough mental shake and take several deep calming breaths. I tell myself to be rational about this as it is very apparent that I cannot leave this room let alone this place on my own. Once again I slowly survey my surroundings and I take in the cosy room with its beautiful furnishings and yet my eyes keep returning to the gate. I lose control once more and rush up to it and begin to pull hard at the heavy steel bars and raise my voice in a loud scream.
"Let me out of here!!" I scream down the hallway and I get even more angry and frightened as I hear my voice echo back to me. "Let me out NOW!! You have no right to keep me locked in this room like a prisoner! Like an a****l!"
I continue to scream until my voice becomes little more than a hoarse whisper and I realise no one is going to come rescue me. I am alone, locked in a small comfortable prison god only knows how far from anyone who can or will help me. My reality slowly begins to sink in and I am filled with such a strong feeling of hopelessness and desperation that I lay my head on my knees and begin to weep, silent wracking sobs, hating myself for giving in but unable to stop myself.
I must have fallen asl**p because when I looked up from my spot on the floor again it is darker in my room and I get up slowly to go to wash the gritty feeling from my face. As I move toward the bathroom I see you are there sitting on my bed just watching me and I start letting out a little scream.
"Who the hell are you and why am I here?" I ask you as I look down at you sitting on my small bed. You remain silent as you regard me, your arms folded across your chest and one leg crossed casually over the other. Your only noticeable movement is the slight raising of one finely arched brow as you hear my rudely asked questions.
"First of all." you say as you rise up off the bed and move toward me, "I am everything to you right now. I am your father. I am your teacher. I am your confessor and your punisher. I am the one who will keep you warm and will make sure you are fed and watered. I will protect you from yourself but I will make you realise your fears."
"Second of all, you are here at his request and your desire."
You see me start to protest your words and hold up one hand to halt me from speaking and to my astonishment and your amusement I close my mouth and continue to listen to your words. "In time Teresa, you will admit this even to yourself."
I look at you in disbelief and then my head drops in my embarrassment at the truth behind your words. My eyes lowering to the floor and that is when I again take note of the course length of rope that is tied around my left ankle and my head raises up and I look at you again my eyes narrowed and angry.
"Take this off right now!" I say in as loud a voice as my raw throat will allow. I bend down and make a feeble attempt at untying the complex knot before you come forward and grasp my hands in yours gripping them painfully.
"Listen to me right now Teresa! You had best lose this attitude of yours because it will get you nothing but a very sore bottom or worse in a very short period of time. You are here for as long as he and I see fit so you had best get used to the idea fast. You will obey or you will be f***e to obey. It makes no difference to me. Is that understood?" You give my hands a sharp squeeze with each word and soon pain is coursing through my fingers and up to my arms. Tears of pain mixed with fear and anger spill freely down my reddened cheeks as I try to pull away from you. In my panicked state I lean forward and try to push you away from me and this angers you. You grab me by my hair and pull me to the bed where you quickly cuff my hands and attach the cuffs to a short chain that is hanging from a ring above my head. You stand for a moment above me your eyes dangerous narrow slits in the fading light that still lingers in the small room. "Take this time little girl to get used to the idea that this will be your home and that I own your very life for as long as I see fit. For in the morning if your disposition is not greatly improved I will have to improve it for you. I assure you "little girl" that if I have to improve your disposition for you, you will not like it all. Is that understood?"
I look up into your eyes and see my darkest fears in them and cannot do anything else but nod my head slowly to which you reach out and pull my head back again leaning in close to my face, your eyes once again locking with mine.
" I said is that understood Teresa?" I begin to tremble violently and stammer in a raw whisper.. "Yes Master that is understood."
Alexus - That is why, on this early fall day, I knew something important was about to happen. It was cool that afternoon and I had been working in the rose garden, picking flowers for Master's dinner table. Our maid brought the envelope to me and then left me alone. I looked down at the "A" on the envelope in disbelief. My fingers traced the ink over and over again as my mind began to fill with memories. It was from Him. There was no question.
I sat in my chair, here in the garden with the envelope held to my chest. I looked out over the vast gardens, at the changing leaves and remembered... It has been over two years since I left The Mansion. There has not been a day go by that I have not thought about The Man, or the things we experienced. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. Even knowing that this day would eventually come, I was still almost afraid to open the letter, not sure if I even could. My life with Master David has been wonderful since I returned from The Mansion. I am a true slave, mind and body to him now. I serve without hesitation and have never been happier or more fulfilled. That is why, on this early fall day, I knew something important was about to happen. The Man wouldn't summon me for no reason. I was amazed that simply touching the letter uncovered emotions I had long since put away.
I opened it slowly and began to read. He mentioned a project, and invited me to be a part of it, to work with him. No details, just like before. I called Master David and of course he already knew I was going. He told me that he loved me and was proud of me, and wished me a safe trip, and speedy return. There were the tickets, all the arrangements made. There was really nothing for me to do, but get on the plane. I stood for a very long time in our garden staring off into the distance, remembering. A chauffeur arrived to drive me and I rode to the airport deep in silent thought. I thought about my first trip to The Mansion and how different this journey was, how different I was. I wondered what The Man would think of me, if he would be pleased.
I arrive and there is a car waiting for me just as before. This time I am allowed to sit up front, and am served champagne. I toy with my collar nervously, and remember how David hates me fidgeting. I calm myself and put my hands in my lap, legs slightly spread, always behaving as a slave. We drive for a very long time, and I enjoy the beautiful countryside. The driver explains that I am to meet The Man at a restaurant first.
We arrive first at a small cabin and he opens the door and e****ts me in. It is a small but lovely cabin with a bath already prepared for me. The driver hands me a box with instructions to put on what is inside when I'm done bathing. He tells me to leave my small handbag behind when I leave and then he steps outside.
I pour a glass of wine and undress slowly. I take my time in the bath relaxing after the very long journey. I dry myself and arrange my hair in a loose pile on top of my head. My only adornments will be my diamond collar which I never remove and the tiny gold lock between my legs. I open the box to find a beautiful black evening gown. Of course he would even know my favourite colour...
I smile as I think of him picking out this dress just for me. It fits my body like a glove, my exact size. It flows elegantly as only silk can, to my ankles. To one who didn't know better, it appears to be a normal gown. It is split however, so that when one sits, the dress falls open exposing your legs, your sex. This is as it should be, a slave should always be accessible to her Master. I step out of the cabin and the driver once again e****ts me to the car. We drive a short distance down the hill to the restaurant. I am very aware of my nakedness on the leather seats of the car, but the driver pays no mind. It is almost dark when my door is opened and I step out into the evening air. Looking around, I receive no instructions from the driver. I begin to walk slowly towards the restaurant, down the hill. There in the twilight, I see Him. He is standing with his back to me, watching the river.
"Did you think I wouldn't come?" I ask, almost a whisper.
You turn to me and smile and I run the rest of the way. You grab me and hold me close and I am awash with emotion again. It is like no time has passed at all. There are tears in my eyes almost instantly, though I cannot tell you why. You quiet me, drying my tears, squeezing me tightly. You have me step back so you can get a look at me and I am suddenly self conscious. I step back, blushing. My hands go behind my back, standing tall, eyes lowered. Your eyes take in every inch of me and I can tell that you approve.
You lead me into the restaurant and we are seated. You begin to speak, talking of The Mansion. You tell me that it is not ever to be used again, in the manner that it was when I was there. You say that you have one last project, one last very special person, and then there will be no more. I touch your hand as you speak and for the first time that evening, our eyes meet. I know it is forbidden, but I see volumes in your eyes, things you would never tell me.
You say that things have changed since I went away, that you are not the same. You don't need to explain further to me. The bond I have with you tells me that our week together changed us both, that you too have been affected, and things are never to be the same. Perhaps we both left part of ourselves in the meadow that sunny afternoon when I was released.
I cannot tell you exactly why this is, but I understand with out you having to explain. You speak again of this special person, it is new to her, all the feelings, the experiences. You talk of how different it would be for you, for The Mansion and for me. I look at you, almost asking why I am here. You explain that you want us to work together, that you feel it should be that way this last time.
We eat dinner in silence for a while, both lost in thought. I am looking out the window, watching the water cascade off the wheel and sipping my wine. You touch my hand and I lower my eyes in respect.
"Will you do this A? Will you take this journey with me, with her?"
I swallow hard, my heart beating loudly. I feel the old fears welling up inside me, but I remember, I am stronger now. I take a deep breath and put my small hand on yours.
"Of course Sir, I will do any thing you ask..."
The Man - When we arrive at the mansion I hold out my hand. You understand the gesture immediately and take off your dress. I lay my hands on your shoulders and look deep into your eyes.
"This again is not going to be easy A, albeit for maybe some different reasons. From now all rules apply again. No speaking, head down, hands behind your back and - most important, perfection." I hand you a key. "Now go to the room you got to know so well. You will find Teresa there. She is currently cuffed. I want you to release her, talk to her and explain the very basic rules to her. Then you come to me."
Alexus - It feels good to be back here again, though I'm not sure exactly why. I am honoured to be with you, for you to request my presence. Does that mean you need me, at least in some small way? Dinner was wonderful, but emotional. I had no idea I would feel as strongly as I do about seeing you again, seeing this house, knowing there was another woman here, knowing what she was to endure. I try to sort my feelings. I am happy for her, I know the road is difficult, but there is no more rewarding life, if she can make it. I am awed by you, by the things you can do to a woman, by your insight into us, into me. I am afraid for Teresa as well, there will be great pain, and difficult lessons, and I suppose I am always afraid for me too. Then there is the tiny little dark part of me that is a bit jealous. Your attentions will be on her, your hands, your mind...I am ashamed of this emotion and wish I could remove it, and I will not speak of it, not ever.
I recognise the look you give me and remove my dress at once and stand next to you wearing only my collar. Being close to you again, my body feels as if it lives on its own. I have no control over my desires. I am a purely erotic, sexual creature. Each time you lean close to speak to me, I ache to pull you even closer. I find myself straining to hold back. I watch your lips as you drink your wine, as you talk. I watch your hands as they light your cigarette. I remember those hands on my body, creating both pain and pleasure. I think that you must have no idea how difficult it is for me to be this close to you again. You ask me to go to speak with the young woman, to talk to her of rules. To try and help her find her place here. I am afraid, because I remember my own feelings, but I want to do this for you, for her (for me?). I walk slowly down this familiar hallway, towards the room I spent seven days in. I know the path well. My hands are shaking, this time I hold the key. I open the door and see her standing.
I open my mouth to speak to you and see the fear in your eyes. Your wrists are cuffed to the ceiling and you back away slightly. You are beautiful and I reach out to touch your lips, but you pull away. I wish I could comfort you, to help you understand that this is the only way and that you WILL survive.
"Teresa, I'm here to help you. I wanted to explain the rules, but more than that I want to let you know that I understand what you are going through. It is your Master's wish, you must do this for him. Following the rules is the way to do that. You will learn many things here, about obedience, about behaviour... but the most important lesson, one you will not leave here until you learn... is to learn to let go. That is something that must be taught, we don’t seem to be able to do that on our own."
I reach out and stroke your hair, wipe your tears.
"You are lovely, Your Master must be proud, " I smile. You do not speak, and remain looking angry. I move slowly toward the gate. I stand with my back to you, running my hands over the iron bars. I almost hear myself crying in the dark years ago, holding these bars, calling for someone to come. I shiver and turn, moving back to you. My demons are my own and I am here for you this time.
"This was my prison once too Teresa, let me help you."
I reach up and uncuff your wrists, rubbing them softly. I touch my lips to each one, trying to ease the marks. You remain silent and I explain to you that you must prepare yourself each morning and kneel on the cushion. That you are not to speak unless spoken to, that your hands must be kept behind your back and you must follow all instructions. I turn to look back at your face and see you are sitting, holding your arms folded... closed.
"The road to total submission is not an easy one Teresa, but it is one your Master has chosen for you. You must remember that you are here of your own free will. This place is only a prison until you submit. If I can help you, I will be here.. sl**p well"
I turn the key in the gate and step out. I look back once, to see you sitting alone on your bed. I lock the gate and walk quietly down the hall.
The Man - I open the doors to the garden and walk outside, light a cigarette and wonder what the next days will bring. My nostrils are still filled with your perfume. My hands still feel your soft skin. For a brief moment I wonder if this has been a good idea at all, trying to do what I did to her with another woman and trying to share that with you. I look up at the moon. Yes, it will be difficult, but it will also be good. For both of you. I hear your footsteps.
"Come out into the garden A." Early fall can be very beautiful here. The evening air is still warm but not unpleasant. I lay my arm around your waist and walk with you through the garden. Not a word is spoken. Then I take you inside and lay you down on the bed, cuff your hands to the top end and slip inside you. I roll over on my side, pulling you against me .
"sl**p tight. I am going to stay inside you tonight." I kiss your eyes.
Alexus - I return to your room. You are standing out in the garden, looking up at the moon smoking a cigarette. Do you feel as familiar as I do here, like we have done this a million times? I am awash with emotion again, watching your profile, wondering what you must be thinking about. My nipples harden in the slight chill and I take a deep breath. You must have heard me because you turn and look at me. I lower my eyes, hands behind my back and wait. When I can stand it no more, I look up to you. There is only the moonlight now to light the way. Standing perhaps 5 feet apart, we speak volumes with out saying a word. I am thinking of Teresa, of her difficult journey. I am thinking of my own journey and of the connection I have with you. I think about this house and its effect on people.
It has been a long day and there will be longer ones to come. You move closer to me and lead me silently back in to the bedroom. Your big soft bed feels good to me, and I begin to relax. I try to clear my mind of all the worries I have. Now you are touching me, you are leaving a blazing trail every where your hands touch. I close my eyes and I let go.....I am yours.....and you know that. You take my wrists and cuff them to the top of the bed rail. I would beg you now, if I could speak.....if I could remember the words... but you are taking your time. Your lips are on mine, your tongue is part of me... I can smell nothing but the male scent of you, I am eclipsed by the power of you. Then you are inside me. Nothing else will matter to me now
To be continued…..