The Man - I bring you out into the outdoor training area and make stand in the middle of the sandy area.
"Hands behind your head A and keep your hair out of the way." I walk away and return a few moments later with a long, thick catwhip.
"Now tell me A, what where you thinking when I taught Teresa her first lesson?" My voice isn't harsh. Actually very understanding.
"I ... I felt sorry for her, Sir."
"And you wanted to take her place, didn't you?"
"Yes .... yes Sir," you stammer, blushing and trembling. Embarrassed by the fact that you had forgotten for a moment how well I can read your mind.
"And do you think that would have helped her in any way?"
"No Sir. I'm sorry. I must not think like that, but it so difficult."
"And did I spot some jealousy as well, A?"
You could sink into the ground right now. "Yes ...... Sir."
"Well, if you desperately want to take somebody’s pain, you might as well take your own. You will whipped, A and in a very special way. You will turn around after every lash, alternately offering me your back and your front. And you will determine yourself how long and how much you want to suffer for me. I will not stop until you tell me - or until I will know - you have given me everything you have got, do you understand that?"
The whipping starts. The long leather strokes hit you time and time again. You turn and turn and turn again, taking well over a hundred lashes. The world is spinning and you have difficulty keeping your balance.
Then the f***e is increased and you yell out in pain, arching your body, stretching it out into the open air, your mouth wide open, desperately gasping for breath. You fall on your knees. Tears are flowing down your cheeks like small rivers, leaving dark spots in the sand. The lashes do not stop. You can not stand anymore and can not move.
"Have you taken enough A?"
"No Sir, no, please go on. I need more. Make me suffer for you, please." It comes out almost in panic.
"Then remain still now."
The whip comes again, at full f***e now and you fall forward, wriggling your body in pain. You manage to get up again, your body now cover with fierce red stripes, blue spots showing through and you literally sweating little drops of bl**d now; sand, bl**d, sweat and tears mixing on your burning skin. You fall again on your back and can not get up. I look at you, sweating heavily myself. My arm is painful and my heart cries out.
"No, Sir, no."
I step forward and spread your legs with the tip of my boot. I bend over and take the lock out. Then I stand over your head, one foot on each side.
"Push up your hips." The whip comes down and hits you full between the legs. You yelp and wriggle in the sand below me. Again and again and again the leather tortures your most tender spot. Then I wait for a moment and observe you.
"The final two will be what is called the crucifix, A. Relax as much as you can and keep your legs apart." I step back, standing aside of you now. You look up into the sun. The light and the emotions are blinding your tear-filled eyes. You can not see me very clear, just a silhouette towering above you. You see the whip go up in the air, high above my head. Then it hits your breast with a f***e you have never felt before. All air is driven out of your lungs, you feel like your breasts are splitting open before the a****l-like roar comes out. It is not a cry of pain, but a cry of immense strength, immense power. I reposition myself above your head and swing the whip high into the air again, then let it come down in between your breasts, over your belly, the tips biting deep into your labia.
When you regain yourself a little your feel water. And you feel me against your burning back. My hands are touching you, very, very lightly, bringing some sort of oil on it. Now you notice you are in the large Jacuzzi. You close your eyes and carefully lean back, as much as the pain will let you .....
Alexus - We are walking slowly towards the training area. It is a place I know well, one I have visited many nights since, in my dreams. You look at me, and I know you can see right through me. It is a thing I have never understood about the connection between you and I. You begin to question me, asking me how I felt about the girl. I hated to see her punished and afraid. I worry that she doesn't understand. She seems so fragile, I fear for her. I know the pain she is to endure and I would take it for her if I could. You smile, knowing everything I am thinking. You are right, me taking her pain would not help her to become a better slave. It would not help any of us. It is not what you brought me here for. SURELY you know me well enough to know that is EXACTLY what I would feel. Of course I would ache for her, she is innocent. Of course I would step between her and the lash if I could. Of course I wish to comfort her, and yes, you even know me well enough to know that I would find her soft and lovely and inviting.
I see the whip in your hand. My green eyes flash fire for just a moment, and I pray that you did not see that. There is still, will always be that instinct in me to fight back. To take the whip from your hands. But you have trained me well Sir, and I lower my eyes. I will admit to everything you accuse me of, I am guilty. I feel terrible about my emotions, and not just the ones about Teresa. If only you knew about my jealousy. It smoulders inside me and I despise it. It makes me feel weak and dirty in your presence. You speak again, about my emotions, and then you recognise in me...that very emotion I have tried so hard to hide. You ask me if I am jealous. My face burns with shame. How can you know me as you do?? I keep my eyes to the ground as if that would keep you from seeing the truth, but you already saw all you needed to see in me. You instruct me that I am to be whipped. I am to turn with each lash, so that my body will be covered. I swallow hard, my stomach turning at the thought. There comes that doubt again, that perhaps I cannot take what you will give.
I put my hands behind my head, raising up my long red hair. I breathe in, and out... hearing my heart beat, and close my lowered eyes. The flames come now. I am burning at the stake. My God has it ever been this bad?
Each stroke starts a new fire and I hear nothing but my own screams. I had thought to focus at first, to try and keep my senses. There is no room for that now, only the pain. You and I are connected by your whip. It reaches out and burns me, cleanses me... kisses me. Your hand could do no better job. There is no solace, no stop for breath, and we go on and on you and I...
Don't we? I am on my knees now and the whip continues its exploration of my body. Would there be any place you wouldn't touch, or haven't? I attempt to stand again, I need more from you. Please. The kisses become blows.... striking like hot iron again and again. I am on my knees once more, and not sure I can stand. You tell me to stay down, but stumble to my feet. My body has let go, but my mind still challenges you. Why must I continue, why must I get up once more??
Almost to my feet, I tell you that I need more, that I want you to give me more. Cleanse me of these unslave-like thoughts... wash me clean with your whip, as only you can do. I am on my back in the sand. My body screams it is so tired. I am ancient, and the pain leaves no part of my body untouched. The sand is warm and I could crawl into it, and sl**p for a million years, but you are still above me.
Do you know what it is I need? Do you know why I am here? Your leather boot spreads my legs and the whip continues to make love to me. And finally, appropriately..... a lash across my breasts, and another from top to bottom, like a cross. Am I to be a sacrifice to you? I am willing.
If there was more, I do not remember. I surrendered to you long ago. You had my body early on, but my mind took more time. I had to be reminded, and so I was. And so I was.... I am dreaming that I'm floating.... and the water relaxes and soothes my burning body. The flames you ignited burn still, and the water offers only a small respite. Your hands are on me now, no whip. I could die here, in this pain and passion, and be complete. You are rubbing oil on my back, so tenderly. Once again I am awed at the softness with which the hands that whipped me can soothe. I cannot hold my head up, perhaps I have gone too far this time. Perhaps we have.
The Man - Is it possible people can communicate without words, through this bizarre and beautiful passion being build up? I lift you from the tub and carry you to the bed without drying your body and lay you down on your back. Your eyes are closed, your lips are trembling a little, but your breathing is slow and deep. Totally at ease, deep, deep in subspace, hardly noticing what is happening around you. I move your hands to the top of the bed and cuffs them. Then I spread your legs and cuffs them to the corners of the bed, pulling the chains, stretching your body. You moan and arch your back, moving your hips up.
Not yet A. Not yet. You will be left here, stretched and burning. I will not take away the pain form you. Not yet. You will burn for me. Burn for yourself. Burn for David. The fire will release you."
With these words I leave you. My number two is waiting for me in the shower, knowing what I need now. She washes me without speaking a word. Rubs my shoulders and neck and brings me back to reality again. Helps me focus my mind and rubs strength and energy back into me.
It has been many hours ago I left the living room. In your mind it has been many, many more. Sweat is streaming down your body and you are trembling and slightly swinging, trying to keep your balance and fighting the fatigue. I take a away the saucer and coins and wrap my arm around you.
You try to walk, you hardly can, too stiff, too much strain on your muscles. Half carrying, half leading you I bring you to your own room. To your surprise the bath is already filled and hot. The warm water is a blessing.
"Close your eyes." You feel my hands washing you, taking care of you, relaxing you. Then drying you, laying you on the bed and massaging your body until the strain is out and your muscles are relaxed.
You do not see the other lady at the dinner table. You are puzzled but do not dare to ask. Your body doesn't need anymore punishment today. Dinner - light music in the background - is eaten in silence before I bring you to my chair, the same one I sat in this morning and make a gesture - urging you to sit down in front of me. You sink to your knees but once again you have miscalculated. I want you to sit down, pour you strong, hot and sweet coffee. You are puzzled by these constant changes in attitude, as if the rules constantly change. Then you figure out nobody has been talking about rules, well, not many anyway.
"Now tell me Teresa. What did you prove today."
You blush. "That ... that I can do this."
"Is that so? Was it a test?"
"Of course it was," you are seriously pissed of now, hating these question and answer games. "You wanted to see if I would stay. Well I did, didn't I. I can do that."
I smile. "What do you think the little rope around your ankle is for."
You look at me, half in anger, half puzzled again. "What has that got to do with it?"
"Everything." I pour us another cup of coffee. "Now relax and let me explain something. Cuffs, ropes, gates whatever aren't there to keep you prisoner. A prisoner is someone held against his or her will. You are not. This is where you want to be. It has been your choice. It is what you want out of life. Which means that you'll have to learn to accept the consequences, no matter how difficult. Cuffs and ropes are there to help you. To support you, remind you and sometimes to fight against, help you cope with aggression, confrontation and frustration. Today wasn't a test. It was a bondage, only a mental one. No real ropes and cuffs, just an order. Plus a temptation to make the order more difficult. To test you, as well as to test my own abilities yes .... but no to test your endurance." You look at me, amazed.
"What you have proven since you came here is that you can try and resist. You are not here to prove anything. Certainly not resistance. This is not about winning and losing. This is about growing and exploring together. Here you will learn. Now open your mind. Try and forget what you may have learned, seen or whatever and start again."
Suddenly you are close to tears. I take your head in my hands and hold you, gently touching you, comforting you.
"That is what this little rope is about. It is a symbol. A symbol telling you that you need to learn. A reminder that you can be tied down but do not have to be." I let the words sink in for a while. "The woman you have met is not just somebody and she is here for a very special purpose. Like you she came to me on request of her Master - who by the way shares his first name with yours - many moons ago. She and I went through hell together in her quest for her true self. After that, she returned to the man she loves. Apart from my own partner I have never gone that deep with someone. She has become a part of me, just as I have become a part of her. She is here on my request, to help you find yourself as well. And today she has gone through an immense ordeal yet again to enable her to do so. That is why she is not here now. She couldn't. Her body needs time to recuperate and she needs time to let this sink in and free her mind for you."
Your shoulders start to shake. I pull you on your knees and lay your head on my lap. The tears start to flow, uncontrollably and seemingly endlessly as your emotions come out.
"Punish me, please," you sob.
"Punish you? For what? For not understanding something you haven't been taught yet? In the house nobody is punished, unless there is a very good reason to do so and then the punishment will be a true punishment. Still, even then there will be a lesson to learn, which is much more valuable. No, I won't punish you. But I will do something else."
I lift you and bring you to your room, lay you on your back on the bed. A silk blindfold covers your eyes and you are gagged. Then you feel fur-covered soft but yet very effective cuffs strapped around your wrists and ankles and you are spread-eagled. I cover your body and kiss your forehead.
"Now crawl inside yourself. Feel, explore. Don't rationalise, just let the emotions flow through, whatever they are. There is nothing else you can do anyway. I'll see you again in the morning."
Teresa - I watch You as you come back into the room. My mind is racing with a thousand different emotions, pain, anger and frustration lead the list. I do not say a word as you gently remove the saucer from my head and the coins from between my fingers before wrapping your arm around me and leading me back to my room. You have drawn a bath for me and I wearily sink into it and my eyes close of their own volition as I hear you command me gently to close them. I feel your hands upon me, washing away my weariness and pain.
After you have bathed me you put me on the bed and tenderly massage away my fatigue and pain.
That night at dinner the lovely lady I saw earlier is no where to be found and I puzzle over that for a moment but I say nothing not wishing to poke holes in this momentary serenity. We eat in peaceful silence and when the meal is over you draw me to your chair and I sink to my knees but you do not want that.. you want me to sit and you push me gently to the floor and hand me a cup of coffee. This all seems so strange to me but I am to curious to question you. And then it begins..
You begin asking me questions, demanding answers from my already strained mind and as usual and maybe as you expect my temper soars. You ask me what I proved today and I glare at you as I tell you, my head coming up defensively, that I proved I can survive your damned tests. You look at me a moment and ask me if I really thought it was a test and I yell at you, "Of course it was!" You just smile at me as if I am an indulgent c***d and then continue.
You make me realise that I am not a prisoner here but that I am here because it is what I want deep in my heart. You tell me that today was not about testing my endurance, it was a learning experience for both of us. My mind rebels against these thoughts but my heart knows you speak the truth. Suddenly I feel as if my heart is about to break and I look at you helplessly with tears and confusion shining in my bright blue eyes. You gently cup my head in your hands and caress me as you speak softly to me about the woman I met earlier. You tell me of why she is here and how she can help me if I give her the chance. You also tell me of the ordeal she went through earlier this day in order to help me and I feel myself begin to break as I think that this woman, a stranger to me would go through pain in order to help bring about my awakening. I lay my head in your lap and sob as pain for myself as well as this lovely lady envelopes me. "Punish me!" I beg you in a hoarse voice.
You shake your head and tell me no, you won’t punish me and then you take me in your arms and carry back to my room where you lay me on my bed and cuff me to it with fur lined cuffs as well as blindfold me with a silken blindfold. I stop crying and wonder again at your gentleness towards me but before I can put voice to my thoughts you gag me and then kiss my forehead before moving away.
You move to the gate and turn back to look at me and say softly, "Now lay here and let all your emotions come to you and overflow within you. Explore them. Feel them. And do take your time, as you will be here this way until I come for you in the morning." And then the faint sound of the lock clicking into place was the only sign I had that you were gone.
I lay there on my bed in my quiet cell. My tears slipped past the edging of the blindfold and trailed down my face. I felt such guilt and anger all rolled together. I cried for the suffering that sweet stranger and gone through for me. I cried for myself. I felt as if I had not won anything at all by standing there with that saucer on my head. I felt I had lost a part of myself. Part of my pride or maybe in fact it was some of my stubbornness and perhaps my control that I had always prided myself on that I had lost. I do not know how long I wept in my silent cell. No one came to the gate as I am sure you told them all to stay away. I was left here with my thoughts and they bombarded me throughout the night until at last I had nothing left inside me. All the anger and resentment was washed away with my tears. I realised I had a purpose here and I knew what I had to do to reach that purpose that goal. I knew it would be hard but I also knew I would not give up. I could not if I wished to find who I was meant to be. I stared sl**pily at the blackness the blindfold allowed me to see and as my eyes began to drift shut I realised that I no longer was afraid. I felt safe. And then I knew no more.
To be continued….