Learning to love sex 4
I know I should be concentrating on revising for my final examinations. You'll think me silly, because instead I find most of my waking hours given over to the contemplation of sex and masturbating in my bedroom. I never used to think about it much. I used to hear my Mum and Dad doing it in the next bedroom, and me and my s****r would glance at each other and smile. But I never noticed that it was all around me. The inexorable natural law. Stupidly failing to recognize that sex was the reason for our very being here, the hidden guide to our every waking action as adults.
It was very difficult for a convent-educated girl like me to accept this earthy law at first. The nuns hadn't told us anything about sex, and had warned us of the hazards of "self abuse": touching ourselves was a sin. I can recall being aroused in the past, usually by Catholic imagery in the convent chapel. I'd get aroused in prayer, contemplating what Jesus had done for me, and I now realise that this was akin to cumming, because I would sometimes find my panties strangely wet afterwards. But these new feelings, natural feelings from deep within me, are different.
Fate, I guess, had taken a hand by showing me that my own Daddy was just an ordinary man, not the superman I'd always imagined. Seeing him thrusting his penis into our helper in the back garden had broken the precious bonds that bound me to him and kept me away from other men. And, as you know, I lost my virginity to Ben, the taxi driver, soon afterwards.
Although I was elated, I still tried to find a way back. I prayed for help. I went to confession (for the last time). The new parish priest, no more than 30, asking me all sorts of questions about what I'd done, where I'd touched him, where he'd touched me. But it was no use....talking about sex in the darkness and privacy of the confessional only arousing my desire still more. I now hungered for sex and the feeling of freedom and liberation it gave me.
Now, just two months later, wherever I go the urge to have sex seems to dominate my thoughts. Even an everyday task like buying underwear has become an exercise in sexual arousal. Instead of just going into the mall and quickly buying a pair of "sensible" knickers, I now seem to find myself spending more and more time selecting them. Knowing now, of course, that these aren't just bits of underwear to be hidden underneath my skirt or jeans, but a fashion item that a boyfriend might see and admire. I always used to wonder why other women spent such a long time choosing these things!
But it was a friend at work who suggested I might use a shopping trip to buy underwear as a means of seduction. She told me that her trick was to always take her boyfriend on such outings to buy her panties and bras. She said it always got him interested, and knowing that he was going to get to see them when they went to a hotel, he invariably paid the bill.... Apparently, he always says something naughty like, "...what a waste, I'm going to rip them off you in a few minutes."
So, last Thursday, I decided to take Ed on a similar trip. Rose - my Dad's girlfriend - had suggested that far from being gay, he probably just needed arousing from his sexual slumbers. She said that his sexual education might have just been neglected. Just like mine had been, I suppose. She also told me that men who don't get it regularly don't necessarily become more horny, but just lose interest in sex. And I have noticed, by the way, that since my Dad started his affair with Rose, his sex life with Mum has started to improve. Mum seems to want him more.
Anyway, I took Ed to an expensive shop in the mall. They sell lots of nice panties and bras there: most of them imported from Europe. They are all very pretty, with lots of bows, and many of them made of lace. "Do you like black?" I asked, pulling a see-thru pair off the rack. When this didn't really get the desired response, I became more bolder, more eager to get him aroused. "What colour do you like, Ed?" I ventured. Slowly, very slowly, I could tell from his eyes that his interest was rising, and by the time we got to the cash desk he was eager. "Let me pay," he said. Anna Marie's advice had worked!
We're having another date this afternoon. The first "hot date", last weekend, not being too successful. My Mum and Dad are at a promo at a beach resort near here, and my s****r is working in town. So we'll have the house to ourselves. As it's near the time of my period starting, I'm feeling extremely horny. I'm always like that. I've been masturbating with my new toy, and the lips of my kang-kang are itchy in expectation of Ben's arrival at 2 pm. Rose has been giving me tuition on how to squeeze his penis with my vaginal walls, so hopefully I'll capture him. I'll update my journal later on...........
TO BE CONTINUED.