The phone rang loudly, disturbing the silence of his office. He sat in his cozy leather chair looking over today's newspaper. It was a nice, sunny day outside, yet he felt the morning chill creeping in through the open window. The phone rang again. He closed the newspaper and carefully laid it onto the coffee table. He stood up and walked over to the phone and waited for another ring. When the phone rang the third time, he snatched it up and brought it to his ear.
"Howard Stern speaking," he said calmly.
"Hey Howard, it's Mike!"
Howard recognized the cheerful voice right away. It was Howard's recruiter – the man who was responsible for getting people to appear on "The Howard Stern Show". Mike had a special task this time and it was taking longer than usual to find the willing participants.
"What's up Mike?" Howard asked.
"I've finally found enough participants!" announced Mike.
"Great," Howard said simply, trying to hide his delight.
"I tell you man, this was a difficult one. I know it took me longer that I promised, but I guarantee you – it was well worth it."
"Did you check their identities? Make sure they were all good? This is important."
"Of course! What do you take me for, an amateur? I have their birth certificates and I ran the background checks. This is as real as it gets. I'll fax those over to you right away."
"You're the best, Mike," Howard allowed himself a smile. "That's why you are my recruiter – always paying attention to details. It's settled then. Let's plan for this weekend. I'll get my crew and the studio ready." Howard opened his calendar a looked at it for a moment. "How does Saturday at four sound?"
"That works for me, Howard. I'll let the participants know."
"Make sure they are on time."
"I will," assured Mike. "Talk to you later, Howard."
Howard Stern hung up the phone and looked out of the open window, squinting. He walked closer to the window and breathed in the morning air. He wished he could remember where he put his sunglasses last night as the morning sun was already blazing bright. Saturday was three days from today and he began making plans on whom to call and what to prepare. He never really liked creating scripts for his shows, but he had a mind to make this show a little bit more interesting. A few moments later Howard Stern was enthusiastically calling up his loyal staff members to announce the show they would be shooting this Saturday.
On Saturday afternoon, Howard Stern entered his studio where he filmed all of his shows. He walked past a few members of the film crew that were already setting up the equipment. He proceeded over to his desk and checked his microphone. It was working well, as usual. Howard took out a stack of papers and looked over them – birth certificates, background checks, release agreements – everything looked to be in place. Then he opened up his notebooks and read over the script that he had prepared for himself. As he read, he marveled at his own brilliance.
Since this show had a very unusual topic, Howard decided to tell very few people about this shooting. It would be a small crew today – one guy to record the show, and two of his sidekicks: Robin Quivers and Gary Dell'Abate, also known as Baba Booey. Both of them were there for the other "It's Just Wrong" shows and Howard knew they would be comfortable with this one. He had warned his co-hosts ahead of time that this show would have a little twist to it.
The set-up crew departed after they finished preparing the video and sound equipment. The guy who would do the actual recording arrived shortly after. Howard trusted this guy – he had employed him for a very long time.
"There's the master himself!" sounded the cheerful voice of Robin Quivers as she walked into the studio with Gary Dell'Abate following in.
"Did you guys carpool here or something?" asked Howard looking up from his notebook.
"No, I found Gary on the corner of the building, trying to sell himself for sex," laughed Robin and Howard cracked a somber smile at Gary.
"Hey, a man needs to make a living and we all know that Howard doesn't pay us squat," said Gary as he walked over to his own desk and tapped his microphone with one finger.
"So Howard, another It's Just Wrong episode?" asked Robin raising one eyebrow.
"Yes. Mothers and sons this time," answered Howard nodding his head.
"Should be interesting," said Gary smiling broadly. "Have you met the contestants yet?"
"Not yet. They should be her at four. So I'm expecting them to show up soon," answered Howard.
"Sons stripping their own mothers," said Robin shaking her head. "There is nothing more wrong than that."
"I told you, Robin, this time there will be a twist," said Howard fixing Robin with a mischievous gaze.
"Howard, you dog!" laughed Robin "What do you have in mind? See if a mother will let her son squeeze her tits, like the b*****r and s****r show?"
"Robin, dear, I have a lot more in mind than that," replied Howard.
"Oh, I like this!" exclaimed Gary, grinning broadly. "I like this a lot!"
"You two are the dirtiest men I've ever met," laughed Robin.
"You know you like it," jested Gary.
They spent the next fifteen, or so, minutes making small talk. When Mike finally arrived he waked in through the side door alone.
Gary spotted him first. "Hey, Mikey!" he shouted across the room.
"Gary. Robin. Howard." Mike nodded to each person in turn. "How are you all this fine afternoon?"
"Good, my man," replied Howard. "You are right on time."
"You guys are going to love me. I found some real gems for your show," said Mike.
"I checked out the birth certificates," said Howard. "The all look real."
"Of course they are real!" exclaimed Mike. "I always do what you ask of me."
Howard couldn't argue – the man was reliable.
"Excellent, then we should start right away," declared Gary, unable to hide his excitement.
Howard shifted his microphone closer to his mouth and said: "Test. Test."
Everything seemed to be ready.
"Where are the contestants?" asked Howard.
"In the hallway, waiting for my signal," said Mike. "Should I let them in?"
"On my signal," said Howard. "Are you staying for the show, Mike?"
"I would absolutely love to but you know me – always busy. I've got a meeting with another client in half an hour. You know that show biz people do not like to wait. Plus, I'm sure I can get a copy of the recording from you later, right?"
"You know it. Take care, Mike, and we'll begin on three," spoke Howard as he put his studio headphones on.
On the count of three the cameraman began rolling and Howard Stern did a small greeting to his listeners as usual.
"Today, we have a really special show for you all. It's Just Wrong has been such a big hit, that we decided to do another episode. So, let's begin with It's Just Wrong: Mothers and Sons."
Howard Stern gave the signal and Mike let the six participants into the room. Three women and three young men walked into the studio room. They took up their positions facing the show. There was a standing microphone set up for each mother and son pair.
"We've got quite impressive looking participants today," announced Howard after everyone was in place. "How is everyone doing today?"
"Good Howard, thank you," answered one woman.
"It's a pleasure to be here," said another leaning enthusiastically into the microphone.
"Excellent," continued Howard. "Do you all know why you're here? Judging by the nods, it looks like you do. Good. Let's go ahead and have you introduce yourselves, starting from my left."
The very first person to introduce herself was an energetic woman who seemed to be in very high spirits. She was about 5'3" and wore a white t-shirt. The t-shirt was tight and barely came down to cover the woman's flat stomach. She wore a pair of short-cut denim shorts, which were pulled over a set of tanned, muscular legs. Her long hair was bleached bright blonde and pulled back into a ponytail. Her round, cute, cheerful face was sprinkled with barely visible freckles.
"Hi Howard!" said the woman eagerly. "My name is Jessica, but my friends call me Jessie. I'm 35 years old. This is my son, Joe. He is 18 and about to graduate from high school".
"Jessie, I've got to say you are quite the MILF," said Howard. "Joe, you are a lucky guy to have a mom like that."
Jessica smiled and her son, Joe, seemed to blush lightly. He stood next to his mother with his hands behind his back. He wasn't tall – perhaps half a head taller than his mom. He was a stocky young man, but not overly muscular. His dark blond hair was closely buzzed to his skull. He wore blue jeans and a plain white t-shirt. In fact, it seemed like the mother and the son planned to wear matching t-shirts, as if they wore a team uniform.
"Jessica what do you do?" asked Robin.
"Well..." Jessica paused for a second and glanced over at her son. "I'm not employed right now. I'm a..." she paused again. "Well, I was a house wife."
"Yes, well... you see I was married to a wealthy guy and he just recently kicked me out of the house. So, I'm not sure what to do," explained Jessica.
"Why did he kick you out?"
"My husband is... a really jealous man and he caught me making out with the pool boy. He got really pissed off and threw us out... and filed for divorce."
"Wait, wait. You banged the pool boy and your husband kicked you out?" asked Gary, his mouth hanging open.
"No!" exclaimed Jessica. "I didn't bang him. My husband is a lot older than me and he's always traveling on business, so I got a little adventurous. But all we did was kiss a little, me and the pool boy that is."
"Whoa! That's quite a story." Gary couldn't contain his amusement.
"And what about Joe?" asked Howard. "Did his father kick him out too?"
"He's not Joe's father and he never thought of him as his son. Joe never liked my husband, to be honest. We were both kicked out," explained Jessie.
"Where is Joe's father then?"
"Who knows," replied Jessie. "I had Joe when I was still in high school..." Jessie trailed off, leaving the obvious unspoken.
"So, you are homeless now, until the divorce settlement anyway. Then the old fart would wish he'd never divorced you, eh?" joked Gary.
Jessica's bright face seemed to darken for a moment. "I signed the prenup," she said.
"Ho ho! The prenup!" blurted Gary. "Ouch! That sucks."
"Pretty much," agreed Jessica. "Right now Joe and I are staying with a friend, but we really need to get out on our own."
"And that's why you're playing It's Just Wrong. If you win you get ten thousand dollars," reassured Howard.
Jessica's eyes lit up and she began nodding excitedly. He bright blonde pony tail bobbed around wildly.
"Okay. Let's move on. How about you two in the middle?" asked Howard.
"I'm Linda. I'm a 39 year old librarian and this is my son Brent," the woman said calmly. She was a tall woman, with a slim body. Her light brown hair hung down past her shoulders. Linda wore a summer dress with a s**ttered flower design. Next to her stood her son, who was a whole head taller than his mom, which put him over six feet tall. His long arms and legs made him look lanky.
"How old are you, Brent?" asked Howard.
Brent bent down to get closer to the microphone and said in a booming voice: "I'm 19, Howard."
"And what brings you guys here today?"
"My dad needs surgery," said Brent. "It's a very expensive procedure, so in order to get a loan we need to get enough for a down payment."
"That's a noble cause," chimed in Robin. "I wish you luck."
"Thank you," said Brent.
"Our last two contestants – can you introduce yourselves?" moved on Howard.
The third was an attractive brunette with pale skin. Her angular face was framed by straight, shiny black hair, which hung down to the top of her cleavage. She wore a dark green low cut shirt, which barely contained her large breasts and she kept yanking her shirt up. Her jeans sat tight on her curvy waist. She was of an average height, a little taller than Jessica.
Beside her stood, what appeared to be, a copy of his mom only with shorter hair and a boyish body. He was the same height as his mother. His dark black hair hung limp over his eyes and he would brush it out of the way from time to time. He wore a checkered button-up shirt with gray slacks. He looked very scrawny comparing to the other two boys.
"My name is Suzanne and this is Tommy. I'm a 36-year-old teacher and Tommy wants to become an engineer. Oh, and he's 18." Suzanne smiled shyly while Tom was studying his shoes.
"Welcome to the show Suzanne. Can we call you Suzy?" asked Howard.
"Of course," answered Suzanne, blushing.
"What's your story, Suzy?" asked Gary.
"While I said I was a teacher," began Suzanne, "I was recently laid off. I tried to find another job at other schools, but a lot of teachers are being laid off right now. Tommy works at a bookstore after school, but it's barely enough for groceries. Thus, we fell behind in mortgage payments. Now we need money or we'll lose the house."
"Ouch! I feel for you," said Robin. "It's tough times right now with the economy being in the dumpster. I can't believe even the teachers are feeling the squeeze."
"Sounds like you all are here for good reasons and could use the money," summarized Howard. "Like I said earlier, the grand prize is ten thousand dollars. I wish all of you good luck and may the best mother and son win. Now, I do believe that you all are familiar with how this works, but just to make sure that we are all on the same page, I'll explain it again. I will ask each son a general trivia question when it's his turn. If the son answers the question wrong, he has to take off a piece of his mother's clothing."
Howard paused and let his words sink in. Everyone seemed to be listening to him intently. He continued: "I'll ask the questions in the same order you introduced yourself, starting with Jessie on my left. The mother is allowed four pieces of clothing before she is completely nude. Preferably, it would be pants, shirt, bra and panties. Since Linda is wearing a dress, we'll allow her to count her shoes as a piece. Once the mother is fully nude then I'll ask her the questions. If she answers wrong, she will take off a piece of her son's clothing. The sons are allowed three pieces of clothing. Do you have any questions before we begin?"
"Wait, let me get this clear," said Robin. "If the mother is nude, then she has to answer questions and undress her son?"
"That's right," replied Howard. "The last team to be clothed is the winner and will walk out of here with the grand prize."
Howard waited for more questions, eyeing everyone in the room. Everyone looked ready.
"Okay, in that case, let's play It's Just Wrong!"
Howard Stern flipped through his notebook where the trivia questions and answers were carefully written out. He adjusted his glasses on his nose and addressed the first mother and son couple.
"The first question is to you Joe. Are you ready?"
"Ready as ever," answered Joe and squinted in concentration.
"What president was shot while walking to California Governor Jerry Brown's office?" asked Howard Stern.
Joe looked up at the ceiling and frowned.
After a few seconds of silence he said: "Howard, I believe it was, umm... JFK?"
A brief pause followed.
"Joe, JFK was shot while riding in a car in Dallas, not while walking around in California," said Howard dryly. "I'm sorry but that was the wrong answer. The right answer was President Gerald Ford."
Joe shook his head, like he should have known the answer.
"Okay Jessie, you know the rules. Joe gets to take off some of your clothes. What will it be?" asked Howard.
"My shirt," answered Jessica without a moment's hesitation.
"Go ahead Joe, take off your mother's shirt," prodded Gary with a grin.
Joe stepped up to his mom, who turned to face him. Jessica was smiling as she raised her hands above her head. Joe glanced over at the show hosts, then back to his mom. Slowly, he reached up, grabbed the bottom of her t-shirt and pulled it up. The shirt was pretty tight and didn't yield right away. As Joe pulled more roughly, the t-shirt yielded but got caught on Jessica's ponytail. It took them a moment to work it out. Once the shirt was off, they turned back to face the hosts.
Jessica was wearing a solid white bra, supporting a pair of good size breasts.
"Wow, Jessie! You've got some nice knockers," said Howard.
"Thank you," Jessie chirped, exposing her perfect white teeth.
"Do you mind if I ask you if those are real?" added Howard Stern.
"No," replied Jessica. "They are fake. I got them done about five years ago. At least, I got something out of the marriage."
There was a respectable silence as everyone enjoyed the view of the first losing contestant.
"Well, I have to say that I hope we get to see them tonight," chimed in Gary.
"Very considerate of you," retorted Robin.
"Joe, how did it feel taking off your own mother's shirt?" asked Howard.
"It was fine," Joe shrugged.
Howard studied Joe for a moment, noticing that Joe blushed slightly, but otherwise seemed well composed otherwise.
"What do you think about the fact that you might see your mom butt naked?" asked Gary.
"Well," hesitated Joe. "I think it will be pretty weird."
"I sure hope it will," laughed Robin.
Howard nodded thoughtfully and decided to move to the next pair of contestants.
"Okay. Next question is for Brent," said Howard, his face a mask. "Ready?"
"I am," nodded the tall boy confidently.
"Who was the last president of the soviet union?"
Without pausing, Brent leaned in closer to the microphone and said: "Howard, I believe it was Boris Yeltsin."
"Close, but no," Howard said. "It was Mikhail Gorbatchev."
"Of course!" exclaimed Brent and slapped his forehead. "I can't believe I got that wrong."
"Maybe next time, Brent," consoled Robin. "Linda, your son answered the question wrong. What shall he remove?"
"My shoes," answered Linda. Swiftly, Brent bent down to his knees and took his mother's sandals off.
"That was incredibly boring," yawned Gary.
"Linda, your dress would have to go next if Brent gets another question wrong," added Howard and Linda nodded. "Let's keep going. Tommy? It's your turn. The question is – by what name is the Roman Emperor Charles the Great more commonly known?"
Tom looked up from the floor and approached the microphone.
"Charlemagne," he said quietly.
Howard nodded looking down at his notebook. "That is correct! We have our first correct answer. Suzy, your clothes survive this round."
Suzanne smiled and looked proudly over at her son.
Howard Stern played a short clip of silly music and announced: "Round two. Back to Joe. Come on Joe, I know you can get this one."
Joe perked up at those words. His mother was standing next to him, her hands behind her back, proudly sticking out her bra clad chest.
"What modern vehicle was invented to circumvent the trench warfare?" Howard read the question and looked up.
Joe looked around, almost not believing that he knew the answer to the question.
"I think it was the tank, Howard," he said.
"The tank," Howard agreed. "Good job, Joe. You got it right."
Jessica began clapping.
"Jessie, are you relieved to keep your clothes on?" asked Robin.
"Yes and I'm happy we got one right," Jessica replied.
"I'm not happy," said Gary making a sad face and looking over at Jessica.
"He can't help himself," laughed Robin.
"Okay, okay," interjected Howard. "Next one is for Brent. What trade was Greek philosopher Socrates trained for?" read off Howard.
"Uff, let's see... since he was a philosopher, I think it must have been writing, so he must have been trained as a scribe." Brent seemed to be thinking out loud. He felt silent and frowned over the answer for a few moments.
"What is your answer?" asked Gary impatiently.
Brent breathed in deeply and said: "Socrates was trained to be a scribe."
Howards watched Brent for a second and then glanced down at his notebook to double-check the answer.
"Sorry Brent," Howard finally spoke, "Socrates was trained for stone cutting."
Brent dropped his head and shook it in disappointment.
"That was a tough question," said Garry. "I was guessing scribe myself."
"I'm sure you were," said Robin raising her eyebrows at Gary. "You probably have never even heard of Socrates."
"I have too," defended Gary. "He was some Roman guy or something like that."
"Oh, Gary. I hope Howard never puts you up on stage with your mom," teased Robin.
"I'm sorry Brent," said Howard. "You have to remove your mom's dress."
Linda looked disappointed and a bit scared. She rigidly turned to face Brent and loosened the ties on her dress. She closed her eyes as Brent gently grabbed the shoulder straps and pulled them off of her shoulders. The dress loosely fell around her waist, exposing a light gray bra that covered her small breasts. Next Brent tugged on the dress and it dropped at his mother's feet. She stepped out of her dress and now was only clad in a bra and a pair of matching panties. She turned back to the hosts and tried to look calm.
"Very nice, Linda," said Howard. "May I say that you've got quite the body?"
"Sexy legs, Linda," added Gary. "Way to go, mom!"
Joe and Jessica both looked over at Linda and nodded in unison.
Brent stood beside his mom, unshaken by those words like a soldier.
Howard cleared his throat, eager to ask the next trivia question. He had taken a liking to Suzanne and wanted to see what she hid behind that shirt of hers. He picked out one of the more difficult questions and read it off to Tommy.
It was clear that Tommy didn't know the correct answer and Howard smirked when Tommy answered wrong.
Suzanne pales face, turned deep red for a moment, when Howard read off the correct answer.
"What will it be, Suzy?" asked Gary shifting forward in his seat.
After a moment of pondering Suzanne decided to part with her shirt.
Awkwardly, Tom managed to pull his mom's shirt off while looking down at the floor the whole time.
"Wow, that is nice!" blurted out Gary, when Suzanne turned to face him. Underneath her shirt, Suzanne was wearing a black, lacy bra. Her large, pale breasts were bulging out of the top, creating a spectacular cleavage.
"Nice indeed!" agreed Howard, losing his cool for a moment. "Suzy, what size are your breasts, if you don't mind me asking?"
"Double D," replied Suzanne, nervously rubbing the sides of her hips.
"Are they real?"
"Yes. One hundred percent real," Suzy giggled.
There was a brief silence as Howard, Gary and even Joe, drank in the sight of Suzanne's cleavage.
"Very impressive. I like your bra, good choice of colors," said Robin, trying to compliment Suzanne on something other than what the men were drooling over.
"Okay," breathed out Howard when he thought he'd stared at Suzanne's cleavage long enough. "Let's move on then. Joe, your question is – what country started the Christmas tradition of exchanging gifts?"
Joe made another display of thinking about the question.
"Howard, I think... since the English were the ones that colonized America, I'm going to guess it was England," answered Joe. Jessie smiled and rocked on her feet as if she approved the answer.
"Ooh, close. But wrong. It was Italy, Joe. The Romans were the first to start the gift exchanging tradition," said Howard Stern.
"Shucks!" said Jessica and quickly added: "Joe can take off my shorts."
Howard peeked over his glasses as he watched Joe and his mom face each other. Joe seemed to be more relaxed this time, though he paused to wait for permission from his mother.
"Go ahead, Joe," said Jessica and Joe began unbuttoning her denim shorts. As the zipper slowly slid down, the whole room fell quiet to watch this boy de-pants his own mother.
Once the zipper was down, Joe tried pulling the shorts down, but they seemed to be well lodged on Jessie's hips. Howard wondered what kind of underwear this mother chose to wear for a day like this. He couldn't see what Joe was looking at, since their sides were turned to him.
Joe tried yanking down on the jeans, but they wouldn't come off.
"Like this, Joe," said Jessica and tried to show her son how to pull on her shorts.
"Hey, no helping!" exclaimed Gary, his mouth open in excitement. "Joe has to take them off all by himself."
"I was just trying to show him," explained Jessica. "Joe, pull on one side, then the other."
Joe followed his mom's instructions and her shorts began sliding down her hips, and soon Jessica's pink thong came into view. Once the shorts were off, Jessie kicked them to the side.
"Do you like what you see, Joe?" asked Gary.
"Err, emm... I guess. I mean... whatever," Joe faltered with words.
"Jessica, that is a very nice thong you are wearing," complimented Howard.
"Thank you!" said Jessie c***dishly.
"I meant to ask you," added Howard, "You have some muscular legs. In fact, your whole body is really toned. Do you play a sport or exercise?" asked Howard.
"Yes. I have a lot of free time, so I go to the gym a lot," replied Jessica. "I just love the stair master! All the muscly guys there are also nice to look at."
"I hear you," said Gary nodding his head. "I go to the gym just so I can stare at the girls like you."
Jessica giggled and even Joe smiled.
"Joe, what do you think about standing next to your mother who is barely clothed?" asked Howard.
Joe shrugged. "Nothing. It's like she's wearing a bikini," he explained.
"Good answer. Let's hope you can do well on your trivia questions, otherwise she won't be wearing that bikini for much longer," teased Robin.
Howard moved on to Brent and Linda and hoped to see some actual nudity. Indeed, he stumped Brent with the next question and Linda would either have to take off her bra or her panties. Naturally, she chose her bra.
Gallantly, Brent unsnapped his mom's brazier and she let it fall to the floor. Linda tried to cover herself on instinct, but Howard reminded her that it was not acceptable if she wanted to keep competing for the money. Brent didn't even bat an eyelash towards his mother's chest. Her perky little breasts hung slightly down. Her nipples were dark and hard.
"Linda, how do you feel?" asked Robin. "You're the first mom to be topless."
"To be honest, I feel a bit awkward," said Linda and swallowed. "Let's just keep playing."
"Good call," said Howard tearing his eyes away from exposed breasts. "Tommy, here's your question."
Tom got the answer right and Suzanne seemed to be getting a bit more relaxed. She even joked about how her breasts were popping out of her bra. She also opened up a bit and told about how Tommy's father died when he was just a boy, and how she raised her son by herself.
After a brief conversation, Howard was eager to get back to asking questions. Seeing Linda's breasts was good, but bigger things were yet to be seen.
Not surprisingly, Joe got the answer wrong. Jessica looked disappointed for about a second.
"Take off my bra," she said readily, turning to her son. Of all the moms, Jessica seemed to be the most cheerful and open about this game. It was almost as if she wanted to show her tits off. Howard didn't mind.
Jessica wore the kind of bra that unsnapped at the front, and once again she had to talk her son through unclasping it. When her bra fell to the floor, Jessica's nice, tanned, fake tits sprung out. As she swiveled to face Howard, her tits barely moved.
"Jessie, I will say that you've got some great fake breasts," said Howard, eyeing the woman's pink nipples.
"Wow! Do you tan in the nude?" blurted out Gary.
"Yes. I tan at the gym. They have private tanning booths there, so I tan everything," she giggled.
"Everything?" asked Gary, raising his eyebrows in surprise. "Even down there?"
"Yes, even down there!"
"Oh man, I hope Joe gets the next question wrong," said Gary.
Howard was studying Joe and saw that he kept glancing over at his mom with the corner of his eyes.
"Joe, what are you thinking about right now?" asked Howard.
"Umm... not much," replied Joe.
"Are you thinking about the fact that you are standing next to your topless mother?" Howard prodded.
"Not really," replied Joe, turning red. He was clearly getting embarrassed.
"Have you ever seen your mom naked before?"
"I... don't remember... maybe when I was little, or something," Joe stammered.
Jessica turned her head and looked at her son, enjoying his embarrassment.
"Have you ever seen fake tits?" Gary played along with Howard.
"Eh, no. I don't think so."
"Well Joe, your mom's got some killer fake tits," continued Gary. "I'll be honest, they are the best fakies I've ever seen; just the right shape and size. Now is your chance to have a look, man."
Joe's face turned a deeper red shade.
"Stop embarrassing the boy," interfered Robin.
"Sorry, I was just trying to help out," replied Gary.
Howard tried to hide his smile and decided that Joe had enough. "What size are they?" he asked addressing the mother instead.
"They are a D-cup," Jessica replied. She brought her hands up under her tits and lifted them as if weighing them. When she released, her firm breasts jiggled slightly.
"I'm sure you get a lot of attention from men," said Howard.
"You can say that," said Jessica confidently.
"Do you ever catch any of Joe's friends checking you out?"
"All the time! Especially when they used to come over to use the pool."
"Did that make you uncomfortable?"
"Not at all. Let them look if they want."
Jessica was clearly enjoying herself. She seemed the kind of person to constantly want attention. Howard made a mental note of that.
"Jessie, if Joe gets the next question wrong, you'll be fully nude and you will be the one answering the questions," said Howard deciding to move on.
"Let's hope he gets the next one," said Jessie crossing her fingers.
"So far we have two of the mothers topless and Suzanne still has three pieces of clothing left. Those are pretty good odds for Suzanne and Tommy." Howard looked down at his notebook and picked out a question.
"Next one is for Brent," he continued.
Brent finally answered a question right and he seemed to be relieved a bit, since his frustration was building up with each wrong answer. However, Tom got his question wrong. To everyone's surprise and excitement, Suzanne decided to have Tom take her bra off next.
"It's really constricting and tight. I'd rather take it off now, that way I'm more comfortable," she explained. Nobody argued.
Tom had to reach around his mother's back to unsnap her bra. He awkwardly reached around Suzy trying to not press up against her. That proved impossible with her big bust. Tom shut his eyes as his mom's chest bumped into him as he frantically tried to undo her bra. Clearly, he didn't know what he was doing and it took him a good minute to figure out how the clasp operated. Gary kept joking that Tom is purposefully taking his time, while Suzy just stood there staring at her shy son, her big boobs squishing against his chest.
When Tom finally pulled away from his mom, bra clutched in one hand, he looked very pale. He looked down at the bra in his hand and dropped it like it was a hot potato. That was the last thing Howard noticed before he feasted his eyes on Suzanne's amazing boobs.
"Phew, that's much better!" said Suzy turning to face Howard and his sidekicks. She shifted nervously when nobody said anything. Her boobs gently swayed as she moved. Men and women alike were staring at her, silent and solemn as if in the presence of something majestic.
Indeed, Suzanne's breasts were breathtaking –large and full, her tits were accentuated by her freakishly pale skin. They had a round, slightly elongated shape and hung just past her rib cage. Her puffy nipples crowned the tips of her full melons and seemed to move with each breath that Suzanne took.
"Suzy, you have been gifted with a very impressive set of breasts," Robin spoke first. "I say this as a woman. To tell you the truth, I am jealous."
"Thank you," said Suzanne quietly.
"Wow! Suzanne. Just wow!" Howard finally came out of his daydream. "Those are wonderful."
"Thank you," Suzy said again, her pale face taking on a red tint.
"I'm lost for words," said Gary. "Best natural tits I've ever seen. Hands down!"
Suzanne wasn't a slim woman; she was rather curvy, with wide shoulders and wide hips – a perfect build to accommodate such a rack.
"Do you have a boyfriend, Suzy?" asked Gary.
"No, not at the moment," Suzanne's face was recovering its normal pale shade.
"Well, I'm sure Gary would be willing to take you out to dinner after the show," joked Robin.
"That's very considerate, but I think I'll pass," smiled Suzanne.
"Aww, shucks!" said Gary, pretending to be upset.
Now that they've seen all of the breasts, Howard couldn't wait to get to see the rest.
It was Joe's turn and, once again, his answer was wrong.
"Joe, do you get good grades at school?" Howard asked after he read off the correct answer.
"Err... not really, but I play football, so the teachers let me pass."
"What position do you play?"
"I'm the full-back."
"How is your team doing this year?"
"We won for games and lost two, so far this year."
"That's pretty good, I suppose," said Howard and addressed Jessica: "Looks like you are going to have to lose that pretty pink thong. Are you ready to be fully nude in front of your son?"
Jessica looked around the room and nodded.
"Ooh, that's wrong! Just wrong!" taunted Gary.
Jessica stood with her hands behind her back, sticking her chest out even further, as it to remind everyone that Suzanne's tits weren't the only tits in this room. She was smiling as if they were winning, instead of losing.
"Well, Joe. Go ahead and take off your mom's cute pink thong," said Howard with a smirk.
Jessica turned and faced her son. Joe threw a glance at Howard, then turned and looked down at his mom's crotch. He seemed hesitant, but stepped up closer to his mom. Joe brought his hands up and placed them on Jessica's hips. Hooking his fingers into the thong he paused.
Everyone was quietly watching as Joe began pulling the thong down. The thong slid down slow, almost too slow. Joe was either scared, or he wanted to see his mom's pussy for as long as he could.
Inch by inch, Jessica's crotch grew exposed. Howard couldn't see, but he judged this was about when Jessica's slit would come into view. Howard watched Joe's face. The boy looked straight ahead, at the thong, his eyes unblinking. The thong was sliding down Jessica's legs now. It was past her knees. Finally, it was all the way off.
When Jessica and Joe turned back, Joe's face looked flustered.
"As well it should," thought Howard. "He just got an eye full of his mom's bare pussy."
Indeed, Jessica's pussy was completely hairless – either shaven or waxed. There was a slight gap where her muscular thighs met at her crotch. Her front slit was barely visible between her legs.
"How do you feel, Jessie?" asked Howard, enjoying the sight of this sexy mom.
"I feel... a little strange," replied Jessie. She was smiling as always. The fact that she was wearing nothing but a pair of tennis shoes didn't seem to bother her in the least bit.
"A little?" asked Robin dismayed.
"It's like being in the locker room at the gym," said Jessie.
"But there are men here," Robin insisted.
"Well, it's a little weird."
"Does it bother you that your son is seeing you like this?"
Jessica shrugged. "He's my son. That should be even less weird, right?"
"It depends how you look at it," said Robin and leaned back into her chair.
"Jessica, it's obvious you are very comfortable with your body," said Gary, "and you feel fine being naked in front of others."
"That's right," Jessica agreed.
"Are you a nudist?" asked Howard.
"No..." Jessica's face grew concerned for a moment. "At least, I don't think so."
"I can see now that you do tan everything," said Gary and winked at Jessica.
"I told you!" she exclaimed happily.
"Joe, I couldn't help but notice that you took a while to pull your mom's thong off. What was going through your head as you were doing that?" asked Howard wanting to torment Joe some more.
"He was thinking: Don't look! Don't look!" answered Gary for the boy.
A couple of people laughed out loud and Joe began blushing again.
"So Joe, did you look?" pressed Howard.
"Well... I saw... I mean... I didn't look," stumbled Joe.
"You saw her pussy then?" Howard wanted to clarify.
"Well, I didn't look, but it was there," shrugged Joe.
"Hey Joe, if she was my mom, I'd look too," admitted Gary.
"Your mom is a hot fox," agreed Howard.
"You guys are all sick!" said Robin. "This is wrong! Just wrong!"
Gary and Jessica began laughing, while Joe blushed in silence.
"Alright, let's move on," said Howard. "We still have a lot of questions to go through. Brent, here's one for you."
Howard asked Brent a question, which he answered correctly. Brent seemed to be quite smarter than Joe.
Next, Howard looked though the questions to pick something tougher for Tommy this time.
"Which three countries hosted the Winter Olympics during the 1990's?" he asked.
Tommy perked up and was visibly distressed by the question.
"Let's see. There was Nagano in Japan... Liljehammer in Norway... and... the other one was in... Canada? Ah, I'm not sure on the third one. I guess I'll go with Canada," answered Tommy, wavering.
"Wrong. It was Albertville, France," said Howard. "Sorry Tom, you were close, but close isn't good enough. What should your son take off, Suzy?"
"The jeans," answered Suzanne taking a deep breath.
Suzanne and her tits slowly turned to face her son, who was once again exploring the surface of the floor. Tommy didn't seem willing to move at all, so Suzanne leaned in and said something in his ear, her tits swaying gently forward. Tommy took a deep breath and looked at his mom's feet. He bent down and took off her shoes and socks. Then slowly raised up, keeping his eyes carefully averted down. Swiftly, he began unbuttoning his mom's jeans and zipped them down. Then he began trying to pull them down. It proved a bit of work to try and slide the jeans off of Suzanne's curvaceous hips.
After some fussing around, Suzanne's jeans came off and she was wearing only a pair of black, lacy underwear. Tommy stood up and, perhaps, for the first time looked at his mom. Howard noticed a moment of surprise or panic as Tommy's eyes grew big at that moment. Howard wondered if it was the first time the boy saw real tits. Has it ever crossed the boy's mind that his mom had such an awesome rack?
Quickly Tommy recovered from his shock. He picked up his mom's jeans, folded them neatly and placed them to the side.
"Those are very nice panties," noticed Robin when Suzanne and Tommy resumed standing side by side.
"Thank you. I wore my best for the show," replied Suzanne.
"You wore sexy lingerie to show it off in front of your son?" inquired Gary.
"No! Not like that. I wasn't sure what to wear, but I figured I might as well wear something nice," stammered Suzanne. "It wasn't that I dressed up for anyone in particular... but you know... just wanted to look my best..."
"Oh, don't listen to Gary," said Robin. "He's always playing the devil's advocate."
Suzanne shyly smiled.
"I noticed that you said something to your son, before he took your pants off. What did you say?" asked Howard.
"Oh, I just gave him a little word of encouragement. Tommy is pretty shy."
"A little motherly comfort?" asked Howard.
"You can say that."
"Tommy what did you think when you were pulling off your own mother's pants?" interrogated Gary.
Tom just shrugged and didn't say anything, casting his eyes down.
Howard realized teasing Tom wasn't going to be as fun.
"Moving on," he announced. "It's Jessica turn now. Since you are already naked it is your turn to answer questions. If you get it wrong, you'll have to undress your son. Are you ready?"
"Ready!" chirped Jessie, rocking back and forth on her heels.
Howard tried to pick something easy for Jessica.
"What number must a year be divisible by to qualify as a leap year?" he asked.
"Divisible?" asked Jessica. Her smile disappeared and she looked perplex. "I don't know, ten?"
Howard suddenly realized who Joe got his smarts from.
"No, Jessie. It must be divisible by four," stated Howard.
"Oh right, four. I guess I knew that. Oh well, sorry Joe," she said. She turned to face her son. "What do you want me to take off?"
"My shirt, I guess."
Jessica snatched up Joe's shirt and pulled it off. Joe's bare skin had a pink shade, unlike his mother's tanned bronze.
"Jessie, if you answer two more questions wrong, you and Joe will be out," announced Howard. He decided to pick easier questions for her, while giving the rest of the contestants more difficult ones.
"Brent, your question is... Tom Hanks won Best Actor Oscars two years in a row, 1993 and 1994, for his roles in what two films?"
"I know this one," replied Brent calmly. "It was Philadelphia and Forrest Gump. Tom Hanks is one of my favorite actors."
"Good for you and your mom. You got the answer right."
Howard Stern felt a little disappointed, because Brent seemed to be answering correctly all of a sudden. He sure hoped they would get to see Linda lose those panties sooner or later.
"Tommy, do you know the answer to this? The story of the birth of Jesus Christ is recorded in which book of the bible?" asked Howard.
Tommy took a moment to think and shifted his gaze from to floor to the ceiling. He looked down and shook his head from time to time.
"The New Testament," he finally answered.
"No, it was the book of Matthew," said Howard not wanting to let Tommy answer more specific. "Your answer is wrong. Your mom must now lose her panties."
Tom quickly dropped his gaze and froze.
"Come on Tommy. It's not a big deal, just be quick," encouraged Suzanne.
Reluctantly Tommy turned towards her. With unsteady hands, he reached out and gently grabbed his mom by the hips. He didn't know where to look so he looked Suzanne in the eyes. She smiled warmly at him and nodded. His fingers found her panties and he began pulling them down. He turned his head aside as he bent down and let his mother step out of the panties. Then both of them turned to face the radio show hosts.
Howard eyed Suzanne's body. Seeing all of these nude women was making him aroused – first, Jessica with her bald snatch and now Suzanne with her curvy hips. There was a dark strip of hair between Suzanne's legs.
"Nice landing strip!" exclaimed Gary.
"Thank you," Suzanne said, he voice quivering. She held her hands by her sides, nervously drumming he fingers at her thighs.
"Do you trim it?" Gary asked.
"You have an incredible body," added Robin. "Very womanly."
"Do you feel uncomfortable?" asked Robin.
"A little," admitted Suzanne. "I feel pretty exposed right now."
"Right you are!" exclaimed Gary. He was clearly getting very excited.
Tommy seemed to shrink at such a conversation between the adults.
"How did it feel having your son take off your underwear?" asked Howard.
"It was very odd, Howard."
"Did you feel like it was sexual?" asked Gary.
"No!" said Suzy suddenly raising her voice. "Not at all!"
Gary caught a stern eye from Robin and leaned away from his microphone.
"Okay," Howard decided to move on, "It will be Suzanne's turn to answer the questions next, since she has no more clothes. Jessie, I hope you're ready for this one."
Howard carefully picked out a simple question. "Which comic book super hero operated in Gotham City?"
"Superman!" proclaimed Jessica without a second of thought.
"No, mom! It's batman!" exclaimed Joe as soon as he heard his mom's answer. "How can you not know that?"
"You know I don't like your comics," said Jessica.
"What about the movie? We've watched it together."
"Oh, yeah! Well, I don't remember what city that was."
"Sorry Jessie. The right answer was Batman," said Howard breaking up the little feud between mother and son.
Jessica rolled her eyes and turned to her son. "Jeans?"
"Eh..." hesitated Joe. "I guess."
Quickly, almost expertly Jessica unbuttoned Joe's jeans and zipped him down. His jeans were loose and they effortlessly fell down around his ankles. Joe was wearing a pair of blue boxers and there was a sizable tent formed in the front.
Jessica didn't seem to notice, but Gary did.
"Hello, Joe!" Gary said. "Looks like you are really enjoying this."
Joe's face practically turned purple as everyone's attention turned to him and his crotch.
"Whoops!" exclaimed Jessica, giggling. "That must be embarrassing."
"Did seeing your mom naked get you this excited, Joe?" asked Howard.
"No!" Joe blurted out. "Her? No." He made a face as if it was a known fact. "It's just... it's Suzanne," he explained.
"Riiiight!" said Gary with a smirk. "I see you glancing over at your mom, Joe. Are you sure?"
"Yes, of course. It's Suzanne." Joe began nodding.
Jessica looked over at him, then looked at Suzanne and frowned as if she was annoyed.
"Okay, enough picking on Joe. Let's see if Brent can answer the next question," said Howard and licked his finger. He flipped through the pages and looked for a difficult question. "Here's one – the residents of which city of the world call themselves Cariocas?"
Brent frowned and took some time. Finally he stepped up to the microphone and said: "I'm really not sure on this one, but I'm going to go with Cairo."
"No Brent, it's Rio," said Howard.
Brent shook his head.
"Linda, you survived for quite a few rounds, but it looks like you'll have to part with your panties," announced Howard.
Linda nodded somberly. Brent stepped up behind her and quickly pulled her panties down from behind, keeping his head to the side, looking straight ahead.
The way Brent took his mother's panties off seemed to take all the fun out of it. Brent didn't glance at his mother even once. Linda was now also completely nude and she had a nice dark patch of hair covering her mound. Her nipples seemed to get harder.
"Cold, Linda?" asked Howard.
"A little," said Linda in a tone that meant she didn't want to talk about this any further.
Howard decided that these two were a tough pair and moved on to the next mother and son couple.
It was Suzanne's turn to answer, so Howard picked an especially difficult question since she was a teacher. Suzanne answered wrong, which meant she had to undress her son. Everyone in the studio watched Suzanne unbutton Tommy's shirt and take it off of him. Her breasts were jiggling with her every movement. Tommy's eyes kept shifting all over the room, unable to find a comfortable spot. Once Tommy's shirt was gone and his pale torso was exposed, he shuddered as if from a chill. His slacks looked funny pulled up high on his scrawny waist.
"Tommy, how are you feeling?" asked Gary.
"Fine," replied Tommy quietly.
"Cheer up, dude. You still have a chance to win," said Gary. Howard was glad that Gary was trying to cheer the young man on instead of giving him a hard time.
"Come on, what do you say? Do you have faith in your mom?"
"I can't hear you!"
"Yes," said Tommy.
"Look up and smile!" exclaimed Gary. Too happy that Tommy's mom was completely naked.
Tommy f***ed a smile.
"There you go. Look, if your mom's brains are as big as her tits, then you have nothing to worry about."
Tom immediately hung his head.
Robin shot Gary another stern glance.
"What? I'm just trying to cheer him up," explained Gary.
"Let's keep going," said Howard. "It's Jessica's turn again. This could be your last question, Jessie. Are you ready?"
Howard looked through the questions in his notebook, but didn't find anything easy enough for Jessica.
"How many terms did bill Clinton serve as president of the US?" Howard made the question up.
"Let's see..." said Jessie thoughtfully, her mouth moving as if she was calculating something. "Two terms?"
"Good job, Jessie. Your answer is correct!" congratulated Howard. "Joe, you get to keep your underpants on."
Joe perked up at the fact that his mother got one question right.
"Sweet! Way to go mom," he said. He smiled and glanced at his mom.
Jessica looked down at her son's boxers and the protruding mound there.
"God Joe, you're really excited, aren't you?" she said giggling. "Can't you control yourself?"
"It's not my fault that Suzanne has such huge boobs," retorted Joe.
"Don't look at them then," said Jessica.
Howard noticed that Jessica looked a bit annoyed. It was obvious she was used to be the center of attention and she didn't like that Suzanne was getting most of the compliments, even from her own son.
Howard Stern proceeded to ask Linda a trivia question. This time he picked out another difficult one. To his dismay she answered it correctly. Linda and Brent have been proving to be the smartest of the competitors. However, his dismay was short lived when Suzanne answered her question wrong.
"Tommy, what are you going to let your mom take off?" asked Howard.
"My pants," said Tom gloomily.
"Suzy, you heard the man, take his pants off."
Suzanne hesitantly stepped up to her son and gave him an inquiring glance. After a brief moment, she began fumbling with his belt and couldn't quite unbuckle it.
"Come on, mom. Hurry up!" said Tom, sounding frustrated and finally finding some courage to talk louder than a whisper.
"I'm trying! And besides, young man, that is no way to talk to your mother," replied Suzanne.
"Especially, when your mother is completely nude in front of you," added Gary.
"This stupid belt won't come undone." Suzanne struggled with her son's belt, her boobs swinging around with each jerky movement.
"Oh, here we go!" She finally undid the belt and zipped down the zipper. She squatted down and pulled Tom's pants off of him. As she was squatting, Howard could see her shapely ass facing him.
Suzanne stood up and threw Tommy's pants behind her, eyeing his skinny body.
"Why are you wearing those?" she asked pointing at Tommy's whitey-tighteys.
Tommy was standing, crossing his arms in front of him trying to cover his man junk, bunched up tightly in his briefs.
"I don't know. What else would I wear?" he responded hurtfully.
"I bought you some nice boxer shorts. Wear those."
"I don't like the way they feel. Leave me alone," answered Tommy facing Howard again.
"Just saying, you could have worn something nicer," added Suzanne.
Tommy was a pitiful sight – skinny, hairless body, black, limp hair covering his eyes and white briefs supporting his package.
"Tom! Rules are rules, man. You can't be covering yourself up," said Howard and Tommy reluctantly dropped his hands to his sides. It looked like there was something large hidden behind that thin, white fabric. Howard couldn't wait to find out what, and he couldn't wait to see the reaction on Suzanne's face when she saw it too.
"Jessica and Suzanne, if any of you answer wrong one more time, you lose. So you need to think hard and hope that Linda answers wrong," said Howard.
"Come on, Linda. Slip up!" cheered Jessie.
Linda just shot Jessica a glance that said "you wish".
Howard Stern quickly made up another question that he figured Jessica might be able to answer. But he wasn't too surprised when she got it wrong.
"Well, Jessie. That's it for you and Joe. Go ahead and take your son's boxers off," announced Howard.
Jessica's smile faded and she looked sad for the first time. She turned to Joe, bent down, grabbed his boxers by the sides and yanked them down. Joe's cock sprung up and did a little dance. His cock looked to be six inches in length, trimmed pubic hair and circumcised.
"Joe! Contain yourself!" laughed Jessica jerking her head the other way in dismay when she caught sight of her son's stiff pecker. Her smile returned as the tossed Joe's underwear behind her.
"Sorry," mumbled Joe, hanging his head.
"Wow Joe! Your little guy sure is happy. I wonder why?" declared Gary and then added: "I know, I know. I'll shut up."
Jessica faced Howard and asked: "So, this is it?"
"Well, you still have to stay till the end of the game. I'll tell you what, I'll have a bonus game at the end and give you a chance to walk out of here with some money," answered Howard.
"Awesome!" exclaimed Jessica and playfully smacked her son's ass. Joe winced and his erect cock jiggled.
"Mom!" exclaimed Joe. "What was that for?"
"Oh relax! We can still win some cash," Jessica was once again excited. He took another look at her son's erection and playfully rolled her eyes.
"Alright! Let's see if Suzanne can take on Linda," resumed Howard. "Linda, what year did the World War I start and end?"
After a short pause Linda said: "Started in 1912 and ended in 1918."
Howard had to double-check the answer.
"It did end in 1918, but it started in 1914. Linda, your answer is wrong."
With that Linda took off her son's shirt. She gave her son a knowing nod and turned back.
The spirit of competition seemed to intensify in the room – two articles of clothing on Brent and one on Tommy. When Suzanne got the next question right, even Tommy congratulated her.
Linda got her next question wrong and removed Brent's pants. He was wearing dark, striped boxers that looked funny on his tall body. Brent looked like he was getting frustrated at his mom for getting the questions wrong.
"It's down to the last piece of clothing, ladies and gentlemen," announced Howard. "Suzanne, here is your next question."
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