Ever hear that old rap song “It was a Good Day” by Ice Cube?
The song refers to that one inevitable day that every one has where everything goes “right”, you can’t make a mistake and you have the luck of the Irish.
Well, I recently had one of those days. It was probably one of the greatest days in my life.
For a little background on me (to put things in perspective) … I live and work in San Francisco. It’s a great city, but I have what is deemed bad karma. My friends tease me by calling me “Peter Parker” because I’m a little bit klutzy and always have some trouble with the ladies.
I work in the mail room at a prestigious law firm ( which I can’t name here for fear of being sued to death.) where I take a lot of shit off of various high end lawyers and executives. Chief among my workplace antagonists would be Debbie Manchellini. She was an executive assistant for one of the partners and she always seemed to be in a perpetually bad mood … “What does she look like?“ Just think of that old pop star Debbie Gibson (In her teens) with a seriously exaggerated coke bottle shape. From the waist up she looked like a normal sized woman with nice sized boobs, but from the waist down she was “abnormal” with her hips flaring noticeably outward so much that the long skirts she wore were stretched out to the max. Her face was narrow and youthful framed with a long lion’s mane of 80’s style curly blonde hair topped of with a bowed ponytail jutting out of the top of her head.
Debbie was in charge of the mailroom and some of the other departments and she ruled with an iron fist. Part of the reason she got away with it was because she was married to one of the partners.
Most of the low level workers called Debbie “Wide Load” and “Bell Bottom” … They snickered and whispered when she walked past. I on the other hand found myself starring intently at Debbie’s “wide load” more and more as the days progressed. I began to wonder what was under the extra long pleated skirts that she wore. Were her legs a mass of cottage cheese and varicose veins ? Did she posses the muscular horse-like legs of a thoroughbred ? Was her butt a messy shapeless form resembling chewed up and discarded gum or … did it resemble two shapely globes?
My curiosity had quietly turned me into a budding “Ass Man” , a new age R. Crumb of sorts.
I didn’t dare confide in any of my co-workers. I would have been heckled out of the building. My roommate Shaggy ( Hippie parents) thought it was funny and cool at the same time. He was a serious stoner who had a “Get in were you fit In” attitude when it came to women.
This was apparent based on the appearance of a few of Shaggy’s female stoner friends that hung out at our apartment on a regular basis. There was Bettie , an extremely skinny and petite asian art student that I’d had the misfortune of seeing nude once. I’d come home from the movies and entered my darkened apartment only to find Shaggy taking her anally as she perched on the sink like a gargoyle. Trust me, not something you wanna see.
Then there was Gloria, a extremely rotund and porous looking brunette who always seemed to be passed out on my living room floor. She was a Berkley grad student who had flamed out and was currently spinning around the academic drain. She was nice enough when she wasn’t disoriented from what seemed to be a perpetual high. You might ask why a seemingly clean cut guy like myself put up with Shaggy and his associate squatters. Well, the answer is simple.
Claudia Escobar, Shaggy’s long time best friend and a constant object of continual lust for me. She had been employed at the firm for a year longer than me when Shaggy had suggested that she help a newly arrived me get a “9 to 5” and “conform”.
(Note: Shaggy’s parents sent him a monthly stipend in thousands of dollars. Shaggy was a trust fund Baby.).
Claudia was this really cool Columbian chick that was working in the paralegal department. She had long silky looking raven colored tresses that hung to her shoulders and a uncommonly beautiful face. She was probably about five four and seemed to have an athletic build. (She always seemed to be wearing business suits, so I couldn’t tell exactly how she was built.). She wore a large pair of black horn rimmed glasses that accentuated her hazel colored eyes. I was really into Claudia and even the sound of her slightly accented voice was enough to give me a raging boner.
When I first started going to work at the firm, we would ride the train together. I was always on my game with a pithy comment or some new joke to amuse Claudia. To my credit, she though I was the funniest thing since sliced bread. I kinda figured I was halfway to getting in her undies when she laughed and gave me playful little punches on my arm when I flirted.
The only problem was that Claudia was dating this asshole named Ricardo.
This dude was a chunky, angry looking dick that was completely toxic to Claudia. She had confided in me about the many times he had cheated on her and embarrassed her in public. After sharing a few rides with me on the train, Claudia even admitted that he had totaled her BMW one night in a d***ken binge. Her beautiful eyes would go to this distant far away place when she talked about Ricardo. She said that she knew she should dump the bastard …
But, she also said she loved him.
And that was it for me. Too many times had I been the “friend “ to some hot, unattainable chick. So, I just sucked it up and kept my lust to myself, content just to be in her circle.
We’d even started walking arm-in-arm on occasion, separating only when we got to the firm. Gossip was rampant in the workplace and spread with the speed of a forest fire. I certainly didn’t care if I was orally linked to Claudia, but she was working on a legal career with hopes of becoming a lawyer some day.
I always let her have the first crowded elevator, waiting for the second and waving at her as the doors closed. Then I skulked off to my waiting misery in the mail room. Debbie had been running the mail room ragged for the last couple of weeks and issuing mandatory overtime, so I hadn’t been enjoying Claudia’s company as of late. It was Thursday Night & I’d barely made it home only to find the apartment full of people and loud music. Shaggy was having another of his stoner parties, so I went to the double doors that made up the entrance to my room and crashed into exhausted darkness of sl**p.
I was deep in sl**p with visions of a naked Claudia frolicking when I was awakened from my sl**p by a strange sensation … a wet, heated sensation that seemed to emanating from my crotch and inner thighs … There was a strange slurping, sucking sound in the darkness.
I opened my eyes seeing nothing in the pitch dark of my room and was obliged to hit the switch on my bedside lamp.
My room was suddenly illuminated. I was still under my large thick blankets lying prone with my head facing the room’s double doors. However, there was a strange spherical object bobbing up and down between my legs.
I panicked throwing the blankets back only to find ….
Gloria giving me head.
She explained that she had sought the comfort of my bedroom floor when Shaggy’s festivities had become a little bit too much. Gloria then went on to explain that she had been disturbed to find me restlessly tossing and turning in my sl**p and had thusly decided to help me “relax”. she complimented me on the cleanliness of my cock and clearly intended to finish giving me head.
I declined ( Out of well, embarrassment that I could sl**p while someone was sucking me off.) … Gloria insisted that it was no big deal and that no one would be the wiser. She said that I needed to realign my “chi” or something to that effect.
In fact the entire time we had been talking about the pros and cons of the continued head, she had been softly stroking my cock in a soft yet measured manner. She was extremely skilled in this regard. I figured “hell with it”, I wasn’t seeing anyone and I had no chance with Claudia anyway.
Gloria was actually quite attractive in an ethnic kind of way. She had a soft round youthful looking face with a somewhat prominent nose that gave away her jewish heritage. She was soft and cuddly, her tiny digits wrapped around my member like she was holding a flute. Yes, she definitely had her technique down as she lay on her stomach between my legs sucking and stroking me increasing intensity.
I lost it in short order …. Blowing a quart of DNA deep into her waiting throat and becoming immediately embarrassed afterward.
Gloria sat on the end of my bed alternately drinking from a half full can of beer and lecturing me on being comfortable with showing my sexual nature. She was quite the intellectual admitting to losing her mojo after giving herself anally to her liberal arts professor & being rebuked from his social circle afterwards.
I’m laying on my bed again with Gloria on top of me … her blue thong pulled to the side as she rides me cowgirl. For some reason, I’m just weirded out when I should be ecstatic that I’m getting laid. I close my eyes and reach under Gloria’s Mario Bros. t-shirt cupping her surprisingly full breasts. Both of her nipples are pierced.
Gloria removes her t-shirt and starts grinding the shit out of me all the while mumbling some existential bullshit about everything having it’s place in the universe. She locks her legs against the sides of my pelvis and grinds me nearly to dust as she begins to orgasm.
I don’t cum … but my cock quivers uncontrollably.
Gloria wraps her tiny fingers around my cock and starts sucking on my balls . I ultimately fill her mouth with more liters of cum than she can handle.
She asks me if I am still embarrassed and I admit that I am.
She sighs and looks around on a bedside table finding another can of beer. She has some light freckles on her back. I want to kiss them. She grabs the remote and turns on the television. We sit in my bed together watching War of the Gargantuas …. It is a really cheesy movie.
I’m pounding the snot out of Gloria’s ass. Normally, I’m not the kind of guy that would -…well, I usually don’t do anal. But Gloria has convinced me that it will help her get closure about the debacle concerning her professor.
It’s an extremely tight fit . Gloria is on her knees bent over my bed. Me, I’m grabbing her fleshy square butt and working my crank deeper and deeper into her ass. She has her face buried into the comforters on my bed, moaning loudly.
In the other room, Shaggy’s party continues unabated.
I shoot a third and final load deep into Gloria’s rectum and pass out on top of her. I am not embarrassed … I’m simply spent.
I awake from my exhausted slumber and look across the room to see Gloria sitting on the toilet in my private bathroom looking dejected. She is sobbing.
I finally awake from my weird night of nasty sex to find Gloria cuddled up under me. She looks somewhat at peace. I gingerly slip out of bed and prepare for work.
When I come out of the shower, Gloria is standing there with a cup of coffee wearing one of my t-shirts. She assures me that she isn’t trying to make anything out of her tryst, just that it was a release for both of us. She admits that she probably needed the sex more than I did and feels like she can finally get on with her life.
I don’t know what to say to that .
I really don’t.
Gloria pulls on a pair of jeans and quietly leaves my room after giving me a kiss on the cheek. I hear the front door close moments later.
I’m standing in what’s left of my living room. Shaggy and his friends have trashed my home.
I’m just about finished sweeping up all of the loose trash and beer bottles. My hard wood floor is sc****d to shit, but I could care less. Shaggy is nowhere to be found, a cryptic message left on the fridge the only clue to his whereabouts.
Text message from Claudia: “Meet you at Café.”
Sometimes I had breakfast with Claudia before going to work. Today, her text was a little bit early this particular morning. And I quickly finished my preliminary cleaning to catch up with her.
Gloria is little more than an afterthought as I take a care to the café where Claudia is waiting . It’s a quaint little corner café run by an old Chinese couple (Both guys) and the food is just above adequate.
I actually find Claudia waiting for me in the doorway. The over anxious look on her face gives me a moment of pause … The hug that follows is equally alarming.
I have just spent the last twenty minutes listening to Claudia pour her heart out about how Ricardo treats her like trash and barely even looks at her anymore. I’m sympathetic but not overly so … Secretly this alarms me. Is it because I had just the night prior hours upon hours of guilt free sex?
While she’s talking to me I’m actually fazing in and out of consciousness. Her words are starting to become slurred, my vision blurs as she goes on and on relentlessly about this Ricardo douche. The obvious results of my marathon night with Gloria. My mind begins to wander a few hours earlier to Gloria’s fleshy butt bouncing up and down on my worn out cock. She was so uninhibited and well, accommodating. I began to wonder if I should pursue the easier path with Gloria.
“Are you listening to me?”
There was an actual look of desperation on Claudia’s face.
I was at a lost for words in the face of this plain and simple question from the object of my desire and lust for months prior. She was looking straight into my pie hole waiting for me to respond. Before I could formulate an answer, Claudia had let out a quite audible sigh and hit the door.
The loud slamming of the restaurant’s glass door snapped me out of my stupor long enough to catch up with Claudia as she stood on the curb facing the street. I apologized profusely lightly touching her arm.
She responded with a kiss.
Instant Reply - Claudia Escobar kisses me…. In the middle of the street. In public no less.
Before I could respond, she had hailed a cab and was off to work minus me. Her BFF (Or so I thought.) left standing on the corner this overcast morning. I went back into the café and paid the bill before running two blocks to the subway station and nearly getting hit by at two cars.
Twenty five minutes late for work. Debbie had been waiting for me at the time clock with a write up. I didn’t plead my case or even try to appeal to her better nature … I simply signed it. No questions asked …. No problem … I just didn’t care about Debbie’s bullshit today. She actually looked surprised when I signed the paper work.
Since midnight, my life had become complicated. I’d accidentally gotten laid with one of Shaggy’s friends and to top it off Claudia has picked today to start some drama. I didn’t know how to feel about it as I played “the kiss” over and over again in my mind’s theatre.
I spent most of the morning in a daze while life continued unabated all around me. The office was buzzing with fresh gossip of the blockbuster kind. Rumors stated that their was some sort of upheaval going on with the partners and that change was in the air. Some of my coworkers were speculating that it had been the reason why Debbie had been driving the office batty.
I sitting in the break room with a couple of guys. My friend Brad who’s been at the firm for a year longer than me and a temp named Gerald, some b*****r from across the bay (Oaktown) … He’s a temp worker from friggin’ Apple One and can’t seem to shut up about Debbie’s big freakish looking butt. He’s annoying, but only because he’s stating what I’ve been thinking for quite some time now.
“Damn, how do guys work with that in the office ? I wanna jump on her back every time she come up the aisle, shit man. Seriously, I don’t know how she can even walk through there without tearing those fucking cheap ass partitions up with them big ass hips.”
Brad had been drinking milk (with a straw) and was spewing fluid from his nostrils and mouth because of Gerald’s impromptu comedy act.
“Seriously, that shit got me fiending something serious. I never wanted to kiss an ass so bad in my life. Damn man, I’d like to run two fingers up the crack of that ass.”
I kinda chuckled at Gerald’s comments, but he was right. I had been wondering what was under all those pleated skirts for a long time now. I had entertained numerous internal skits where I’d worshipped Debbie’s ass in one form or another.
He was talking to me.
“Bra ? You’d hit that wouldn’t you bra? Gerald really wanted to know. Brad had leaned forward in his seat to hear my answer.
“Bra? I seen you staring at that donk man. You’d hit it serious huh?” I struggled to find an answer for Gerald, trying to find a plausible way to deny his sneaky accusation. My coworkers would heckle me out of a job if I’d admitted my fetish.
BREAK’S OVER !!!!
None of us had realized that Debbie was standing in the room just out of eyesight. There was no telling how long she had been standing there listening to our little jam session about her butt.
MR. JOHNSON, YOUR CHECK WILL BE MAILED OUT ON FRIDAY. YOUR SERVICES ARE NO LONGER REQUIRED. YOUR AGENCY’S SERVICES-ARE-NO-LONGER-NEEDED. I WILL BE HAVING A PHONE CONFERENCE TO LET THEM KNOW WHY THEY’RE CONTRACT IS CANCELLED.
YOU TWO BELONG TO THE FIRM. FOR HOW LONG, I REALLY DON’T KNOW AFTER TODAY, BUT YOU HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO “BOYS”.
All three of us were just blown away that we had been caught having a “locker room moment”. I don’t know if I was more surprised that she was there listening or that Gerald had “made me” regarding my obsession with Debbie’s butt. I didn’t know if today would be my last, but I was glad I hadn’t admitted anything.
I have been working multiple floors in the firm, happily pushing my mail cart from office to office. I was glad to be away from Debbie after the incident in the break room. A lot of the guys didn’t like pushing the cart around because it meant cramped service elevators and going through multiple security checks on each floor.
I knew that if I remained on the mailroom floor I would inevitably end up staring at Debbie whether I wanted to or not. Then, she’d probably shit can me for sure.
I got a text.
It’s Claudia … She wants to have lunch-and talk. It’s gonna be awkward considering the kiss we shared this morning. I’m pretty sure she’s gonna say something along the lines of “Lets just forget about what happened this morning and start all over again ..as FRIENDS.”
I didn’t return the text.
I’ve had an AWESOME night, a weird morning that included getting my ass in a sling with Debbie and I just didn’t feel like adding any more drama to my day. So I continue on with my day whatever may come.
I receive three more texts from Claudia, each more urgent than the last. For some reason I still don’t return her calls or even attempt to respond to the messages. I was getting more scared as each text arrived with a simple chirp on my cell. Mort, the security guard at the loading dock told me that now was the time to close in “for the kill” on Claudia.
He was probably right.
I finally cave and answer Claudia’s text. I blame my inattention on Debbie. She’s like a woman possessed on the phone going in and out of her native Spanish accent. Says she’s leaving work because she’s got this “feeling” about Ricardo. She wants to know if I’ll come with her … I tell her about being on Debbie’s shit list and make my apologies.
She slams on me.
Everyone has left the office except for me. It’s kind of a company policy that everyone has to get out of the office during the lunch hour. I’m sitting in the copy machine alcove watching all of my coworkers exit the floor.
I realize that since I’ve been working at the firm, I’ve had lunch with Claudia every single day since of my working career. I feel really bad about behaving like a douche’ earlier with her. I just want to make it up to her some how. I’m starting to get progressively worried about the status of our friendship.
“GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE CLOUDS AND GET MOVING BUDDY!!”
Debbie had managed to sneak up on me once more. She ushered me out of the office and locked the double doors behind her. She half pushed me into the service elevator that was full of more than a few engineers and couriers.
Once the elevators doors closed most of the loud talk and ambient noise in the car centered on what else …. Debbie’s huge ass. I began to wonder was everybody suffering from the same latent butt fetish as myself. My coworker Gerald had gotten himself shit canned for obsessing over it and my other buddy Brad would probably get the same treatment as well.
I should have answered Gerald’s question. Should have told him that yes, I would like to slobber all over that battle axe’s monstrous posterior and more.
As I filed along towards the building’s exit along with numerous other drones, I realized that I was …. Alone. There would be no smiling Claudia there waiting on the sidewalk to greet me. No Claudia to take a cab with me the few blocks over to our favorite Chinatown restaurant. She would always have wonton soup …. She made a big deal out of getting the fortune out of it’s shell without cracking the shell.
I could feel the wind, harsh and stinging sweeping in from the revolving door. It is a rainy, overcast day … a lonely day without my best friend Claudia.
I push through the frenzied crowd of busy people and begin dialing Claudia’s number on my cheap cell …. I immediately get her voice mail. This happens several more times … more than I can recall. I’m beginning to get a little anxious.
I go to the restroom and splash water on my face. I am beginning to realize the cost of my stupidity. There’s a queasy feeling in my stomach, but I’m not hungry. There’s a big ass lump swelling in my throat and I drink at least a gallon of water from one of the lobby water coolers.
Unable to face the lonely streets of Frisco, I take the elevator back up to the locked firm’s mail room. I usually work the early shift on weekends, so I have a key to the office.
I unlock the doors to the office and let myself into it’s darkened interior. I don’t know what I’m going to do when everyone gets back, but I need time to think things over. I cautiously lock the doors behind me.
I find Debbie standing there staring at me in the darkness … motionless … my heart nearly leaps out of my throat.
I’m gonna get shit canned for sure now.
I do my best to explain there in the afternoon darkness that I was just looking for a place to chill out until lunch hour was over. Debbie didn’t say anything, she just stood there with her features hidden by the darkness of the unlit office.
Something was going on … something …weird.
Debbie wasn’t moving … wasn’t saying anything … not a peep. I called out to her. She didn’t respond.
I hit the light switch by the door and a single overhead bulb illuminated the alcove I was standing in. Debbie …. Didn’t move or say one word.
Debbie didn’t look so hot. I don’t mean that she was sick … She had kind of a despondent look on her face. Her narrow cheeks were glistening with what appeared to be tears. She was slightly sniffling and staring me directly in the eye.
I called out to her again …. And reached a hand out in her direction. I really didn’t know how she would react but the situation demanded some sort of action. Inside, I wanted to tell her to fuck off … I had spent most of the morning avoiding this kind of unwanted drama, but this bitch had once again snuck up on me and tossed it right in my face like a water balloon.
Debbie took my hand..
She took two small steps towards me looking up into my shocked face. More tears began to stream down her face. I asked her what was wrong once more … I tried to sound concerned, but Claudia was on my mind.
“Do all of you HATE me so much?”
It was a simple question … very simple indeed. Of coarse everyone hated her stinking guts. She was “The GREAT TORMENTOR”, “SHRINKER OF MEN’S BALLS” … TYRANOSAURUS BITCH”!!
I feigned ignorance. Actually acted like I didn’t hear the question. I tried to reset the conversation but she asked again … “DOES EVERYONE HATE ME HERE AT THE FIRM?”
Debbie smiled and thanked me for my “honesty” half chuckling because we both knew how full of shit I was. There was a slight trace of alcohol on her breath and I chalked her somber demeanor up to a liquid consciousness. I cautiously led Debbie to the break room. I wanted to get her some coffee.
She simply followed me lithely and silently. I led her to the small table in the break room and kinda directed her to sit there while I got her some coffee.
She had to spoil it by talking.
“YOU NEVER ANSWERED THE QUESTION.”
I lied again …. But this time Debbie called me on it. She said that she knew no one liked her and barely tolerated her because of her position. I just listened to her ramble on believing that she was self analyzing and I was just a warm body she needed. Then she repeated the statement again.
“YOU NEVER ANSWERED THE QUESTION.”
This was getting a bit frustrating and I was starting to believe Debbie was one of those angry d***ks that are always spoiling for a fight.
She rambled on some more talking while I was talking muttering some fucking gibberish. I raised my voice a bit asking her what she was talking about … This hut her up and she robotically turned her head towards me and stated …
“YOUR FRIEND-THAT BLACK GUY … THE FUCKING TEMP GERALD!! HE ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU NEVER ANSWERED!!”
She definitely caught me off guard with that one.
“SO, ANSWER THE QUESTION-BUDDY!! … DO YOU WANNA FUCK ME OR NOT?!!”
Way the fuck off guard with that sudden outburst. I mean, like what the fuck could you say to something like that?
I tried to get Debbie to realize that she was more likely than not … d***k off her ass. I pushed the cup of coffee I had been holding across the table in her direction. Debbie let out an irritated loud sigh and slapped the cup to the floor.
We both looked at the coffee pool on the tile floor of the break room.
Debbie suddenly slammed her fist on the table and surprised me by half running over to the coffee pot and downing half of it. Her blouse was stained and soaking from coffee. She was honestly scaring me a little bit as she turned and bellowed ….
“DO YOU WANNA FUCK ME OR NOT?!!” I detected a powerful desperation in her voice that informed the next words to come out of my mouth.
For some reason Gloria immediately came to mind. That whole dissertation she went over with me last night about not being ashamed of my sexuality. Here was Debbie right here in front of me d***k or not daring me to answer a question …truthfully.
Debbie’s eyes widened, her thin lips stretched to the max as her jaw dropped in disbelief.
I didn’t know what would happen next, but she definitely didn’t keep me waiting for an answer.
Right there in the break room … The room shrouded in semi-darkness., I was shocked to find my day turning in another unexpected direction.
Debbie began to undress.
Off came the coffee stained blouse revealing a really nice set of breasts encased in a frilly under wire brassiere. She had tan lines that peaked over the top of the silky white material.
She had a surprisingly flat stomach for a woman of her age … there was only the slight bit of sag there and a slight hint of love handles. I noticed the perfectly ovoid navel of a swimsuit model.
A very thin belt held her pleated skirt to an incredibly small waist.
This came off as well … But the skirt didn’t fall to the floor. Debbie unfastened two large buttons at her side to further loosen the skirt.
It still didn’t fall to the floor.
I watched as she began to squirm and shimmy out of the ill-fitting garment … finally getting the material past gloriously succulent and smooth looking thighs.
The skirt fell to the tiled floor in a ring around her muscular looking calves.
Debbie Manchellini stood here in the office break room …in front of me, her whipping boy for over two years … in her underwear.
She wore what appeared to be some extremely small (for her size anyway) and extremely white panties. In the darkness, they were surprisingly the only illumination in the darkened break room. Her small waist not withstanding, the material was stretched to it’s limit so much so that you could barely see them over her economy sized thighs … The only thing apparent was the perfect triangle centered over her womanhood.
My eyes just d***k it all in … everything. This was pure eye candy saccharine sweet.
Debbie was silent again. The weird impulsiveness of her actions seeming to dawn on her as she stared at the coffee stained tile on the floor. She mumbled something and turned her back to me.
She shouldn’t have done that.
For two years, I had fantasized about Debbie’s backside … apparently along with half the building as well. And now I was witnessing the REAL DEAL.
The fucking thing was …. “OUT of this WORLD” !!
Literally … out of this world..
Two PERFECT shiny GLOBES resting at the end of her back. Resting perfectly and anchoring her impossibly small waist.
I found out another perfect triangle of white material starring me in the face. The rest of this material was hidden DEEP in a ROBUST and JUICY looking back porch.
“OH-WELL … GUESS THIS WAS A LITTLE MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR HUH?”
She was apparently referring to her FREAKISHLY, HUGE ASS. Debbie sounded crest fallen and defeated.
“I FUUCKIN’ HATE IT YOU KNOW… THAT’S ALL ANYONE EVER SEES WHEN I WALK INTO THE ROOM.”
“I WOULD HAVE GOT RID OF IT A LONG TIME AGO-LIPOSUCTION OR SOME SHIT … BUT I’M AFRAID OF THE KNIFE [surgery] IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.”
I did know what she meant and the thought of it horrified the shit out of me. That she would even consider removing what was arguably her greatest “asset” (pun intended) was incredibly short sighted …. I couldn’t let her do that, now could I ?
MY HUSBAND WONT EVEN LOOK AT ME ANYMORE …. HE SAYS I LOOK LIKE A HORSE … I KNOW WE’S FUCKING AROUND-OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!
I had responded to Debbie’s silly monologue by kneeling and spooning the shit out of her voluptuous ass cheeks. That put an end to all of the negative crap spewing from her mouth immediately. My hands could barely fit over her cheeks as I struggled to grope her butt with the intensity of a crack head. I settle for placing my hands under the shelf like curve of her ass and lifting and pushing those monster cheeks up and together.
Debbie moaned loudly as I ran my tongue up and down the crack of her monster ass. I had already ripped my cock out of my slacks when she had turned her back to me. My rock was completely extended and the tip was touching the cold stained tile of the break room’s floor as I licked Debbie’s ass until it was glistening with my saliva.
Debbie was completely bent over the counter groaning and orgasmically twitching with what I assumed was delight … I was going into a trembling frenzy and starting to shake furiously. I stood up and jerked my pants down to my ankles.
I slapped my cock deep into the crack of Debbie’s ass and began to run it’s length up and down her juicy and buoyant cheeks. I nervously pushed her cheeks together and began pumping them furiously.
Debbie did her part and thrust her incredible thighs in time with me … matching my cadence until soon the head of my penis was touching her brown eye. Debbie reached back and spread her cheeks with both of her small hands.
There was an open invitation right in front of me.
I didn’t even think about it.
Debbie let out a loud yelp as I shoved the entire length of my cock directly up her tight rectum.
Her ass was tight and moist as I screwed the shit out of her brown eye with wild abandon.
I’d say it took about fifteen thrusts as I injected a liter of hot cum into her amazing ass.
“REALLY LIKE THAT ASS …DON’T YOU ?”
I responded by grabbing her head and impulsively shoving my tongue down Debbie’s throat. That caught her by surprise and she squirmed for about a half second. After a few moments she was cooing and responding in kind …. I found her thin fingers jerking on the base of my shaft.
Debbie is lying on the floor of the break room (right on top of the puddle of coffee she spilled earlier.) with her knees drawn up into her chest.
I kneel down and gingerly press the head of my cock against Debbie’s quivering clit rubbing my engorged head against it until she begins to move around against the floor impatiently.
She lets out a loud gasp when I thrust my member deep into her well lubricated cunt and I basically fuck the shit out of her. There is nothing delicate about what we’re doing in that break room … It is not sex out of mutual attraction. It is nasty, mean spirited and something born out of desperate necessity. Something we both furiously needed. Debbie and I embrace with the strength of a bear hug and I feel myself painfully contort in her direction as she wraps her massive thighs around me like an anaconda and locks her steel calves into the small of my back.
I begin to arch my back in the opposite direction as far as it will go until ….
…. We both come together -loudly !!
We kiss with some tenderness after a few moments still connected as I fill her snatch with the remaining vestiges of my thick, congealing DNA. She actually has a creampie.
I sit bare assed on the cold floor replaying over and over again what we just did.
Debbie is silent as she slowly sits up and begins to pull her panties over her freakish calves.
We don’t look at each other.
We can’t …. It would be too awkward.
SUDDENLY … THERE IS A LOUD BANGING ON THE DOORS IN THE OTHER ROOM AS DEBBIE AND I REALIZE EVERY ONE HAS RETURNED FROM LUNCH. THEY HAD BEEN LOCKED OUT OF THE MAIL ROOM AS DEBBIE AND I FUCKED THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER.
To say we panicked was an understatement.
We scrambled, haphazardly putting our clothing back on as we both heard a loud cheer emanate from the hallway. One of the building’s engineers had come to the floor and was working his way through a heavy set of keys to open the office doors. In the seconds that I was standing there silently panicking, Debbie has squeezed herself back into her clothes and was shoving me out of the break room.
MOVE ASSHOLE !! WE DON’T HAVE MUCH TIME !! GO TO THE REAR OF THE FLOOR ….NOW!!!
Debbie’s sudden militaristic tone caught me by surprise and before I know it, I’m running fifteen feet across the office floor followed closely by my supervisor. As I sprint across the floor I realize that my fly is open and my wang is hanging out for all the world to see.
Debbie ushers me into a back office and locks the door behind her.
CALM DOWN !! EVERYTHING’S GOING TO BE ALRIGHT !! THERE’S A PRIVATE ELEVATOR IN THIS OFFICE … BE QUIET !!
Debbie had pulled a small key from the desk and was opening the elevator door in the small office. I had seen small utility elevators in buildings like this before. Debbie shoved me inside and instructed me to walk around the block and come back into the building.
I really didn’t have any choice in the matter once I was shoved inside the confines of the elevator which was a little bigger than a broom closet.
This is shaping up to one of the weirdest days in my life.
It’s really cold outside as I briskly walk around the block to the building’s entrance. It’s slightly drizzling as I make my way around the building. I’m weirded out by the events of the last few hours and feel that the random people walking towards me seem to be staring. It’s like they know something.
One strange man in a flannel shirt and corduroys whispers something in my ear as he passes.
“No sweat off my back sweet cheeks, but your fly is open. Thanks for the show.”
I look down and realize that I never zipped my fly up. In fact my penis is hanging quite plainly for all the world to see. The gay pedestrian chuckles as I turn towards the building’s wall and stuff my package back into my slacks.
No sooner do I enter the office when Debbie confronts me at the firm’s entrance arms folded across her chest. She is wearing a light wool sweater over her blouse (Covering up the huge coffee stain.). I’m a bag of mixed emotions as I mentally replay the incredible sex session we’d had only minutes ago.
SOMEBODY DOESN’T KNOW WHEN THE LUNCH HOUR IS OVER !!
What the fuck, I thought. She’s going to nail me for coming in late after we just got through fucking the snot out of each other …. “Bitch!”.
IN MY OFFICE RIGHT NOW MISTER !!
I’m completely flabbergasted as Debbie marches me back across the office to her small corner work space. A couple of my coworkers snicker as I pass them. I wanna retort with “FUCK YOU GUYS!! … I’M HAVING THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE !!” … but I don’t think Debbie would appreciate her cover being blown. Hell, she might actually fire me.
Once we’re inside the confines of her office, I am immediately seized by an oppressive sensation, a tightening of my crotch… No, it’s Debbie’s hand grasping my package like a bag of peanuts.
“I’m NASTY …. Let’s get “weird” together.” She whispers in my ear as she expertly manipulates my fly until she has the turgid length of my cock in her palm.
She then proceeds to literally “milk” me while giving an extremely loud verbal dress down (No doubt for the listeners on the other side of the office door.) about my tardiness.
To my amazement, I shoot a wad onto her desktop., which Debbie kneels and promptly slurps up. Funny, she resembled one of Shaggy’s friends doing a line of coke.
She also “cleans” my cock off with her hungry thin lips, wiping what’s left of my cum across her face.
Unfortunately she follows this with a deep soul kiss. Not real sure I wanted to know the taste of my own splooge … I really, really could have gone the rest of my life without engaging in what is referred to as a “snowball”.
Debbie “suspends me” for the rest of the day. She actually has me sign an action plan detailing that I wont be late again under threat of termination. I grab a healthy handful of her awesome ass while I scribble my name on the dotted line.
She lets out an exasperated sigh and half shoves me towards the office door.
“SEND YOUR LITTLE FRIEND BRAD IN HERE ON YOUR WAY OUT!!”
Brad looks like he’s gonna toss his cookies as I motion towards Debbie’s office with my thumb.
It was a miracle I could even walk at all let alone half hobble down the street away from the firm. I really didn’t feel like going home., didn’t want to see my roommate Shaggy who by this time had probably re-trashed the flat. I hadn’t really given him any thought since the morning cleanup.
My senses were still reeling from last night with Gloria and the virtual fuck fest this afternoon with Debbie. I didn’t know if we shared a one time tryst or was it going to go further? Why was she so distraught this afternoon?
Everything got so mashed up in my head that I began to f***e my mind in another direction. I ducked in a Game Stop and browsed a number of titles for my X Box (I was a casual gamer at best.). After about ten minutes in the store, my subconscious began to wonder again …. This time towards Claudia.
I pull out my cell phone, there’s one bar on the display. Shit!! I should have charged it while I was beating the hell out of Debbie’s vulva.
I place the call.
It immediately goes to voice mail. The sound of Claudia’s sweet voice brings things rushing back into perspective. Guilt begins to creep in from the dark places of my mind.
My phone is dead.
I never did get in touch with Claudia and I’m actually kind of relieved by that fact. In my mind I couldn’t find the right words to explain my rakish behavior or the fact that I’d been with two women since midnight. I knew that if Claudia saw me, she would immediately read the change on my face.
Yeah, there was no way I would be able to keep this shit from her and why should I have to?
Honestly, it wasn’t like we were dating or anything serious. I didn’t want to be a pig , but I hadn’t so much as sniffed her panties during the whole time we knew each other. I had more than paid my dues as her f***ed “gay BFF”. I became a little resentful of the brief kiss I shared with Claudia.
Why the fuck did she have to pick today of all days to finally give me that kiss? I had been waiting for that kiss for almost a whole year.
I’m still reluctant to return to my flat, so I catch a trolley over to Chinatown. Halfway through my afternoon sabbatical, I realize that I’m voraciously hungry. I find myself waiting in the doorway of me and Claudia’s favorite restaurant. The owners are nice enough to let me charge my phone. I grab a paper as I’m shown to a nice corner booth.
It’s raining again … albeit a little heavier than it was this morning. I have walked about half a block before I’m alerted to someone running up behind me. It’s one of the bus boys from the restaurant with my cell. I tip him and continue on my way.
There are at least ten voicemails on my phone from Shaggy.
The idiot is in jail.
I listen to a number of them as I rush to bail the goof out of the pokey. Well, that explains his absence this morning.
I arrive at the local precinct to find that Shaggy has already been bailed out …. By Claudia.
When I inquire about the circumstances of my roommate’s arrest, I’m told to piss off in no uncertain terms by the desk sergeant.
I do find out that they had only moments ago, exited the police station.
I don’t have the heart to chase after them, so I call Shaggy’s cell hoping that he wont pick up.
Unfortunately, he does … Oops, big mistake it’s Claudia. I tell them that I had recently arrived at the police station and mention my phone being dead. Claudia yells something at me in Spanish while I’m frantically trying to explain that the situation was out of my control.
Too late … She slams the phone in my face …for the second time today.
My umbrella hangs at my side flapping in the increasing wind. The rain cuts into my face, soaks my clothing and skin to the bone. My heart sinks as I hit the Bart (subway).
I sit in the last seat of an extremely crowded train mulling my actions of the past twelve hours or so… There is a homeless guy sitting to my right. He smells … bad … A couple is making out feverishly in front of me … They’re both guys. Funny, when I first moved to Frisco, this kind of public display would shock me. Now its little more than a mental blurb on my put upon medulla oblongata (brain). I wonder if I’ve become more liberal since that time or more self absorbed and full of myself.
I find Shaggy sitting on our beat up couch watching fucking “Glee” of all things. It’s been a while since he arrived at home and it appears he’s been “toking it and smoking it” the whole time.
The house is trashed again, but there is no one there but us. I ask about Claudia and he half laughs / half chokes on his bong.
“SHE’S TAKING A TIME OUT FROM YOU-b*o’.”
What the FUCK is that supposed to mean?
“SHE SAID YOU’VE BEEN BLOWING HER OFF ALL DAY AND ACTING LIKE THAT ASSHOLE BOYFRIEND OF HERS- THAT FUCKING DOUCHE RICARDO.”
I became extremely pissed and let Shaggy know in no uncertain terms how I felt about all of the nagging bullshit, the f***ed “ Gay BFF “ status and the incessant non-stop talk about fucking Ricardo. For once in my life I just wanted to be drama and guilt free. Damn right I was resentful of the way Claudia kept me at arms distance while not giving me the luxury one way or another of knowing if my cock was good enough for her to sit on.
“DUDE … YOU SHOULD BE TELLING CLAUDIA. NOT LAYING YOUR HANG UPS ON ME.”
Shaggy was completely stoned.
For once I felt like laughing in his face. This guy was blazed out of his gourd the whole time I was venting. I didn’t even know if he was aware I was talking to him. Fucking hilarious. I half felt like sitting down and sharing a couple of puffs on his industrial sized bong.
I noticed Shaggy pointing in the direction of my bedroom.
Claudia is standing in the double doorway looking directly at me. Her cheeks are glistening with what appears to be tears.
“I WAS -TAKING A NAP IN YOUR BED …. SORRY. SORRY FOR EVERYTHING. THIS JUST ISNT MY DAY.”
She snatched her overcoat off my unkempt bed and hit the door. She was definitely in tears as she fumbled with the lock on my front door. I rushed to her side apologizing profusely. She shoved me away and finally jerked the door open. I followed her outside across my rain slicked patchwork lawn to the street.
Through this whole exchange, Shaggy continued smoking the fuck out of his bong undisturbed.
Looking back on the whole exchange, I really envied Shaggy.
I’m standing out in the middle of the rain slicked street talking to Claudia who is sitting in somebody’s car. I don’t know at this point how I came to be involved in so much unwanted drama by simply trying to avoid an uncomfortable conversation.
Was I really so wrong for wanting to just have a day without bullshit?
Hell, all things considered, it had been a pretty strange and good day up until I put my foot in my mouth.
I’d been with two women … Through no actual effort on my part, I’d had mind blowing casual sexual encounters with two pretty hot women … one of them my ball busting supervisor. Funny thing is, when all of this started, I was thinking about Claudia. How much I wished our friendship was so much more … how I wished Ricardo would just drop dead … and how much being around her made me soar with happiness.
Now, here in the middle of the street in front of my flat … I’d become a Rom-com cliché.
I’d spent the last fifteen minutes pleading with Claudia to at least roll down the window and talk to me to no avail. She just sat in the back seat with the windows rolled up staring into space (She had locked the car doors.).
“OKAY CLAUDIA … YOU WIN. I ‘M DONE WITH THIS LITTLE EPISODE. I ADMIT I WAS TRYING TO AVOID YOU TODAY AFTER THAT LITTLE KISS … I JUST DIDN’T WANT YOU TO TELL ME THAT IT DIDN’T [MEAN ANYTHING] .. IT MEANT THE WORLD TO ME. BUT I DIDN’T WANT YOU TO TAKE IT BACK. -IT’S MINE CLAUDIA AND YOU CAN’T HAVE IT… GOODNIGHT.”
That was it as far as I was concerned … I’d mentally made my piece with Claudia being out of my life as I tucked my hands in my pocket and walked up my rain slicked walkway. Part of me was a little relieved. I’d been feeling a twinge or two of guilt regarding Debbie and Gloria. At least this way, I didn’t have to cop to being a complete man-whore over the last twelve hours.
Yeah, adios Claudia Escobar … ah, what could have been. At least in my mind anyway.
I stupidly looked over my shoulder.
The car door was open.
The street was silent … The door to the vehicle was open in a silent invitation. Yeah, I probably should just walk away and continue my probable affair with Debbie … damn what an ass !! … or maybe Gloria would like to make something of our time together. We did “cuddle” after our marathon session.
I didn’t need things to be so complicated.
Fuck the drama …. Fuck Claudia Escobar.
Believe it or not I got into the car with Claudia. Like a big, dumb lemming I had ceded the call of my loins and hopped into the vehicle.
Yeah, stupid huh?
Wrong !! … I making out with Claudia something fierce. At this point nothing weird’s me out. She’s straddling me, sitting in my lap with her arms wrapped around my neck. She’s a REALLY GOOD kisser. She actually uses her plump lips and juicy tongue in unison while she kisses.
HOW THE FUCK DID THIS SHIT HAPPEN?!!-you ask?
Well as I said … I got back into the car, sitting in the back seat with Claudia Escobar, once the girl of my dreams. We sat there for all of five seconds before she turned to me and whispered …. “What’s wrong with me?
“Nothing-you’re perfect.” Was my reply, I shit you not.
She gingerly grabbed my hand and started lightly kissing it, then followed up by kissing and sucking on my neck. Her technique was really something as I was suddenly faced with extremely tented slacks.
[Now keep in mind that I had screwed two women prior and several times each session.]
Claudia looked down at my barely hidden erection and traced the tip of her fingers along its length as she suddenly and quite acrobatically raised her left leg in the back seat and straddled me. My enshrouded boner was soon snuggly against her crotch. She pressed her pelvis against my erection forcing it against my abdomen as she began spooning the shit out of me.
Debbie and Gloria were becoming a distant memory.
Claudia sucked on my tongue with wild abandon, treating it like a uh, popsicle?
WHATEVER … uh, she began grinding me in unison with the sucking motion of her fabulous mouth.
Soon, I felt as if I was gonna explode in my pants. That delightful feeling of semen running along the shaft of my cock began to mount and intensify. I began to get nervous and sweaty.
Claudia didn’t seem to notice my fidgeting and continued to suck on my tongue and she even began running the length of her tongue up and down the side of my face. She was like a wild a****l. It was like a dam had burst somewhere inside her and everything was just pouring out. She was free to be as hot and sensual as humanly possible.
Claudia was sucking on the front of my neck and unbuttoning my rumpled dress shirt. I had been in a hurry this morning to meet her at the café and hadn’t put on an undershirt. Soon she had my bare chest exposed and she wasn’t happy stopping there. She had my belt undone and I hadn’t even realized it.
She reached into my pants past my underwear and pulled my penis into the air. She made a sigh of what I guess was pleasure when she had it out full in the street light illuminated backseat. My cock was fully engorged and thick veined.
At least three big jets of cum squirted out of my cock. My bare stomach and Claudia’s skirt were suddenly sprinkled with my man juice.
I felt like killing myself … right there in whoever the fuck’s car we were sitting inside.
I didn’t expect what happened next.
Claudia milked the rest of the cum out of my shaft with an extreme vigor that momentarily reminded me of Debbie.
She shifted her body snakelike in the backseat again and began lapping up all of my undeveloped k**s. She completely cleaned my belly and began serious “work” on the head of my cock.
I was immediately at attention so to speak.
“Oh, you’re ready again so soon.” She cooed.
Claudia sat on the back of her legs on the seat and removed her wraparound skirt. Her fashionable stark white blouse also followed. She wasn’t wearing a bra. Claudia has very beautiful teardrop breasts that jutted pneumatically out from her chest with large dark eraser sized nipples that were fully erect.
She moaned as I cupped one of her boobs and tossed her clothing in the front seat.
I drank her in with my eyes and was visually subdued with wonder and lust at the exotic creature before me.
Claudia leaned forward on all fours and began kissing me again. I played with both of her breasts as she straddled me again, this time aggressively grabbing my cock and pushing her pelvis towards it. I wanted to say something, but I didn’t want to ruin this moment.
She pulled her panties to the side and began rubbing the head of my cock on the moist lips of her vagina.
She slightly raised herself on the seat and I felt her begin to push her cunt against the head of my cock. I didn’t look but I could feel the tip of my penis begin to enter her cunt.
Claudia shifted and placed her hands against the back window moaning loudly as she impaled herself on my cock. She let out a yelp of pain and froze on top of me as the walls of her honey pot closed tightly around me. She gripped me tightly in her arms and we were motionless for what seemed like an eternity.
Claudia had shifted again and was squatting on top of me. She had started out slowly enough bouncing on top of me and had begun to increase the intensity of her thrusts along with the intensity of her moans. Soon, Claudia was literally fucking the shit out of me in that backseat. She moved serpentine like, contorting her pelvis in a way that caused my cock to slightly bend upward as it slid inside her.
I am palming the sweat slicked globes that are Claudia’s ass cheeks as she grinds me to dust with feverish vigor and intensity. She’s continues assaulting me with her tongue as she rubs my nipples between her thumb and fore fingers. It is a strange invigorating sensation that believe it or not only serves to send even more bl**d running to the head of my penis.
Claudia had f***ed me down on my back in the sweat covered backseat of that steamy car.
She was sprawled on top of me with her legs locked against my sides as she humped me to death.
She was serious determined to grind me into the seat.
“YOU LIKE THIS? … YOU LIKE MY PANOCHE’ ON YOUR FAT COCK?” I was relieved when she finally began talking to me. I just shook my head.
This seemed to fuel her lust further and she pressed her pelvis tightly against me as I finally came.
“FUUUUCK !!! FEEL ME PUSSY UP WITH YOUR CREAM !!! FILLL ME GOOD!!! “ Her eyes rolled up into her head as she arched her back against me. Her accent was thick and almost unintelligible as she screamed out her orgasm.
My thighs seized up painfully as I was sure I would be sterile from this point on in my life.
Suddenly Claudia collapsed almost lifelessly on my chest.
We lie there motionless for some moments afterward unsure of what would come next.
“I love you.” She cooed.
“I love you too Claudia.” We said it finally. We were honest with one another and it felt …AWKWARD (to say the least.).
Claudia and I sat in vivacious states of undress in the back of the car starring at each other. I watched her fish around in the front seat looking for her clothing. I was wracked with guilt over my earlier adventures with Gloria and Debbie.
I wanted to be honest.
I wanted to start out with a clean slate.
“What is it my love?”
“Well-I uh, I want to-.”
BANG !!! (There was a loud explosion.) That was all I heard followed by …DARKNESS.
I awoke two months later … turns out Ricardo had followed Claudia and watched us do the deed.
He always carried a pistol.
Ricardo was in jail ….for a very long fucking time.
Claudia had been at my bedside every day for the past two months.
I had lost my short term memory. There was something I wanted to tell Claudia that night but I couldn’t remember what it was.