My situation

Someone had emailed me a question asking me if my wife knew about my desire for her to be with black men. I get that question a lot so I figured I would post the response that I sent to him. It pretty much explains where I'm at and my situation.

Yeah She has an idea. Years ago I actually convinced her to have sex with another man. I had never really thought about her having sex with a black man. We had two experiences before that where on one of my friends and I had sex with her (mfm) and had a lot of fun. She just happened to be attracted to a black guy at her work. I wasn't thrilled about him working with her but was willing to take what I could get. I convinced her to seduce him and he came to the house one night and she had sex with him. He had no idea but I watched them through the window. She began talking to him pretty regularly and started becoming emotionally attached to him. After they had sex a second time, with the same setup of me outside watching, Her feelings towards him grew stronger and she was talking to him a lot without me knowing. I became jealous and told her that I wanted it to stop. This made her very angry because all of the stuff that she had done with my friend and the guy at work was really out of character for her. She didn't want to do it but I pushed and pushed and finally convinced her to. Then she ended up enjoying it more than she ever thought that she would and I wanted her to stop all of it. We nearly got divorced over it and basically our marriage went through 6 months of hell. During which she swore that from then on we would have a "traditional" marriage and she would never do anything like that again. That was about 6 years ago and when it all started our marriage was pretty much on shaky ground to start with. Now she is on a somewhat "religious" kick.
As crazy as it seems I haven't stopped thinking about it for the past two years though. Now all I think about is her going black again. I only watch ir porn now. After seeing the big black guy from work her over like he did. I can't get it out of my mind and have basically been obessed with the thought of it. I hate myself for fucking it up. I would do anything to have that situation come up again. I have told her during sex and what not. I've bought her black dildos and an I love BBC thong but she isn't to crazy about it and will rarely get into it. Due to the circumstances it's a really touchy subject and I don't believe that there is any way that I could sit down and have a serious talk with her about it. Sorry that this was so long and drawn out.

70% (4/2)
Posted by pjr
3 years ago    Views: 700
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3 years ago
You hit the nail on the head Mike. He was a good guy to. Otherwise she never would have wanted to be with him in the first place. I have come to realize that I was trying to be to controlling of the situation. I was greedy and somewhat selfish to think that there wasn't going to be a relationship between them. I had put her in a situation where she was unable to communicate her feelings to me which in turn resulted in the problems that we came across. txfreaks is also right. I did blow it. I now realize that her having the freedom is one of the biggest turn ons of all. I grown a lot since then and hope that I haven't killed the possibility of it for good.
3 years ago
What you are describing seems pretty typical to me. There is a big difference between you fantasy and the reality. It is very common and to be expected that your wife would start having feelings for the man she is One attracted to and two having sex with. I mean really think of that for a sec.... If your wife is anything like mine she probably would not have sex with someone she had no feelings for. Your reaction to her developing feeling for her lover, sound like symptoms of another very common problem, and that is not fully communicating your feelings to your wife after her lover leaves, or a day later, or how ever long but soon after the act actually happens. Also disusing with your wife before the act what your expectations are and her telling you what her expectations are. Also please also remember you are inviting another person into your lives he is not a sex toy, he has feeling also.
3 years ago definitely messed that one up. but then again, i wouldnt want my wife having feelings for anyone but me.