wow omegle delirium....... whatever fits everyone



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Question to discuss:
How many penises does your ideal mate own?

You: ????
Stranger: um...
You: i cant really get that
You: i ll say 20
Stranger: too little
Stranger: 50
You: i am raising my bid to 70
Stranger: 90
You: 100
Stranger: 150
You: oh i cant beat that u win
You: 150 1
You: 150 2
You: 150 3
You: the ideal mate goes to stranger 2
Stranger: yaay
Stranger: *feels proud*
Stranger: in your face sucker I won
You: fuck
You: i lost
Stranger: now what will I do with a person with 150 penises...
You: make him a carnival attraction
Stranger: because quite honestly, I can't see why I need a person with so many
Stranger: yeah that works
Stranger: I can make money out of him
You: or sell him to old ladies that like orgies
Stranger: I'll put him in a cage in the middle of a carnival and take 20$ from anyone who comes close to it
Stranger: that works too...
You: u can do both
Stranger: yup
Stranger: and I'll make millions
Stranger: you can get a share too..
Stranger: for the ideas
You: i want 25%
Stranger: deal
You: woohhoo
Stranger: we shall now make business
You: first we ll tour japan
Stranger: omg yes
You: selling him out as a fukusima abomination
Stranger: :D
You: japanese are wierd
Stranger: if you keep up like this... you get 25% and free sammiches :D
You: i like sammiches
Stranger: everybody likes sammiches
You: can i have ice creams too?
Stranger: yes. yes you can.
Stranger: mint ice cream
Stranger: whole buckets of it
You: i dont like mint
You: i prefer vanilla
Stranger: well crap..
Stranger: okay then vanilla
You: woohho
Stranger: are you happy now, sir or madam?
You: i am a sir
You: and i am happy
Stranger: I am very glad to hear that, sir.
You: are u sir/madam?
Stranger: madam
You: are u happy?
Stranger: I am
You: then we sorted the happiness matter out
Stranger: we did indeed
Stranger: and may I ask you, kind sir, how old are you?
You: 20
You: u?
Stranger: 16 ._.
You: yes
You: u are 16 and u have no ownage rights on 150 penises mate
You: i will appeal against ur contract
You: and have him all mine
Stranger: firstly, that's mean I thought you were my business partner
Stranger: and second, why would a 20 year old MALE need someone who has 150 penises?
You: dont get sentimental on me
You: to get money off of him
Stranger: that's what you'd say
Stranger: I know you're not telling the whole truth
You: what's the whole truth then?
Stranger: I am now deeply hurt because I just lost my business
Stranger: I don't know, I just know that you are keeping something a secret
You: say it then
You: what do u think i m hiding?
Stranger: hm...
Stranger: you might have some creepy, twisted plans involving the dude with 150 penises
You: like conquer the world?
Stranger: is that it?
You: dunno
Stranger: maybe walking into Mordor and using him against Sauron
You: no i m a bad guy remember?
Stranger: then you can rule Mordor and be twice as bad as Sauron
You: how about sieging minas tirith with him
You: ye
You: that's more of a plan
You: thank u
Stranger: you can make a new ring
Stranger: similar to the previous one.. only even more powerful
You: my initial plan was conquering all ice cream trunks and becoming the boss of ice creams businesses
Stranger: that's not a bad plan..
Stranger: but would you prefer being the boss of ice cream businesses or being the master of Mordor
Stranger: and having slaves and stuff doing your job
You: mmm
You: thats a difficult choice
Stranger: think about the orcs!
You: oh
You: yes
You: but what i was thinking
You: is how can i use him against humanity
You: they ll try to stop me
Stranger: they won't be able to do it
You: yes but think about activists complaining about 150penises man rights
You: oprah will be back in business too
Stranger: your orcs can make them all shut up
You: ye but what if one of the orcs work for cia kgb or al kaida
You: works*
Stranger: it won't happen
Stranger: you will be their only master
Stranger: and they shall obey you
You: muhahahaha
Stranger: so unless you tell someone, orc, join al kaida
Stranger: it shall not happen
You: ye that's pretty
You: right
Stranger: you should also get some dragons. you can then use them to go wherever you want
You: but goblins are quite mischivious bastards
Stranger: because isn't it much cooler to go somewhere with a dragon instead or by car, train, bus, bike etc.?
Stranger: that is true..
You: yes it certainly is
Stranger: I have dragons
Stranger: a lot of them
Stranger: even though you ruined our business and stole my guy
Stranger: I am willing to give you 5 eggs
Stranger: just don't fus ro dah at them, they're fragile
You: ye
You: too fragile
You: i mean they are supossed to be dragons
You: u cant just shout at them and kill em
You: only women (mothers)are good at shouting
Stranger: not true... I never shout at anyone. Maybe I haven't yet developed my skills
Stranger: I shall find a master to teach me
You: yes
You: u have to become a mother first
Stranger: maybe that's it..
You: now that i thought of it i am a bad guy shouldnt i be riding a nazgul
You: ?
Stranger: no you aren't
You: why i want to be a bad guy
Stranger: okay you are then
You: to replenish the fame of voldenmort and sauron and the predator and all unfamous guys in books and films
Stranger: unfamous?
You: infamous
You: *
Stranger: yeah I get it but.. how is Sauron infamous?
You: he is bad
Stranger: bad is not always infamous
Stranger: take Darth Vader for example
Stranger: such a cool dude...
You: ye i forgot him
Stranger: I kind of wish he told me he was my father.. I wouldn't scream NOOOO I would be happy about it
You: me too
Stranger: because if you told someone you're their father and they screamed NOOO in your face, wouldn't that hurt you?
You: that skywaker guy is a bitch
You: no one thinks of darth's feelings
Stranger: plus, imagine going to work and some guy starts bragging about getting a new mac book
Stranger: and you tell him hey b*o, Vader is my father!
Stranger: who's cool now?
You: hahahah
You: the guy with the new i pad?
Stranger: obviously no
Stranger: and imagine if you were still at school and some teacher bitches at you and asks to meet your parents
Stranger: and the next day Vader comes to school to meet her
You: and he ll be pissed off
Stranger: that bitch will never again say anything bad to you
Stranger: pissed off at her.. not at you
You: yes
Stranger: and he'd then buy you ice cream
You: that what i was about to tell
Stranger: a big box of vanilla ice cream only for you
You: u ll get free ice creams
Stranger: of course
You: wohhooo
Stranger: and you can then watch star wars together
You: and think of what would happen to school bullies
Stranger: and when you see the scene where he tells Luke he's his father and Luke acts like a complete bitch
You: no one will dare to touch u anymore
Stranger: you two would be laughing about it
Stranger: because Luke is missing so much
You: ye
Stranger: and you'll both know that he'll a fool for doing so
You: and i ll get the whole universe as my heritage
Stranger: He'll regret it, sooner or later
You: luke gets nothing
Stranger: but it will be too late
Stranger: of course
Stranger: you get R2D2 as your pet if you wish
You: does he make ice cream?
Stranger: if you want him to, he will
You: luke and u get nothing i get the whole universe darth as my father and 150 penises man wohooo
Stranger: he will also clean your room, make pizza, do homework or other annoying jobs you don't like to do
Stranger: not quite
You: why?
Stranger: I'm Vader's long lost s****r
You: nooooooooooooooooooooooo
Stranger: u mad?
You: but i no bother
You: we live in a chauvinistic world
Stranger: and I'm also a nazgul
Stranger: because nazguls are cool
You: ye but their head are torn off to easy
You: heads*
Stranger: doesn't matter
Stranger: now a little bit aside from our topic here... if you didn't know I was a female, would you think I was a guy? :D
You: dunno
Stranger: very random question but sometimes people who don't know I'm a girl assume that I'm a guy
You: maybe yes
You: i still have my doubts that u are a fem
Stranger: because I like to talk about games and movies that mostly guys like
You: no not that
You: because this is omegle
You: the only chance to meet a girl is when a guy pretends to be one
Stranger: oh that.. about only guys being on omegle
Stranger: well I just recently started going on omegle mostly when I'm bored
Stranger: because of the trolls... they entertain me somehow
You: ye me too
You: do u use vido section too?
Stranger: no
You: some hilarious moments there
Stranger: maybe I would sometime
Stranger: but.. girls do go on omegle
Stranger: some of my friends do
Stranger: when they're bored like me
Stranger: or at least used to
You: ye the rate is 1 for every 150 penises
Stranger: :D
Stranger: well we have our 150 penis guy here and there's me
Stranger: and then another 150 penises... and another girl
Stranger: and so on
You: yeah we need another one for two girls to join omegle
Stranger: clone him
You: mmmmm
You: my father wont object to that
You: i bet he has a way to do it
Stranger: of course he does
You: well the most hilarious things here on omegle (videos) are girls who dont know what they are searching for
Stranger: ..?
You: there are these girls who usually wear something too revealing
You: and they are always skipping between cams
You: i dont even know what tey are looking for
You: a guy who likes boobs and justin bieber
You: and talking
You: and one direction
You: or a girlfriend who likes all these?
Stranger: ^fail
Stranger: I am ashamed by all the girls being insane about bieber, one direction and all that crap :/
You: they should be ashamed of themselves
Stranger: because when I tell someone I'm a girl they automatically assume that I, like most of the girls, like the same stuff
Stranger: which thankfully isn't true
Stranger: and if I were to show up on omegle video.. I'd show up in a stormtrooper costume...
Stranger: somehow I've always wanted to wear one
You: woohhoo
You: i once met a guy dressed up like spiderman
Stranger: nice
Stranger: I want a stormtrooper costume because aside from cosplay...
Stranger: I also need it to show up at school dressed like that
You: hahah
You: well actually the magic wont last long they ll eventually ask u if u want to see their penises
Stranger: since we have some crappy uniforms and there's this woman on the first floor who checks everybody for uniform, I want to see the look on her face when I show up like that
Stranger: really? are all of them like that? -.-
You: not all of them
You: but as soon as they realise u are a woman
You: that's the first question they ll ask
Stranger: do they even give a shit if you say no?
Stranger: or does yes mean yes and no mean yes?
You: if u say no they just leave
Stranger: well... not that bad
Stranger: I'd have my fun for a bit before they ask then onto someone else
You: but there are the ones that pose their cocks all along
Stranger: I see...
Stranger: I will not simply walk into omegle video
You: what do u mean?
Stranger: I probably won't be using it...
Stranger: I'm good with chat
You: i can see that
Stranger: but then again, aside from that, it does sound like its interesting
You: ye imagine the surprise of bieber girls
You: they ll be like munch munch munch(chewing gum) ummm what are u wearing?
You: that wasnt in cosmopolitan
Stranger: haha
Stranger: I imagine a stormtrooper costume in cosmopolitan
You: first of all pink
Stranger: and then a few days later, they all show up in them
You: or it will be purple
Stranger: yes, of course some modifications are required
You: to attract emos too
Stranger: when you push something it will start playing a bieber song
You: hahaha
Stranger: depending on which part of the body you push, it plays a different one
You: or one direction and kpop
You: ye
Stranger: until yesterday I had no idea who one direction were...
You: me too
Stranger: until someone on here asked me if I knew who they were and I thought hey, why not listen to one of their songs
You: i show one question here that said what do u think of one direction
You: saw*
Stranger: mine was something about british people and this girl all excited about my love to british accents asked me if I knew who they were
Stranger: I made the mistake to play a song
You: haha
Stranger: or more like.. 15 seconds of it
Stranger: but that was enough for me to realise its not my type of music
You: i v been through this with kpop
You: i copy pasted a kpop link
You: and i quite obviously nearly puked in my mouth
Stranger: never tried listening to kpop so I can't really give any opinion on it
You: u better dont
You: listen to them
Stranger: hm.. I shall not then
You: i thought they were a group but it's actually a music genre
Stranger: oh yes..
Stranger: too many songs
Stranger: and what music do you like, sir?
You: ye nd too many different groups
You: i cant reveal this information
You: its clasified
Stranger: damn..
You: i like hearing to this trnvestite gaga though
You: k**ding
You: i hate her
Stranger: :D
You: do u think she is really a woman?
Stranger: so do I... I can't see why people like her
Stranger: not really
You: i think she is a trans
Stranger: it is likely
Stranger: I can't get some people..
Stranger: the other day, I saw a photo of some girl in one of my classmates' reports and asked her who she was
Stranger: she looked at me shocked and in an even more shocked way asked me
Stranger: how the hell do you not know who Jessie J is?!?!?!
You: who is she?
Stranger: apparently some crappy singer
Stranger: she played a song to me
You: oh yes the one that looks like katy pperry
You: i always mix them up
Stranger: then I was listening to Jimi Hendrix, minding my own business when she shows up and asks me
Stranger: what are you listening to?
Stranger: Jimi Hendrix
Stranger: she:..... who? who's that?
You: hahaahahah
Stranger: me: *grabs axe*
Stranger: Totally worth it meme here.
You: i ve been through that with hendrix
You: actually we were at class
You: actually
You: i cant say it this so u can understand
You: i am from greece and here in greece along with school we go to a tutoring school
Stranger: you are my neighbour then :D
You: were are u from?
Stranger: Bulgaria
You: haha
You: do u have the same routine there?
Stranger: no
Stranger: oh I'll brb I'll just go grab some water
You: ok
Stranger: I am back
You: so i was telling u
You: i was in a class at this tutoring school
You: we were about 6 k**s
You: and one section of our book had an image from jimmy hendrix's album
You: and our teacher who was pretty cool and a big fan commented on that
You: to see the questioning faces of 4 girls
You: one of them said: what did u say?
You: jimmy hendrix the teacher replied
You: and all three of them said together: who is he?
Stranger: wait, 3 or 4 because you said they were 4 now 3 :D
You: and one of them was so gulible and we were always (me the teacher and some other guy made up stories to mock her)
You: yes 2 guys 4 girls
You: yes my bad
You: so i stepped right in
You: and told her
You: : actually he is not a person he is a shampoo brand
You: more like a subproduct of head and shoulders the other guy commented
Stranger: lol
You: yes u can see the resemblance i continued
You: hendrix headnshoulders (she thought it was one word)
You: until now i think she believes it's a shampoo brand
Stranger: stupidity level:its over 9000
You: yes
You: she also believed in fairies and ghosts
Stranger: also, ultimate facepalm
You: but she was quite funny
Stranger: oh I had a girl in my class who believed in mermaids
You: haha
Stranger: she had found some obviously fake picture on the internet
You: hahah
Stranger: of some ugly creature that was said to be a mermaid
Stranger: and one day I want to her house because I was supposed to help her study
Stranger: and for an hour or two she was talking to me about how mermaids existed
You: hahaha
Stranger: mermaids exist, therefore unicors exist, I'm alive and so are unicorns, therefore I'm a unicorn.
You: the corresponding things for males that is a new trend (here in Greece it certinly is)
You: is guys that believe in revelation images
You: due to a photoshop that showed the white rider in libya
You: so they think the revelation is coming
Stranger: interesting..
Stranger: I want a zombie apocalypse
You: that was last year
You: they also believe that they are spraying brain control substances on us
You: with airplanes
Stranger: *are you fucking k**ding me meme*
Stranger: this is why we need a zombie apocalypse
You: they re messing with are minds i tell ya
Stranger: the zombies will eat all the brains of the stupid people
Stranger: and we'll all be zombies
Stranger: and be happier
You: they are no match for 150s penises man
Stranger: true...
You: actually do u know nicky minaj
You: ?
Stranger: oh the pink haired bitch?
You: ye
You: makes u wanna order the 150 penises man to fuck her with all 150 cocks
Stranger: do it.
Stranger: she'll die
You: i will and she ll love it
Stranger: of course she will
Stranger: until her final breath..
You: muaahhahah
You: jb and gaga will want to join in
Stranger: of course jb will want to join in...
Stranger: and gaga will be last
Stranger: but we are sending away 3 *ehm* perfect *cough* souls from this world, therefore we need some sort of repayment
Stranger: maybe we can get 3 people back from the dead
You: ye
You: 2,5
You: bieber is still 10
Stranger: Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix and Freddie Mercury will come back
You: actually i dont like cobain
Stranger: I do
Stranger: I have a classmate who looks like him
Stranger: *me gusta*
You: hahaha
You: i love the other's too music but actually cobain and hendrix and morrison new the risks
You: two*
Stranger: true but I love all 3 of them
You: we can bring someone back that left accidentally
Stranger: and I actually find Cobain rather hot :D
You: well maybe that's why i dont respect him so much i am a guy
Stranger: maybe that's it
Stranger: I'd die to go on a Nirvana or Hendrix concert
Stranger: we need them back
You: some guys literaly died in a hendrix's concert
Stranger: actually if I go to hell, I'd probably meet them there so I can see their concert in hell
You: ye
You: that's a good reason to get bad karma
Stranger: eh.. with guys like them there, hell probably won't be that bad
You: yes
You: all others will be stuck with john lennon and flanders
You: and michael
Stranger: oh we also need John Lennon back
You: ye the only one that didnt knew the risks
You: all others died from overdose
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: but they are still awesome and need to come back
You: yes
You: but i think they ll waste their second chance too
Stranger: highly possible
You: u cant be both talented and smart
You: its math
Stranger: well... you can. its more like some people are talented, become successful and forget to think about what they do to themselves
Stranger: all the success consumes them and they become fools
Stranger: but not stupid...
You: yes a cunning man would be careful enough not to be consumed
You: no not stupid
You: just not a genious
You: i mean above the average
Stranger: I understand
You: u see if the chance for someone to be quite talented is 0.01
You: and the chance that he is a jenious is 0.01
You: the chance to be a talented genious is 0.0001
Stranger: there's still a chance though
You: yeee
You: haahah
You: a small chance
Stranger: aaand I lack any talent x.x
You: me too
You: but i am quite stupid too
Stranger: maybe I'm a genius and don't know it yet
Stranger: I might cure cancer
You: or maybe we are beautiful also 0.01
Stranger: I'm fabulous
You: me too
Stranger: because I'm an unicorn.
You: i cant stop loving me
You: unicorns are overrated
Stranger: I can't just not love me. Impossibru!
You: narcissus did that
Stranger: no. I'm a zombie unicorn actually.
You: oh
You: is unicorn the match of a rhino with a horse?
Stranger: unicorn is a cross between star dust and rainbows :D
Stranger: *ultra gaaaaaay*
You: oo
You: i am hearing my testosterone wearing away from what u said
Stranger: maybe they should try crossing a rhino and a horse. then we might actually get real unicorns
Stranger: haha :D
You: actually we are made of star dust
You: what was left from bing bang
Stranger: wishes and rainbows then?
You: ye
Stranger: but again, *ultra gaaaay*
You: extra ultra gay
You: so that's why a guy asked me if a rainbow has homosexual connotations
Stranger: lol
You: ewwww i just remembered another question about what santorium is
You: and just now i learned what it is
You: 3X ewwwwwwwwwwwww
Stranger: do I want to know?
You: its ultra gay X9000
You: are u ready to be disgusted?
Stranger: yes..
You: well its a gay porn term used to describe the remaints of oil (lubricant) and shit (yes yes real shit) that is left on the penis of the guys who was on top "if u know what i mean"
Stranger: I am disgusted. Very.
You: remains*
You: ultra gay
Stranger: I now want to poke my eyes out
Stranger: so I will never be able to see or read anything again
You: i wanna use that shit men in black used
Stranger: thus keep the safe parts of my psyche undamaged
Stranger: oh this reminds me of massive attack's psyche
Stranger: its been a while since I last heard it
You: which was?
Stranger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8yaVSLJVLA
Stranger: this
You: what's that?
Stranger: a song
You: who are they?
Stranger: don't you know massive attack?
You: yes
Stranger: a band from the UK
You: i only have heard of them
Technical error: Lost connection with server. Sorry. :( Omegle understands if you hate it now, but Omegle still loves you.


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Categories: Sex Humor
Posted by virgin20yearold
2 years ago    Views: 264
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