Sex in Nana's Attic
I expect some of you will say that I gave it away too easily. And perhaps I will live to regret it later. But my virginity has gone. It's gone! The girls at work always used to say that when you lose it, people can tell by looking at you that you have had sex. But I don't think anyone has really noticed anything different about me. And I don't really feel as differently as I thought I would either, except that I do find I am starting to think about sex more since it happened. I wonder if that is normal.....
Anyway, it didn't happen as I thought it would: perhaps after a long courtship and lots of preparatory kissing and cuddling. Or with the man who was to be my husband - that is how I always hoped it would be. That is how I always planned it would be. But this was unplanned, and I was totally unprepared for the new sensations that arose in me on Christmas night.
I just didn't expect that a party at my Lolo's house would see me become a woman. I just thought we would spend the evening singing kara-oke, with the men drinking coconut wine and playing cards in the back room. That is how it has always been in the past.
There were the usual elderly neighbors of Nana there, as well as Nanay and Tatay, my s****rs and b*****rs, and the usual helpers and ya-yas on their night off. There were also lots of cousins and uncles from the nearby villages. I guess there must have been about 25 to 30 of us crammed into Nana's hot and humid sala that night.
When I started talking to Ramon, I just thought it was a totally innocent conversation. If I had thought for one moment that it would end up with me having sex with him, I would have been overcome with shyness. But this was a boy I had known all my life: the grandson of one of Tatay's older b*****rs. It seemed quite natural to be talking about what had happened to us over the past year. We're about the same age, you see, and have both just started work.
Perhaps I was naive. But when Ramon suggested that we go outside and sit on the wall to talk - where it was cooler and quieter - I thought it was just kindness and friendliness on his part. But it was dark where he chose to sit, shaded from the street light by a tree, and it felt romantic. Feelings new to me stirred inside me as we chatted in the darkness. I had strange feelings in my stomach, and I think my puki was also getting aroused by the feeling of him being close to me.
It only needed him to put his arm around my waist for me to lose my inhibitions. I did try to hold onto myself - I did sincerely try - but after we had been kissing for a few minutes, quite shyly at first, I wanted him. And I guess he wanted me, because he suggested that we go inside: up to the third floor of Nana's house. It's not used anymore, not since my Mum and Dad had used it when first married.
No-one noticed us disappearing up the stairs. And my heart was pumping with excitement as we went up and into the attic room, where there was just a simple bed and wardrobe. I just knew that this was it. This was when I was going to turn from a girl into a woman. It just felt right. After all, this was the bed where Mum and Dad had probably made me. I had none of those feelings of hesitation that I had had with my boyfriends in the past.
We remained fully clothed, though, for some time. But the kissing became more urgent now as we lay on the bed, and I felt him unbuttoning my red party blouse and feeling inside for my breasts. His hands soon seemed to be everywhere. Up my skirt, inside my knickers, tickling my feet, rubbing my breasts, massaging my bottom. Oh! I just wasn't prepared for this. It was all so new to me.
I had always thought that it should be the man who should undress his lady: at least on their first night together. But when I saw him taking his pants and shirt off, I got undressed quickly as well. I just left my knickers on, I think, out of modesty. And it was he who took those off for me. There was no time to think of kondom: we both just wanted it so much.
I must admit it didn't feel quite right when he started pushing against my opening, but I guess I wanted it so much by now that I wasn't going to tell him to stop. And then, after a few seconds, he was inside me. It felt wonderful to have him inside. It was long and it was rock hard. Just like a piece of wood - pushing, pushing, pushing ever deeper into me, filling me up right to the top.
I felt as if I had been released. I felt a wonderful sense of freedom as I lay there under him - naked and free. All sorts of new things were happening to me. I was wet down there in my puki, and my nipples were hard. And then my puki tightened and then rippled with pleasure as he continued to push into me. Three times at least that happened, and then he withdrew and I saw his white bl**d gush over my tummy and breasts. It was such a manly sight.
I don't know whether I will let this happen again. I keep telling myself that I won't let it happen again. That I will go back to how I was before. But I haven't been able to stop thinking about what happened on Christmas night ever since.