Never mind our ages.
Nicole was quite a few years older than me, which less than pleased my parents who wished I had a friend around my own age.
She was already labeled a bad influence on me. My parents were pretty narrow in their thinking. I rebeled against this in my own way by refusing to be pushed into an identity that was not me.
Nicole really awakened this from me, brought out of the shadows of fantasy, and physicalized it.
In short I accepted who I wanted to be. I am a lesbian.
Nicole was not my first crush on another girl. I've had many since I became aware of my sexuality. Mostly they were teachers who made my heart race whenever they touched me even in the most innocent way. My head swam. Although the concept of sex between two women was still alien to me I still had fantasies of us in bed together naked.
The discovery of masturbation was a milestone in my life and physcalized my fantasies. As I lay in bed rubbing my pussy I dreamed of the woman currently the focus of my fantasies. Sometimes they wre friends whom I dare never expose my feelings to. I'd heard the word dike and knew that it was used in a negative way. So the fear of being outcast was always a weight on my mind during those early years.
My parents grew somewhat concerned that I never dated nor showed any interest in boys at all. I was a tomboy and was neither accepted by many girls or welcome to play with the boys. I didn't really care. I had my own world and I knew when I grew up I'd find my own way and not become another sad wifey conforming to the sufficating suburban standards.
I loved to draw and the female form was usually a favorite subject although I did sketch other things. I got my girlfriend Tess to pose for me. She was a chubby girl and an outsider like me and I had a crush on her. She had a soft, curvy body that I loved to draw. It helped her with her own body image, which she loathed. She was the first girl I overtly flirted with and one night I got her to pose nude for me. My head spun frantic fantasies at this girl reclined naked in front me. I saw myself lunging for her and kissing her over. We were both still in full possession of our virginity. I desperately wanted to rid myself of it and could not see some man on top of me robbing me of that special moment. I wanted it to be a women.
Tess had a kind of body I admired: it was not petite like mine. I told her "jokingly" on numerous occasions when she was bashing her body how much I liked her tits. My own were to say the least underdeveloped---a feature I had inherited from my mother who was also a very flatchested woman as were most of the women in the f****y. I was attracted by big women, but not in a single-minded fetishistic way. The tits had to have a brain. Dumb girls bore me.
Tess and I did mess around, but it was very timid and involved not much more than touching one another's tit and sipping kisses. Not they hurricane of passion I had in my head.
Somewhere, somehow the pices of the puzzle came together in Tess' mind and one day as we sat in my room she asked straight out if I was a lesbian. The question just hit me hard. I knew I was but I never declared it openly to anyone. I looked at her and told her YES, I am a lesbian. It just hung there for a long awkward period of time. I wanted to kiss her but I was unsure what move to make. Then I saw Tess sli[p off the edge of the bed where she was sitting and start to collect her things. I felt my heart sink and she said she thought we shouldn't be friends any more. I was heartbroken but I could not f***e anything onto anyone. This insight came somewhat later in time but at the moment I was a little pissed. All that took place between us before now seemed like a big tease. As she left she promised not to tell anyone about me. She knew how I'd be treated in school. I thanked her in a soft voice that brimmed with sadness and anger.
Nicole was a new neighbor. I smitten at first sight. She was tall and slim with black hair that was cut very close to the scalp. I just hung out on the street until we met. We got to know each other. We ended up at the local baseball field and sat in one of the dugouts. She showed her various tatoo. There was a butterfly on her belly, a tiger on the small of her back, and a pair of wings on each shoulder. She not all timid to show off these tatoo which involved lifting up her shirt to reveal that she wore no bra. She had these perfectly rounf tits and each capped with a dark nipple.
I spied another tatoo on the forearm of her left arm. I overcame my shyness and asked her show me it. She turned her arm over: it was the name BETH. She was Nicole's first girlfriend. There was an expression of sadness on her face so I did not push for any more information.
We walked back home together, talking casually, but as we about to go our seperate ways Nicole turned to me and asked: "Would like to go out on a date some time?" My heart soured and words just refused to come out. All I culd do was nod enthusiastically. She suggested Saturday. Worlessly, I agreed.
TYhe week dragged painly onward. Nicole and I passed one another on daily routines, exchanging a wave. She became the sole object in my masturbatorial fantasies and I gave myself the most lovely orgasms I've ever had. I had to push my face into a pillow just to muffle the moaning.
Saturday at long last arrived and we met at an arranged place. I'd already told her my parents would freak out if they knew I had a "date" with her. I told them I was going to the movies alone as I often did so it was not the least bit suspicious.
I agonized over what to wear for our date and decided on just jeans and t-shirt, deciding not to wear a bra that night. It was the first time I had never wore a bra outside the house.
Nicole was a few minutes late getting to the rendevous point. I already had a vision of her not showing up and leaving there once again heartbroken. When she did arrived I felt like throwing my arms around her. She told me that her parents had gone out for the night and would not to be back till late. We headed back to her home, careful to avoid my own home.
After an awkward beginning we became comfortable, getting more familiar with each other until the pizza we ordered arrived. She opened up more. She told me that she was bisexual up until the age of eighteen and just became more attracted to women. She knew I was gay the first moment we met. This made me blush. I told that I was a virgin and wanted to lose it only to another woman.
We started kissing there on the sofa when the front doorbell interupted us. We had all night long so there was no need to rush. We ate, watched something on television, then headed up to her bedroom.
The rest of the night passed by like a beautiful dream which I replay in my head in slow motion to savor each moment.
We undressed each other. I wanted to commit all details to memory so that I could sketch it later in my secret sketch pad that I kept hidden.
My hands moved slowly over her long slim body, passing down into the thick nest of pubic hair, touching for the very first time a vagina that not my own. The texture was beautiful under my fingertips. She explored my vagina with gentle sensative fingers.
We moved over to the bed and I laid back. Starting from my toes Nicole worked her wat up, her tiny nibbling teeth sent crazy electrical sensations throughout my entire body. I surrendered absolutely. Her fingers pushed open my pussy pedals and suddenly her tongue was flicking wildly around. My body stiffened then softened as I adapted myself to these knew sensations.
She shifted her body around so they we were now in the sixty-nine position and Nicole's pussy was pressed down on my face. I licked her with an initial timidness but that was shortlived and I devoured her, intoxicated by her scent.
Suddenly there was the sharp pain of my cherry being popped. It momentarily eclipsed the pleasure as Nicole worked her finger up inside with as much gentleness as possible. She continued nibbling on my swollen clit until I had reached a very strange orgasm. A few moments later she came too.
I saw the bl**d on the bedsheets and felt very guilty. Nicole assuaged my fear and ushered me into the bathroom. We stepped into the narrow shower stall and kissed each other.
It was a wonderful evening.