Some things I 'Do' Like

Cum drops on noses and stories well written
Sensual kisses will have me quite smitten
Hard bulging packages, fun with no strings
These are a few of my favourite things

Creamy filled pussies and tongues in my anus
Light hearted spanking as long as it's painless
Fun with my toy and the joy that it brings
These are a few of my favourite things

Girls in tight dresses with sexy eye lashes
But NO fakes or skinny rakes or vulgar pumped gashes
Beds with 4 posters and reinf***ed springs
These are a few of my favourite things

Concealed love bites......
Sexy playfights....
When I'm feeling BAAAAAAD
But if you're under 30, you're just not my thing-
I'd much rather meet.......your DAD!

100% (16/0)
Categories: Sex Humor
Posted by oh_so_horny
3 years ago    Views: 312
Comments (18)
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2 years ago
very funny! xxx love it...
2 years ago
That is one of the best things I have seen on Hamster it just puts everything into perspective .
2 years ago
I loved the song revised, sang it, and smiled a lot....the lightness and fun is infectious...I am like a dad to the 30 y.o. or perhaps even a grampa
2 years ago
I liked that a lot
2 years ago
Inspired, I tried this:

If you can give good head when all about you
Are losing moisture and spraying it on you;
If you can thrust so deep she moans and begs you,
But make allowance for her groaning too:
If you can wait and not be tired by frigging,
Or, being laid upon; deal in lays,
Or being fucked and giving way to fucking,
And fuck too good, in many different ways;

If you can fantasise---and make fantasy your master;
If you can cum---but make her cuming your aim,
If you can meet with Sex and Masturbation
And treat those two impostors just the same:
If you can hear endearing whispers spoken
By twisted sisters, with minds perverse and cool,
Or watch the things that you brought with you poked on,
the dildos, strap-ons and vibrating tools;

If you can leave her in a heap and grinning
After hours of fruitful screw and toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never tell her husband of his loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your woman until her will has gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk her out of saving virtue,
Play with her kinks---or use your common touch,
If loving friends can be allowed to hurt you,
Nibble, scratch, bite, kiss and suck:
If you can fill her up for 90 minute
With six or seven inches at a run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!

It needs work - in first draft - and something similar probably been done before; but I enjoyed the work.
2 years ago
Classic, I'd pay good money to hear Julie Andrews drop this at the opening ceremony of the Olympics. Take that cultural Olympiad.
3 years ago
So you're smart as well as sexy huh?
Does this mean I have to wear lederhosen to stand a chance with you?
3 years ago
Brilliant - Encore - Author Author!
3 years ago
A secret corner of hamster with some humour - careful not to be too revolutionary! You made me smile.
3 years ago
Very original. xx
3 years ago
it's nice to know that sensual kisses do make you quite smitten

3 years ago
Very clever x
3 years ago
Fucking hell! The most cock stiffening photos and a brain. You are definitely THE ONE. All others should bow in your presence xxx
3 years ago
All sounds very nice to me.......x
3 years ago
Ok...I'm an idiot and went off half-cocked.Even more credit to you though
3 years ago
Shame no middle eight (when the dog bites,when the bee stings etc) but a pretty good job nonetheless
3 years ago
I usually groan when people post poetry, but that is very well worked. X
3 years ago
Your ditty made me smile. You sound like fun. I enjoyed London big time when I was there in '96.