A man breaks into a house to look for money and guns.
Inside, he finds couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair.
While tying the home owner's wife to the bed
The convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck,
Then gets up & goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife:
'Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes!
He's probably spent a lot of time in jail
And hasn't seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex,
Don't resist, don't what ever he tells you.
Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.
This guy is obviously very dangerous.
If he gets angry, he'll kill us both.
Be strong, honey. I love you!'

His wife responds: 'He wasn't kissing my neck.
He was whispering in my ear.
He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute,
And asked if we had any Vaseline.
I told him it was in the bathroom.
Be strong honey. I love you too.'

97% (22/1)
Categories: Sex Humor
Posted by papa61
4 years ago    Views: 1,137
Comments (10)
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16 days ago
LOL Thanks for the posting
3 years ago
3 years ago
3 years ago
that is fucking funny great job
4 years ago
good. loled
4 years ago
just so funny very cool :)
4 years ago
Hilarious, wish I could remember this one word for word.
4 years ago
4 years ago
heard it before but it still makes me laugh
4 years ago
Very good... lol