What's Wrong With Me?

I would like readers to be honest and tell me if you think there is anything wrong with me. Am I different from other girls? I am starting to become concerned that I will never settle down and get married. Two of my friends have already got married, and quite a few more have steady boyfriends for sex. My problem is that I can only seem to orgasm and be truly happy when I am in a new relationship. After a few weeks the excitement seems to fade and the relationship ends. My friends know that I only started having regular sex in April, and already I've had five boyfriends and one girlfriend.....

I met my latest boyfriend on September 3rd at a local swimming pool. I often go there on a Saturday but hadn't seen this boy before. I guess it was a purely physical attraction from the start because I noticed the bulge inside his swimming trunks first, and then his chest and legs. The fact that he was quite ordinary looking didn't seem to matter and when came across and chatted and asked me out that evening I was really happy. I went home that afternoon already in a state of wet sexual arousal and found myself fingering between my legs in the shower and again when I put my panties on ready to go out with him. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought of his hands going down inside them.

But I was determined that I wouldn't have sex with him: not on our very first date. But I guess I was equally sure that I probably would have sex with him on our second or third time together. After our date was coming to an end, I tried to conceal the urgency I felt inside to have sex with him as he walked me back home, but I'm still not very experienced at hiding my feelings and he asked me if I'd go to bed with him.....and after some urging I finally agreed. I guess he knew that it was only a matter of time before I agreed if he asked me often enough. It was the first time I'd had sex with a man on a first date, and afterwards I felt annoyed with myself that I'd given in so easily.

Yet, the important point is, I had an orgasm almost as soon as he undressed me, or at least as soon as he had me down to my bra and panties, and another as his tongue started to lick under my arms and around my belly button, before going lower to explore between my legs. I had another as his cock started to part my outer lips, and several more as he penetrated me and started to push ever deeper and deeper inside my kang-kang with every successive thrust. Sex, sex, and more sex followed over the next fortnight. Once at the hospital, twice in my bedroom at home when my Mum and Dad were out, and at least three times in the bushes and long grass opposite our house.

But what concerns me now is that already my passion is no longer the same intensity as when we did it in his tiny and untidy bedroom in early September. He still seems to be just as eager for me, but I am finding it more and more difficult to orgasm when we have our sex. I'm not as wet when he enters me, and it's taking him longer to get me aroused. I fear that the same pattern is repeating itself as happened with Carlo, Lucio and the other men. Why can my friends seem happy and content with just one man, and yet already I'm falling out of love with yet another boyfriend.

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Posted by martina1992
3 years ago    Views: 623
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3 years ago
Thank you all for taking the time and trouble to respond to my worries. The comments are all thoughtful and I appreciate them very much. Thanks.
3 years ago
i tend to agree with goinstrong. your young & very new to sex & its many pleasures. i was sowing my wild oats into my 30's.
3 years ago
Celebrate your joys where you find them. Don't analyse them. Don't label them. And, whatever you do, do not ask someone else to validate them.

Love and peace be with you.

3 years ago
Your talent, is also your burden, my dear.
With a great mind, you worry a lot! ;-)P
But no-one knows how life looks like next year.
Nor love life ... Enjoy the thrills of your
newest conquers and you´ll find a partner for
longer later! ... First find out what you like ;-)P
3 years ago
Hello, Martina 1992 - thanks for the story, and for asking for feedback.

If the "1992" reflects your year of birth, then you have little for which to be concerned. If that is your birth year, you are 19. At age 19, it is common for males and females to not be focused on what is meaningful in their lives.

Newness of anything is special. For children, when they get a new toy, they play with it incessantly. In a short time, they tend to lose interest (unless it's REALLY a GREAT toy).

It is possible you are still evolving - still trying out different things. Young people - male and female - tend to commonly engage in sex as experimentation and self-indulgence, not because they have deep feelings for someone.

It's probably a good idea to reflect on what causes you to be drawn to "new" men, but lose interest quickly. If you can identify what you are seeking, it should be able to be found.

Be patient, and be confident in yourself. If you make it so, it will get better with time. Just be careful with the decisions you make.

Be Well!