self-control's Blog
Life on xHamster: a reflection at 120 days

I just finished listening to BigDickBandit89 play piano on Live Cams. Yes, this is a pr0n site. But I don't care. If there's anything I've learned in the last few months, anything can happen in Live Cams.

And why am I here? I found xHamster by accident, while searching the Internet for my unique fetish tastes, and then realized it was a membership site. Shortly after becoming a member, I realized there were free live cams. So I explored them. I have been mainly house-bound for the last few months, working two jobs and taking a class. I needed to spend a lot of time working at the computer, which made xHamster the perfect diversion.

Little did I know what would follow. Life, distilled and compressed and amplified many-fold, all in one website. I came for the naked people, truly. Yet, in that four months, I have made friends with other users and with some of the cammers; I have experienced cam2cam for the first time; had a few false starts at romance; have seen some fantastic women on cam; have dealt with trolls and haters, hackers and spammers; had my profile page attacked; have seen musical performances and vodka experiments; been supported and befriended; dealt with people's problems; been lied to and lied about--but ultimately, have had a marvelous time. I find it amusing that the top 3 users with whom I have the highest number of PMs are men, and that 1/3 of the people on my xHamster Skype list are men, and that half of the xHamster users on my cell phone list are men. I'm just having a good time and finding out that the friendships are the best part of being here.

What now? I don't know. My second job is ending. I will have much more free time and I've been neglecting a lot around here in the past 9 months. I have a small circle of friends in my new city who miss me at coffee house meetings and Sunday brunches. Quite frankly, I would give all this up in a moment for the right reason. That reason aside, I will definitely be scaling back my time on here in any case. Users and cammers have come and gone in these four months, and members of our little posse are slowly going their separate ways for various reasons. I would miss the xHamster experience if I left it entirely. And it's not so much the yummy naked ladies I'd miss, so much as the company of the ones I like, and the enjoyment of the cam room experience with my on-line friends.

Would I do this all again? Probably, but I'd change a few things. However, I'm not sure which ones I'd change and which not; when one starts tampering with the threads in the tapestry of one's life, it begins to unweave. But I definitely want to keep the best moments I've experienced here so far, and also to make more joyous moments in the future.

Life is short. Live it to the fullest. I've found, over all, that the things you regret the most are the things you didn't try.

BigDickBandit89 said he's playing piano again tomorrow night. I can't wait.

Posted by self-control 2 years ago
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2 years ago
I love xhamster too. I met you in OooOOOh's room and you seem like a great person. I read your profile and your blog. Glad your here.
2 years ago
agree... I made great friends in here as well... I exchange most pm with a girl, could be weird but not really.. she came here first and she drop by my cam the first few days and she gaved me advices... its one of the nicest thing I ever had in this site..
2 years ago
very nice self! i love everything that you said and although i haven't been on this site nearly as long as most of you, but i still feel the things you feel about the friendships.

ive made better friends on this site then actual friends in the real world, which amazed me because its a porn site. Im grateful for the way you befriended me so fast, and gave me advice about anything. Until next time "brother" lmao =)
2 years ago
Very insightful. I must say, I share alot of the same feelings, and haven't regretted a single moment of the time I have spent here with my friends. xx Thank you for being a part of it:)
2 years ago
Very well written self!

Though the lowest common denominator brought us all here, Ive met a lot of people in chat from all over the country and world that I would consider to be friends.