slave_ariana's Blog
32 Things not to say during sex

I saw this on FB and wanted to share it with you all, I think its hilarious!

1. But everybody looks funny naked!

2. You woke me up for that?

3. Did I mention the video camera?

4. Do you smell something burning?

5. (in a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead...

6. Try breathing through your nose

7. A little rug burn ever hurt anyone!

8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?

9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?

10. But whipped cream makes me break out

11. Person 1: This is your first time... right? Person 2: Yeah... today

12. (in the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!

13. Can you please pass me the remote control?

14. Do you accept Visa?


16. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.

17. And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!

18. So much for mouth-to-mouth.

19. (using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay?

20. Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...

21. (holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!

22. Do you get any premium movie channels?

23. Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!

24. (preparing to use peanut butter sexually) But I just steam-cleaned this couch!

25. Got any penicillin?

26. But I just brushed my teeth...

27. Smile, you're on Candid Camera!

28. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!

29. I want a baby!

30. So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!

31. (in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?

32. Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...
Posted by slave_ariana 3 years ago
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1 month ago
1 year ago
lol !!! excellent !!
1 year ago
pretty much covers it
2 years ago
kkkkkkkkk..., ADOREI!!! MUITO BOM...,
2 years ago
that is great, very funny
2 years ago
Very funny
2 years ago
I can still remember # 29 from 40 years ago , but glad she was honest about it because I wasn't ready back then
3 years ago
3 years ago
3 years ago
Very intereting and useful!
3 years ago
Haha, very true & ..... funny
3 years ago
Very funny. Even the wife (59yo) will like some of these.
3 years ago
This is great! Always nice to find something that brings a smile and a chuckle. Although I can't admit to hearing many of these I can say that #28 is one you never want to hear!

Thanks for posting this.

Ever thought of opening this for suggestions and making additions? Could be fun.
3 years ago
#13... that isn't necessarily bad. It depends on what the remote control belongs to. ;)
3 years ago
One to add:

MAN: Yes, yes, YESSSSS! Give it to me Renee!

WOMAN: My name is Nancy...
3 years ago
3 years ago
Very good!
3 years ago
LMFAO! Brilliant!
3 years ago
3 years ago
I think #28 is what I dont want to hear
3 years ago
Someone elses name!!
3 years ago
enjoyed it emmensley thank you. lol michael..
3 years ago
u forgot a couple;

is it supposed to burn?

but they both look like the holland tunnel.

what do you mean that little thing is so cute?

no baby, i would never do that.

why did you tie me up and who are all these people?

officer, can i go now?
3 years ago
Nice post !
3 years ago
Did you spy my bedroom?

3 years ago
I love it!! I can think of a few times when some of those were used..;)
Thanks for putting it here.
I hope you don't mind me "borrowing" it.
3 years ago
Those are hilarious. Thanks.
3 years ago
@ Curlie Carly, Oops, that must have been a bit hairy! what happened?
3 years ago
Yup... 28. On a diningroom chair with my father-in-law on the doorbell.
3 years ago
Hilarious Post Indeed. Fav. line "On second thought, let's turn off the lights."