I am currently seeing a newbie sub. Whilst I have known her for a number of years, it has only been recently that for a whole lot of reasons we started seeing each other. What has been a challenge for me is bringing her up to speed with what and who I am. At this point do I really need to say the obvious - that for anyone in the BDSM lifestyle per say - its not something you can just bring up at any dinner party conversation is it?
I work as a senior exec and I travel a lot for work. C level negotioations make up a lot of what I do........I say this to make the point, I move in a lot of different circles and therefore keep my extra curricualr activities to myself and select friends. BDSM doesnt form the only part of my social life either, I have a number of friends with a wide variety of interests that keep me doing all manner of things socially.
So back to my point with the newbie - here we are having a drink one night and discussing life in general and she bluntly asks me - so what are you into? A kaleidescoope of thoughts rushed through my mind including - what does she know about me??? Racking my brain in an attempt to remember anything I may have said in the past to give her a clue - coming up with nothing I handled the question rather well. I said I have interests beyond just the 'norm' and stereotypical - the vanilla as I have a creative mind and imagination. Well that just incited her to ask more questions of course and fair to say I kept her at arms length or perhaps better put - with titbits of information allowing her to go away and think it over, inevitably coming back for more.
She would call me naughty.....and I would feed her a bit more until the point came where really its time to shit or get off the pan. And so I referred her to a number of websites - no not porn sites, laughs - rather sites that explained the dynamic of the D/s relationship, what submission really means (so many people dont have a clue) what the D's responsibilities are etc etc. I recall her coming back to me with a glint in her eye - she was even more excited than ever before.
So I sent her a BDSM checklist and asked to fill it out giving every activity fair thought. Where she didnt understand the activity then say so and ask - I would clarify later. Interestingly I still have that original document today - I think we are up to version 6 now and my my how they change (the ratings that is) and its a very different looking document today. So much or many of the changes she has made can be put down to understanding, learning and therefore knowledge. At first she thought BDSM was all about being rough, one hitting another and being outright bossy etc (all the common misconceptions) and NOW - she is experiencing jthe incredible highs, the emotional connections that have not been in her life previously and the freedom of mind she can have without fear or retribution and certainly being judged. I am very proud of being her mentor through all of this - taken 3 years????
My profile I think mentions how I love squirting so much....... did everyone pick up on that...laughs. Ya know I taught this newbie to squirt.....yes I know you can look on me in disbelief but its true. I did. And let me tell you she is now prolific...I do hope to have some vids of her shortly... Its difficult to film when all you wanna do is drink it....anyway I digress. Slut (as she is known now) reminds me quite often, thanks me and tells me how empowered she feels because of it. I'm available for lessons at reasonable rates......
I would love to discuss with others their experiences with meeting new people and the challenges they have faced opening up to their new partners.
I'll be back soon to continue chatting to myself.... Have a great day wherever in the world you are. MC