A cloudy sky blanketed Malibu; the clouds threatened to break open at any moment. I lay in my Reflection hammock, watching the sky and listened as the waves crashed onto the shore with a dangerous vengeance. My daughter and I never missed Reflection day at the end of each month. It had been hard not to push my beliefs off onto my daughter as I raised her, but I had managed to let her find her own way in life. However, Reflection day is something she and I both agreed on. It's an important day for us because it was a day for us to Reflect upon the important things in our life, upon the mistakes we've made and what we can do to avoid making the same mistakes again. It's a day for us to think about our hopes and dreams, what we want out of life and find a positive way to make them happen. I chose today to Reflect on the circumstances surrounding my daughter's conception and birth, and why her mother isn't here to Reflect with us...
I remember my parents trying to shove their self-righteous religious beliefs down my throat, but I wouldn't have any of that. I had always considered myself to be a laid back person, following no religion, but seeming more spiritual more than anything else. My parents brought out something in me that I didn't life, this intense anger and frustration any time they were around. I started to become an evil person; I did anything I could to make their life a living hell. The last time I saw my parents, my mother laid her hands on me. That was the last straw, so I packed up as much of my stuff as I could and left without looking back. My best friend, Steve, was there for me. His parents took me in with open arms. I could be my true self around them; I wasn't the evil person my parents saw. I easily fell into the extremely laid back routine they lived.
After I had been living there for several months, Paul, Steve's dad, mentioned to us that we should form a band when he heard us strumming our guitars and singing in the backyard. "It's a good way to get the ladies," he had said. We thought about it, and decided it would be a good idea. Steve and I both loved to play our guitars and we were really good at it. We had some friends that played different instruments. The band had barely been together long before the local girls got curious about us. They came around often and sat on the couches we put in the garage, which became our band space. Paul and his wife, Carla, parked their cars in the driveway instead so we could have a place of our own to practice. Paul and his band practiced in the basement of their house. It didn't take long before the band was good enough to play at local venues, and that's when the groupies came to us.
The slutty girls would sit in on our practices, which were often cut short because they wanted to give us head. They were always horny, so when practice was cut short no one complained. There was a girl, often two girls, for every guy in the room. It was a good thing that the garage space was our own because Paul and Carla would have killed me and Steve if they found out we were having sex with all of these girls while they were in the house across the driveway. I could barely remember the names of any of the girls; I didn't care enough to remember their names because I didn't want to have a girlfriend. I had lost my virginity at a young age to no one special. I had sex with all of these girls because it felt good to be wanted. However, there were consequences to our actions we never cared to think about.
We threw a party for my birthday on a private beach that belonged to Paul and Carla. Everyone that attended supplied their own beer and every pocket available had a bag of weed that everyone smoked. The party filled quickly with d***ken people dancing around the bon fire. No one cared that our band played a bad set because we were all high as a kite. While we played, I caught the eyes of a beautiful girl dancing. It was easy to see that she had been drinking, even without noticing the beer can in her hand. The way she moved was mesmerizing. The fire light flickered all over her body, casting interesting shadows over her skin. I knew I needed to talk to this girl so after our last song, I put my guitar back in its case and walked over to her. Her eyes lit up like she recognized me but I had no idea who she was. She squealed my name, "Ian!" Then she threw her arms around my neck, sloshing her beer across my shirtless body. I wrapped my arms around her body and smelled the faint scent of her perfume on her neck. Amongst the smell of beer and weed, I could smell vanilla. "What's your name, beautiful?" I asked her. She grinned at me and said, "I'm Mindy! I've been keeping tabs on your band, the music is so great!" She said enthusiastically.
"Mindy, that's a nice name. Do you want to take a walk with me?" I inquired.
Mindy grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the group of people around the fire. I caught Steve's gaze as we walked away. He grinned at me and gave me double thumbs up. He and I knew what was going to be happening with this beautiful girl. I made sure to grab two fresh cans of ice cold beer out of a cooler as she dragged me away. We were far enough away from the fire that I could block it out with my thumb held at arm's length. The two of us were quiet for a moment while we listened to the faint laughter from the people around the fire. The waves rolled smoothly onto the beach but we were far enough back from the water that we didn't get wet. I looked up at the moon; it was high and bright in the sky. The brightness of the moon made me glance at Mindy. She was swaying her hips to the music that must be in her head while she sipped from her beer can. She noticed my gaze and smiled.
"Do you want to kiss me?" she asked. Her green eyes were large and bright in the light of the moon. I nodded my head and my eyes roamed her sexy body. She was only wearing a pair of shorts over her bikini bottoms and I don't think she came to the party with a shirt. I walked toward Mindy and swept her up in my arms, twirling her part of the way around. As I set her down, our lips met. There was something about Mindy that made me want to keep sweet with her. I kissed her softly and very slowly until we were breathless.
"Wow," she whispered when I pulled away to catch air in my lungs. She touched a few fingers to her lips and smiled. "That was the best kiss I've ever had," she admitted. "Let me doing something for the birthday boy..." Mindy stepped closer to me and looked me in the eyes as she unsnapped the button on my cut-off jean shorts. I was considerably taller than Mindy, so she kissed her way down my tight chest until she reached my hips. She tugged down my shorts, letting them fall into the sand. I wore nothing under them so my hard dick bobbed freely in the cool evening air, sending a chill through my spine.
"Oh, this is very nice," Mindy mused. She winked up at me as she wrapped a hand around the base of my dick. Mindy licked her lips in a seductive manner before swiping the tip of her tongue slowly across the head of my dick, wiping clean the pre-cum that had started to ooze out. I moaned instantly at the contact. I really liked having my dick sucked, and it really didn't take much for me to cum from the simplest manipulation. I was distinctly aware of the pressure of her hand around my thick dick, though average in length. Mindy licked around the head, and then slowly eased it in her mouth. "Yeah, that's nice," I breathed. Encouraged, Mindy inhaled my member deep into her mouth. She gagged easily when it started to bump the back of her throat. Mindy pulled further back and worked it easily in and out of her mouth at a steady pace that worked best for her, while her hand twisted and pumped along the slick skin at the base. She may not be pro, but what she was doing to me still felt great. I held her dark blond hair back from her pretty face and watched my dick disappear into her mouth. She managed to take me further in without gagging as much. I groaned when I hit the back of her throat and slid down momentarily. She looked up at me and held my gaze, putting more effort into bringing forth an orgasm. It was fast approaching, so I held her head in place. She pulled my dick out of her mouth and looked up at me curiously. "I don't want to cum just yet, and I'll definitely cum if you continue that!" I chuckled.
I pulled Mindy up from her kneeling position and kissed her deeply. My hands roamed her body and pulled down her shorts. My teeth grazed her earlobe, tugging it lightly. This caused her to moan, and she moaned even more when I slipped my hand beneath the waist band of her bikini bottoms. I found her pussy smooth, except for a small patch of hair above the slit. I traveled further and found her wet – very wet. I groaned into her ear. With my hand still in her suit, I wrapped my other arm around her and pulled her down on top of me in the sand. I played with her pussy while she straddled me.
Mindy grasped my dick and shifted her bathing suit to the side. I removed my hand and watched as she rubbed the tip of my dick along the wetness of her folds a few times before easing me inside her; I slipped in easily because of how wet she was. We groaned pleasurably as she sunk all the way down the length of me. Mindy instantly took the lead with only a moment to adjust to my girth inside her, then she was rocking her hips slowly up and down. I placed my hands upon her hips to guide her, though she certainly didn't need my help. I moved my hips in perfect sync to Mindy's movement in order to drive deep into her pussy. She was so tight; it felt ridiculous when the walls of her cunt contracted around me. I couldn't stop moaning, this girl was driving me insane. She started to buck her hips faster and harder with the encouragement from my moans. I dug my fingers into the soft flesh of her hips and guided her up and down on my shaft, lifting her and slamming her back down. Her small, perky tits bounced hypnotically before my eyes in the confines of her bikini top.
I shoved one of the triangle patches of Mindy's bikini top up to expose the jiggling flesh and squeezed it in my hand. Mindy groaned and bit her bottom lip when I pinched and twisted the tiny nipple between my thumb and forefinger. "Fuck, I love that. Pinch it harder," she begged. Being the kind man I am, I obliged and manipulated the nub further. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" Mindy's voice became high pitched as she fell forward onto my, resting her elbows in the sand on either side of my body and began to piston her cunt along my shaft. With the quickening of the pace, I groaned and arched my back a little. I wrapped my arms tight around Mindy's small frame and fucked my cock deep into her. I rolled us over so I was on time and started to fuck her harder and faster. Mindy's orgasm came and went, but I was determined to give her at least one more before my own seed spilled over.
"I love how tight your pussy is," I breathed into Mindy's ear.
"I love how your cock stretches my little cunt," she breathed in response.
I reached beneath me as I fucked Mindy to rub her clit. This really got to her, and she begged for a request, "Fuck me from behind!"
I slowed my pace until I completely stilled inside her; I really didn't want to pull out but if that's what Mindy wanted then I was happy to give it to her. Plus, I liked not being able to look at a girl's face when I used her. I wasn't pro at maneuvering a woman's body into position without removing my dick first, so I just pulled out and let her crawl into position. As soon as she was on her knees, I yanked her bikini bottoms down her thighs and shoved my dick back inside the heated channel. My quick thrust shoved Mindy forward, nearly landing her face in the sand. She rested her weight on her forearms with her ass high in the air. I brought myself back to a steady rhythm as I admired the thickness of her ass. It bounced just as hypnotically as I fucked her. She thrust herself back at me with every one of my in-strokes. I had her moaning again, her breathing extremely labored. She began a steady flow of filthy words, which really encouraged me to pound her cunt; it was tighter from this position. It was really paradise, being inside her like this.
I gripped Mindy's fleshy hip and slammed my cock continuously into her. I was nearing my own boiling point when Mindy screamed that she was cumming again. I could feel the assault her pussy juice gave; it coated my cock and really oozed out around it. I picked up my pace, if that was at all possible; my hips were a blur as I jackhammered her abused pussy. I announced that I was going to cum.
"Pull out! Pull out, Ian!" she screamed, but it was too late. I gripped Mindy's hips tighter and slammed one last time into her; I could feel my balls clench as my cum traveled up the length of my dick like lava traveling through a volcano, and exploded with a vengeance inside Mindy. My back was arched and the tips of my fingers were white from gripping Mindy's hips. I loosened my grip and let the feeling come back to my fingers. My cock slowly deflated and I pulled out. I used Mindy's ass as a not-so-stable thing to rest my hand as I tried to get on my feet; I ended up pushing Mindy forward and shove into the sand.
Sputtering, Mindy rolled over onto her back. Her blond hair was disheveled, one breast was exposed and her legs we splayed. I could tell she was shooting daggers at me. I laughed for a moment and extended my hand to help her up. "I'm really sorry," I told her.
Mindy looked up at me with forgiving eyes and brushed the sand from her body and readjusted her bikini pieces, and I handed her shorts. I inspected mine and noticed some spots on them from Mindy's cum. I put them on and dove into the ocean. I came out soaking wet, but no longer covered in sand. Mindy stood on the shore, waiting for me. "You're crazy," she smirked.
"Let's go back to the party and get some more beer," I said.
Mindy and I walked back to the fire and we discovered the numbers grew since we were gone. Steve noticed me walking up and made our arrival known. Mindy blushed. It was obvious what we had been doing. Steve asked me why I was soaking wet. I announced I decided to take a quick dip in the ocean, and everyone found this amusing for reasons unknown to me. I did end up grabbing a couple beers for Mindy and myself, but that was the last time I saw her. I got swept up with hanging out with my friends, I ignored her. I could tell she was clinging to me, but I didn't want a girlfriend so I brushed her off. The next time I looked to see if she was still hanging around, I couldn't find her. I assumed she must have left the party, and I didn't have contact with her again until 2 months later.
Those 2 months later, Mindy called me at Steve's house. She informed me rather gravely that she was pregnant. As I mentioned earlier: consequences. She insisted that it was mine because she didn't have sex again after our encounter. I was inclined to believe because I wanted to believer her. I found out that Mindy and her f****y was Catholic and they condemned abortion as a grave evil. She told me that even if she could abort the growing fetus inside her, she wouldn't. She desperately wanted to know what I thought. She told me it was adoption, unless I wanted to keep the baby. She cried, begging me to keep the baby. I don't know what it was, but something inside me clicked. I had created this life with Mindy, and I couldn't imagine it going to another f****y. I told her I wanted to keep the baby, though I knew I had no idea how I would raise it. I had to call Mindy back because I had to speak with Paul and Carla desperately.
I found them in the backyard, drinking iced tea from chilled glasses, decorated with brightly colored paper umbrellas. I took up a chair and sat with them, though not speaking.
"Is something wrong, Ian?" Carla asked. I worked out in my head what to say.
I explained to them what had happened at the bon fire months ago, and told them I just got off the phone with Mindy after she told me she was pregnant. They were speechless for several long moments. I sat there quietly, waiting for them to respond. Paul was the first to respond, and his response was to slap me upside the head.
"Ouch!" I yelled and leapt back from him, almost falling completely out of my chair. I now stood out of arm's length from Paul. Carla had rolled her eyes and slapped her husband upside his own head. "Have I taught you nothing about condoms from the months you've been living here?" Paul asked.
"I'm sorry!" I exclaimed profusely. "I know I was stupid!"
"Mistakes happen, Ian," Carla told me. "What else did Mindy say?"
"She is going to have the baby, but she doesn't want to keep it."
I slid my chair away from Paul's reach and sat back down.
"Is she going to give it up for adoption?" Paul asked.
"I told her I wanted to keep it, but I had to speak with you before anything is set in stone."
Paul and Carla were silent again for ages. They kept exchanged looks, switching back and forth between me and each other. Finally, Carla set her drink down and looked at me squarely.
"Our first order of business is to see your parents, Ian. We're not your parents, though I surely think of you as a son. I know you and your parents are estranged, but this might change things. Regardless of the outcome, I think they'll want to know that they will be grandparents."
My old house was a 20 minute drive. Carla and I were quiet during the drive over there. She pulled up slowly and parked in front of the house. I looked at the yard, at the weeds growing in the flower beds and noticed how wild the grass had gotten. It was strange; my parents had always been so anal about the appearance of the yard and garden.
Carla and I got out of the car and walked up the front walk to the door. I didn't have a key, though if I did I wouldn't have used it. I didn't consider this house to be my home anymore; I wouldn't have felt right about letting myself in. Plus, my dad probably would have thought I was an intruder and may have shot me with one of his guns. As we got closer, we noticed the mail spilling over the mailbox. I glanced at Carla; she had a grim look on her face. I took a deep breath and raised my fist to knock the door but Carla grabbed my wrist before I could make contact. She motioned to the door, making me notice that it was cracked open behind the outer door. I slowly opened the outer door, wincing when it creaked loudly.
"I'm going to go around back," Carla whispered. I told her to be careful. "You, too," she said.
I pushed the inner door open silently and closed the screen door quietly behind me. I saw the very top of Carla's head as she passed the window across the room. I ventured further into the room and noticed the surfaces were covered in a thin film of dust. The old picture frames that once hung on the walls were no longer there, leaving clean spots in different shapes and sizes. I noticed that the only pictures that remained contained me in them.
"Hello?" I called out tentatively. There was only silence in response. I continued to walk through the house, noticing the missing objects I remember being in certain spaces. More pictures of me remained. The hallway had several moving boxes. I sidestepped them and walked into the kitchen. I started a moment when I saw a figure standing at the sliding door, but then noticed it was only Carla. I walked across the tiled floor of the kitchen and unlocked the door to let her in.
"There are things missing," I told her as she shut the door behind her and locked it.
"What's missing?" she asked, looking around her surroundings. She, too, noticed the dusty appearance of all the surfaces. There were even some dirty dishes in the sink.
"Picture frames mostly, the ones without me in them..."
I turned away from Carla and continued the search through my old home. I found several rooms that were picked through, moving boxes left either folded or taped and ready to be filled. At first I thought my parents might be dead somewhere in the house, but upon further search I came to the conclusion that they had left town. I found no note for me, and no indication as to where they were going. The last room I looked in was their bedroom; I guess I had been saving it for last. A part of me was hoping to find them there. My mom liked to sit in the rocking chair by the window while she read her books, but the chair was still as stone. I walked over to it and wiped off the film of dust from the top.
A weird pain began to form in my chest, and my throat caught. I turned around to sit on the bed, but something crunched under my foot. I lifted my foot to see I stepped on broken glass. I looked around for the source and found a picture frame lying face down next to the bedside table on my dad's side of the bed. I flipped over the frame and found jagged pieces of glass still stuck in the frame. Behind the shards of glass a picture was placed, containing a very young version of myself with my mom and dad holding me. I collapsed on the floor and hugged the frame to my chest. I hadn't known I was crying until drops of my tears fell onto my jeans, darkening the light fabric where they landed.
I remember my parents telling me that I hardly cried as a baby, perfectly content most of the time. As I got older, I didn't cry when I had gotten hurt from falling off my bike. I took one look at my bl**dy knee and then assessed the pain. I took off running soon after, my mom holding a first aid kit. She always told me I was her strong man, stronger than my father.
"Ian?" a voice asked behind me.
I looked up to find Carla standing there, her hand halfway stretched out to me, as if she were hesitant about touching me. I assumed she didn't want to scare me.
"They're gone, Carla. They uprooted and left behind any trace of me. Why do I feel this way? Why am I crying, Carla? I hated my parents. They must have hated me too, by the looks of it."
"Oh, Ian... Do you honestly believe that you hated your parents?" Carla came closer and wiped away my tears and showed them to me; they glistened on her fingers. "This is proof that you loved your parents. I know the three of you never saw eye-to-eye, but they were your parents. They might not have been graceful in gaining your favor, but I'm sure they were just looking for a way to have something in common with you. You were very different from them, Ian. But hating them? No, I don't believe that."
Carla wrapped her arms around me in the warmest embrace I ever remembered having. She truly cared for me, and I loved her like the mother I was meant to have. I pulled back from her and kept her at arm's length. "I have to keep this baby, Carla. I need this baby more than anything now. And even more, this baby needs me. Like me, it will be abandoned by its mother but I won't do that. We need each other. I won't let the life I created grow up without knowing who I am, and knowing all the love I have to give it."
"I'm on your side, Ian. We'll talk to Paul and once we pull at his heartstrings, he won't be able to say no. He loves you like a son..."
Things completely changed for me when Paul gave me his permission. I talked onto the phone with Mindy for hours that night. She told me all about the appointments, and I told her I would be by her side at every one of them. Mindy's parents insisted on buying the crib and other essentials that the baby would need. Steve and I took a gift card filled with cash that we would need and bought a great looking crib and changing table. I think Steve was thrilled that I was going to be a dad, even at my age. We stood in front of baby clothes, though we didn't know the gender of the baby yet, we held up adorable little girl outfits and awesome boy outfits. I held a cute onesie in my hands, staring down at it with tears in my eyes.
"Steve, you're going to be an uncle to my c***d. You're not only my best friend, you're my b*****r. I love you, man."
Steve looked up at me from the boy clothes with a wide-eyed expression. "Shit man, you're going to make me cry. Seriously, stop talking like this! Asshole..." Steve started to walk away from me, but shot me a look over his shoulder and said, "I love you too, man."
I hung up the onesie I had been holding and let myself smile.
I went to every appointment with Mindy like I had promised, and at one of them we were told we could know the gender of the baby if we wanted. Mindy turned her head away and said she didn't want to know but that I did. Once Mindy left the room after the appointment, I hung around to ask the gender. It was going to be a girl! I was absolutely thrilled. I couldn't wait to hold my precious baby girl in my arms for the first time...
I spent a long time looking at names in books and their meanings. They all seemed really generic so I couldn't bring myself to name my daughter a name a lot of other girls would have. I had the perfect name for her that I thought of on my own, because of what she had done to me. My daughter was born several days early from the suspected due date, but she turned out to be completely healthy and beautiful. The doctor said that she must have been eager to meet her daddy! She was put in my arms right away after she was cleaned up; Mindy refused to look at her, but I knew that she was crying. I felt bad for Mindy, but she had made her decision and I wouldn't f***e anything on her.
I was sitting in the nursery with my new daughter, cradling her against my warm body. I looked down at her face, so peaceful in sl**p. I said, "I love you so much, Lumin." The RN in the room looked at me and smiled, "Why did you name her Lumin?" she asked. I watched Lumin's face as I spoke softly, "I wasn't sure where I was going with life for a long time. I was just living and doing what I wanted. What I have done led up to this point. When I found out I was going to be a dad, she illuminated this light within me that I didn't know existed, a light I never knew I had been searching for. I knew from that point I was going to be the best dad I could be to this little girl from now to forever..."
A crack of thunder brought me back from my Reflections and I realized that I had tears in my eyes. I looked over at the other hammock across the porch at my daughter, Lumin. She wore a pair of blue plaid pajama pants she picked up the last time we were at the mall and a Mishka t-shirt from his latest concert I took her to; she often told me that I looked like him. She must have felt my stare because she opened her eyes and meet mine with a smile, though it soon faded.
"Are you crying, dad?"
I smiled and hastily wiped them away with the back of my hands. "I can't help it, love."
My daughter raised herself from the hammock and padded lightly across the porch. I scooted over in my hammock as best I could to accommodate her. She snuggled herself against me and told me how much she loved me. The cool breeze of the storm brewing swayed the hammock we shared, and our breathing became shallow and even. We fell asl**p like that, me holding the most precious thing in my life. We weren't asl**p long before the clouds finally broke apart and soaked us with fat raindrops before we could make it into the house. I carried in a laughing Lumin and set her down; she went to the bathroom and got us towels to dry off with. I was sitting on the arm of the couch when she returned, the guitar I had since age 12 in my hands, playing the lullaby I wrote when she was just a baby.
"I always loved that song," Lumin stated when she came back in the room, arms loaded with two fluffy towels. "I wish I could play stuff like that." She sat down next to me on the couch and listened to me play her song.
"You have to practice, Lu..."
Lumin groaned, "Dad, you know that I practice every day."
"You'll grasp it eventually, honey."
Lumin rolled her eyes, wishing she had already grasped it. She really envied my talent but I knew she adored listening to me play and sing. I set my guitar down on the stand and held out my hand for her. She tossed the unused towel aside when she saw I wasn't going to use it, and then took my hand. I began to dance us slowly around the room; I had taught Lumin the waltz many years ago when she used to dance with me by standing on my feet. Now she knew the steps on her own and followed my lead trustingly.
"Dad, we don't have any music!" she blushed.
I smiled down at her. "You're right, my dear..."
I whistled a short intro before I began to sing a song that had been stuck in my head for days...
Wonderful, Wonderful – Johnny Mathis
"Sometimes we walk hand in hand by the sea/
And we breathe in the cool salty air/
You turn to me with a kiss in your eyes/
And my heart feels a thrill beyond compare/
Then your lips cling to mine, it's wonderful, wonderful/
Oh, so wonderful my love/
Sometimes we stand on the top of a hill/
And we gaze at the Earth and the Sky/
I turn to you and you melt in my arms/
There we are darling, only you and I/
What a moment to share, it's wonderful, wonderful/
Oh, so wonderful my love/
This world is full of wondrous things, it's true/
But they wouldn't have much meaning without you/
Some quiet evening, I sit by your side/
And we're lost in a world of our own/
I feel the glow of your unspoken love/
I'm aware of the treasure that I own/
And I say to myself, it's wonderful, wonderful/
Oh, so wonderful my love/
And I say to myself, it's wonderful, wonderful/
Oh, so wonderful my love/
I whistled a quick outro and dipped Lumin low. I held her there safely in my arms, knowing she always had a fear that she would slip from my grasp, but I would never let that happen. I kept my gaze upon her, the shadow of a smile playing on my lips. My face was close to Lumin's, and after a long moment she craned her neck up to bring her face closer to mine. I didn't move; I didn't know why I didn't move, I was stuck in this moment with her. Lumin pressed her lips lightly to mine and kissed me in a way a father and daughter shouldn't kiss. It was long and unhurried and incredibly soft, like the way I remembered kissing Mindy for the first time. After several slow heartbeats, I tore my lips away from my daughter. I pulled us up straight and let go of her, backing away until the back of my legs hit the couch.
"Why did you do that?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper. I couldn't meet Lumin's eyes, so I spoke to my bare feet. A chill went through the length of my spine as the sensation of my daughter's lips lingered on my own.
"I don't know," Lumin said. "The proximity of our bodies combined with the beautiful song you were singing, it felt like the right thing to do. I love you! I'm sorry!" My precious daughter had tears in her beautiful eyes. I felt my heart breaking.
I closed the space between us and wrapped my arms around her, holding her head to my chest as she cried. I consoled her, telling her that it was okay.
"I know that you love me, Lu, but are you in love with me?" I feared her response.
Lumin pulled back, though her hands still gripped me. "No! No! I swear!"
"It's okay; I'm just trying to understand."
"Listen to me, dad. The kiss happened in the heat of the moment. You're a special man to me. You've been by my side for nineteen years. I'm not going to lie to you; I really enjoyed kissing you like that. I'm old enough to understand how to decipher my feelings."
She may know how to decipher her feelings, but I was having one hell of a time trying to figure this entire situation out. I kept the promise to myself that I would be the best father I could be to Lumin. I had several girlfriends throughout her life, but they never lasted because I was so focused on my daughter. The women became jealous that I wanted to spend more time with my daughter than with them, so they left me. Every time a new woman came into our life, Lumin thought she might finally have a mother. She knew all about Mindy, I made sure she knew and understood the situation early in her life. Lumin was strong. I trusted she knew what she was doing. I never hovered over her, but I was completely happy giving her as much of my time as so desired. If she wanted to be alone, I would leave her to her own devices. I stopped looking for women to be with because it turned out to be a disappointment to everyone.
"Do you want to be with me, sexually?" I asked. Again, I feared her answer.
Lumin thought for a moment and responded with, "Is that so wrong, dad?"
"Society says it's wrong. The law says it's wrong."
"How does society and the law know what every individual feels?" She crossed her arms.
"I know that you raise a valid point, but do you really want to cross that line? Things won't ever be the same again, Lumin." I wrapped my hands around her upper arms and looked my daughter in the eyes.
"I honestly believe that things won't change between us. We're very close, and I know this will only bring us closer. I'm not asking to sl**p in your bed every night. I'm not asking to be your lover. I just want to share something special with you, will you trust me?"
My mind raced a mile a minute, but there were no words in my mind to counter her argument. Truth be told, I trusted my daughter more than anyone in the world. After much arguing against myself, I made my decision and picked up Lumin. The corners of her lips twitched as if she were refusing to smile. I carried my beautiful daughter to my bedroom and closed the door with my foot. I set her gently on the end of my bed and then closed my slatted windows to keep out the rain. The glass was a blue/green in color and opaque in nature, so I didn't have any window coverings. I enjoyed the sound through the closed windows.
I turned to face Lumin and found her standing with shoulder resting against the bedpost. I closed the space between us, but only gazed at her once I was in front of her. I moved a strand of her blond hair behind her ear, amused how messy it was from sl**p.
"This is your last chance, love..." I told her but she just rolled her beautiful ice blue eyes. I wanted to take that as my cue to move forward, but I think a part of me was hoping Lumin would back down so we wouldn't have to cross this line, though I also think part of me wanted this too. In fact, I know I do... but was I took indulgent of a parent to give her this? Those thoughts plagued my mind for a long moment before I cleared it completely and cupped Lumin's head in my hands, tilting it back. I leaned down and kissed my daughter deeply, till we were both gasping for air. She smiled lovingly at me, but no smile tugged at my lips. I resumed kissing her, playing my lips leisurely against my daughter's, scrapping my teeth along her pouty lower one. I had smelled the scent of her cherry lip balm when she first kissed me in the living room, now I definitely tasted it on my tongue. I tugged her lip between my teeth, pulling until it could stretch no further, and soothed it with my tongue when it escaped my grasp.
I kept one hand on the back of Lumin's head, my fingers tangling in her hair. I slid my other hand down her lower back and ended up wrapping my arm tight around her waist. Lumin was pressed tightly against me now. I always savored the nearness of my daughter, but this felt different. Now, I know she could feel how hard she made me. If this never happened again, I know this is how my memory would remain, her effect on me this way.
I gripped the handful of Lumin's hair I had and pulled on it lightly to shift the position of her head to gain access to her neck, and then I kissed along her collarbone and nibbled my way up her neck. I smiled as I nipped at her earlobe, listening to her breathy moans. I ran my tongue along the curvature of her ear, her sexy little ear that I loved so much.
Lumin f***ed her hands between our bodies; I could feel her starting to unbutton my shirt. I loosened my hold on her and removed my hand from her hair. I watched her closely as she finished unbuttoning my shirt and gazed at my chest. I dropped the arm holding her to my side as she pushed the shirt from my shoulders and pulled it slowly off my body. She took it and rested it on the back of my mother's old rocking chair, and then she brought her hands up to my shoulders and felt the tight dark skin.
"I'm jealous of the freckles on your shoulders," she said. "I love the way they lighten in the sun."
"You have the same kind of freckles," I told her. Lumin looked at me curiously, so I grasped the hem of her t-shirt and lifted it up her body. She held up her arms so I could remove the shirt completely; underneath she wore a black bikini top that was a bandeau halter style, but I didn't know for sure; I'm not the kind of man who keeps track of all the different styles. I trailed my fingertips lightly down the soft skin of her back, tempted to unhook the back strap but I continued onto where her freckles rested. I stopped at Lumin's lower back, above the band of her pants, tracing the area with my fingers. "Right here," I whispered. Lumin looked me in the eyes and stood on her toes to kiss me once softly on my lips. She wrapped her arms around my back and held me close, her cheek resting against my chest. I was sure she could feel the fast pace of my beating heart. While she held me, I brought my hands back around her and unclasped the back strap of her top. The straps fell forward, and I slid my hands up to her neck and plucked a string until the bow came undone. Lumin held the garment in place when she backed away from me.
"What are you waiting for?" I asked. I was smiling, but hoping she wasn't backing down.
Lumin grinned. "Nothing, I'm just prolonging your anticipation." The bathing suit dropped to my bedroom floor, and my breath caught in my throat at the sight of my daughter's chest. They were breathtaking, bigger than I ever thought they were. That was probably because before this moment, I never thought about the size of them or ever thought about paying attention to them; now I wasn't sure I could give them all the attention they deserved.
"They're perfect," I mused.
I stepped forward to cup my daughter's beautiful breasts in my hands. I tweaked her fat, pink nipples between my fingers and she moaned in response. I kissed Lumin softly on her lips, then trailed sweet, soft kisses down her neck and along her collarbone. I continued kissing down to the nipple of her left breast and let my tongue swirl around it. Lumin gasped, and then let out a sexy moan as she ran her fingers through my dark hair; the breathy moan caused my dick to twitch in my pants. While I sucked on my daughter's precious nipples, I started to unbuckle my belt. Lumin said, "Dad, let me..."
Smirking, I watched as Lumin got down on her knees in front of me. With her own smirk, she kept her striking gaze on my face as she finished unbuckling my belt. She gasped playfully the moment she unbuttoned my jeans. There was a quick flash in her eyes but I didn't have any time to think about what it might mean before Lumin started to pull down my jeans. I hardly wore any underwear unless we were going out in public, so the moment my jeans passed my hard cock it sprang free and almost hit my daughter in her sweet and beautiful face. "Holy shit, dad!" she said. Lumin caught my cock in her hand before it hit her in the face, grasping it firmly at the base. She looked up at me and she had a thrilled expression on her face.
"This is a good looking cock, dad!" Lumin said enthusiastically. She moved her hand leisurely along the length of my shaft as she admired my thick piece of 'daddy meat'. I thought of that term and felt my cock grow just a little more in my daughter's hand. I couldn't believe my daughter was having this effect on me, but I loved it more as this progressed...
"You have a sexy mouth, baby. Why don't you use it?" I suggested not-so-subtly.
"My pleasure," Lumin said quietly, a hint of a moan in her voice. She licked her lips seductively and then wrapped them around the head of my dick. She used her wet tongue to swirl around the oozing pre-cum. "Oh, fuck yes," I groaned in response to her manipulations. Lumin traced the rim of my cock head with the tip of her tongue, causing my breath to catch. I had briefly thought if she had ever sucked cock before, but her lack of hesitation confirmed that she's familiar with the male genitalia and I found that sexy. My daughter moved past the head of my cock and pushed her mouth further down my shaft, wetting it with her slick tongue. She moved slowly down my shaft, pulling back in small increments before continuing further until I was bumping the back of her throat. I couldn't stop moaning, my fingers tangling in her hair as I tried to keep it away from her face. The suction of her mouth around my cock, the swirling tongue and expert hands working my cock as she sucked it was the most amazing feeling. I came to the realization that I loved the fact that it was my daughter's lips around my cock. The pleasure she was giving me caused my hips to jerk forward, sending the remaining length of me down her throat. Lumin handled the unexpected extra length well and breathed deeply through her nose. She bobbed up and down, more of my cock becoming slowly exposed before it finally popped free of her mouth. A dribble of saliva clung to the head of my cock and connected with her lip. Lumin breathed deeply, swallowing her accumulated saliva.
"I love sucking your cock, dad," she said, wiping away her spit. I tried to answer, but I was swept away with new pleasure as she sucked in one of my balls into her mouth while she jerked my cock with a faster pace. "Fuuuuuuck," I growled.
"You like that?" she asked. Though I knew it was rhetorical, I groaned in response. She engulfed my cock again while she rolled my ball sac. She started to suck hard and fast; my hips instinctually began to move in rhythm with her. Eventually I took the lead and gripped her head to still it and fucked her face; Lumin's fingers dug into my thighs for leverage. I was moaning loudly as my cock sliced in and out of my daughter's sexy mouth. A few more thrusts and I could feel my balls tighten, and the familiar sensation of cum traveling up my rod made my body shiver. "I'm going to cum, baby!" I could barely utter those words as my semen shot out of my cock like a cannon. The first shot hit the back of my daughter's throat, but I grabbed my cock and pulled it out, jerking it while several more shots landed on her lips, chin and chest. My cum dripped down onto her breasts, where she rubbed it in with one hand, moaning. I noticed her other hand was busy insider her pajama pants.
"Is my baby all hot and bothered?" I asked. I pulled Lumin onto her feet and kissed her deeply. She pulled her hand out of her pants and brought them up to my face; they glistened in the available light and the aroma hit my nostrils. I inhaled deeply, my eyelids closing as my eyes rolled into the back of my head. When I opened them again, I looked into Lumin's eyes and opened my mouth. My tongue sought out the fingers covered in her juices, and I started to clean them off. Lumin held my gaze as I started to suck on her fingers. She pulled her pants down and stepped out of them, finally standing fully naked in front of her own father.
I stepped back to take a look at my daughter; if it could, my jaw would have dropped to the floor. I'd seen my daughter in a bikini; I knew how fit she was but this was completely different. Now I was looking at my daughter with complete lust. Her large breasts sat high on her chest, the nipples tight and hard. I could see the shadow of 6-pack forming, though her stomach still looked soft to the touch. My mouth started to water when they made eye contact with what was visible of her pussy; she was hairless, save for the small patch of hair kept trimmed above her slit. I licked my lips u*********sly and noticed for the first time how wide her hips were. I'd heard the term 'c***d bearing hips' and thought it applied nicely. They were shaped beautifully, with thick thighs attached. I let my gaze continue down her long tanned legs. The recent tattoo on her ankle seemed to be healing up nicely, and her toenails were painted neon blue.
"You are breathtaking, my love..." I closed the space between us and held her body close to mine. My hard cock pressed tightly against her stomach, it felt like a rock against her body. Kissing her deeply, my hands trailed down her back and rested on her thick ass. I squeezed and massaged her ass, causing her to moan into my mouth.
"I need you, dad," Lumin breathed.
"What do you need, baby?" I asked as I set to kissing along her neck.
"My cunt is on fire, help me."
It was magic to my ears, hearing my daughter say that. I told her to get on the bed, and when she turned around I smacked her ass. She giggled and jumped onto the bed, crawling to the middle of the mattress and flipped over on her back. She lay there amidst all over my pillows, her beautiful hair flowing around her body and her icy blue eyes gleaming. There had a radiant smile plastered on her face, and her face was flush.
"Damn little girl, you are fucking gorgeous!" I said as I checked her out again.
"Speaking of fucking..." Lumin's eyes wandered as she trailed off, and then she looked at me and smiled, seeing if I caught her hint. A hint like that couldn't pass me.
"Oh, we'll get to that baby. I want to taste that pussy first."
Lumin spread her legs and smiled, her hand trailing slowly down her body. She stopped when she reached the sweetest spot between her thighs. "You mean this pussy?" she asked, her left eyebrow raised and a devious smirk on her face.
I said nothing but climbed into the bed with her. I kissed the top of her right foot and continued to kiss up her leg. When I reached the spot between her thighs, I just gazed at it. Her pussy lips were plump and oh-so delectable looking. I could see that she was already very wet. I lovingly pulled apart her pussy lips to lust at her inner folds. Her clit peeked out from under the hood, begging to be touched. I lightly blew on the wetness and Lumin gasped.
"That's a strange, pleasant feeling," she said thoughtfully.
"That's how I feel when I step out of a shower..." I chuckled.
I tentatively ran the tip of my tongue along the inner folds of my daughter's pussy. I'd always been uncertain about the taste of a woman's pussy, though they'd never been quite the same. I was pleasantly surprised when I discovered what Lumin tasted like, and how much I liked it. I made love to her sweet pussy with my tongue, lapping at her like a dog lapped up water. I couldn't get enough of her nectar, as I'd heard people say. I roughly hooked my daughter's legs over my shoulders and buried my face in her hairless cunt. My nose brushed against her clit as my tongue dove into her love tunnel. It didn't take very long to get Lumin moaning and writhing on the bed. There was a constant rush of her juices for me to lap up and swallow as it squished out around my tongue as it fucked her.
I removed my tongue and licked up her folds to her clit, swirling around the little button in a mixture of my saliva and her juices. Lumin's hips bucked into my face with each pass over her clit and there was a constant moaning sound coming from her. I could hear her using profanity under her breath, becoming progressively louder as I inserted a finger into her pussy. Her pussy was so tight around it, but I felt no hindrance of a barrier. I secretly cheered with joy. "Damn baby, your pussy is fucking tight!" Lumin moaned in response. I pulled out my index finger, her pussy walls clinging to my finger, slick and shiny with her juices. I inserted a second finger along with the first into Lumin's pussy. This action caused her to arch her back slightly off the bed and moan really loudly. I set a good pace as I finger-fucked my daughter's tight little cunt and set to the task of rubbing on her sensitive clit with my tongue.
"Holy shit!" Lumin wailed. "You're gonna make me cum! Harder!" she begged.
I started to thrust my fingers into harder and faster, desperately wanting to bring my beautiful daughter to orgasm. "Come on, baby," I urged her. "Cum for daddy," I gritted as I pounded her cunt with my fingers and rubbed her clit with my other hand.
Lumin screamed loudly, somehow timing it perfectly with a loud crack of thunder that nearly had me out of my skin; I had forgotten about the storm. Her hands clenched my sheets as she back arched highly off the mattress. She kept repeating the word 'fuck' as she whimpered while coming down from her orgasm. My fingers had slowed, and eventually came to a complete stop within her before I slowly pulled them out. They were completely coated in her juices. I took the pleasure in licking clean one of them before I crawled up my daughter's sexy body and stuck the other in her mouth. She was shocked at first, but then she moaned and cleaned my finger completely. She had done it so seductively, like it was a mini-cock.
I wrapped my arms around Lumin and leaned in to kiss her. It started off slow, but became more aggressive. My hands roamed her body while her hands did the same to mine. We rolled around on the bed while our body continuously begged for oxygen. I loved kissing her; her mouth moved perfectly with mine. Cliché, but it was as if Lumin's mouth was made for me. Like a puzzle piece falling perfectly into place. She was threatening cardiac arrest with the way she moved her lips against mine, and the way her teeth tugged at my lip with just enough pressure to be pleasurably painful. Lumin was definitely making me feel amazing; I don't think any woman had ever made me feel this way just from kissing alone.
I felt Lumin grasp my cock and she started stroking it slowly. My eyes fluttered closed and I moaned into her neck. "I need you inside me..." I heard her whisper. I instructed Lumin to lay back and find a comfortable spot. I was kneeling at the edge of the foot of my bed, watching her intently. She looked so sexy laying there, legs spread open to me, playing with her pussy for me. I crawled up to her and positioned myself atop her, my weight held up by my left forearm. I needn't bother asking if she was completely sure she wanted to go through with this because there was no backing down for either of us. We'd come too far to stop now.
I grasped my cock firmly and rubbed the tip between her nether-lips, the contact making both of us moan. As it slipped back down, I let it catch on the entrance of her pussy and stopped there. I held my daughter's gaze as I started to push my cock into her wet pussy. Her mouth opened with a breathy 'oh' sound. She was incredibly tight for not being a virgin. Half way in, I pulled out until the head of my cock was hugged tightly by her walls. I kissed Lumin as I slid back into her, slowly still, until the entire length of me was imbedded inside her. I stayed still inside her so she could adjust to my fat girth.
"I feel so full," Lumin said. "Fuck me, dad..."
I easily started to move myself within her, rocking my hips back and forth slowly. I wanted to take my time with Lumin; I didn't want this to be over as soon as it started. Everyone seemed to be all about fucking hard and fast from the get-go; that's how one of my ex-girlfriends was. Don't get me wrong, I love to pound but I love to mix things up a bit by going nice and slow at a comfortable pace. That's how I took it with Lumin. I made sure she could feel every ridge of the veins in my cock, and I wanted to feel the texture of her tight walls as it enveloped my cock.
"Your cock is so big," Lumin said. Her hands wrapped under my arms and cupped my shoulders in her palms. Her hips had started to move in perfect sync with mine, coming up with every one of my in thrusts. I picked up the pace a little bit, thrusting faster and deeper but not quite pounding. Lumin moaned into my ear, "I fucking love the way your cock feels inside my pussy."
Holy shit, I loved the words that came out of her mouth. The sound of my daughter using those words spurred me on, and I knew she knew the effect they had on me. "Yeah daddy, fuck me. Fuck my tight, wet pussy. Your thick cock is stretching my pussy lips to their limit. Oh fuck!" Lumin shouted as I started to fuck her harder, stimulated by what was coming out of her filthy mouth. I could feel Lumin's nails digging into my back, no doubt adding to scars her mother had given me; I loved fucking-scars. My hands roamed Lumin's body roughly while I smashed her cunt. One of my hands tweaked her nipples crudely while the other one softly squeezed her neck. The louder Lumin moaned, the harder I fucked her; the harder I fucked her, the more tightly I squeezed her neck. A squeak brought me back to reality and I noticed the wide eyed expression on Lumin's face and instantly released my hold on her, my pace slowly considerably.
"Shit, Lumin... I'm so fucking sorry, baby!"
"No, dad, it's fine. Honest. I liked it, but I started to get a little dizzy and that scared me."
"Lumin..." I hung my head, feeling slightly ashamed. I'd never done that before, to anyone. "I'm really sorry, honey."
"It's okay, just don't stop fucking me."
I hugged Lumin close to me and rolled us over so she was on top, never once slipping out.
"Let us you take over, baby..."
I rested my arm behind my head for support and took a deep breath, still mortified by nearly making Lumin pass out. Lumin adjusted herself to get in a comfortable position; she ended up straddling me like one normally does in this position. She set the pace slowly at first to work us back up to where we'd been before I messed up. Her hands rested on my abdomen, her fingers curving around my body to grip onto me as she bucked her hips up and down wildly. She kept making sexy moans as she licked and sucked on her bottom lip; it was driving me wild. I watched Lumin's breasts dance hypnotically before my eyes as she rode my cock with abandon. I gripped her hips firmly and used my strength to lift her body up and slam her back down on my cock as I fucked up into her. My daughter screamed every time I bottomed out in her. I fucked her deeply while her pussy clenched tightly on my cock.
"I'm cumming!" she cried.
I continued to pound her pussy, "Fuck yeah, baby! Cream on your daddy's cock!"
Lumin wailed loudly while my cock continued to piston in and out of her through her powerful orgasm. Her eyes were shut tight while she gripped onto my body, her breasts jerking around wildly. I began to slow down and she sighed happily, a smile plastered on her face.
"Holy shit," Lumin said. "No one has ever made me cum like that!" She laughed. She leaned down and kissed me roughly. "You're so fucking sexy, dad!"
My mouth twitched into a smile, and I pushed Lumin onto her back. I expertly maneuvered her legs so spun on my cock and now lay face down on the bed. Her knees were holding her ass high in the air while her shoulders pressed into the mattress. I gripped the back of her neck to hold her while I started to fuck her again at a quick, steady pace.
"Your cunt is even tighter like this, baby. Damn!"
I couldn't understand Lumin's reply because most of her face was pressed into my mattress. I knew I was nearing my own orgasm so I released my hold on my daughter's neck and gripped the tops of her thick thighs. I looked down at my cock slicing in and out of her pussy as it clung tightly; I loved the way it looked. From the position she was in, her ass cheeks were spread apart so I looked lovingly at her hairless rosebud. I could feel the familiar tingling sensation in my back that told me I was extremely closing to blowing my load.
I squeezed my daughter's ass cheeks and started to pound into her harder and deeper.
Lumin lifted her head from the mattress. "Fuck me, daddy! Yes, oh fuck, fuck me! Pound your daughter's tight little cunt!" Lumin yelled. "Shit! Daddy, I'm cumming! You're making me cum again! Don't stop, don't stop!"
I bellowed loudly as I started to explode my semen in my daughter. "Take my cum, baby! Cum on my cock while I cum inside your teen cunt!" I continued to slam into my daughter's ravaged pussy until my balls were completely empty.
My cock was softening, so I slipped out of her and fell back on the bed, breathing heavily. She turned and looked at me, her butt still sticking in the air. Lumin crawled across the bed to me and snuggled against my body. We lay there for a long time. The room was eerily quiet, save for our breathing. That's when I noticed the storm passed.
"I wonder when it stopped raining..." I thought out loud.
I felt Lumin shrug against me, but she remained silent. "Dad..."
"What's up, baby?" I asked, curious about the tone in her voice.
"I love you," she said in almost a whisper.
"I love you, too."
Lumin shifted her body to look at me, resting her weight on her forearm. "You don't hate me for making you do this?"
"I could never hate you, Lumin. You are everything to me. You are like no woman I have ever been with; this was an amazing experience. I'm glad we did this, okay?"
Lumin beamed happily, "Okay. Are you hungry?" she asked.
"I suppose I could eat," I mumbled.
"Let's go out, my treat. I'm going to take a shower. You rest up, old man..."
Lumin rolled off the bed and bounded into the bathroom off my bedroom before I knew what happened. I rolled to rest my head on my pillow and smiled. "Old man?" I whispered.