You know what? However we blokes like to pretend otherwise, the vast majority of us are overawed by women. At least a little. When we first meet up, only a handful are going to be uber confidents. Inside, no matter how od you are, there'll be butterflies at the very least. So...
(bl**dy hell. How nervous am I? I can't believe I actually agreed to meet her. Still; I'm here now, so let's see if I can't try and calm down a little. Breathe. Relax. I'm early, so that's good. It'll give me a little time to compose myself. Nervous? No; scared witless, more like.)
(Well, it looks like she chose a nice place to meet. Shame about the weather, though. It's coming down really hard now. Geez; I'm having a polite small-talk chat with myself. And I'm getting verbal diarrhoea with it. What's that all about? Right; let's get the checklist over with first. Maybe that will settle the nerves a little. OK, mirror; do your worst. "Do your worst"? Fuck. Calm down. Why so bl**dy nervous? What's she going to do anyway? Certainly nothing to be scared of, especially in public. Back to the matter in hand, then. Anything stuck between your teeth? No; that's good. Breath? I must have been chewing gum all the way up here. Minty fresh still. Tie straight? Yep. Hair neat? Good enough. OK; all in order. You'll do for now.)
(Man; I'm getting really hot in here. The car windows are already steaming up. How suspicious must I look? OK; open the window a crack. Get some of that cool air in. Not too much; don't want to let the rain in as well. You do NOT want to look like a sweaty wreck on your first visit. That would not be cool. I'll fire up the engine and get the AC going. That should help clear the windows a bit quicker.)
(I wonder if she's already got here? What's the time? OK; it's only ten to. She said one o'clock, so you're still early. Oh; here comes another car. Is it her? Nope; it's another pair of blokes coming for a round of golf. In this weather, too. What are they like? Good luck, guys. Rather you than me. Anyway; sit back and relax again. Just listen to the radio and keep an eye on the driveway.)
(Hey up; here comes another one. Where's it going? OK. It's parked up in the bay ahead. I can't see the driver yet. The windows are too dark. The door's opening and... oh God. Is that her? It IS her. Shit; she's gorgeous. Right; engine off. Out you get. Deep breaths. Keep your head. Just walk over to her and say hello. Simple, right? Yeah, right. Sort of. Anyway, come on, fella.)
"Hi. Well; it's great to meet you at last."
(Nice. Well done, lad; great opener. That's bound to catch her attention and spark some interest. Now what? What do I do next? What should I say? Shit; CALM DOWN.)
"Let's get inside and away from this weather, shall we? Please; after you. Man; it's tipping down, isn't it? Right; can I get you a drink? An orange juice? Sure. Find yourself somewhere to sit and I'll bring it over with a menu."
(OK; that's better. You actually sound in control. Great acting. Try to keep that control but don't be overpowering. Just be yourself. Don't give yourself any complications by trying to be what you're not. That'll only make you look more of an arse. Keep it light, keep it calm and simple. This is only a first meeting. Remember; walk first. Don't try and trip yourself up. You can run later. Maybe. If you're lucky.)
(Where did she go? Brilliant; I've not been here five minutes and I've managed to lose her already. For fuck's sake, man; Will you just CALM DOWN? Shit; my heart rate must be way too high at the moment. My hands feel all clammy. This is not good. Keep it calm or you'll give yourself a coronary. Come on; deep breaths, remember. All right? Better. Dry your hands and try to relax a little. Now collect your thoughts and just look around you. She can't have got far.)
(All right; clocked her. Over there in that half-lit booth. Phew! Good choice, lady. That's a very smart move; suitably private and out of the way yet not completely hidden from public view, so others can see her as they walk past. Makes it safe for her. And me, probably. So we can both relax.)
Well, she's still smiling. Ooh and it's a lovely smile, too. Good start. I wonder if she's as nervous as I am? Nah. Not possible. She looks cool as a cucumber, whereas I'm already starting to flake. I can't believe how anxious I feel.)
"There you go; one orange juice. With a slice of orange, too. Wow."
(STOP SOUNDING SO STILTED. Sit down. Calm down. Compose yourself. Eye contact, remember; eye contact. There's no rocket science here. It's just two people meeting up for lunch. Just be yourself, remember?)
(God, her smile is just so... Dammit; an erection already. Just as well we're sitting at a table, not at the bar. This would be REALLY difficult to disguise. CALM DOWN. Wow; she smells lovely, too. It's only now I'm sitting with her that it's wafted across. What is that? No idea but I like it. Not overpowering but quite floral.)
(Fuck. Think. Concentrate now. Get yourself back on track. Let's have a proper look at her now. Don't ogle; just show interest. Well, that'll be easy enough. I'm already more than interested. So; how's she dressed? Her outfit is VERY figure-hugging. Black really suits her. I'm liking the blouse, too. Everything in the right proportion and man; she is very, very classy. This woman really knows how to carry herself. I think all the guys in here gave her at least one glance. How much jealousy and hatred is coming my way, I wonder. Who gives a shit? She's with me, fellas. Suck it up.)
(I'm only glad I dressed smartly for this meeting but she has overshadowed me by a country mile. She really is something else. Me? I'm already a mental wreck. Feigning calm, I'm asking her questions, listening to her answers, listening to her soft voice, showing interest, which is also easy, telling her about myself yet all the while gazing at her, mentally undressing her and imagining...)
"In truth? This is a first for me. I've not actually met anyone like this before."
"As I was driving over, I wondered all the way whether I'd actually have the nerve to meet you. Still; here I am."
(...Imagining. Oh my; now I'm looking at her legs. I can't stop myself. Wrapped in those, what is it? Stockings? Hold-ups? Tights? Please don't be hold ups or tights. Please let it be stockings. Black, broad mesh and spots. Is there nothing about her that hasn't turned me on? I hope she can't see me squirming.)
"I know. So many men ask me about my fantasies."
(Really? I'm not surprised. I'm living one out right now and trying desperately to maintain some level of cool-ness. This place is really quite crowded. That's probably no bad thing. If it was just the two of us? Fuck; I just want to rip her clothes off her and jump her bones right now. She's not even doing anything outstanding. All she's doing is sitting there. Sitting there, leaning towards me, the cut of her blouse just enough to show the merest hint of cleavage. FUCK. Am I ogling her? Eyes. Back to the eyes. Even then, she is just exuding sensuality. Wow.)
"I don't tend to have any fantasies because, if I really want something that badly, I try to make sure I have everything in place to get it."
(I'm still wondering about the stockings, if that's what she's got on. And what else, now I'm on that level? Knickers? French knickers? Thong? Whoa; slow down, there. Easy, tiger.)
"So, generally, no. I don't worry about fantasies. Desires, sure but not for long, as I just go out to get it. I like to live for the moment, really."
(Yes. Nice answer. Very cool, lady. Frankly, I'm loving this particular "moment".)
(Please let it be a thong. I so want it to be a thong. Oh God; what am I like? Now I'm thinking about her ass. She has lovely round cheeks. So much better to see some shape and she really does have a fantastic shape. Stop it. Think, man. You need to keep the conversation going. Keep your mind on the subject matter, whatever that is, now. Just keep talking. It'll keep your mind occupied and help stop thinking about "other things". Whatever you do, do not, DO NOT think about her body. Bugger; why did I think "body"? Great; that's all I can think about now. Bugger. Bugger.)
"Not long, really. It was quite easy to find, once I'd got off the motorway. I probably got here way too early but I'd rather that. Late for a first meeting is never a good thing."
(Her soft, warm, inviting body brushing against mine. Feeling her smoothness as we touch. The hint of a pout on her lips. Watching her running her tongue lightly over her top lip as she sips her orange juice.)
"As there was no phone signal, I looked inside but couldn't see you, so I assumed I'd beaten you to it and decided to wait for you, out there in the car."
(...Imagining. Watching her firm, beautifully scuplted breasts rise and fall in time with her breathing. My hand reaching to touch her thigh and her hand guiding mine, up the length of her thigh, making no attempt to stop me. My hand slipping under that skirt. Oh god; it's stockings and suspenders. And it IS a thong. Her legs parting a little. My finger resting on the silken fabric of the thong and her warm, smooth mound. I can feel the heat and, oh God, it's wet.)
"No, the current place is all right, as far as it goes but I really want to find something better, something larger. Sooner, rather than later, if I possibly can."
(*POP*. Wow; that brought me back to reality. This calm exterior, such as it is, is getting harder to maintain by the minute. I am already getting way too aroused. Where was I?)
"What do I want? Wow. Well, If I'm honest, I want to rip your clothes off."
(NICE answer, dickhead. Thinking with your knob again. Very smooth. Not. Now what? Have I overstepped the mark? No, it looks OK; she laughed. Is that good? Let's hope so.)
"Well, all men are terrified of women, if we're honest. It's the unknown quantity that all women have, I suppose. Despite our exterior bravado, men really can't read women that well. I know I can't. Besides, women have that one advantage over men because men never know if they'll get away with anything or if they're going to get lucky. A woman always knows."
(Shit. She really HAS parted her legs. That was subtle. They were crossed a minute ago but not now. I didn't imagine that, did I? Oh God. This woman is driving me crazy. I really have to keep it together. If I'm not careful, this could get really embarrassing.)
"Oh. Do I terrify you? I hope I am easy to get on with."
"Yes. I mean no. I mean. Yes, of course you are. bl**dy hell; what am I trying to say?"
"I don't know. You tell me. What ARE you trying to say, Steve?"
(Man; that is such a disarming smile. She KNOWS what she's done and clearly knows she has the upper hand now. Well done, lady. It's worked on me. I am now clearly putty in your hands. At least I'm managing to keep my dick under control. After a fashion, at least. It's out of sight, anyway.)
(OK; now's the time, I think. Nothing to lose. Tell her what's really on your mind. Don't be daft, though; none of this "I want to take you aside and make passionate love". That will surely have her heading for the door. Just tell her. She can only run. Or tell you to piss off, I suppose but I don't think she will. She actually seems to be enjoying the adulation. Or is she just amused at my obvious awkwardness? Certainly, she still looks more relaxed than I am and I think she knows the power that she is wielding. It's certainly working on my will, what's left of it. It's her call, of course but I now know that I'm NOT going to get lucky but that's actually OK. Fuck; what am I saying? I hope she doesn't think I'm "cute". That would be a bl**dy disaster. I hate "cute".)
"Well, OK. Let's see. I think it's clear that you're handling this much better than me. I hope I've calmed down a little since that first blundering greeting. Sorry about that; I don't know what I was thinking, I'm sure. Anyway; I'm really glad that I came to see you. I so nearly cried off, even as I was coming over but I didn't want to live with the "what if? question. Besides, we had agreed and it would have been rude to stand you up."
"You have been fantastically easy to get on with. It's probably good that we met in public, mind, although I hope I haven't made too much of an arse of myself. I was really nervous about meeting you but you made me feel at ease from the off. Which, ironically, makes this all the more difficult for me. I mean; here we are in this lovely place, in public, which is probably just as well because I have been embarrassingly, acutely aroused from the moment I set eyes on you. Yes, I really did want to, I really do want to jump your bones, from the moment I set eyes on you. However, we'll ignore that base instinct for now. I think you are an absolutely stunning woman and this has been a real pleasure, if more than a little frustrating for me in my current testosterone-fuelled state. The surroundings are pleasant, the food is good and the company has been absolutely fantastic. Thank you."
(Better. Maybe. Apart from the "thank you", perhaps.)
"Look; I understand that this is not going to go any further, at least not today but I'd like to ask a naive, perhaps impertinent question."
"May I kiss you?"
"Sure. I think that a kiss will be fine."
("Fine"? How do I read that? Is she relieved? Or disappointed? OK, think positive; take it as a good sign. She's not told you to take a hike. It probably WILL just be a kiss but that's pretty good anyway. You've behaved. It looks as though you've not horrified her. You've shown her that you're not a threat. Remember, this is only chapter one; "walking, not running." There may or may not be a chapter two but accept what you are offered for the moment.)
"Thank you. God; that sounds so polite of me. Sorry; I must sound so middle class."
(OK. It looks as though you've got as far as you're going to get this time. I'd say the meeting is over. She hasn't told you to take a hike, which is something. She's been polite and not evasive. Even if she blows you out next time you get in touch, today's been great. Take what you can get and don't dwell on what may or may not happen from here.)
(You know you're not going to bed her but this has been almost as good. Who'd have thought that just talking could have been so, well, erotic? I have surprised even myself. Well done. Ten out of ten for behaviour. Anyway; I think there's been more than a spark throughout so take up that baton and walk her back to her car.)
(Right; you've got her to the car. Now what? Is anyone going to say anything? Keep it calm, remember. You've done well so far. Don't screw it up now but don't allow any uncomfortable silence to develop either. Stop. Watch. Wait. Hold it, hold it...)
"This has been lovely. Really. I had a great time and I'm glad you didn't cry off. You've been a real gentleman, Steve. Thank you for the lunch. I ought to get going, though."
(OK. This is it. Stay calm. Stay focussed. This shouldn't be a disappointment. She met you, didn't she? That was good. Very good, actually. Now, all you have to do is "close the deal".)
(Don't rush this; let her come to you. If she wants to, she'll... Mmmmm. Oh my. Is this going to be a polite peck? No - her mouth is open. Close in. Return. Hands on her waist. No further. Not this time. Don't grope her. Leave her under no illusions that you want her but show her that you're prepared to back off and let her control the pace.)
(Is that her tongue I can feel? Oh God; it is. That was unexpected. Right then; pull her to you. Don't f***e it but hold her against you. Oh, man. She tastes so fucking good.)
(Fuck. FUCK; an erection again. Geez; that's really uncomfortable in there. Can she feel that? She must be able to. Who cares now? Her hands are round you, too. That's good. VERY good. Embrace her. Not too tightly but let her experience how you're feeling. There's no way she can't feel my erection against her belly. I know she can but I really don't care any more. It doesn't matter now, anyway. I know that she feels safe, unthreatened. She can feel I want her but knows and trusts that I won't f***e anything. Fight your instincts and just enjoy the moment. This feels absolutely fantastic. She looks amazing, she's intelligent and fuck; she's a hell of a kisser. Remember; you'll have all the time you want in that drive home to run this one through your head again. And again.)