teg's Blog
Top ten uses of the F~~~ WORD & MORE

History's top 10 times for appropriate use of the F-word

10th - "sc attered fuking showers, my arse!" - Noah, 4314 BC
9th - "How the fuk did you work that out?" - Pythagoras, 126 BC
8th - "You want WHAT on the fuking ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1566
7th - "Where did all those fuking Indians come from?" - Custer, 1877
6th - "It does so fuking look like her!" - Picasso, 1926
5th - "Where the fuk are we?" - Amelia Earhart, 1937
4th - "Any fuking idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938
3rd - "What the fuk was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima , 1945
2nd - "I need this parade like I need a fuking hole in the head!" - JFK, 1963
And ...
drum roll ...,,,,,..
The number 1 most appropriate time for using the "F" word ....
"Aw c'mon. Who the f*** is going to find out?" - Tiger Woods, 2009




SEXIST

How many men does it take to open a beer?
---None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
---Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
---It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand > closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
---When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

How do you fix a woman's watch? >
---You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men break wind more than women?
---Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at > the front door, who do you let in first?
---The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
---A woman who won't do what she's told.

I married Miss Right.
---I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
---It's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
---They want to.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested.
---Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.



Posted by teg 4 years ago
Comments (43)
Reply for:
Reply text
Please login or register to post comments.
1 year ago
Haha. Good shit only gets better with age. ,
1 year ago
Fucking genius! Made me smile this day...
1 year ago
lol this is great i like your taste for humor
2 years ago
Fuck!
LMFAO!
2 years ago
lol loved it.
2 years ago
WOW!!! That's some funny shit. I was ROTFLMFAO. You really are a 2 for 1 special: Asian descent & funny. What more can a man ask for in a woman. Don't you ever change. The world needs more people like you. Have a great day.
2 years ago
you are funny XD
2 years ago
LOL
2 years ago
soss bud i have to disagree thought this blog is absolute dynamite.lmfao, tiger is never number 1

for me its between these two great quotes

"Where did all those fuking Indians come from?" - Custer, 1877

"I need this parade like I need a fuking hole in the head!" - JFK, 1963

any order you want :).........quality
2 years ago
PMSL
2 years ago
Hahahaha, I'll copy this and send to my friends out there, that is, if you don't mind.
Hilarious.
3 years ago
Haha!!!!!!! Abolutely fucking fabufantastic!:)
3 years ago
Very funny my husband really enjoyed he says "great stuff". I took off my status after your comment, it is hard to think of shit sometimes.
3 years ago
Love is marriage.
Love is an institution.
Love is blind.

Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.
Jiver
retired
3 years ago
You are certainly not as daft as you sometimes portray TEG.

Eight out of Ten.
3 years ago
Rachel is funny :)
venicegirl
retired
3 years ago
Love it!!! I really needed to laugh like this. Yes, I'm a liberated chick and can take a joke. Again, love it!!!
NoTalentQ...
retired
3 years ago
didnt really get the Amelia Earhart one but i liked all the sexist jokes but ud b scared if our feet were ;arger than urs no?
3 years ago
lol funny
3 years ago
These just made my day 75.6% better.
karcher87
retired
3 years ago
LMFAO, thanks, i laughed too :)
3 years ago
LMFAO
This blog never fails to Make Me laugh ;))
3 years ago
FUNNEH! Thanks for posting this.
3 years ago
Teg, this really needs to be on the Letterman show. Good stuff my friend. How about this one. "They elected a f***ing black dude as President?"--2008.

Take care.
3 years ago
GOOD SHIT!BUT MY FAVORITE IS,
HEY THAT'S THE WRONG FUCKING HOLE-MOLLY LAST NITE
3 years ago
You foregot Murphy and his law
if anything can go fucking wrong it will
tonywall
retired
4 years ago
lmfao
4 years ago
"What the f*** is all this white shit?" all the sperm expended on napkins, kleenex and towels.
4 years ago
Hillary to Bill. Where the fuck is my cigars?
4 years ago
Where is all this F***ing water coming from ?
Captain of the Titanic 1912