I was just reading 15 reasons why nice guys finish last all the time in an desperate effort to understand myself. Now I'm just a bit depressed. Below is the main points from it, and as usual some of my thoughts. Thinking about it I suspect that this is all going to end up making me slightly more miserable.
"Nice guys make great friends, but terrible lovers. Every time a girl meets a nice guy, he usually ends up falling straight into her friend zone."
No, not the friend zone! It's okay I'm comfortable here I'm used to it. I think I've lived in many friend zones over the years. It's rent free as well. Just cost where it counts I suppose. Oh god that was pitiful.
"After all, a guy who likes a girl will try to flirt with her or tease her, not just ask her if it’s okay to carry her grocery bags or wash her car for her."
Maybe I'm not such a nice guy after all. I'll tease and flirt for all I;m worth. I'm told I'm really quite good at it. But then who am I to judge?
1. Self respect. Nice guys don’t respect themselves. They don’t mind making fun of themselves or putting themselves down all the time.
Oh No, I love making fun of myself. I just never realised it was because I had no respect for myself. The problem is I can't really argue with this. How can I when this was really about finding more about myself.
2. Too agreeable. Nice guys are too sweet to voice their real opinions and end up frustrating themselves.
I am almost permanently frustrated. I'm not convinced that's quite the same thing though. Least said, soonest mended eh?
3. Too needy and insecure. Nice guys start off as sweet and caring, but end up becoming too needy and insecure in a relationship because they’re always threatened by every other guy who talks to their girlfriend.
Ah, perhaps I have more self confidence than I thought. I, stangely, have never really felt threatened by any other guy who talks to my girlfriends. Maybe that's my over-confidence then. My ex-wife left me. My live-in f****y of 6 years left me. Both to other men. Hmmmmmmmm. Oh bugger.
4. They’re boring. The nice guys are never very fun because they don’t like crossing the line into the naughty side no matter what.
Oh damn, you got me. I'm so boring. I didn't think I was. I'm sure I probably am though.
5. A nice guy isn’t an alpha male. A great girl always wants to date a guy who can be in control of his life and gain the respect of his friends.
True. A nice guy can only be an alpha male in his own head. On the other hand if he only appears to be a nice guy then he's an alpha male without anyone knowing. Which am I though. I suspect the former.
6. Manipulated. Nice guys are easily manipulated because they allow themselves to get manipulated even if they realize that they’re being manipulated.
I am merely a puppet for everyone elses desires clearly.
7. Avoid confrontations. Nice guys can’t defend the girl they like and try to resolve any issues by trying to even the situation using polite words.
There are good things to be said for having a smart mouth and a clever tongue. I may have slipped off topic briefly.
8. Nice guys are weak. They plot revenge secretly, but can’t man up and take a stand even if they know they’re right. This makes them appear weak.
Revenge is a dish best served cold! I'm not sure that it's true though. From reading of old supposedly my star sign suggests that I plot revenge in secret and will act upon it when everything is forgotten. Perhaps there's no escaping destiny.
9. They want miracles. Nice guys constantly look to the future for a better life, be it by earning more money or getting a great job, but do nothing to change the present even though they know they need to change their behavior.
This is true of me I'm sure. I've always wanted a better life and have been willing to wait to get it. Just as I start to get somewhere I have to start again. I know I need to speed things up and never seem to get around to it.
10 Offence. No one takes a nice guy seriously because he never wants to offend anyone.
I did wonder why I get laughed at so much when I've just been flat our rude. Being rude with a smile and clever words can't be seens as offensive after all.
11. Nice guys get stressed by difficult situations. A girl would want to date a guy who’s her rock and her strength, not a scared pussy who’ll run at the first sign of danger.
Aha, now I have you spiteful article. With my job being what it is I am built for to not stress. I work in difficult situations daily and have to shrug them off and get on with it. I am proud to say that I stand and sort things out rather than run.
12. Nice guys never lead. They always sit in the back seat of life. They may want to lead, but never make the effort or take the initiative directly.
I'm a team player, not a leader. I can't argue with this. But I am a problem solver, it's my nature and my occupation, so maybe this isn't as correct as it seems.
13. Social strength. Nice guys are not socially strong. They’re almost always invisible in a group.
I like being invisible. It makes things more interesting when I become more visible. Reading that back I feel rather stupid.
14. Intimidation. Nice guys are always intimidated by strong personalities.
Yeah, this is maybe true. Then again maybe not. This one really has me stumped. Am I intimidated or not? Do I really care?
15. The dreaded friend zone. Nice guys always end up entering a girl’s friend zone. They’re really nice guys who make great friends and terrible boyfriends.
I'm used to it. The friend zone is a nice place really. I like friends.